Those Who Have Thrice Defied Him
by caputdraconis14
Summary: From hate to love. How did it happen? Lists and schemes and old friendships... From Idealistic schoolchildren to powerful Order Members, parents, friends. In the face of Voldemort their lives will change. Starts their 7th year, ends October 31, 1981. JamesXLily
1. Head Boy

**_A/N: This is my edited chapter 1. For first time readers, welcome to my James/Lily fic. I love them dearly. Hope you enjoy. _**

Chapter 1:

_"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you." ~ William Arthur Ward_

Lily:

Mum told me I was the sort to make a list. I didn't think it was much of a compliment either. She caught me scribbling at the kitchen table the day before I left for school, etching out my long list of goals and notes for the upcoming schedule.

What Mum didn't realize was that it was her fault I did this. She had to go and raise such an organized, careful and mildly obsessive daughter. Or two of them, actually. Petunia was the neat freak. Everything was clean and orderly and perfect. I was the planner, lists and lists, and goals, and day by day schedules for homework and other work. My friends liked to make fun of me for it.

I tucked the list into my favorite, most prized black leather notebook, folding it in quarters and marking my current page with it. Emmeline and Alice were bouncing on their beds excitedly, jumping back and forth between each others as Marlene watched skeptically from her bed. Mary on the other hand had not yet reappeared in the dormitory after dinner, and if I hadn't known her so well, I would've put my Head Girl powers into action and hunted her down.

"Marlene, Lily, come on!" Emmeline begged, springing up and down and nearly strangling herself in Alice's bed hangings. I shook my head, kicking my shoes off, and entering my bed into the mix. I shook my robes off so that they didn't get in the way, and the three of us nearly clunked heads bouncing between our beds like children.

"I don't want to break anything," Marlene said huffily, stretching out on her bed. Alice raised her eyebrows, sighing heavily, and springing from my bed onto Marlene's, a very dangerous leap from one side of the dormitory to the other. She landed a little less gracefully than usual, narrowly avoiding Marlene's feet.

Acting like children? Yes. But this was a tradition. We always did something weird the first night, and it usually culminated or began with us jumping on the delightfully squishy Hogwarts beds. And without fail, it always took Marlene a good half an hour to digest her feast enough to join us in our fun.

I was glad to be back. Things were changing this year. I was becoming more assertive, more proud, more thoughtful, tactful, intelligent, and perhaps, a little more lenient and patient at the same time. I knew I had my work cut out for me as soon as I stepped into the compartment at the front of the train.

James Potter was Head Boy. It proved to me nothing except for the fact that our darling headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, had finally fallen off the deep end. I didn't know what he was thinking, putting an arrogant, player, arse of a person in that position of power, but he had done it, and that was that.

The first words out of Potter's mouth had been the usual attempts to get me to date him, followed briskly by his insistence that he would not tarnish the title of head boy and had every intention of upholding his position, complete with every duty and expectation that it carried. He then proceeded to glare at me heatedly while I laughed at the absurdity and likeliness of all of it.

But I would handle it. With poise and dignity, I might add. And as soon as he had vacated the compartment to stir up trouble I would have to put a stop to, I added the words "To not kill James Potter" on the end of my list, before heading out of the compartment to make sure he wasn't hexing anyone.

After the feast, when we had to help direct first years and prefects, James Potter and I ended up walking to Gryffindor Tower together, and I was forced to accept that even arrogance had a good side, and as he offered to help me through the portrait hole, I was only half insulted. The other half of me was impressed at his chivalry. But that lasted only a matter of seconds when he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him. I declined yet again and stormed up to my dormitory, leaving him sheepishly standing in the common room, where Sirius found him later, I assumed.

I would survive him. Tolerate him. And perhaps, working closely with him, I could file down his rougher edges and mold him into a person actually worthy of his title—and in his opinion, I was certain, worthy of me, but that would truly never happen.

Marlene finally joined our fun, deeming herself not nauseas enough to vomit while we jumped on the beds and the four of us, later joined by Mary, began our enjoyable fun as seventh year Gryffindor girls.

-CD-

James:

"We own this school," Sirius declared, a Gryffindor flag tied around his neck as a cape.

"Calm down, Padfoot," Moony said, yawning from his bed, where he was lounging comfortably with his arms behind his head, looking a little worse for wear.

"But it's true!" Sirius said. "We owned it before, but now, finally, we truly do. We are seventh years."

"Good job," I said. "You know how old we are."

"We're seventeen," Sirius said.

"You're drunk," I accused.

"You gave me the booze," he pointed out.

I shrugged. "You didn't have to drink it."

'You are a miserable head boy," Moony informed me. "Providing alcohol."

I grinned at him. "No one said I had to be perfect."

"But it's your first day and you're already tarnishing the title," Wormtail pointed out. "Didn't you say you were trying to avoid that?"

"No one is seeing me tarnish the title, and therefore the title isn't tarnished," I said

. "We're seeing you tarnish the title," he pointed out.

'Yeah, but you're not going to tell anyone," I reminded him, rolling my eyes. I flopped onto my bed, throwing my tie on the floor and gently putting my Head Boy and Quidditch captain badges on the bedside table.

When I got the letter in the mail, I was shocked, appalled. I actually stared at it for a moment and started laughing. I'd never been so in shock in my entire life. My mother started hyperventilating she was so proud, and my father, who I was always a quite a bit like, was equally in awe. Sirius, present at the time, ripped the badge out of my hand and deemed the letter apocryphal.

But it turned out it wasn't. I wrote Moony, shocked that he hadn't gotten the honor. And a real Hogwarts letter didn't come in the mail. It was true. It was, for one thing, unheard of for someone who hadn't been a prefect, to earn the badge. I hadn't been trusted enough to be a prefect, and yet the Head Boy badge was given to me? This didn't make sense.

Padfoot argued that it had to have come to me because of my talent. I was the best in the class, with him and Evans, and well, I'd done some pretty fabulous spellwork in my time at Hogwarts, under the watchful eyes of Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall, young head of Gryffindor House. And I had, I supposed, shaped up a bit in the sixth year, mostly because I was mortified that Evans would never actually like me…

Obviously she was Head Girl. The honor could go to no one else. She was good, deep down inside, through and through, organized, thoughtful, and she was smart, talented, and witty. I was lucky to be able to work beside her this year. Very lucky. My crush from her, fostered in first year, had only gotten a little more annoying—and according to Padfoot, definitely more obsessive—as the years went by. At this point, I only had the school year left to make her realize that we were perfect for each other. She would get it eventually.

We would balance each other out. For one thing, she was anal, and sometimes stuffy. I would loosen her up. And she could knock me down in the arrogance and obnoxiousness. It was a perfect match. She just seemed to fail to realize this. I would just have to wake her up. Which hopefully would happen this year as we worked together to fulfill our Head duties.

"So what's the game plan this year?" Padfoot wondered, unbuttoning his shirt and relaxing on his bed.

"Lots of fun," I said. "Secret fun so as to not get me stripped of my powers."

"Secret fun is the best type," Padfoot said, yawning loudly. Peter nodded his head eagerly from where he was sitting on the top of his footboard, feet on his trunk.

"James Potter and Sirius Black defining fun," Moony said thoughtfully. "Let me contact Webster."

"Who?" Peter said.

"Muggle Dictionary?" Moony offered. "No? Okay."

"Why were you perusing a Muggle dictionary?" Padfoot wondered.

"I wasn't perusing. There was one in a shop in London," Moony explained.

"And then you perused it," Padfoot said. "Because it was a book, and Muggle or not, you can't keep your hands off of it."

"Right…" Moony said. "Go to sleep, Sirius."

"I'd rather not."

"Why am I friends with you?" Moony wondered. "My drinking rebellious friends?"

"Because we're your roommates, and you have to be our friends no matter what," I said. "Take Frank for instance." I pointed over to our third roommate, who was sleeping contently, already unconscious despite the amount of noise we were making in the dormitory. "He's our friend. And yet… he's so different from us. We're not particularly close, but yet… well we're friends. Even though he doesn't walk on the wild side, and is good and all that, and he gets along quite well with Evans's group of people that do no wrong… And yet he's our friend. Because he's stuck in our dormitory, so he sort of has to be."

"I can't imagine being stuck in a dormitory with us and not tolerating us," Padfoot said.

"Our group has a unique flavor," I said.

"Flavor?" Moony said. "What a word for it."

"But back to this year!" Padfoot insisted, throwing a pillow at our werewolf friend. Remus threw it back at him.

"I don't know what wonderful things we'll be up to yet, Padfoot," I said. "Be patient. You and I will come up with something… fun."

"Fun," Padfoot echoed. "Secretly."  
>"Secretly," I said. "With the occasional detention."<p>

"What would a school year be without the occasional detention?" he agreed.

"Occasional?" Moony said skeptically. "Don't you two know that the definition of occasional is 'every once in a while?' You had a detention almost every week last year."

"I wouldn't say _every _week…" I said, looking at Sirius for backup.

"It was pretty much every week," he allowed. "it really is a miracle they gave you a badge of such prestige, Prongs. The name's already been tarnished at this point, just being a title attached to you…"

"Thanks for the support," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Honestly, I give it a week before they strip you of your powers and hand the title on over to Moony there," Padfoot said. "And I mean that in the kindest way possible, Prongs."

"Thanks," I said again. "but I hope not. That would look really bad in front of Evans."

"Oh… I forgot about her," he said, rolling his eyes. "Why does she always appear in our conversations, I ask you?"

"Because James is positively taken with her," Moony said dramatically, rolling on his back so that his head was hanging off the side of his bed. "I don't think it will ever go away. She could give him the cold shouldered death glare for the next fifty years and he would never relent."

"Hopefully she won't be giving me a cold shouldered death glare much longer," I said content with the concept.

"Good luck," the three of them said together (with Peter a little behind, of course).


	2. Disturbing My Air

**_A/N: Well it appears I have a clear front running for my next fic. Credit for this goes to three things/people: First, to my addled brain and short attention span unless I'm passionate... ErinFabu, who reviewed me, and honestly I can't say no to someone who speaks reason and sense, and finally, and most importantly, to ilikepie2013, who reads all of my stuff before any of you do and told me to do eenie meenie miney moe when I couldn't choose between this and Draco... So Lily/James it is. Without any further ado or nonsensical rambling on my part, I give you chapter two of THE LIST Enjoy!_**

Chapter 2:

Lily:

"Done primping yet, Miss Head Girl?" Emmeline demanded, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, dressed in her school uniform with her tie slightly askew.

"Yes I am," I said strictly, readjusting the clip in my hair once. Emmeline shook her blonde head. "Let me have a mirror will you? Alice has to touch all of her makeup up so that she doesn't look bad in front of _Frank."_

Alice rolled her eyes and swept on more lipstick, wiped it off, and then put on more.

"I am the only one in this group with a steady boyfriend, and I see no reason for me to be mocked because of it," she said sternly, giving both Emmeline and me a look to match her tone.

"She has you there," Marlene said, poking her head out of the shower.

"I really need to use that Head Girl bathroom tomorrow," I commented, ducking under Emmeline's arms, and nearly plowing headlong into Mary who was trying to get her mane of unruly black hair to remain in a bun. I waved my wand, giving it a little help, and grabbed my robes and bag before ducking out the door.

The common room was alive with excited first years who were shaking nervously in anticipation of their first classes. The second years had taken on a cocky air and were sharing with the younger students their store of wise and in their opinions, very unlimited, Hogwarts facts. They weren't trying to trick each other, just yet, and if I heard that they were, I would be issuing detentions faster than they could make up excuses.

"Evans!" a familiar, obnoxious and usually very stressful voice sounded from behind me.

I turned to see James Potter, shrugging on his robes as he came down the boys' steps, his bag over his shoulder.

"Good morning Potter," I said frostily, turning around and heading back toward the portrait hole. Casual conversation with James Potter was truly not how I wished to spend my morning. Especially the first day of school.

"Wait," he said. "I have a letter from Professor Dumbledore for both of us."

"Oh," I said, stopping.

"He wants to meet us after breakfast," he explained, holding the scroll out to me in case I wanted to double check for myself.

"All right," I said, hoisting my bag up on my shoulder.

"Yeah?" he said. "Good."

He followed me out of the portrait hole and, despite my attempts to lose him—quickening my pace, or slowing it abruptly so that he almost ran into me—he walked right behind my right shoulder.

"Can I help you with something Potter?" I asked him finally.

"Well…" he said. "No. I was just walking."

"Right next to me?" I demanded, trying to keep myself patient.

"Well… yes," he said, shrugging.

"Okay…" I said. "Could you perhaps… increase the distance between us?"

"Sure," he said, stepping several steps to the right and keeping even with me now.

"Um…" I said. "Are you really just going to walk there?'

"It's modern times, Evans, guys and girls can walk down hallways next to each other," he said, grinning.

"You're disturbing my air," I grumbled, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my robes and staring at the floor.

"You're very huffy this morning," he commented. "How was your summer?'

"Pleasant," I said.

"Good, good," he said.

The hallway was silent. A pair of third years darted between us, nearly tripping each other. We went down another flight of steps and suddenly merged with the Ravenclaw crowd, the stream of breakfasters, intent upon the Great Hall.

It wasn't until we reached the entrance hall that we all streamed in with Slytherins and Hufflepuffs alike. James Potter wound through the crowd like he owned everyone in front of him. They all sort of parted to let him go through, and I started to wonder if perhaps he had some sort of spell cast around him that pushed others out of his path without them knowing. I followed lithely in his wake, preferring to reap the benefits of his James Potterness -there was no other way to put it—than to have to scrabble through the crowd, to eventually reach the Gryffindor table.

The Gryffindor table was sparsely occupied. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were the notable early risers of the school, and most of my Gryffindor friends were lucky if they got breakfast at all some days—particularly Mondays. I had always been a bit of a morning person, and I was convinced that James Potter could keep himself up for hours on end with no problem. He sat at one end of the table, and it was either sit alone, sit near him, or make friends with some of the second years. So I opted for his company, knowing our friends would all mush together in a seventh year clump anyway when they finally came down the stairs.

We were joined slowly by some friends, and I already had cornflakes and pumpkin juice in front of me, as well as a few pieces of toast. James was attacking Canadian Bacon with blunt force when My friends began to fill up the bench next to and across from me. James's friends appeared too, each one getting their own plates of their preferred breakfast food.

Everyone was tired and lethargic. When the mail came, most of us just entertained ourselves with newspapers and packages of forgotten items from home.

"Appleby Arrows are first in the league," James said disgustedly, slamming the _Prophet _down.

And those were the only real words spoken at that breakfast.

-CD-

James:

She needed to not walk so close to me. Or maybe it was my fault. Maybe she was magnetic. She smelled like vanilla. And clean. Like soap. Good soap though, not the really strong stuff, or the old lady stuff. Good soap. Damn her.

She spat off the password to the headmaster's office, heading up to the office. I kept my distance from her on the stairs, looking pointedly at the ceiling and whistling to myself.

Professor Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, a saucer and tea cup sitting at his right hand while he read the _Daily Prophet. _All that could be seen over the top of the paper was his pointed hat, and his fingers, of course, curled around the edges. They were old, but for a man encroaching steadily on age one hundred—according to the rumor mill, he was about ninety-six at this point—he looked fairly unwrinkled.

He folded up his paper.

"Appleby Arrows! First in the league," he said, clicking his tongue. I raised an eyebrow and heard Lily click her tongue, though presumably not at Quidditch statistics.

"I know sir," I said. "That's what I said… shame isn't it?"

"I was rather hoping that the Ballycastle Bats might take an early lead," Dumbledore said gravely. "But alas, I suppose there are more important things in life that Quidditch rankings. Have a seat, won't you?"

We both sat in front of his desk as he dunked a scone in his tea, beaming at us over his half-moon spectacles.

"What a pair," he said, musing.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably. The man never blinked.

"I must tell you I had quite a difficult time deciding who to appoint this year. Well… to be frank, the only hard decision was Head Boy. I've had you, Miss Evans, marked for this position since about your third year, but that's a story for another time. Mr. Potter, however, the choice was much harder. I have a long list of worthy seventh year boys, who could easily handle this position. Frank Longbottom, Remus Lupin, to name two. Friends of yours, I know. They were my front runners. But something didn't sit right with those ideas.

"And so I thought to myself, who else? And your name popped into my head. Shocking as it is, I know."

I wasn't sure if this conversation was meant to insult me or commend me.

"But then I was thinking, truly, there have been so few minds like yours to enter this school, James Potter. Exceedingly bright in a multitude of ways, firstly in classroom work, followed particularly closely by your work on the Quidditch field as captain… and then of course your talent for rule-breaking. I have only begun to imagine what you and your friends get up to when you aren't caught…

"And I must say that after a certain confrontation down by the lake after one of your OWL exams fifth year, you certainly have shaped up in regards to your bad habits. Your fun in the hallway rarely involves innocent bystanders, and has branched in a more positive direction, mostly affecting those students who, if I do say so myself, deserve it.

"And that lead me to thinking—all this in the course of an afternoon in late June, of course—what would you be capable of if I gave you power? A rational side of me was questioning whether a troublemaker like yourself would be able to behave himself with such an extensive power in his grasp. I'm sure that's a question that many of my staff, and probably Miss Evans here, have asked.

"But yet I sent the letter to you anyway," he said, almost musing.

Lily's forehead was knitted together, definitely trying to follow the lunacy of our headmaster as much as I was.

"But you have to understand—both of you, though I think one of you already has a very firm grasp on this—there are responsibilities and rules that come with this position. The title Head Boy is not just a name you can use to give people you don't like detentions. And so I expect that you will uphold these expectations that I have or I will have no problem taking your badge and handing it off to… I think you call him… Moony?"

I nodded. "I understand sir."

"Wonderful," he said, clapping his hands together once. "I think we will have quite the pleasant year here at Hogwarts. Seventh year. You have grown up. What, remind me, are your plans for next year?"

"I would like to be an auror," I said.

"I would… too," Lily said, casting me a look. She probably thought I wanted to be a Quidditch player.

"Ah yes. That's right. Though James, I was under the impression that you didn't quite need a job?" the professor said.

I shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not sure yet, Professor."

He sensed my discomfort instantly and smiled. "Yes, we'll see, I suppose. Now I suggest you two head to your first classes. Will you need a note? I believe you'll be going to Potions?"

"Professor Slughorn will take my word," Lily said.

"Of course," he said, smiling brightly.

"Thank you, sir," I said, getting up and heading toward the door. Lily rose more slowly.

"Good luck with him, Miss Evans, I trust you will do this job well," Professor Dumbledore said kindly.

I laughed a little and held the door open for Evans as she passed by me.

"Auror huh?" I said as we started down the stairs.

"I'm not actually sure," she said. "It seems the best. Incorporates a lot of my interests, you know?"

"Yes," I said.

"But what about you? Why wouldn't you need a job?"

"That's a long story,' I said. "I might not need to work right at the beginning…"

"But don't you want a higher education of sorts?" she wondered.

"I'm not sure," I said. Couldn't she see that this was an awkward and uncomfortable topic for me. I continued gruffly, "Come on, let's just get to potions all right?"

"Right," she said softly. We headed down the stairs in the direction of Professor Slughorn's classroom. I cleared my throat and started to whistle again, mostly because I knew it annoyed her, and at that moment, I didn't actually care about that


	3. A Summer Wedding

**_A/N: Hey everyone... I'm posting frequently just to get this story off the ground... but today is my last day off and so the frequency is going to decline. Enjoy!_**

Chapter 3:

Lily:

"Miss Evans, Miss Evans!" Professor Slughorn said excitedly as Potter and I slipped into the dungeons. The rest of the class whipped their heads around. Clearly my entrance was a reason to interrupt all of class.

"Hello, Professor," I said, trying to keep my frustration with the squashy old man I knew and well, somewhere deep down inside, truly loved as a Professor.

"Did you have a wonderful summer? There are seats there in the back for you and Mr. Potter," he instructed.

James and I dropped into the seats he instructed.

"I had a delightful summer, sir," I said as he moved as briskly as a relatively portly aging man could up between the desks to stand at the corner of mine. The entire class was still watching us. "I trust yours was pleasant too?"

"Of course, of course," he said cheerily. "My dear, my dear, we will have to catch up!"

"Perhaps after class, Professor?" I said as, up front, Emmeline and Alice were snickering behind their hands at my situation.

"Of course!" he said. "Right, class, where was I?"

He turned back to the front and began in that direction. A certain Slytherin caught my eye. Severus Snape. I would say he once was my best friend, but no longer fell into that category and was no more worth for that title than he was for the position of top in the potions class, which I had wrenched, perhaps with favoritism on my side… but still, it was wrenched. I returned his pit of stare, until he turned around and faced front.

James pulled out his potion book and stuck a Quidditch magazine in it.

"Pay attention," I hissed.

"I already know what he's talking about," he snapped back, relaxing in his chair and knocking it onto its back legs.

"No you don't, we haven't learned this before," I snapped.

"Evans, just because you're a potions goddess doesn't mean we're all daft," he returned, turning the page in the magazine to an article about the Chudley Canons.

I rolled my eyes and, even though I knew what Professor Slughorn was talking about, I got out one of my notebooks, and began to take notes.

-CD-

Lily:

"Lily," Severus's voice sounded behind me, causing me to turn away from my friends.

"Just ignore him," Emmeline suggested, grabbing me by the upper arm and trying to drag me away.

"No," I said, shrugging her off. "I can talk to him. It's okay."

Sev stepped to one side of the corridor, pushing his too-long hair out of his eyes. He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking at my shoes, not at me. This was how all of our conversations had gone since he called me a mudblood fifth year. He talked to my shoes. I talked to his somewhat pimply forehead.

"How was your summer?" he asked.

"Pleasant. You?" I returned cordially.

"Good," he said. "I mean.. .well, not really but I won't trouble you."

Two years ago, I would've begged him to recount the hardships of his summer. Two years ago, I would've been the one who he talked to on the phone at night while his parents fought. It was easy for us to talk, with his dad being a muggle and my parents both as well. I would hang out with him and we'd talk about all sorts of stuff. He was my best friend. Now he was just the Slytherin that hung out with the young people and let them drag him down.

"Mm," was all I said this time.

"I've missed you," he said.

"Severus, please," I said. "Can we not go back to this."

"Why can't we be friends again, Lily?" he wondered, still having his conversation with my feet.

"You can't even look at me. Some friendship that would be," I said. "Besides, I don't like the people you hang out with. I think they're bad, and I don't want to be involved in that, even if it is just through a connection with you."

"I don't like the friends you hang out with either," he snapped. "I saw you and the wonderful Mr. Potter sitting back there chitchatting and teasing each other and getting along _fine _all through class, Lily. I thought you hated him.'

"I do!" I insisted.

"Then why do you talk to him?" he demanded.

"Because I have to. He's Gryffindor, I'm Gryffindor. He's Head Boy, I'm Head Girl…" I said, shrugging. "We have to…"

"You don't need to _hang out _with him, be his friend," he hissed.

"I'm _not _hanging out with him. I'm not his _friend…" _I said, my voice rising in angry octaves.

"Lily?" James's voice echoed at the exactly wrong time from behind me. Sev's eyes napped up, and he narrowed them.

"Right," he said scathingly. "Run along and play with your perfect little friend."

"Severus," I said.

"No I understand it," he said. "You don't have time for people who would actually be there for you."

"Leave me alone," I shouted after him.

"Easily!" he replied with a sneer.

"Why do you bother with him?" James wondered.

"You wouldn't understand," I replied, shoving past him and down the corridor to go outside of Herbology.

He caught up with me.

"Evans—" he said.

"Shut up! You can leave me alone too, okay? I will _never _go out with you!" I practically roared, certainly drawing a bit of attention from a group of very small, and I assumed first year, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws on their way to their first ever potions class.

James stopped walking then, falling back a step. I just ducked my head and continued forward, catching up with my friends just as they were leaving through the front doors to go out on the grounds.

-CD-

James:

"I see you have found your way quickly into her heart," Padfoot commented, swinging his bag around on his arm as we plodded down to her.

"Oh yes," I said. "We're getting married in the summer, didn't I tell you?" I aimed a kick at him with my foot, but he dodged.

"Better check your crystal ball again, Prongs," Moony said, shaking his head. "I think it's broken."

Wormtail giggled, and I aimed a kick for him instead of Remus. Mistake, of course, because while Moony would have been fully capable of dodging my foot, it collided with the back of Peter's leg, knocking him on my face.

"You're so kind James," Moony said as I bent down to help Peter get his face out of the mud.

"I could've kicked you," I pointed out.

He shrugged as we neared the greenhouse, where the seventh year Herbology NEWT students were clustered.

Lily shot me a glare from where she was standing with her friends.

"Oh yes, a wedding in July," Padfoot crooned.

"Shut up," I said, leaning against the glass of the greenhouse. Padfoot grinned, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"Tell you what," he said. "I'll marry you, if you'd like Jamie."

"Don't make me hex you,' I said. "I will you know. And I'll thoroughly enjoy it."

"Temper, temper," he said. "Tut, tut."

I waved my wand, which he hadn't seen me drawn and it shocked him in the chest.

"Oh Merlin," he said, jumping backwards and nearly bashing his head through the glass of the greenhouse."Fine then. If you want a duel, Potter, you've got a duel."

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Lily's voice pierced the air. "You have got to be kidding me!"

Sirius was just about to curse me when Professor Pasto puttered his way out of the greenhouse, wheezing. For a man that worked with plants, he was allergic to basically everything. I was fairly certain it was mostly allergies to things like grass and goldenrod that actually triggered his nasal attacks and sneezing fits. But definitely grass. And so the only time his allergies relented was the winter, when all of the grass was under a thick blanket of snow. Even then, however, he was a sniveling mess, constantly afflicted with some sort of head cold or other contagious disease of sorts.

"Now, now, boys," he said hoarsely, with very little authority. "The school year has barely begun! Let's not go hexing each other quite yet."

Padfoot grinned and tucked his wand away, crossing his arms instead. I grinned back at him.

"Hello, everyone. I'm hoping that you all had a wonderful summer. "Now if you'd all come inside and get into partners at each station? Yes thank you."

Padfoot and I forced Moony and Wormtail into one group together, and took our own station, conveniently across from Emmline and Lily, the two of whom gave us a pair of identical death glares. I knew Padfoot had a very insatiable crush—or as he would say "thing"—for Emmeline. He liked blondes quite a bit, and she was tall and thin—taller than Evans, but not thinner, definitely. Evans was… well honestly drop dead gorgeous. But how did one go about saying that to her? Especially since she probably would find a way to take offense to it. Just my guess.

"Close your mouth," Emmeline suggested to me. "You're drooling."

Padfoot reached over and shut my jaw, smirking. Evans cleared her throat.

"Let's listen to the professor, shall we?" she asked.

-CD-

James:

"Free periods are for studying," Moony said, but even he was half-hearted.

"Oh yes, study, study," I said, relaxing on the grass by the lake. "But that's for when we actually have homework, Moony. Not when our free period is the last period of the day, it's really sunny and very… not good for studying."

"We do have homework," Wormtail said.

"Oh right," Padfoot said. "Because we're NEWT students."

"But that doesn't mean we have to the homework now," I said.

"Look over there," Padfoot instructed, pointing along the bank. Lily and her girlfriends were all stripping off their stockings and knee highs to dip their toes in the shallows of the Black Lake. I sighed, watching Evans. She had her shirt untucked, tie hanging loosely. She laughed as Alice tried to kick a spray of water at her.

"We're going to need to get him a bucket," Moony said.

"What do you mean?" I demanded. I knew they were talking about me.

"We're going to attach it around your neck so that every time you drool like that, instead of getting all over your clothes, the drool just runs right into the bucket. Or perhaps we could just solve this problem with a bib… Though judging by the sheer volume of drool, we'd need to change that every period at least to keep it from leaking through onto your robes."

I threw a rock at him.

"Maybe it's the heat," Padfoot suggested. "he seems more obsessed than usual."

"Do you have any idea how _smart _she is?" I mused, leaning back on the grass after tearing my eyes away from her.

"Yes, I do actually," Moony said. "I'm actually friends with her, if you'd recall."

"Notice how his face flickers with jealously," Padfoot pointed out. "We need to get you out of the heat, mate."

I yawned, putting my hands behind my head. From where I was, I could see the hoops of the Quidditch pitch. I couldn't wait to hold trials, and get out there, make my team, take the cup.

"He's having daydreams now," Sirius said. "We ought to let him alone."

"I wouldn't want to be in that head," Wormtail commented.

"Yeah you would, Wormy," Padfoot said.

"Why?"

"James's daydream is getting more action than you ever will," Padfoot said thoughtfully.

"You're really mean to him," I commented.

"It's okay," Wormtail said.

"You should be more assertive," Moony commented, turning the page in his book.

Sirius yawned collapsing on his back next to me. Remus was reclined on his side, reaching his book casually. Only Peter remained fully upright, lost in his thoughts.

"We pick on your because you take it like a man," I informed him.

He couldn't help but grin at that.


	4. Harem, Gaggle, Take Your Pick

**_A/N: I apologize for the slight lack of dialogue in the second half of this chapter. It's for the greater good... (now who do I sound like? XD)_**

Chapter 4.

Lily:

"Where are you headed, Evans?" Potter asked me as the first week of school drew to a close. He stood by the bulletin board in the common room, examining a piece of paper in his hands.

"Slug Club," I replied, crossing my arms delicately. "Professor Slughorn asked me to come early so we could… catch up."

"I think that man fancies you," he said idly.

"And yet, if he did, it would be significantly less unnerving than your infatuation with me," I said.

He took that as a low blow, frowning. He turned back to the board, tapping his wand to the parchment, which proceeded to pin itself front and center.

"What are you advertizing?" I wondered, hoping it was nothing that would corrupt the minds of the Gryffindor youth any more than the mere presence of James and his friends already would.

"Quidditch trials," he said. "We're in for a good season."

"Oh," I said, rolling my eyes. "Quidditch."

"You ought to try out," he said.

"No thank you," I replied tartly. "I don't care for the sport all that much."

"Are you any good at flying?" he wondered.

I snorted. "What sort of question is that?"

"Well there's a difference between disliking Quidditch because you just don't enjoy the sport in general, or disliking it because you're rubbish at flying. With the second, you aren't really giving the sport a chance…"

I shook my head. "I'm fine at flying."

"Show me sometime," he said. "Show me that you really just hate Quidditch."

"You're keeping me from my party," I said heatedly, turning on my heel and heading toward the portrait hole.

I would have to say that being a Muggle-born witch had its disadvantages. For one thing, it meant I lived in a fully Muggle area, thus making my life harder, especially as I came of age. On top of that, it meant that honing any flying skills in my bones was certifiably impossible. I couldn't just waltz out into the backyard and clime astride a broomstick for practice.

So yes, I was rubbish at flying. It was perhaps the only thing in the magical world that truly perplexed me. But I would never tell James Potter that. I didn't want him to know that he was right. My biggest distaste for the sport Quidditch stemmed from jealousy at the talent of those witches and wizards who somehow, miraculously, never slipped off the end.

I entered Professor Slughorn's office as he was waving plates over to the table where he would host the entirety of the Slug Club, plus its new prospective members. I would never say that I approved of the Slug Club, or its blatant favoritism. I didn't quite. Professor Slughorn did some things in ways that I would rather he just didn't. But he was kind at heart, a nice old man, with good intentions, albeit combined with intentions that would mostly just raise him to a higher level… but still.

"Hello, my dear," he said. "Glad you could make it."

"Do you need help setting up, Professor?" I wondered, drawing my wand from a pocket in my robes.

"Yes that would be lovely," he said, turning to smile at me. "Sad we haven't gotten to catch up until now. What exciting things did you do in the Muggle world this summer?"

"My parents took my older sister and me to the southern coast of France for three weeks,' I said. "They wanted to drag Petunia away from her fiance, Vernon. They'd much rather the two of them didn't end up together, and so they were attempting to demonstrate the wonder that is, apparently, Frenchmen, to her. She was hardly fazed, and spent her days on the telephone, talking to him from the hotel room, rubbing aloe on her sunburn."

He chortled. "She sounds like a fun girl."

"Oh yes, Petunia is a riot," I said, sighing. "Somewhat of a goody-two-shoes."

"She's your sister, so that doesn't surprise me," he said.

"Believe me," I said, waving my wand so that goblets clinked over to the tables, landing gently by each place setting. "If you think I like to play by the rules, you should meet her. We'd sit down to play a game when we were little and she would read all of the rules. Sometimes she had them memorized. It was usually 'Mummy says this, and Daddy says that, and Mummy said not to, Lily.'"

"You don't sound as if you get along with her," Professor Slughorn said wisely.

"Our relationship has been rocky since I started school," I said. "She was… and this sounds horrible… slightly jealous at first, that I was the witch, and she wasn't. She didn't think it was fair that I got the talent and she didn't. I understand, I suppose. I would be jealous too… but it hasn't really been okay since."

"Ah yes," he said. "I can see how that would happen. That's too bad.'

"Now she acts as if it's an affliction," I said. "And I just ignore her. It's easier that way."

"Well how was _your _French vacation?" he wondered.

"It was wonderful," I said. "I love the sun…"

He smiled and nodded. "Of course. So do I. I think I'll retire in France. Perhaps in the countryside."

"It's a beautiful country," I agreed. "We went to vineyards and toured around Paris as well, but most of our time was spent on the beaches."

There was a knock on the door, and a pair of hesitant first years hovered at the doorframe, looking carefully into the room. One was a Ravenclaw girl and the other a Gryffindor boy I had met already.

"Come in, come in!" Professor Slughorn said excitedly, flourishing to the table. "Early arrivals get the first choice of seat!"

The two of them sat on the opposite side of the table from where Professor Slughorn's padded, comfortable chair was.

-CD-

James:

A corkscrew through the air, as the wind rushed past me. I rolled over, clinging to the handle of the broom, letting the sky become my focus, the front of my vision. Flipping back over, I shot toward the goal post, imaging a quaffle under my arm, without thinking. I wondered how my half-pitch shot would be this year.

I sighed heftily, sitting upright on my broom, hovering at a standstill over the massive, sweeping green pitch. I was comfortable here, floating on the wind.

It was a nice Friday evening, the sort that I lived for at Hogwarts. Quidditch conditions were sublime, and the wind was out of the west, but nothing too heavy. The sun hung low and lethargic in the sky, drooping slowly, a sinking fuzzy peach head, still warming the land. Definitely perfect Quidditch conditions.

Or at least flying conditions. Without a fully established team, I was left on my own to the abandoned pitch. No one else had my idea, despite the wonderful weather. My friends, well, none of them were real big fliers, despite the fact that, if I fell into desperate need, I could force Padfoot to play chaser with me. They were relaxing on the lawn, and I was convinced that Sirius was asleep, Peter bored senseless, and Remus perusing his new book selection for the day, a tired expression on his face.

They were just one of the many clumps of students dotting the lawn, exhausted after a tough first week of school. Hesitant first years were still nervous about trying to find a spot on the grass, too afraid of taking the spot of some cruel older kids. Half the seventh years were studying, and the other half napping, or chitchatting idly. Unless they were me. In which case, I was enjoying my time up above the pitch, with no interruptions, because it would seem they were all too tired to join me.

I abandoned the pitch, taking off to fly over the lake. Evans would call me a show off for this, but she couldn't see me from old Sluggy's office, on the other side of the castle. I wasn't showing off. I was just enjoying myself. I liked flying over the lake. The breezes were better there, and I could go so low that the tips of my trainers splashed through the very top layer of the silvery gold water.

I loved flying. It made me feel good to be up there. I was good at it, and happy there. Perhaps I was happy because I was good at it. I would never really be able to tell, because I would never experience it another way. If I had it my way, I'd fly the entire time. I'd permanently live astride a broomstick. I felt the most comfortable up there.

People would laugh if I actually said that out loud. Padfoot would crack a joke, saying "Prongs? Uncomfortable? He could walk down the hallway in his skivvies and not be uncomfortable." Something like that. I'd gotten a reputation of being the most carefree, go with the flow, come what may, I am who I am sort of person that ever graced Hogwarts' hallowed halls.

I reached down with one hand and ran in through the water of the lake, before pulling up into an almost ninety degree climb to the sky.

-CD-

James:

James Potter, have your pick of women.

Moony called them my gaggle. Padfoot called them my harem A group of girls that had constantly trailed after me since somewhere in my fourth year. Usually it was a cluster from a year above, and a year below, and then my year as well. It happened when I earned the title of Quidditch captain, something generally unheard of for a fourth year, and when I started to hone my Quidditch skills and become the most talented athlete in the school.

They were waiting when I landed to ambush me from where I was when I came out of the Quidditch locker rooms.

The collection had attracted a few fifth years this year, small fifteen-year-old girls, still getting over their acne problems and experimenting with make-up. Charming.

"James," a charming Ravenclaw girl I had come to know over the past three years, chirruped, catching me by the arm. Her name was Asphodel, and she was… perhaps one of the most annoying girls I'd ever met. I wanted her to be a little less bothersome.

It was because of girls like her that I had my reputation. According to ninety-six percent of Hogwarts I was a—and I quote the mouth of Lily's friend Alice—"A player." I didn't even really get that ,or where it came from, and where that phrase had truly been coined, but it was a title that seemed to stick.

Apparently I used girls. I took them on dates, and—this time to quote one Bertha Jorkins—"Had my way with them." Not as if she knew from experience. I supposed it all came from my regular habit of taking a different girl to every Hogsmeade trip. Sirius said I had it made. A different one asked me every week. And I said yes to all of them. Not because I wanted to _have my way with them _but because I had a really hard time crushing them and saying no. It was genuinely the truth.

Not that anyone believed me, but it was true. The only ones I said no to were the really young ones, or the ones my mates had dated. Finding it an opportune moment for pulling the "brothers" card, I declined cordially.

However, somehow, despite never continuing the relationship with any one of them, I still had the reputation of basically shagging every single one. Some of them actually bragged about it to their friends. They were like blokes in that sense, only twice as vicious and conniving.

And so I blamed them for the reputation that I had, which had presented itself in full force to Lily Evans. Which thus became stockpiled with everything else she hated about me. I knew, from a reliable source—from Frank, who got it from Alice, who heard it from Evans—that she believed the only reason I wanted to date her was because she was the only girl who had ever said no, who had ever turned her nose up at me.

She was sort of right.


	5. Flower With Thorns and Not a Lily

**_A/N: I just wanted to point out that I have looked over these chapters as best as I can... however, I've had less time to edit them than my others, because I'm not even close to finished with writing this fic, so my editing is less intense and less careful (even my good editing is usually pretty bad for myself). So bear with me, and I apologize for tiny things. If there is anything MAJOR that my mind slips over completely, let me know. _**

Chapter 5

Lily:

The library was joyfully quiet. Despite having been yelled at in the past for taking up a table all for myself, I had three books open in front of me to write a Defense Essay for the new Professor Little. We had a new professor for that class every year. They always left for some reason or another.

My quill scratched at the parchment, which was already twice the requested length. Professor Little hadn't produced a maximum length, which was, perhaps, his mistake. I knew that Remus and I were two that always took it upon ourselves to write as much as possible, so much so that stringent limitations had been placed on… well us. We had since developed a habit of halving the old size of our handwriting, in order to truly not decrease the amount that we were allowed to write.

Speaking of my werewolf friend, he pulled out a chair on the other side of my table, just as my quill tickled my nose and caused me to sneeze.

"Bless you," he said, leaning back in his chair.

"Thank you," I said, smiling up at him. I looked at my completed essay, tapped it with my wand, and it rolled up.

"Was that essay too bad?" he wondered.

"Hardly," I said. "You can knock it off in hour, at the most. Use these though." I waved my wand, and the three books closed and stacked on top of each other.

"Good," he said. 'I'll check these out and loan them to James and Sirius when they finally get around to writing this essay. And somehow, they'll still end up with more information and a better essay than mine for each of them."

"I don't get it," I said sadly.

"I don't either," he said. "I would swear, I don't get how they do it. They function on four hours of sleep and build up homework, and yet, they completely succeed at everything."

I shrugged. "Some people are just naturally smart."

He nodded his agreement. "How has your school year been, Lily?"

"The first week of it wasn't too terrible," I replied, smiling brightly.

"Too terrible, eh?" he questioned.

"Your dear friend hasn't bothered me too much quite yet," I said.

"Prongs is harmless," he said.

"Those stupid names," I said. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs… what are they for? I mean, I understand yours, I suppose, but it's sort of cruel joke, in my opinion. I suppose if you don't mind it…"

"They like to joke," he said, shrugging again. "it's nice that they don't care, and they like to make it clear that I'm always their friend, despite my… furry little problem."

I lauighed. "But where are the other names?"

"I don't know," he said. "Patronuses, mostly."

He shifted uncomfortably, and I narrowed my eyes.

"Right," I said.

"You should give James a chance," he said.

"Remus, we've been through this before," I complained, stuffing the stopper into my inkbottle. He drew the stack of books closer to him, resting his arms on top of them.

"I realize, I realize," he said. "But hear me out, Lils, really."

I made a speculative face. "There is nothing you can say that you haven't already said to me before."

"But come on," he said.

"And nothing you can say that will outweigh all of the horrible stuff I've heard about him," I pointed out, running my quill through my fingers.

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear," he suggested.

"But if it isn't true, how come everyone says it?" I wondered.

"It's called a rumor, Lily, ever heard of it?" he said, growing impatient. "Who are you going to believe? Me, your friend? Or that gaggle of stalking mad goose girls that follow him everywhere and can't tolerate the fact that he would choose you over any one of them?"

"Remus," I said. "Before you're my friend, you're his friend. I know that."

"Lily," he said. "Really?"

"Yes," I said.

"Merlin are you stubborn," he said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not the stubborn one. It's Potter who is the stubborn one," I said. "He will not relent."

"Neither will you," he said. "You're both exceedingly stubborn. And it's making all of your friends miserable."

"Thanks," I said, stuffing my things into my bag. "Come on. It's dinnertime. You should check those books out."

I waited with him while Madam Pince, the stern librarian, checked out his books for him and watched with hawk eyes as he tucked them into his bag, making sure that he treated them with the utmost care and wasn't just jostling and slamming them around.

We walked down to the Great Hall together sitting on opposite sides of the Gryffindor table, in our usual clump of seventh years. Mostly girls on one side, guys on the other, but Alice on their side so she could practically sit on Frank's lap while we all had our pot roast, gravy and mashed potatoes.

I looked over at James Potter, as he was explaining something to Marlene about Quidditch—she played as his keeper, or had since fifth year. He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair, making it stick up again, making it look windswept.

-CD-

James:

I could feel her watching me. It was weird, but I knew it was her before I looked up. I lifted my head in her direction, and found myself encountering, full force, the power of her amazing green eyes. She looked away quickly, leading me to believe, easily, that she didn't want me to see her looking at me. I grinned quietly to myself, turning to my plate as I made a moat of gravy around my mountain of mashed potatoes and beef.

"What are you grinning about, Prongs?" Padfoot demanded, leaning over.

"Nothing, nothing," I replied, swirling a stream a peas through the gravy as well, mixing gravy and butter on them.

"Right…" he said, laughing a little. "I think I know what it is. I think it begins with and L and ends with an Ilyevans. Am I right?"

"You're cocky and obnoxious," I said. "I don't know about right.'

"James!" Asphodel's voice cut through the air.

I'd ducked away from her before she could get out any real questions on Friday, claiming that I desperately had to get to the library, having just remembered an important book I needed for a Potions essay, and I couldn't let anyone else take it out before me. She offered to accompany me, but I managed to get away.

"Let me disappear into the floorboards, eh?" I said to Padfoot, turning to greet the head of my cult following.

"James, I was wondering if you would like to go to Hogsmeade with me," Asphodel stated sweetly, actually managing to sit on my lap. I didn't know what she was playing at, but it took all of my common decency not to shove her off onto the floor. I grinned to myself, somewhat sadistically, at the image of her toppling onto the hard floor, perhaps cracking her head open in a torrent of blood and—

Lily's snort from down the table jerked me out of my imagination.

"I don't think so," I said to Asphodel. It had long since become a far cry from diplomatic with her. I basically told her no every other week, and stopped coming up with reasons.

"Oh come on," she said. "Who else would you be going with?"

"I don't know…" I said. Not you. Just not you.

"Then you should go with me," she said. "Come on, James."

"Look, Asphodel," Padfoot interjected. "I really hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but what James is trying to say is that he would rather go with _anyone _but you. He would rather wander alone through Hogsmeade like a homeless man than go with you."

Asphodel gave him an appalled look, and Wormtail and Moony were having a very hard time maintaining their composure. She stood up and didn't mind stomping on my foot as she huffed back to the Ravenclaw table.

"That was really mean," Lily told Sirius.

"Yes, I know," he said, shaking his head. "But someone had to break the truth to the poor girl. Her love is starting to become unhealthy."

"Love?" Evans said. "You're kidding me right? They know he's talented and they know he has money, and that's why they like him. Not because he's an actually genuine human being. They're blinded."

"And Evans," I said. "Let me know how you discovered whether or not I'm a genuine human being. But you seem to have discovered it. So let me know how."

The entire section of the table was quiet.

I'd never actually had an argument with Evans. More or less, she got into an argument with me, and I took her side, and she got into an argument with me for taking her side. What kind of girl gets mad at a man for taking her side, I ask you?

Oh right. Lily Bloody Evans. Perhaps the most difficult female specimen in the world, the unattainable, beautiful, and truthfully, stressful.

"You're… amazing," I told her. "And I meant that in a bad way."

She stared, eyebrows exponentially higher than usual. Finally. She was surprised.

"Well you're a pompous arse," she replied tersely. "You think nothing of anyone but yourself. You're a show-off."

"You're a know-it-all," I said.

"You use women," she accused.

"There you go again!" I said. "Know-it-all. Can't you even accept that you might not know what you're talking about for once?"

"Tell that to half the school!"

"Half of the school doesn't know what they're talking about!" I returned.

"Calm down!" Emmeline said. "You two are causing a scene, I hope you know."

The entirety of the Gryffindor table was staring at us. A few students at the neighboring tables, not too far from where we were sitting, had turned to stare over their shoulders as well.

I cleared my throat. "I'm going to give up soon."

"Good!" she yelled.

I was also lying.

-CD-

James:

"It's bloody annoying, that's what it is," I heard Padfoot grumbled.

"We should figure out how to get them together," Emmeline's voice replied.

"It's like… as Alice said, you can cut the sexual tension between them with a knife. Or perhaps a mild to weak severing charm," he replied.

"He's obsessed and she's unwilling to admit that she finds him mildly attractive and thus bolsters herself with feelings of hatred—or at least convincing herself of feelings of hatred," Emmeline said. "But she wouldn't believe it if we all went up to her and said it. She'd just laugh. She doesn't want to admit she likes him, because she doesn't trust him, and she thinks he's an arrogant prat."

"So she likes him? But she doesn't want to because she is resolute in seeing him as an arsehole?"

"Exactly," Emmeline said. "Which means, honestly, he's fucked at this point, because when Lily gets herself sold on an idea, it tends to stick. It took her seven years to come this far. It's going to take seven to fourteen more to get on to the next step. She's not going to just suddenly change her mind."

"But he's going to try very hard to get her to," Padfoot said.

"We need to figure out how to keep ourselves from suffering," Emmeline said.

"They just need to figure out how to be together," Padfoot grumbled.

I pulled the dormitory open the rest of the way, pretending I hadn't been there the entire time.

"Hey, Padfoot, Emmeline," I said casually, heading over to my bed. Sirius and Emmeline looked at each other. Ignoring them, I bent down and grabbed my cloak and the map the four of us mad.

"Mind if I take this?" I asked.

"Nope, go ahead," Padfoot said.

"What is that?" I heard Emmeline ask as I headed back out the door.

"Extra parchment," Padfoot lied, yawning.


	6. A Friend of the Moon

_**A/N: What does this fic's title have to do with the fic? Great question, great question. Wait three chapters. You'll see. there are actually two lists, both made by Lily Evans and one a little more evil than the other. **_

Chapter 6

James:

As usual, fifty percent miserable, fifty percent talented. It wasn't too bad to watch them, running drills with them. Marlene was the next one instated on my team, getting her usual keeper position. I valued her input quite a bit in terms of how this all was going to go, because I couldn't rightly view all people at once. A talented shot might be rubbish at flying techniques—in fact, such a case occurred. I was almost going to give a chasing position to a third year boy, but then Marlene informed me quickly that he nearly fell of his broom at the other end of the pitch while I was watching two second years make miserable attempts at being beaters. He could barely hand a simple figure eight. I told him to try for next year, learn how to fly coordinatedly.

All of my friends were watching for the stands, including Evans, who was reading something instead of actually watching. Emmeline and Sirius kept putting their heads together, and I could tell they were plotting against me and Lily. Though I didn't quite get what my own problem with this scheming was, but I had one. The fact that they thought they knew everything—and not in an Evans sort of way, but a much more annoying way—generally bothered me.

They could plot all they wanted. I doubted Lily would go along with any of their plans. She had her head screwed on well enough to know when people were meddling uncontrollably. Just as I could tell from this angle above the stands that they were scheming together.

I saw Emmeline throw her head back and laugh at something Padfoot said. If anything good came from this plotting it would probably be a relationship between the two of them, which was well past do. They certainly flirted enough, and as much as she _claimed _not to like him, her insistence was far less resolute than Evans's insistence that she didn't like me.

I turned back to my Quidditch trials, reminding myself that there were more important matters on hand at this point.

By the end of the trial session, one of my beaters for last year was reinstated as well, and a fourth year and sixth year took the last chasing positions, a fifth year for my other beater, and a third year girl for my final position of seeker. All in all a decent enough team, and I was looking for a good season.

-CD-

Lily:

Remus sat down next to me in the stands.

"How're the trials going?" he wondered.

"I don't know, I'm not really watching," I said.

"I can see that," he said. "Why not?"

"Not exactly my cup of tea," I said.

"Why are you up here then?" he wondered.

"Breeze is nice," I murmured.

He laughed loudly, shaking his head.

He looked a little worse for wear, but I supposed that was expected. I'd read all about it after all. I was impressed with him. He always impressed me.

As far as I knew, I was the only one outside of the group of his three closest friends, that knew of Remus's condition. I had guessed it, actually. At first I thought he just had somewhat unproductive immune system which caused him frequent illness and disappearance from class, as well as trips to the Hospital Wing.

It took me a while to notice, in third year, how he was disappearing quite regularly every month. Be a nosy, organized, and overly curious individual, I started to jot down the dates of the times he went missing. I found out that they were roughly twenty-eight days apart. On the full moon evening of December that year, I figured it out. Comparing it to an astronomy chart I had, I confirmed my ideas. Every full moon.

Now, I understood that there were things in this world call coincidences. I thoroughly understood that. But there was no way that this was all one big coincidence. Remus looked like he went through his own individual war every single month. Every time the full moon came out. My over-confident third year self had hit the nail on the head. I was shocked no one else had come up with it yet. And then I realized that other people didn't care or dwell on things like I did. Remus was a friend of mine. I was just genuinely curious.

Then the problem arose about confronting him. I didn't exactly know how to do that. While he was one of my best friends, it wasn't as if I could just walk right up to him and ask "Are you a werewolf?" It was mildly offensive, I thought.

I decided not to confront him.

As convenience would have it, opportunity decided to present itself. One day I asked him if he would run an errand for me in Hogsmeade the coming weekend. I had elected to stay behind to turn to an extra credit project for Divination, the most worthless subject ever that had a major impact on my grades—and not for the better. However, I hadn't realized that it was the full moon that weekend, and he was going to be hanging out in the hospital wing after the injuries he inflicted upon himself. He declined, saying he wasn't going to Hogsmeade either. I, still not thinking, asked him why.

But strangely enough he came right out and told me. Well… coming right out implies a slight amount of ease to the whole thing, and that definitely was not what it was. He stumbled around a little bit, fumbling for excuses, before sighing and saying he had something difficult to tell me and he hoped it wouldn't hinder our friendship. I instantly caught on, and said of course it wasn't—as a Muggle-born I hadn't been brought up with the preconceived werewolf beliefs and ingrained prejudices of most of the wizarding world.

When he told me, I figured it was best that I admit to him that I knew. Or at least, that I had guess. He seemed relieved that I had known for a good couple of months, and yet hadn't tried to stop being friends with him. I told him it didn't matter to me. He let me know then that he had told James, Sirius, and Peter all in second year.

In all that time, I'd been Remus's friend. I never considered liking him as more than that, or even dating him. Some people tried to encourage us to do so, though James always paled at the concept, and I was certain Remus, even if he had liked me, Remus would not have betrayed his friend like that. We never looked at each other that way. Sometimes it was just convenient to have a guy friend if you were a girl, and a girl friend if you were a guy. And besides, we were prefects together, and on the same rationality and intelligence level, as well as the same level of arseholish arrogance with identical know-it-all habits.

He grinned to the side at me, looking over the tops of our friends, at the rest of them.

I looked over at James Potter as he floated above the pitch, directing his prospective Quidditch team around as they flew rapidly around the ovular pitch.

And then, as was usual for me, an idea fell right into my head.

-CD-

James:

I sat down in my captain's office, which was beginning its fourth year of belonging to me. I had cataloged a notebook of plays over the years, which I kept under lock and key with a spell that inhibited the use of _Alohamora _in a filing cabinet in the back corner of the office. Or it was on my person. At all times. I was very serious about Quidditch.

My robes hung in here, my name on the back, over the number two. Our seeker was always number one, and the rest of us followed, with the captain taking number two, if he wasn't a seeker. Or at least that was how I managed it. I was very particular about my numbering systems.

I wrote the team roster of the year in the play book, Determined to document, as always. I never screwed around with the sanctity of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Putting the book in its vault, I headed out to join my friends.

"I think you should stop trying to ask Evans out," Padfoot whispered in my ear. "She'll begin to feel neglected, and thus come running."

"I know you and Emmeline are meddling," I hissed under my breath at him.

"So what? We're apparently better at this than you and Evans are," he said, shrugging. "I think it would make everyone's lives easier if you just stopped asking her. Including your own. Your constant begging is starting to grate on her, I believe—"

"I think it was grating on her third year," I pointed out.

"True, true," he said. "But if you just relax a little bit, she'll probably find you a little less repulsive and a little more appealing."

"And by the way," I said. "I wouldn't call it begging."

"What would you call it then?" he wondered.

"A repetitive asking?" I offered.

"How is that different from begging?" he questioned.

"Begging is more whiny. I'm hardly whiny." I glanced at him. "I'm _not _whiny am I? The last thing I need is to look like a little smitten first year girl…"

"I can assure you that is not the problem," he said. "No one is doubting your masculinity, Prongs… but if you are… well we can have a chat about that, but I'd rather not get into detail right now…"  
>"I'm good, thank you," I said, glaring at him and shoving him to the side.<p>

"You scrawny little Potter…" he said. "Do you get obscene amounts of joy in pushing people bigger than you around?"

"Bigger than me?" I questioned. "Padfoot, you have no muscle."

He pulled his t-shirt up and turned to the four girls walking with us. "Ladies, does this look like no muscle to you?"

"When did you get a six pack?" Alice asked boredly.

"Oh right, he didn't," Marlene said.

Padfoot muttered something mildly offensive under his breath and looked away from them.

"I hate women," he said.

Despite being a supposed "heartthrob" of the school, with a reputation equal in length to mine, Sirius had quite a few problems with women. He didn't understand them any better than Ancient Ruins, the only class he had ever managed to completely flunk out of at the end of third year. He almost repeatedly flunked out with women. They approached him due to his good, dark looks, and he made a fool out of himself trying to have a personality to match. Some of his comments, usually attempts to be debonair or interesting, or perhaps—Merlin forbid—funny resulted in the ladies being moderately offended and assuming him to be an arse, a title that they rapidly spread to the rest of the school.

"I hate them too, mate," I said, glancing at Lily as she joked with Marlene about something—I would've actually bet a sack of galleons that it was still about Padfoot, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah well… they need to get over themselves," he said.

"Fat chance," I said.

"Why do you say that?" he questioned.

"Face the facts mate, they're women. They're stubborn. It's in their blood, I think," I said.

"Damn them," he said.

_Next Chapter: "Let's just say if you see me holding James Potter's hand next week, he hasn't slipped me a love potion or Confunded me." _


	7. A Date A Date A Date I Hate

_**A/N: Had a mild panic when I tried to get on this site this morning, to find it temporarily unavailable to me. I worried I would get off my updating cycle... Anyway, hope you enjoy!**_

Chapter 7.

Lily:

The first Hogsmeade weekend dawned slightly brisk, but fell into unseasonably warm quickly. James Potter had a date. She was a thin thing, a sixth year, with thick black hair like his, and a very prominent bone structure to her face. Her name was Emilie or something similar, and she was a Hufflepuff.

That was the least of my concerns. Putting a wrench in my technically crafted, mildly ingenious plan, was a Ravenclaw by the name of Aidan Prophet. He was in my year, and we'd been in classes together since the very beginning of school. I'd long since deemed him a nice kid, the sort of which I could easily welcome into my group of friends if the question arose.

What I didn't count on, however, was him deciding in our seventh year that he had harbored a long-nursed crush for me, filling his eyes with a puppy-dog sort of misery that made it impossible to say no to him when he asked me to Hogsmeade. I said yes, but instantly informed him that I was no more looking for a relationship than I was failing Herbology, and I certainly emphasized the point that this little Hogsmeade excursion was a friendship thing.

Alice and Emmeline, who had already seen me scribbling in my notebook the grand plan to get James Potter to stop bothering me once and for all—I made another list, actually—were wondering if this was all part of my master scheme.

"Well no," I replied hotly as I pulled on my robes and tried to make myself as unpresentable as possible, so Aidan would see I was truly a slob and be thoroughly repulsed. Or so I could only hope.

"You could at least brush your hair for the poor guy," Marlene pointed out.

"What is the master scheme?" Alice wondered.

I shook my head. "Let's just say if you see me holding James Potter's hand next week, he hasn't slipped me love potion or confunded me."

"Reading between the lines," Emmeline said. "I think it's safe to say that she's going to rip his heart out of his chest and stomp on it repeatedly and then perhaps stick it back inside."

I didn't say anything.

"You're cruel," Alice said.

"No, I'm annoyed to the brink of insanity," I declared. "Now I have to go. We have to help the new caretaker check out everyone for Hogsmeade."

"Yeah, well don't be too mean to Aidan. He's a nice kid. Do whatever you want to Potter; at this point he deserves whatever you can dish out," Marlene said.

I grinned and headed out down to the entrance hall. Potter was already waiting comfortably, leaning against a wall.

"Good morning Evans," he said, grinning when I approached. His girlfriend for the day, Emilie, stood next to him, staring at him in absolute awe.

"Morning," I said.

"Lily!" Aidan's voice sounded from behind me. I turned around quickly.

Aidan was walking across the Entrance Hall, hand stuck in the pockets of his robes, but a t-shirt and jeans underneath.

"Good morning," I said kindly.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Well I have to help check out all of the students," I said. "You can go ahead. You don't have to wait."

"No, I'll wait," he said, grinning brightly. When we turned around, James was staring. His jaw had fallen to the floor of the Entrance Hall. It was as if he'd never seen me with a Hogsmeade date before—though when I thought about it, he had a similar expression on his face every single time he saw me with a Hogsmeade date in the past. Like he couldn't believe that I would say no to him, and say yes to other people.

We checked out everyone, and so it happened, Aidan and I were walking in stride with James and Emilie.

"Good morning, Prophet," James said cordially.

"Potter, Emilie," Aidan returned. He was stoic. Like the rest of the school, I was certain he knew of James Potter's long-held affection for me, frustrating as it was. And he didn't seem so happy about it.

We walked as two pairs, a good five or six feet in between James and Emilie and Aidan and I. In the middle of the individual pairs, there was a good foot. Aidan kept trying to close our gap, but I would step nonchalantly to the right each time he tried, drifting away from him, and closer and closer to the edge of the path. It got to the point that if he drifted any closer, I would pointlessly be walking in the grass, having to duck under trees. On the other side of the path, Emilie looked like she would not have minded at all if James elected to hold her hand. However, the pompous boy kept his hands stuffed firmly into the pockets of his robes, refusing to really even look at her. I realized later that if he looked to his right at her, it would be impossible for him to not catch Aidan and I in his view, and he seemed to truly not want to see that.

"Three broomsticks?" Aidan offered as soon as we reached the streets of Hogsmeade.

"Sure," I said, crossing my fingers in my robe pockets that James and Emilie did not follow. I didn't need to have him staring at me, or blatantly looking away for the entire trip.

"Does that sound good to you too?" Emilie asked James.

"Nah," he said. "Let's… have you ever been to the Hog's Head?"

I saw Emilie frown, before heading into the Three Broomsticks after Aidan.

We sat down at a table, and he went to get us a butterbeer each.

"So," he said when we were both sitting down.

"So?" I said.

"What is up with you and Potter?" he wondered. "I think most of Hogwarts has been trying to figure it out since about third year."

I shrugged. "He wants to be more than friends. I don't even want to be friends. It's really nothing.'

"Are you kidding me?" he said, laughing. "The tension during that walk down here? That was nothing?"

I didn't get the impression that he was jealous—just speculative and kind of amused.

"Yeah," I said. "Nothing."

"Oh Merlin, even I don't believe that," he said. "I like you a lot Lily, so I'm going to be frank with you. As much as he pesters you unceasingly, I think you can't help but return a few of Potter's feelings."

I made a face. "Repulsive."

"Yes, it may be," he said. "But I know you said you would come with me to Hogsmeade because you didn't want to say no, and I suppose, hurt my feelings… And I think that somewhere in here, you would rather be here with him. And I'm just saying that as a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no real interest in the matter… well some real interest. I'm not going to deny that I personally like you too…"

I stared at him for a moment.

"Yeah, no," I said, shaking my head.

-CD-

James:

"The Hog's Head?" Emilie said, uncertain as I held the door open for her.

"It's not that bad," I said. "Bring your own glasses and all that, wipe off the seat with a napkin before you sit down, and you're good to go."

She stared.

"Hey, Ab," I said as we walked inside. I saluted the bartender, who was quite fond of my friends and me. He was Dumbledore's brother, but he chose not to share all of that information with everyone else. Padfoot and I deduced it third year. He let us scheme in a room above the bar, next to where he slept, a hefty encourager of all things generally frowned upon by the Hogwarts staff. I imagined that people like Evans would call him an enabler.

"Mr. Prongs," Aberforth replied, returning the salute. I waved my wand to clean off my seat and Emilie's seat, and conjured our own glasses up. Aberforth dropped a dusty pair of butterbeer bottles on our table.

"You really like her, don't you?" Emilie asked as I poured myself a glass of butterbeer.

"Hmm?" I said.

"Lily Evans," she said. "I mean, I'd heard, and I always assumed, based on what everyone said…"

"Not everything the Hogwarts rumor mills spout off is true," I informed her, taking a swig of my butterbeer. It was just as good as the Three Broomsticks' butterbeer.

"I know," she said. "but I think that is. Personally. You can just tell. That and I heard the two of you arguing in the Great Hall. Actually, most of the school has heard you two argue in the Great Hall at some point so far this year."

I looked down embarrassedly. Lily and I, despite trying to avoid each other, had plummeted into a relationship that was mostly the two of us insulting each other in various ways over the breakfast table. Or lunch table. And sometimes dinner. Usually her insults were more heartfelt and better thought out than mine, which tended to be empty and not at all heartfelt. Which always managed to strengthen her arguments, because she sensed easily how halfhearted my snubs were.

"And of course, as we were walking down here," she said. "You couldn't even look at her you were so jealous of Aidan. I heard, again, perhaps, through the ever unreliable rumor mill, that she only went on this date with him because she felt too bad about saying no to him."

I frowned. I wondered if she'd also heard through the rumor mill that I had only accepted her offer for a Hogsmeade trip because I felt bad about saying no to her. I would've been just as happy to go alone with Moony and Wormtail, who were also dateless—Padfoot was going with Emmeline—but no. Emilie caught up with me as I was passing from herbology into the castle for lunch Thursday morning. And then she asked me, and I felt bad about saying no. So I didn't. I said yes. And here we were. I was just going to go on one miserable date with her, pine after Evans and then take a new girl in October.

"I can just tell," Emilie said. "You've liked her forever, right? I mean, that's truly something that is completely true."

"Truly true?" I said.

"Yes," she said, grinning a little. "So do you even want to be here with me? I'm just wondering, because if you do, and you still like her, it's okay. I'll still hang out with you. And I suppose we can continue this date even if you don't want to. I mean, it's not like I'm head over heels for you, Potter. You're just fit is all, and I wanted to see if you were just like all the rest of them always seemed to say."

"Oh…" I said slowly. "Have you come to any conclusions?'

She grinned. "Just a couple. Other than you liking her though? Well I think that you would be pretty much just like all of them say you are, but only if you could be that way with Lily Evans."

"And what is that way?" I wondered.

"A user," she said. "Except, you wouldn't use her. You would be genuinely happy with her. But hey. Who am I to say? I just hear things through the rumor mill and make my own decisions. That's how I decided that you aren't that bad. But you still could be. I don't know. A lot of girls say you've shagged them."

"That's a very bloke thing to do," I said. "I mean… well… aren't guys the ones who usually brag about who they've shagged? And girls are generally insulted by all of it?"

"Are you kidding?" she said. "Girls are perhaps the most catty individuals in the school. And we like to brag twice as much as you and your mates do."

I frowned. What a crazy thought.

_Next Chapter: It was the scheming smile of someone plotting someone else's demise. _


	8. Beauty or a Bitch

**_A/N: I don't know if it comes across in my fic how much I love James and Lily yet. But it will eventually. _**

Chapter 8.

Lily:

"I would like to kiss you," I told Aidan.

He stared at me.

"That came out wrong," I said. "What I mean is, I would like to kiss you in front of James Potter… just to send him through the roof with envy. But then he'd probably hex you, so I won't do this for you sake."

"Thank you," he said, laughing. He had his robes draped over his arm as we headed back to the castled.

"I have a plan on how to get him to leave me alone too," I said. "Which will ultimately mean spending more time with him originally…"

"You're going to break his heart," he accused, laughing.

"He's not that fragile," I said, shaking my head.

"I think you'd be surprised," he said, chuckling. "I can imagine you being quite frightfully evil at times."

"Yes, yes, I know," I said. "It's common among intelligent women."

"Not too modest, are we?" he questioned.

"Why can't I just accept things as the way they are? Wouldn't it be more annoying if I went around all the time denying that I was smart? That sounds more like fishing for compliments in my opinion…"

He laughed. "Maybe you could just not talk about it."

"I don't. Unless it comes up," I said.

He grinned. "I see. Well I guess no one can blame you for speaking the blatant truth."

"That's what I always think,' I said. "I truly don't mean it in a pompous way."

"But…" he said. "Well, you're really the most modest person I know."

"Well that's nice to know," I said. "I don't think I am."

"You don't show off, to say the least," he said. "You just sort of do what you do. Though you usually are the best at it…"

I blushed. "Well thank you Aidan."

"You know," he said as we approached the castle. "This was really fun, despite you taking pity on me and agreeing to go."

"I wasn't taking pity on you," I insisted.

"Oh admit it, Lily," he said. "You were taking pity on me."

I pursed my lips. "I wouldn't say _pity _is the exact word I would go with."

"If you insist," he said as we walked through the oak doors.

"Well thanks for the butterbeer," I said. "You're a good guy, Aidan. I just have… well this is going to sound really weird but have you ever considered maybe dating Marlene?"

"Marlene?" he said.

"I think you two would get along really well," I said.

"Okay…" he said. 'I'll look into that."

"You do that," I said.

"She's going to be the only one in your group of friends without a significant other," he commented.

"And what about me?" I wondered.

"You and Potter," he said, as if it was obvious.

"Oh right. The relationship everyone knows about save for me and James," I said.

"Exactly," he said, patting me on the shoulder. "See you later, Evans."

"Bye, bye," I said, heading upstairs.

I headed up to Gryffindor tower, finding a bunch of my friends already back, including James and Emmeline and Sirius. The latter two were occupying a bit of space together on the hearth, his arm around her.

"Well their date went well," I commented to Remus.

"Clearly," he said. Then he raised his volume obviously. "How was your date?"

"It was wonderful," I said, knowing that he was intending for James to hear. Potter's face fell from where he was sitting in one of the chairs, reading a Charms spell book. Or pretending to read one, at least.

"Really?" Remus wondered, eyebrows shooting upwards.

"No," I said. "It wasn't rubbish, but Aidan and I have agreed unanimously that our relationship should be strictly on a friend basis. He's a nice guy, that's for sure."

I saw James sigh in relief, so I turned away from Remus and toward him.

"How was your date, Potter?" I wondered.

"Fine," he said. "Similar to yours, it would seem."

"It would…"I murmured, sitting down in the chair next to his. He looked up at me over his book, pushing his glasses further up on his nose.

"Can I help you with something?" he wondered.

"What are you working on?" I asked.

His eyebrows rose. The eyebrows of everyone in the Gryffindor tower rose. Lily Evans was speaking to James Potter. Civilly. Willingly.

"Charms," he said simply.

"Ah, right," I said. "the essay from Flitwick."

"Yep," he said. "It's not too bad, actually. Pretty interesting."

"It is?" I said. "Hmm…" Charms was tied with potions for my best subject.

"I'm better at Transfiguration, however," he said, shrugging.

"Really," I said. "Hmm. I suppose I never paid attention.

"I like Flitwick. He's a good guy," he said.

"Yes he is," I agreed, settling down in the chair and looking into the fire. I felt his eyes on my cheek, on my face, watching me while I sat there comfortably. I smiled gently to myself. Aidan would say it was sadistically.

-CD-

James:

In my time at Hogwarts, I had called Lily Evans a multitude of things. From beauty to bitch—secretly and under my breath on rare occasions when she drove me mildly insane. But I had never really had the opportunity or reason to call her a tease. But that was definitely what it was.

Honestly, in all this time of her hating me, it was pretty damn obvious that she was just kidding around when her attitude toward me took an abrupt turn for the better. The blasted woman was going to try to lead me along now, see how much she could really rub dirt in the wounds later. I realized it easily.

She was going to be the death of me. We both needed, I was certain, a good knock upside the head. But she was going to get one from me if she didn't cut it out.

It was hilarious. I found myself chuckling on the inside at the mere thought of it. I wanted her to want me. When she did, I didn't believe her, because she invested so much time and energy in not wanting me. It was complicated, and hard to decipher—so much so I couldn't help but wonder why my friends and I had spent all of our time working out the secrets of Hogwarts, when it could have been better spent working out the secrets of the fairer sex. The female mind made the twist and turns and hidden corridors of Hogwarts look simple.

In the entirety of the messed up situation, there was one question left to be answered: How much of myself was I going to let be led?

I made the decision quickly: I would humor her. I would do exactly what she expected, I would not cease, and I would be the James Potter she knew well.

I knew what she was playing at. She was going to try and work this out in her favor in the end—get what she apparently had always wanted: for me to just leave her alone. I was going to get it to go in my favor. If I had any control over the situation, Lily Evans would be head over heels for me in the end. I knew how a mind like hers worked. Her affection and interest was fake. It was meant to intrigue me and later crush me. But I wasn't so awestruck and blinded by her that I couldn't play an equally tough hand of cards directly back at her.

The logistics and rules of her game right off were not all completely clear to me, but in the end her own insistence upon getting closer to me—yes I could see that that was _exactly _what she was trying to do—was going to end up giving me the information I needed. It would bring me just as close to her as she was to me.

I grinned a little to myself in the chair, looking away from her face. She had a smirk plastered all over her face. I might not have been her favorite person in the world, but even I could easily read a smile like that. It was the scheming smile of someone plotting someone else's demise. In fact, I'd worn the smile myself multiple times. And I for one, had always been successful.

An identical grin crept onto my face at that thought. I could win this battle, and she wouldn't even see it coming. As a wizarding war progressed outside the walls of Hogwarts, a war within its walls was about to commence. Evans and I would be worthy of each other as competition. Finally a strong opponent.

If anyone had learned a thing about me in my six previous years at Hogwarts, they should've realized that I was always up for a lot of healthy competition. And I liked finding new competitors.

"James, you look mildly evil," Wormtail informed me from where he was trying to write a Care of Magical Creatures Essay.

"I do?" I said.

"Yes," he said. "You've had that look before. What are you plotting?"

I glanced over at Evans, who was still smiling into the fire, apparently not paying attention. I didn't believe her in the least.

"I'll tell her later," I assured him.

"All right," he said.

It seemed that the new pair of lovebirds, Sirius and Emmeline would not have to interfere in my love life—or Lily's for that matter—after all. We were going to do enough plotting and meddling for the entire school. Their help was no longer needed.

Evans pulled out a piece of parchment from within her robes, reading it carefully. I leaned carefully, pretending to be reaching for my bag in an effort to retrieve another bit of parchment, or a fresh ink bottle—anything I could grab. When I looked at the parchment, which she was, by no means, attempting to hide, I saw that it was completely blank.

Obviously, Evans wouldn't be reading a blank piece of parchment. Sadistic, perhaps, but she was not insane. She'd bewitched it to be only seen by her eyes. Only she could read it. Anyone else walking by, attempting to peer at her personal notations would find themselves looking at nothing but blank parchment. It was a good trick and took some talented spellmanship. I'd done invisible ink—the Marauders Map, for instance—but I'd never made something I could read but others couldn't without a spell. I would have to learn how to do that. As much as I was wary, deathly curious, and ultimately frustrated, I was impressed. I couldn't help but be, honestly. She was impressive.

Before my ego suffered anymore, I reminded myself hastily that Charms was one of her areas of talent. That and Potions. I liked to think myself superior in many ways in Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts. The many ways were perhaps all exaggerations, but I was at least somewhat superior to her. Though she would vehemently deny it.

I stuffed all of my Charms stuff into my bag, standing up. I slung it over my shoulder, heading up to the boys dormitory. Remus followed me up the stairs.

"I'm not sure if what's happening with Lily is real," he said to me quickly.

"Oh, it's not," I said. "I've already figured that out."

"Oh…" he said. "Well, good. Because I have a feeling that that girl could be pure evil if she chose."

"Only to me," I said, shaking my head. "And don't worry. I'm already stockpiling my arsenal."

"Oh Merlin…"

_Next Chapter: "I know I've asked this before... but will you go out with me? At least to Hogsmeade?" _


	9. The List

**_A/N: Someone told me in a review that Lily needs to go die in a hole. Ouch. To anyone who agrees, put yourself in her position: if you were being berated by someone you thought was completely arrogant, you would make the list you're about to see too... Or you would try to get him off your back some other way. And besides, we all know how this ends. I don't switch things around, I don't do AU. This is compliant to everything JKR ever says in the HP series... Enjoy!_**

Chapter 9.

Lily:

How to Bring Down James Potter

(Or at least get him to leave me alone)

1. Change Tactics as necessary

2. Keep tactics secret

3. Find someone for psychological help about all of this

4. Keep list a secret (charms—Ask Flitwick)

5. Change it

6. Flirt

7. Convince him that I suddenly became interested

8. Convince him it's not a trick and that I really am interested

9. When he asks me to Hogsmeade, say yes

10. Go out with James Potter

11. As long as necessary

12. Actually be his girlfriend

13. And everything that includes…

14. Smash his heart into a million pieces

15. Try to make this sound neither exceedingly witchy feminine, nor like it was written by a bloke

16. Have him permanently off of my back (he'd realize then that I gave him a chance, and it just wouldn't work, and it will also probably ruin my reputation for being an exceedingly nice girl, which I am…).

17. Oh and perhaps use my powers to keep him from hexing people (which he hasn't been doing much of quite yet).

This couldn't possibly be that hard. He was already responding easily to my efforts. I wasn't too naïve to think that he believed me completely. He was treading gently around me already, hesitant and wary about my changed demeanor. My actually kind and mildly tolerant attitude toward him.

We walked the corridors of Hogwarts together around bedtime, shooing first years pushing their luck back to their dormitories.

"I'm being a hypocrite," he said. "As if I didn't spend most of my first year evenings roaming the hallways under my invisibility cloak."

"Your invisibility cloak?" I questioned.

"Oh yeah," he said. "My dad gave it to me when I started school."  
>"Well that is pretty interesting," I said. "I always wondered how you got away with a lot of what you got away with. I would hear you talking to your friends about doing this or that—and I always wondered how you never got in trouble. All of the teachers suspected you—I know you know that."<p>

"Of course," he said. "And rightfully so. Everything that ever happened that they never fully discovered who was behind it… well there's a ninety-five percent chance that it was the Marauders."

"Marauders," I echoed, scoffing.

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs," he said, shrugging.

"Dramatic," I commented.

"I know," he said. He grinned at me.

We passed a pair of second years who were trying to hid out behind a suit of armor.

"You need to go to bed," I told them. They frowned at me, standing up and headed down the corridor.

James pulled a piece of parchment out of his back pocket, tapping his wand against it.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said, tapping it. I watched curiously. Suddenly, a map of Hogwarts appeared, stretching as James opened the folds of it.

"What is that?" I said.

"They're not going to bed," he commented, pointing his wand at the paper. Two little dots were heading away from us, down the hallway the second years had just turned into. They were heading away from any common room area.

"This is extraordinary," I said, leaning over his shoulder. Two dots stood on the second floor corridor, in the exact spot where James and I stood. One read "James Potter" and next to it, "Lily Evans."

"Thank you," he said. "it took a lot of research and hard work."

"_You _made this?" I demanded

"Yes," he said. "Well me, Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail."

"How long have you had this?" I wondered. "When did you make this?"

"We started it second year, but it didn't go very well," he said. "Since we've developed it, it has become instrumental to our pranking and misbehaving successes."

"Oh…" I said. "I see." I was actually truly impressed. There was no denying it. It took a lot of talent to do something like that.

"Yep," he said. "We're pretty proud of it, actually."

"I would be too," I said. As much as it was a tool for misbehavior, and had probably helped James with his particularly innocent victims. "Is it complete?"

"To the best of our knowledge," he said. "And our knowledge is probably the best of the students who have ever passed through Hogwarts."

"That remarkable," I said.

"And now you know how to work it, so don't try to steal it, Evans, that really wouldn't go over well with my mates and me," he said. He tapped the parchment with the tip of his wand. "Mischief Managed."

"I wouldn't steal that," I said. "I'll forget how to work it, anyway."

He grinned at me, and I smiled back.

"You're being very nice today, Evans," he commented.

"You're behaving yourself," I said. "I don't have to yell at you for dueling in the hallways."

"I'm trying to control my impulsive temper," he said, smiling. As we started walking again, he stepped a little closer to me so that our arms were almost touching.

"I can see that," I said. "It's going well."

"Glad you think so," he said. "As much as I'd like to hex that miserable little Snivellus…"

"Potter," I scolded sharply.

"Lily," he said. "Don't you know what Dumbledore does? Apart from being our headmaster I mean?"  
>I shrugged. "I've never really thought about it."<p>

"Well, you know what's going on in the wizarding world?" he said. "I mean, I can see you having a more limited knowledge than the rest of us, but you read the _Prophet, _right?"

"Of course," I said.

"So you know about the group of the dark wizards that are gaining power, right?" he said. "Led by a man who calls himself Voldemort?"

I nodded. "Yes I've been keeping up on it."

"Well the paper sort of glosses over the heavier details," he explained. "My father works at the ministry, and well, he brings home information that would terrify anyone out of their mind. There are deaths happening, Lily, left and right, and people are going missing. It's the stuff they don't report about in the paper. Some of it shows up, but they don't want anyone to panic.

"Dumbledore, according to my parents, sees it a bit differently. If more people knew what was going on, more people would be preparing themselves. He's not, at the moment, stoppable. He's gaining power and followers rapidly—I'm sure you've read that. They're called the Death Eaters."

"Yes," I said. "I know."

"Okay," he said. "Well… I just thought I'd tell you that your friend, Severus Snape, and his friends have called themselves that."

"I know," I said.

"And yet you're still friends with him?" he said.

"No," I said. "I'm not friends with him. Because of his friends."

"Well, Lily," he said. "I think they're going to go and join his side, as soon as they get out of school. They're creepy enough here in our own halls…"

"I'd like to keep him from doing that," I said.

"You can't save everyone, Lily," he said. "You can't stop people from becoming who you are, just because of who you want them to be."

"I don't think that's who he is though," I said. "I've known him since I was a kid, James. He just wants people to like him, and well, those guys welcomed him in."

He nodded slowly, contemplating. 'Just watch out."

I nodded. "So you never did elaborate. What does Dumbledore do outside of Hogwarts?"

"He heads an organization called the Order of the Phoenix. He's the head of that. Sort of like Voldemort is the head of the Death Eaters," he said. "I think it's a great organization. I'll probably join after high school."

"I feel so undereducated," I complained.

'You shouldn't," he assured me. "I can educate you, if you want me to."

"I would love that," I said. "Now you have me more than curious. Of course I know what's going on… I suppose being a Muggle-born, I never really considered the concept of a wizarding war… But it's so eminent, at this point… I want to know about it, how to fight it… actually."

He smiled. "Gryffindor."

I gave him a speculative look.

"Where dwell the brave at heart," he said, shrugging.

I smiled at him. "I suppose. Deep down, maybe."

"I think you'd be surprised," he said, smiling again.

We walked in silence for a little while longer, looking down at the floor, or right ahead of us. My plan was working. And yet, I wasn't focused that much on it at this point.

"Hey James?" I said after a moment as we turned the corner, heading in the direction of the Gryffindor tower.

"Yeah?" he said, looking to the side at me.

"You're not so bad," I said.

"Thanks for realizing it," he said, grinning.

"Yeah…" I said.

We were quiet again, our footsteps echoing off the marble, our shadows darting across the walls in front of us.

"Hey Ev-Lily?" he said.

I laughed a little. "Yeah?"

"I know I've asked this before… but will you go out with me? At least to Hogsmeade?" he wondered.

I laughed a lot louder at that. He frowned.

"Gosh, you're never going to let up, are you?" I questioned. "Yes, yes."

And the plan was really working.

He grinned triumphantly.

-CD-

Lily:

"Lily Jane Evans!" Marlene said, bounding into the dormitory with Emmeline and Alice on her heels, just as I was coming out of our small bathroom—honestly I preferred bathing in our small shower, over swimming to bathe in the massive head boy and girl bathroom's pool of a tub.

"What?" I said, my damp hair hanging over my shoulders, soaking my t-shirt.

"Have you been keeping secrets from your three best friends in the world?" Emmeline demanded. She crossed her arms threateningly, accusatorily.

"No…?" I said, confused.

"What is this we hear, then?" she continued. "About you agreeing to go on a date with James Potter. James. _Potter." _

"I'm aware of his name, Em," I said.

When I didn't elaborate anymore, Alice bugged her eyes out at me.

"_Well?" _she demanded, glaring heatedly.

"Yes," I said. "I agreed to go with him to Hogsmeade."

"Oh my god," Alice said. "Thank Merlin!"

"Excuse me?" I said.

"It took you bloody well long enough," Emmeline complained. "Damn. Now we'll just get it over with."

"I mean, we understand why you think he's arrogant and foolish in an intelligent way," Marlene said.

"An intelligent and incredibly attractive way," Emmeline continued thoughtfully.

"And so we get why you turned him down again and again," Marlene said. "But… we just truly think you ought to give the handsome, charming, love of most of the school a chance."

"Okay," I said. "So you anticipated this."

"Or more so prayed that it would come so you two would get over your bickering and finally resolve your problems. Whether it be resolved to hate each other for ever and remain separate, or to live together in love and bliss, happily ever after," Alice said.

"Right…" I said. "Well, we'll touch on that later."

"How did this happen?" Marlene wondered, springing up onto my bed and bouncing on her knees. I sat by my pillows.

"I don't know. He's toned the prat aspects down quite a bit since last year," I said. "He's almost nice at this point."

"Lily?" Emmeline said. "We know you're certainly kind hearted, charming and wonderful and perhaps one of the nicest people any of us know… but well we all also know that you can be evil, stubborn and painful if you choose to be. So what are you scheming here?

"Nothing," I said simply.

"You're also a horrible liar," Emmeline pointed out.

I frowned. "Right… Well I'm not sure yet. Things could just work out in the end, you know. There's nothing that says they can't."

"Right…" Marlene said. "Hmm… not that we mind if you're outrageously cruel to him or anything. We were just curious."

"This is exciting," Alice commented. The other two nodded excitedly in agreement.

-CD-

_Next Chapter: "As if I would ever want to face him in a duel. The poor bloke would be murdered." _


	10. A Rousing Game of Four on Snape

**_A/N; ACK! Lily's really not that bad. Okay, so I'm not saying anyone would actually do what she's doing (be a bitch, I mean) but honestly, deep down inside you'd like to every once in a while, and Lily has been so pestered by James her entire Hogwarts career that she's done with it. She can't stand it anymore. I promise, she's evil for like two more chapters. She actually has to remind herself to be evil she's that far away from evil and James is just that charming. I can't say I would've fallen for James in school or not, but taking his side... I understand it. Just remember, the nice one is still Lily! _**

Chapter 10.

James:

So that was how she was going to play it. I was okay with it. Actually, I knew exactly how I would return. I would act exactly as I would've if she'd agreed to go on a date with me without plotting against me.

"Morning, Evans," I said cheerfully, sitting down next to her at the Gryffindor table.

"Morning, Potter," she replied, loading a pile of scrambled eggs onto a piece of toast. She put bacon over the top of the eggs and sandwiched it all between another piece of toast.

"How are you?" I wondered, watching, amused as she lifted the sandwich to her mouth.

She shrugged, smiling with her mouth closed. I got myself a bowl of rice cereal and flooded it with milk, piling bacon and sausage onto a separate plate to enjoy on the side.

"Everything's better with a good Hogwarts breakfast," I agreed. "Good way to start the day."

She swallowed and nodded. "The food is amazing here. I never get over it."

Emmeline and Sirius dumped onto the bench across from us. From what I'd gathered, Emmeline wasn't a morning person, and I certainly knew for a fact that Padfoot wasn't.

"Well isn't it the lovely couple," he muttered under his breath.

Lily chuckled, shaking her head and glancing at me.

It was two good days since Lily had finally agree to go with me to Hogsmeade. Apparently her decision came with side effects. We were getting along perfectly well, and she was actually talking civilly to me in all of our classes. She'd even hooked her hand in mine briefly—albeit, it was to drag me away from a fourth year who was poking fun at Professor McGonagall. I thought it would be nice to transform him into a carpet bag and offer it to the professor as a gift, but before I had my wand out, Lily seized my free hand and yanked me in the opposite direction. But she also didn't let go of it for a while after that.

I could tell she was wary. It was nearing October and my mates and I hadn't done anything particularly raucous or Marauder-like thus far. She could sense it coming. No big pranks—we'd had some in the past, involving all of Hogwarts's suits of armor—and no major hexing, but _something _fun. At least a good four-on-one duel with an unsuspecting fellow seventh year. Or maybe four-on-two… Or four-on-four; we weren't actually that picky.

I realized that it would probably be four-on-Snape. Our favorite game.

And that I had to avoid Lily finding out. Or Dumbledore, actually. I could perhaps cheerlead from the sidelines. But honestly, if he provoked us, I would have no issue picking a fight with him. And he was bound to provoke us at some point along the line.

I looked across to the Slytherin table. Snivellus was leaning over a book, not eating breakfast, with his two closest friends, the thugs Mulciber and Avery. I would be the first to say that not all Slytherins were bad. There were some truly nice people in that house. A perfect example would've been Padfoot's older cousin, Andromeda. Born in the middle of his cousin's family, Andromeda's sisters, Bellatrix and Narcissa, were as snake-like as Slytherins could get. While I was almost near certain that Bellatrix had long since sworn her allegiance to the Death Eaters, and Narcissa was not far behind, Andromeda had been just as much disowned from her family as Sirius had been.

"Why are you staring at the Slytherins?" Lily demanded, waving a hand in front of my face.

"I don't know," I said. "Daydreaming I guess."

"And in your daydream?" Lily wondered. "Which ones were you hexing?"

"Hey," I said. "I'm insulted."

"Oh, as if it wasn't true!" she said, shaking her head and taking another bite of her sandwich.

I shrugged and ate some more of my cereal. Padfoot and Emmeline drooped over their breakfasts.

"Ready for Defense Against the Dark Arts, Lily?" I wondered eventually.

"Yep," she said, standing up and grabbing her bag.

We headed as a pair out of the Great Hall in the direction of Professor Little's classroom.

I began to whistle out loud and she shot me a look.

"Why do you do that?" she wondered.

"Do what?" I questioned.

"Whistle?" she said.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"I don't know," she said. "I was just wondering."

I grinned. 'Does it annoy you?"

"No…" she said.

"You're lying," I accused.

"No I'm not!" she insisted, grinning, but she was blushing.

"Evans, everything annoys you," I said.

"No!" she said. "Not _everything."_

"A lot of things," I argued, grinning back at her.

"That's not true either," she said, slapping my shoulder.

"I've gone to school with you for almost seven full years," I reminded her.

"Yes, I know," she said, shaking her head.

"So I know you, Evans," I said, shrugging.

"Why do you call me Evans?" she wondered.

"It's supposed to be nice. I don't call other girls by their last names," I said.

"Well it's not very respectful?" she said.

"Does me calling you Evans perhaps… _annoy _you?" I wondered.

"No," she said. "You in general vex me Potter!"

I laughed and grinned at her, seizing her hand. "Does that annoy you?"

She looked at our hands. "I guess not."

"So I guess not everything about me _vexes _you," he said, mocking my word choice.

She glared at me. "Shut up."

I laughed again and we turned into the classroom.

-CD-

Lily:

The news that Lily Evans had finally given into James Potter's relentless pleading spread through Hogwarts. It wasn't a surprise. Gossip and Hogwarts were the very best of friends. I found myself, just in a short amount of time at the receiving end of some fairly heated glares and hatred. It was, of course, for the most part at the hands of James's many admirers, but also from an old friend of mine, Severus Snape.

It was he who cornered me as I left Charms that morning, with James hanging behind to remind someone from his Quidditch team of practice.

"Are you with _him?" _he demaned.

"Get out of my way, Severus," I ordered, trying to shove past him and head off to Transfiguration. He thrust his arm out to stop.

"Tell me, Lily," he ordered.

"Please leave me alone," I said.

"Just tell me, are you dating James Potter?" he questioned, narrowing his already small, black eyes.

"Why does it matter?" I wondered.

"Because you know him. You know what an arrogant rich…" he said, muttering now. "I can't believe you would date him."

"Just let me go to my class," I snapped, pushing past him. He grabbed my arm.

"Why?"

"He's not that bad," I said.

"Not that _bad?" _he echoed, incredulous.

"This doesn't concern you," I growled trying to wrench my arm away from him.

"And you think I've changed," he spat. "What are you doing?"

"Leave me the hell alone!" I commanded, wrenching my arm away from him.

"What's going on?" James demanded, appearing in the doorway just as Severus reached for my arm again.

"Don't touch me," I growled, my wand out. I aimed it directly at his throat.

"As if you would ever hex me, Lily," Snape said, sneering.

"Push me one inch further and I will," I said, turning on my heel and stalking away from him.

There was a flash of light from behind me, and I turned back. Severus was sprawled on his back on the floor, angry red hives breaking across his permanently sallow skin. James nodded over him, clearly pleased.

"What did you do?" I demanded.

"He raised his wand to hex you," he said. "I kept him from doing it. You shouldn't have turned your back."

"You shouldn't have… I can handle him…" I said, finding myself easily believing James. In the past I would've taken Severus's side early and easily. But James seemed genuine. I had no reason to doubt him, nor did I want to support Snape on this occasion.

"Right…" I said. "Well that hex is going to wear off, right? I mean, he won't be seriously sick?"

"Just very itchy for several days," James said, shrugging casually. "And he can get up in the next two or three minutes, so we might want to make our way to Transfiguration. As if I would ever want to face him in a duel. The poor bloke would be murdered.'  
>"You are a tad arrogant," I pointed out.<p>

"Arrogant, confident, you choose," he said.

"Over-confident in a sometimes obnoxious manner?" I offered.

"Wordy, but fair enough," he said, grinning at me.

He put an arm around me, perhaps a little forward, but okay with me. It was making my plan work even more smoothly.

We walked into Transfiguration together, taking our customary seats in the back of the classroom.

"Morning Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said cheerfully to both of us.

"Good morning to you too, Professor," James said, and I nodded my agreement.

"How are your Head Boy and Girl duties coming along?" she wondered, a slight smiling crossing her regularly severe face.

"Quite well," I said.

"I was Head Girl in my day," she said thoughtfully. "It was quite interesting, to say the least."

James leaned over and wrapped his arm around me as Professor McGonagall walked up to the front of the classroom.

"You're not going to distract me all through class," I informed me.

"Watch me," he said.

"No," I said, pulling away from him.

He laughed at me, grinning and scooching his chair across the stone floor, making it squeak in protest. He sat close to me, comfortable, but not touching me. I grinned a little, and I couldn't keep myself from laughing ever so slightly.

"Admit it, Evans. You can't pretend to be immune to my charms forever," he said, grinning wickedly.

"I 'm not pretending," I said. "I am immune to them."

He glared at me. "Aren't you sweet?"

"I know," I said, leaning against his shoulder.

-CD-

Lily:

He looked at me over the top of the Charms textbook, his glasses reflecting chinks of the orange firelight. I looked at him sternly over my Herbology book.

"I'm really good," he said. "The essay's almost done."

"I'm done," I said.

"Then what are you reading?" he wondered.

"I'm reading ahead," I said.

"Is this how you answer all of the questions correctly about stuff we've never learned?" he wondered.

"Damn, you've discovered my secret," I said, rolling my eyes.

He grinned again. As a pair, we were stretched on one couch by the windows in the Common Room. My legs were draped across his lap, sheathed in a worn out pair of jeans. Finally, he rolled up his Charms essay and stuffed it into his bag. I looked at him over my Herbology text. Then I returned my gaze to the words.

"I always knew you would enjoy dating me," he said, putting his hands behind his head.

"James, it's been about a day," I pointed out.

"Yes, but look at your legs," he said. "All in my lap, Evans. It's only a matter of time before you kiss me." He grinned to himself a little, looking quite pleased. I hid my face behind my book as I rolled my eyes.

_It's only a matter of time before I willingly crush your obnoxious and arrogant heart. _

_Next Chapter: "Look at you in my bed, Evans. What a turn of events." _


	11. A Night in the Light of the Moon

**_A/N: I edited this because my description of the Marauder's full moon fun was not quite acceptable. _**

Chapter 11:

James:

"It's starting to get bloody cold out," Padfoot complained. I ignored him, checking the map once more. Wormtail squirmed obnoxiously on my shoulder, his claws digging into the fabric of my shirt.

"Wormtail, will you do me a favor and hold still?" I demanded. Padfoot tread on my foot. "Watch where you're walking, you idiot."

"Excuse me!" he retorted. "Your bloody cloak is too bloody small."

"Maybe you're just too _bloody _big to be under it," I snapped in return. Peter squeaked reproachfully from my shoulder, telling us to shut up. Or at least I interpreted it as such.

"Thank god he's a rat. We'd never be able to fit," Padfoot grumbled.

The full moon glittered in the Black Lake, a dilated version of its original in the sky, bright white and silvery, shrouded in mist. A perfect night for werewolves. The three of us—Padfoot and I, with Wormtail bouncing around on my shoulder—headed down the lawn in the direction of the whomping willow. The sun had just set, and the moon already taken on its full, mysterious form. Lights glimmered inside the castle still, glowing yellow and bright from the different towers.

I told Lily I was going to take a shower, knowing it would confuse her particularly when I didn't come back. Perhaps she would go to bed first, instead of waiting up for me. She knew Moony was a werewolf and had been astute enough to come to that conclusion on her own. It wounded my ego a bit to know that she hadn't paid enough attention to me to notice that I disappeared with my mates each full moon as well. If she had paid close attention, she would've long since been on my case, demanding what I was up to.

I could see a light in the Gryffindor tower. Several of them, actually, including the one I had long since calculated to be her dorm. I wasn't too obsessed with her or anything.

Padfoot slid across the damp grass, nearly taking me down with him as he struggled to maintain balance. He glared heatedly at the ground.

"Damn September," he complained, clomping his way across the grass. We had a sort of push-me-pull-you situation, dragging and shoving and pulling each other along, and trying to avoid tripping over each other's feet. We were entirely too tall for this by now.

When we reached the Whomping Willow, Peter clawed his way uncoordinatedly down my body, nearly ruining my shirt and puncturing my skin with his little claws. He dropped into the grass and crawled his way quickly across the lawn, up the trunk of the tree. Padfoot panted beneath me, testing to see if he could see his breath in the night air.

Wormtail pressed the knot in the stump of the tree, and Padfott and I walked forward, ducking under the immobilized branches. As a pair, we followed the little gray rat through the hold at the base, into the tunnel beyond. Padfoot ripped the cloak over our heads as soon as we were hidden from view. He folded it neatly, leaving it safely off to the side, casting charms to prevent it from damage in case of rain or animals. He looked at me.

"Are we ready?" he asked. Wormtail squeaked from below, running in mundane circles at our feet, impatient and twittering and nervous as always.

"We best be, before Peter runs a hole into the ground," I said, checking my watch. "We're in for a long night." As if to second my statement, a pained howl echoed faintly from the other end of the tunnel. Wormtail quickened his pace and Padfoot shrugged.

"I wouldn't mess with your horns, no matter if I were a werewolf," he commented. And fell down onto four legs, taking the shape of his usual dog. I patted his head, laughing to myself. I always thought he made a better dog than a human.

"I've said it before. You should make the change permanent," I said, shifting my own form to my bold and muscled stag. Padfoot sniffed up at me as Wormtail climbed up his leg to be lazy and ride on his back.

The three of us, with me leading the way, trotted swiftly through the tunnel to the other end, under the building in Hogsmeade dubbed meaningfully as the Shrieking Shack our second year. I poked my horns first through the other end. I headed up the stairs, with Padfoot panting, his hot breath on my heels.

Moony was in his usual spot. I knew easily that he sat on the couch when he first got there, waiting until the sun finally set, and transformed him into a wolf. As we approached, he sat patiently in the parlor. He was not waiting for us. He was seething before the attack. I always knew. His gaze, tonight, was set on the curtains. He had a look that insisted that they had done him great personal harm at some point. As soon as he heard my hooves on the ground, his head whipped around, eyes fixing on the three of us.

He lunged quickly and Padfoot took the first battle, knocking him back with his flank. I hated using my horns, but in the end they inflicted less pain on Moony than he usually would. I slammed my hooves into his chest, knocking him backwards when he lunged again.

Padfoot and I exchanged a glance. It was our customary "well this is fun" glance. But we felt that somewhere, deep down, Moony got that it was us in there with him, his friends. Even if his brain would not acknowledge it.

And as usual, Wormtail had already burrowed and hidden himself in the couch cushions, to peer out from the cracks as the battle ensued.

We would get him calmed down eventually. He just was a very moody Moony at the beginning of the night. He wasn't very fond of being a werewolf and went a little crazy for a few moments. Once he was calmed all the way down, we would head out of the Shrieking Shack and take to the grounds. Something would always happen to set him off. He would go nuts and charge off in the direction of some human voices, or human scents, no matter how faint, and we'd fight him again, earning suspicious injuries. Sometimes he would go so off the wall that we wouldn't be able to calm him back down and would have to knock him out and drag him back to the Shack. But it was worth it.

-CD-

Lily:

A small hand poked me while I slept, causing me to sit up in my bed quickly. A small second year was standing by my bed, looking mildly conflicted.

"What's wrong?" I wondered, my voice hushed. All of my roommates were still sleeping peacefully, Marlene snoring.

"I don't know if I should tell you this…" she said. "But my friend… he's a second year… he was going out with my other friend, because… I don't know, they either wanted to explore the castle or the grounds, or have a duel or something, and all I know is they're probably going to get hurt, because they're really all prats, so I thought I would tell you…"

I smiled at her. "You're a prefect in the making, aren't you?"

She smiled at my comment, shrugging. "I don't want them to do anything stupid, because if they go outside, it's a full moon, and I've heard there are werewolves in the Forbidden Forest."

"I don't know about that, but there are a lot worse things than werewolves in there," I said. "James and I will check the castle for them. Why don't you go back to bed?"

She nodded and I followed her out of the room after putting on my dressing gown. I headed into the seventh year boys' dormitory, pushing the door open carefully.

"James?" I whispered. He hadn't come back from his shower, but I just assumed he was out wandering the castle, as I knew he frequently did. He liked to learn about the place, and I supposed I understood that. Especially since he very rarely caused any trouble.

But he apparently hadn't come back. His bed was empty, not even turned down. In fact, the only bed with a person in it was Frank's, and he was sleeping peacefully behind his curtains, or so I determined from the relaxed breathing beyond the scarlet. Remus's bed was empty, as I supposed it ought to be since it was the full moon. But Peter and Sirius weren't in bed either. Their beds were just as pristine as James's was.

I frowned to myself, walking across the floor carefully. I tried to remain quiet so that I didn't wake Frank. Tiptoeing carefully, I bent down and lifted the lid on James's trunk, bending down to rifle through it. After a quick search, I realized his map wasn't there. It would've revealed the location of the boys quickly. It wasn't in his bedside drawer, or tucked under the pillow, or in between the mattresses. I felt like a strict mum searching her child's room for drugs. Only in this case it was disappointing to come up empty.

I sat on his bed for a moment, thinking. It seemed far too coincidental that he and Peter and Sirius had all disappeared on a night of Remus's once-monthly trip to the Shrieking Shack. I didn't think that the Marauders, as they chose to call themselves, could all find reasons to abandon their dorm on such a night. I thought back quickly wondering if they ever had done such a vanishing act on other full moons.

Thinking on it, I realized I hadn't paid as much attention as I hoped. I'd made it a regular task to put James Potter out of my mind and not give him the satisfaction of having me think about him. It would go to his already over inflated head.

But there was a trend. There were times when Peter left the dorm and didn't come back. Or when the three left gradually, waiting a good ten minutes after each other to leave the common room. Had they all not come back? Had it been a full moon?

I rose from the bed, more important matters—finding the second years—on my mind. Before leaving, however, I went back to my room to add a note onto the bottom of my list of goals for the year: find out where James Potter disappeared to with his friends.

-CD-

Lily:

I was up until four searching for the second years, who I found in the hall of portraits— length off the end of the trophy room—preparing to duel a Hufflepuff boy. I told them all that dueling at Hogwarts often resulted in non-regrowable body parts, which frightened them. And then I proceeded to give them all detentions with Professor McGonagall the following evening, knowing she would be glad to take them on as she was quite fond of detention.

When I got back to the dormitory, James and his friends had still not returned.

I awoke the next morning, swathed in sunlight. I had to get up and go to class, and it was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Lily, you look exhausted," Marlene said. "We have a free period first, I'll bring you up some breakfast if you want to stay in bed."

I nodded, thanking her, but I was more concerned and interested in the prospect of discovering if James Potter was back in bed. As soon as my friends disappeared, I slid out of bed and tiptoed across the tower. Frank was leaving their dormitory as I walked in, finding everyone but Remus in their rightful place.

"James Potter," I said loudly, consequently waking up everyone in the room. James lifted his head blearily, fumbling for his breakfast.

"What?" he demanded, attempting to sit up.

"Where did you disappear to?" I questioned loudly, stomping across the floor and climbing up into his bed.

"Shut the hell up, Evans, some of us are trying to sleep here," Padfoot grumbled.

"Yes, well because of you, James, I could've slept last night. Instead, I had to search the whole bloody school for a pair of idiotic second years, which I could've done in a matter of minutes had you helped me with your bloody map! Where were you?"

"Lily," he said, sitting up. His sheets feel down, revealing his bare chest, which was not a good assistant in letting me keep my head. He was gorgeous. I gawked for a moment, before noticing a large red gash, poorly healed, down his shoulder, across the left of his chest.

"What happened?" I demanded, my voice rising.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius yelled, throwing a pillow, which hit me in the head. James threw it back at him.

"Are you okay?" I asked James, reaching out and touching the edge of the slice.

"Oh I'm fine," he assured me.

"You should go to Madam Pomfrey," I said.

"I'm fine," he said, taking my hand. "I was going to heal it myself, but it's at a bad angle… Padfoot's going to do it."

"It looks awful… where did you get that?" I asked.

"It's really nothing," he assured me, patting my shoulder. "Look at you in my bed, Evans. What a turn of events."

I glared at him as he changed the subject. But before I could open my mouth again, he put a hand over my lips, giving me a look to silence me.

"We have a free period," he said. "Why don't you hang out here, love?"

I sighed, and let him wrap his arms around me as I curled against his side.

_Next Chapter: "Uh oh... looks like things are getting steamy over in the grass." _


	12. Learned it from Witch Weekly

**_A/N: I would apologize for this chapter of fluff, but sometimes you just have to have a little fluff. _**

Chapter 12.

Lily:

He was stupid if he didn't think I was suspicious. He avoided the topic of his massive cut and Wednesday night disappearance, and the two of us headed into Hogsmeade together in early October.

The leaves were turning crimson, and orange, and it was beautiful and warm for a fall day. James had his arm around my waist, and I was too comfortable to wear robes, so I was dressed in a very muggle fashion, like most of the other students, jeans and a light top, in my case, a red eyelet lace number. James said it went with my hair in a shocking way, which made me laugh a little, because I almost couldn't tell if it was a compliment or not.

"It's wonderful day," I commented, laughing a little. I broke away from him and started running down the path, spinning in a circle as I went. He laughed, following after me. He caught up, wrapping his arms around me and swinging me into the air. I couldn't help but laugh, putting my arms around his neck. We fell into a heap in the grass, with him half on top of me, holding himself up on his elbow. I grinned up at him, giggling, and he looked down at me, his glasses slight askew, hair rumpled, only slightly though, this time by the wind. My hair, on the other hand, was thrown out behind me, twisted and fanned. So I reached up and ran my hand through his hair, messing it up a little.

He then did something that I supposed I should've expected. He bent his head down and met my lips with his, kissing me gently. I wrapped my arms more tightly around him, kissing him back. He was good at this. Of course. That shouldn't surprise me. But I was a bit entranced by the kiss to think of the multitudes of girls who had kissed his lips before I did.

"Uh oh, looks like things are getting steamy over in the grass," Sirius's voice interrupted our kiss. James pulled away from me to glare at him. He drew his wand as he fixed his glasses, pointing it at his best friend.

"Don't push me, Black," he threatened, sitting up. I sat up with him, still sort of attached to his neck. He put his arms around me, again, and pulled us into a standing position. He glared at his friends, and then pulled me behind the nearest massive oak tree. He pushed me up against it and kissed me again, and I heard Sirius laughing loudly, until he and Emmeline got too far down the path for his chortling to be heard by us anymore.

"You're a damn good kisser, Evans," James told me, returning his lips to mine.

"Interesting," I commented against his mouth.

"Who taught you?" he wondered.

"Witch Weekly," I teased.

He pulled away, raising a questioning eyebrow at me. "No, really…"

"You're the first person I've ever kissed, Potter," I admitted sheepishly.

He stared at me for a moment. "Do you have any idea…? The amount of guys that would've taken you out, Evans… it wasn't just me. I'll admit I was a little more forward about my feelings with you, and if I do say so myself, considerably more genuine, but that isn't to say that other gentlemen were not interested."

"Oh really?" I said.

"Yes, but I won't give you any names. Don't want you running to any of them," he said, putting his arms around me.

"Ah yes," I said. "That's what I'm so prone to doing."

I didn't care that I had sacrificed my first kiss to the lips of James Potter. It was for the cause. For the cause.

"Come on," he said. "We're supposed to be having a date here."

"Don't Hogwarts dates usually involve going into a back corner of the Three Broomsticks and entwining our arms, and legs and such and sucking face for a long time?"

"Not mine, usually, but we can try it, if you'd like," he said, grinning and taking my hand in his. We started back down the path, in the direction of the village.

He slipped his arm around my waist again, drawing me close to him.

When we reached the Three Broomsticks, friends and dates alike were packed at the many tables. James swooped in and stole a table—coincidentally in the back—just as a selection of third years vacated it.

"I'll go get us some butterbeer," he said, walking away. I looked around the pub. Emmeline and Sirius were sitting at a table with Marlene and Aidan, who were both smiling at each other, but almost hesitant. They would warm up. Once Marlene let her hair out, it was all downhill from there. Or uphill, depending on how one chose to look at it. Alice and Frank were a table over from James and I, keeping up the usual trend of being wrapped around each other in a perhaps not publically acceptable fashion.

James set down two bottles of butterbeer and slid into the booth with me. He put an arm around my waist.

"Did you see Alice and Frank?" he said, laughing.

"Oh yes," I said, leaning against his shoulder.

He laughed a little, patting my back. "Very stereotypical of them, isn't it?"

I laughed, looking around, then wrapping my arms around him and kissing him again. He laughed against my mouth, but drew me closer to him just the same. In fact, we fit the stereotype quite well ourselves, hooking our ankles around each other, kissing contently in the back shadows of the Three Broomsticks.

-CD-

James:

"Do you know what Emmeline told me?" Padfoot wondered as I poked through ink bottles, trying to find a good dark blue, perhaps a scarlet. Not too far away, Emmeline and Lily were having a difficult time selecting new quills.

"No, what did she tell you?" I wondered, not bothering to copy the hushed tone in which Padfoot had questioned me.

He glanced over my shoulder at the girls. "That Lily is just dating you so that she can break up with you later, and you'll no longer have the argument 'if you just gave me a chance….'"

"I know," I said, finding spilled ink at the bottom of the bucket I was digging in. I made a face. Just because he was having a sale on ink didn't mean the man who owned the shop had to dump half of it into one container. I looked up at one of the shelves, selecting a massive, regularly priced bottle of ink, and grabbed a handful of smaller empty to bottles to distribute the large amount in.

"You know?" Padfoot said.

"Yes," I said. "I'm working to get her to realize she doesn't want to break up with me."

"What a screwed up relationship," he commented, laughing a little. "Are you okay with this?"

"Of course," I said. "It's Lily Evans."

He shook his head. "Lovesick, that's what you are mate."

I shrugged, walking over to the girls, my arms laden with ink.

"Which one do you think?" she wondered, holding up two quills. One was medium length, red with pink, yellow and orange, and a long, flashy, peacock quill.

"The red one," I said.

"That's what I thought. Emmeline thought I should go peacock. But I agree. Parrot sounds better," she said, nodding.

"Fine, I'll get the peacock one," Emmeline said, snatching the blue quill out of Lily's hand. We headed as a group up to the counter, and I stole Lily's quill for her, buying it with my money.

"Oh so now you're attempting to win my heart by buying me a quill," she said, rolling her eyes as I slid the coins across the counter.

"Yes, exactly," I said, grinning at her. The shop owner passed me a paper bag filled with my ink and Lily's quill.

"We should probably head back to the castle," she said, hooking her hand in mine again as we stepped back into the sun.

"Probably," I agreed, turning down the street. I swung our hands between us.

Her hair caught the sunlight. It reflected the brighter red chinks in the dark red, spinning golden light around beautiful, fine strands. She was so distractingly beautiful. I'd always felt that way. I would stare at her in class for entire periods, not taking in a word of what the teachers said. I blamed her for my inability to focus. But I couldn't help myself. I couldn't stop staring.

We walked up to the castle, inside, heading right up to the common room. Settling down on one of our usual couches, and she leaned against my side.

"Did you have a good time?" I asked her, pushing her hair away from her face.

"Yes I did," she said. "Did you?"

"I really did," I said, lying back on the couch, with her comfortable against my side.

"Good," she said. "That's nice to know."

A loud game of first year exploding snap caused us both to jump and wince.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" I wondered.

She sat up quickly, looking down at me. "_Excuse me?"_

I sat up quickly, realizing exactly what I'd said as soon as I said it. "That is _not _what I meant. I wanted to know if you wanted to get away from the noise."

"Right…" she said.

"I'm serious," I said. "I promise. You can sit on Remus's bed, and I'll sit on mine, and we can talk from that distance. I just want to be able to talk to you without the loud talking around here."

"Okay," she said warily, standing up and leading the way up to the boys' dormitory. Padfoot waggled his eyes at me as I walked past him, and I flipped him the bird when Lily couldn't see.

We walked up to my dorm, and she settled down at the very foot of my bed, I sat up toward the head, watching as she crossed her legs underneath her.

"What do you want to talk about?" she wondered.

"I don't know," I said. "You come up with something. I think I could really like talking to you."

"I already like talking to you," she said. "Let me see your cut… make sure it's still healing properly."

"You fixed it up pretty well," I said, unbuttoning my shirt carefully. All that was left of the gash that had come from Moony's claws as they raked across my flank was an angry-looking pink line.

She pursed her lips, brushing her fingers over the line.

"Where did this come from, James?" she wondered.

"It doesn't matter," I said, shaking my head.

"Yes it does," she said. "That's what I want to talk about."

"Lily…." I said, shaking my head still.

"No, James, tell me," she said.

"My friends and I, you know we like to explore the school…" I said. "We got into a bit of situation…"

"I don't believe you," she said.

"You ought to trust me," I said.

"I do," she said.

"then trust me that I'll tell you when the moment is right," I said, meeting her gaze, trying to convey my veracity. I would tell her. I knew I would. I would swear it if she wanted me to. I would tell her.

She narrowed her eyes at me, very suspicious. "Fine."

"Thank you," I said, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

-CD-

_Next Chapter: Um... a little more fluff? But not really. Some good important discussions between the two of them occur. I promise more plot mobilization in chapter 14!_


	13. Definitions

**_A/N: Someone asked me how far into the rest of James and Lily's future this fic was going to go. And then I realized exactly how long this fic was really going to be... _**

Chapter 13:

Lily:

"Name of your first childhood pet," he commanded.

"It was a puppy, my parents got him for Petunia and I when I was two… His name was Flopper. Because of his ears. He got old and died when I was ten… a normal age for his breed," I explained.

"I see," he said, thinking for a moment. The sunlight through the window on the wall opposite him glinted off of his glasses. "I had a cat… named Chaucer. My mum loves the Muggle writer… And then we have a family owl, Achimedes, and I have my own owl, Clipper. I named him when I was eleven, don't think any less of me."

"I don't," I assured him. "I want a cat, I think. They're adorable."

"They're very self-sufficient," he said. "That's usually very helpful."

"Yes I think self-sufficient is helpful," I said, laughing.

"More about you, Lily… You said I was your first kiss ever. So you've never had a boyfriend?"

"I've been on dates," I said. "But I've never had an actual boyfriend. Or anyone to kiss for that matter."

"I see," he said thoughtfully.

"And you?" I questioned. "What number am I on the list?"

"Of actual girlfriends?" he wondered.

"Yes," I said.

"Number one," he said.

"I'm serious," I said, rolling my eyes.

"No, Lily, you're my first actual girlfriend," he insisted.

"And what is your definition of actual girlfriend?" I asked.

"Someone I want to be with. Who wants to be with me. To go on dates with, but actually talk to, who's a real person, and someone I actually like. Someone I want to kiss, and not just for fun—even though the fun is good—but serious. Serious."

I wrinkled my forehead. "What about all of those other girls."

"Lily, come on," he said. "Did I ever stick with any of them? They weren't you. I went out with them for two reasons: they asked, and I wanted to take my mind off of you for once, thinking if you were just a crush I could get on with my life."

I stared at him suspiciously for a moment. Then I smiled. "Nice to know."

I wasn't sure I believed him. A bit of a self-centered individual, James Potter probably wouldn't feel all that bad about lying to better his cause. Maybe it was harsh of me to think so, but I definitely thought so. He took my hands and pulled me closer to him so that I was practically in his lap. I wrapped my arms around him, actually sitting across his lap. Which, if I did say so myself, was a little progressive of me.

He pulled his fingers gently through my hair.

"You'll believe me eventually," he said after a moment.

I froze. I couldn't believe him. He had to be a mind reader. A gifted Legilimens.

I looked up at him, and he grinned.

"You're like an open book Evans," he said. "Wide open."

-CD-

Lily:

He sighed, his arms wrapped around me.

"We should go to dinner,' I said.

"I know," he said, kissing my neck.

"Ugh, I'm so comfortable," I said, taking his hand, which was locked with his other one right in front of my stomach.

"Me too," he said. "Let's blow off dinner and go down to the kitchens when we feel like it."

"The kitchens?" I echoed.

"You can't tell me that in six years here, you've yet to go down to the kitchens!" he said, sounding appalled.

"I haven't?" I said.

"Oh my…" he said. "You deprived little girl."

"Sorry?" I offered.

He chuckled. "We'll be changing that once dinner is over."

"Okay," I said, chuckling.

He hugged me close to him, twining his fingers with mine. In our whole time of just lying there, we'd been interrupted twice. James explained that Sirius thought we were doing things that were more exciting than talking. He was highly disappointed when he came in to find us merely spooning—though barely touching—on the bed. James assured him in a way that made me a tad wary, that he would be sure to lock the door, and certainly seal it permanently until which time he released the seal, if he ever was to be having sex.

I rolled over onto my side, leaning in to kiss him, now front to front. He pulled me close, his hand on the small of my back, the other one combing through my hair as he kissed me. He brushed his nose against mine, and I hooked my ankles around his.

"Now that's more like it," Sirius's voice called from the doorway as he walked in and over to his bed, which was to the left of James's. He bent down and found a book, and then walked back out.

James rolled his eyes. "Don't mind the arsehole. He'll get over himself eventually. I'll find ways to get back at him. He has a girlfriend too, and that makes him an easy target."

"Glad I make you an easy target," I said, laughing a little and kissing him on the cheek. Then I kissed him on the lips again. He was a good kisser. It definitely made me happy.

"You're a good kisser," I said.

"So are you," he said, chuckling a little and kissing me quickly once more.

-CD-

James:

Lily and I headed down the stairs together. She had taken my map captive, having spotted its corner poking out of my Potions textbook. She found it absolutely fascinating, and despite it being the early evening, well before the hours where we weren't allowed out of bed, she was using it to navigate the quickest, people-free path to kitchens.

"It's extraordinary magic!" she exclaimed again as we walked through a secret passageway.

"Thank you, thank you," I said arrogantly, laughing a little as she followed Dumbledore's dot around his study.

I tickled the pear on the portrait outside the kitchens, pulling Lily inside after me.

"Mister Potter, sir!" an elf squeaked happily running up to me. "What can Opie and his friends do for yous, Mr. Potter sir?"

Lily raised her eyebrows as I ordered a massive dinner spread.

"That's a lot of food," she said. "I feel bad."  
>"They are happy to do it," I said, shrugging and sitting down on a spindly wooden chair. She sat next to me, laughing as the elves worked their amazing magic.<p>

The elves fawned over her just as much as they fawned over my mates and me. They loved us Marauders for several good reasons, mostly because we were decent to them, and didn't overstay our welcome with impertinent questions. Once Remus got a prefect badge, our status in their eyes climbed slowly upwards. When I ended up with the Head Boy badge, I became, it would appear, second only to Dumbledore in their eyes. And Lily's status as Head Girl put her on an equally high pedestal. They frequently begged her to tell them if there was anything she would be needing to make her meal more pleasurable. She repeatedly assured them that no, she was just fine.

"They're so nice here," she commented over a plate filled with roast chicken, broccoli, mashed potatoes and lima beans.

"They are," I agreed. "I think it's in the job description."

"I wouldn't want their job though," she said, shaking her head.

"But like I said, they love it," I reminded her.

"Oh I can tell," she said. "They're very devoted. And very happy.'  
>She smiled and stabbed a singular lima bean on her fork.<p>

"I think I'm going to tell my mother about you," she informed me.

I raised an eyebrow, and she looked up at me, grinning.

"That's a big deal, you know," she pointed out.

"Is it?" I said.

"Yes," she said, nodding. "I don't tell my mother things unless they're important."

I caught her eyes. I couldn't tell if she was lying. There was a strong chance she was just going to tell me she was telling her mother because she thought it would make me believe we were extremely serious—when in all truth, she was just progressing the plan that Sirius had revealed to me to be completely true earlier this afternoon.

"She'll want to meet you, though," she warned. "So Christmas would have some of that.'

"They would be, I'm sure, exceedingly impressed by me," I said, laughing.

"I think they'd be in shock. Young wizard of two wizarding parents, a lot of money, and a really big house…" she teased.

I frowned at her for a moment and sighed, before smiling. "I don't know. I think I might be a little more in shock over them. My amount of interaction with Muggles has been embarrassingly… small…"

"Oh well they're not that difficult," she said. "But living with two of them, or three of them for most of my life, has definitely shown me why we have the Statute of Secrecy… they've wanted me to help them with things since I came of age. That and well… sometimes I just surprise them, with some of the things I talk about, or stuff I don't do intentionally… only once… well I knocked over a fridge in my house from across the room when I was mad, and got a letter of warning about it."

"Little Miss Perfect got a letter of warning?" I wondered.

She made a face at me. "I'm _not _Little Miss Perfect. My sister calls me that because she thinks my parents love me more than her."

From what she'd told me about Petunia, I really couldn't argue with Mr. and Mrs. Evans if this was the case.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"But yes, I did get a letter of warning," she said, blushing.

-CD-

James:

We stole a pair of armchairs by the fireplace in the common room, pushing them closer together—not with our hands, but with magic, as we were both exponentially lazy. She watched the fire carefully, eyes trained on the flames. She smiled to herself.

"I think I'll tell my mother about you too," I told her, squeezing her hand. She smiled.

"Oh? And what will your mother think about you dating a muggle-born?" she wondered.

"Why does that matter?" I said. "She won't think anything about it. Nor will my father."

"You're a pure-blood aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes…" I said. "But it doesn't matter to them and it doesn't matter to me. SO I don't see why it matters to you."

"It matters to a lot of people, so I just wanted to make sure your parents wouldn't think any less of me," she said.

"Oh, Merlin, Lily," I said, shaking my head. "My family doesn't care about stuff like that. They care about whether or not you're actually nice. Or intelligent. You know decent head on your shoulders, some remnants of a heart."

She smiled a little at me.

"You definitely have nothing to worry about. Muggle-born, half-blood, pure-blood, it wouldn't matter. To me or them."

"It's nice to hear that," she said.

I reached out and took her hand. "Don't worry. If… no, _when _you meet them, they'll love you. They're very old my parents. So they might remind you of your grandparents. Only my father would definitely like to pretend they're a lot younger. I was sort of an accident you see… they'd been trying to have children forever, and they thought they couldn't. And then I came and they were pleasantly surprised."

"And then you grew up and they realized exactly what they'd gotten themselves into," she teased me.

"Exactly," I said, laughing.

"I'm sure they're absolutely charming," she said.

"They're rich wizards," I said. "I don't know if that constitutes charming."

"I don't care about money," she said. "You could be dirt poor and it wouldn't matter to me."

"Well I happen to be the opposite of dirt poor," I said. "And that has in turn lead the arrogance that you so detest."

"Oh," she said. "Well… you've grown up."

"I still have the money," I said.

"But it's not as obvious anymore," she said.

_Next Chapter: "Don't you get it? This is a war, Lily. It affects you as much as it affects me." _


	14. The Order of the Phoenix

_**A/N: I'm happy to say I'm almost to the thirty chapter mark on this story... **_

Chapter 14.

Lily:

"Oh. My _god," _I said, hoping my absolute horror was resounding in my voice.

"What is it?" James asked, looking droopy over his scrambled eggs.

I thrust the _Daily Prophet _at him as reactions around the hall mirrored mine. At every table, people were clustering around their friends' newspapers, muffling their gasps of shock and making eye contact with others, siblings, friends, to share in the horror.

"An entire family," James murmured. "Their neighbors… '_Alfie and Abigail Pike, and their children Victor, Emma, and Polly. John Wattz and his wife Lousia, both aged seventy-nine'. _Those last two were Muggles! They didn't do anything…!"

"Why…?" I said, as he continued to read.

"_'Believed to be the work of the Death Eaters, followers of Lord Voldemort…" _he said. "Believed to be? It has his mark!" He thrust his finger angrily at the photo of the Dark Mark hovering in the sky above the pair of houses in Kent.

"Flip the page over," I whispered.

He flipped to the next page and kept reading. "_Recent inquires made by the Daily Prophet reporters on behalf of the wizarding world have unearthed some shocking secrets. One hundred percent credibility is impossible to claim. However, be that as it may, it has been revealed that the ministry has been shielding the public from some of the nastier events occurring recently. It appears, after some research, that the amount of deaths due to unnatural causes in the wizarding world, and deaths in the muggle world related to magical causes, have been much higher than previously announced._

_"As many as twenty-three witches and wizards have been killed April, and countless more Muggles. Again, these actions are attributed primarily to the organization calling itself The "Death Eaters." They follow the instruction of one man, the recently infamous Lord Voldemort, whose steady rise to power in the last ten years—"_

He put the paper down nearly landing it in the butter dish. He pushed his hair back, then took his glasses off, cleaned them in a way that I'd never seen him do before, and then he stuck them back on, looking at me.

"Okay," he said, folding the paper up.

"Okay?" I said.

He had his clenched tightly on his fork, which he was squeezing so that his knuckles were white.

"James?" I said. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he said, getting up from the table, dropping his fork and hoisting his bag up on his shoulder.

"James…" I said, grabbing two pieces of toast and following after him as he stalked out of the Great Hall. He was already starting up to the second floor, paper in his hand, when I caught up with him—which was hard, as his legs were _long. _

"Where are you going?" I demanded, grabbing him by the arm.

"Professor Dumbledore," he said. "He wasn't at the head table…"

"James…" I said.

"You can come along. In fact, you should," he said, walking quickly down the hall. He took a deep breath, spewing out the password to Dumbledore's office. The gargoyle leapt aside.

"James, what are you doing?" I demanded.

"Don't you get it Lily?" he wondered, almost incredulous, as we rode the stairs to the top. "This is a war Lily. If affects you just as much as it affects me. Actually it affects you more."

"I know," I said. "They hate mudbloods."

"Lily!" he said sharply, a reaction to my vocabulary. He met his gaze—becoming more and more incredulous as the seconds passed by.

He sighed, putting an arm around me.

"This is war," he said. "We've been waiting for it for a long time, and it started without a lot of knowing... I mean, we knew… but…"

"We didn't," I agreed.

"I can't sit idly by," he said. "I know people who are going to be hurt by this. They would hurt you, if they got the chance…"

"Enter," Professor Dumbledore's voice echoed calmly from the other side of the door. James and I walked into the office, with him still as heated an passionate as he had been moments before.

"Ah, how are you two?" Professor Dumbledore wondered.

"Did you see the paper, sir?" James demanded, shoving all formalities aside. It was a good thing the headmaster liked him.

"Yes I did," Dumbledore replied, his demeanor taking a turn towards grave. "Most unsettling. I however, have been nosing into the ministry long before the _Daily Prophet _and I, undoubtedly, if I do say so myself, have a much more thorough and educated expanse of knowledge on the subject."

"And, sir?" I wondered. "Is what they're saying true?"

"Not only is what they print true, Miss Evans, but it's getting worse by the day," he said gravely. "Lord Voldemort, or, as I prefer to call him, Tom, grows stronger each passing moment, each day. More people join his side, and it's harder to know exactly who you can trust. As much as I credit myself for being a good detector of imperiused people, I must admit that even I am not impossible to fool, and that puts the more average, and sometimes… intellectually weaker, man at a great risk. Secrets from our side spill over to them faster than we can pull in their secrets. And the ministry tries to cover up their mistakes by pretending that things aren't as bad as they are. But the less aware people are, the more likely they are to get hurt. It's better to have a few moments of mass panic, than years of mass blindness."

James sank quickly into the chair across from the headmaster's desk, and Dumbledore looked straight at him over his half-moon spectacles, blue eyes reading him carefully.

"I know what you're thinking, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said.

"I want to help. Let me join the Order," he insisted quickly, as soon as his mouth could open.

"James," Dumbledore said cautioning, "You're still in school."

"I'm of age," James said, growing defensive. "I want to be a part of this. This could change my life, everyone's lives… and I can't just watch it happen. Sir," he added as an afterthought.

"You, James," Dumbledore said. "Have one of those rare qualities. At the first sign of threat to your friends and family, you jump to action. You are loyal, and brave, and very kindhearted. You know what you want, and you very rarely take no for an answer, and you don't enjoy it when things get in the way. In a good way."

"Can I join too?" I wondered, interrupting. I forgot the respect that I ought to address my headmaster with. But I agreed with James.

Dumbledore smiled at me as well. "You are still in school as well, Miss Evans."

"Why should that stop us from fighting, sir?" I wondered, sitting in the chair next to James. "If something were to happen to Hogwarts… well we need to be prepared. And we want to stop this."

"Remus and Sirius and Peter," James said. "They would want to be a part of this. And Frank…"

"I know Alice, Emmeline and Marlene certainly would," I contributed.

"You two are very passionate," Dumbledore said, smiling appreciatively. "And while I admire your determination, I cannot allow you to have membership to the Order until you are out of school."

James opened his mouth to protest, a very angry look on his face. I was glad when Dumbledore continued, not allowing James a chance to speak, knowing that he would regret what he was going to say, or at least how he was going to say it.

"However, I understand and fully respect and encourage your right to be informed and involved. Recruit your friends, and I will promise to keep you informed and educated. When this school year ends, all of you can join the Order of the Phoenix, of course, and I will not protest. But until then, with curious ears in this school, and other matters… well, I think it is best to wait until you are fully educated to bring you into the real fighting force. I'm sure you know that Marlene's older brothers are involved already, and I'm sure she is eager to join as well… And such bright minds as yourselves… well we need more of you on our side."

James smiled a little. "Professor…"

"I understand that isn't completely the answer you were hoping for, James," Dumbledore said. "But it is the best offer I can give you at this moment. There is danger involved in this that I don't believe is within my right to impose upon students. What would your parents say?"

"My parents would be proud," James said.

"I'm certain they would be," Dumbledore said. "But your mother would also be quite worried. I promise you that."

"Right," James said, thinking for a moment.

"That being said, however, I am going to need a little extra from you, as Head Boy and Girl, at this time. As you a both well aware, I'm sure, students hopeful to join Lord Voldemort roam this very school. I will need your additional vigilance in keeping an eye out for them and any mischief they may cause. I fear that, for a while, Hogwarts might not be as safe parents would like to believe. Do not share that information with any of your friends."

I looked at James, thinking of three people he would want to share it with instantly, but he just nodded.

"Yes, sir," he said. "I think I need to send a letter to my parents."

"James…" the professor said exasperatedly.

"It's not about joining the Order. I won't try to do that for a few months now. But I want to…."  
>"I can assure you that they are both fine, James," Dumbledore said kindly.<p>

"It's not them I'm worried about. Our family friends," James said, rising from his chair. "Thank you, sir."

"My pleasure, James," Dumbledore said as James walked across the study. My gaze followed him, watching as he shut the door. I rose to follow.

"Wait, Lily," Dumbledore said. "I need you to do something for me."

"Yes, sir," I said willingly

. "Keep an eye on him. He'll be a tremendous asset in a few months time, and so will you. But for now, help him keep his head on straight. His mother sent me a letter, telling me that by no means was he to be allowed to join the Order. I replied cordially telling her I would do my best until he was no longer my student, then I would be proud to have him in my organization. She returned that at that time she would be more than proud to have him join me, but not until he was out of school. SO I must give Mrs. Potter a little bit of help there."

"All right, Professor," I said, smiling. "I can certainly do that."

"Good, good," he said delightedly. "I hope you have a good day, Miss Evans. Perhaps you should catch up to him."

"Perhaps," I agreed. "Thank you, sir."

He nodded gently.

I rose and walked to towards the door.

"Oh and Lily?" he said, stopping me.

"Yes, sir?" I said, turning to look back at him.

"Keep an eye on your friend, Severus, for me," he said.

"He's not really my friend, Professor," I said.

"But he still holds great value to you," he said. "I fear he is the only one of that group that would be possible to save from the ranks of Lord Voldemort. There are some people in this world that truly aren't bad. They just become somewhat led astray."

I nodded. "I can try Professor, but I don't know if he'll listen to me."

"All the same…" he said thoughtfully.

"I'll do my best, sir," I said, pulling the door back and walking out the door.

I headed off to find James, knowing he had probably disappeared somewhere in search of parchment and an owl to send a letter home.

_Next Chapter: "I'm sorry but [James] does sort of give off a bad flavor when you first meet him. And so do you." _


	15. Bloody Beautiful

_**A/N: I hate the damn weather. I don't know about anyone else. I had sunshine all day while I had school... and then I was standing at the end of a violin lesson, excited that I could go out in the sun to finish my homework. And it began to rain cats and dogs. So I'm sorry if my writing suffers because of my severely depleated mood. Listen to "Here Comes the Sun" or my personal favorite, "A Bird's Song" by Ingrid Michaelson. Don't know if anyone knows her... but you all should... **_

Chapter 15.

James:

"Our right to be informed and encouraged?" Padfoot demanded loudly, practically catapulting himself off of his bed. Emmeline kept a firm grip on his arm, keeping him stationary. "He can't keep me out of the Order of the Phoenix. I'm of age, and no one gives a damn what I do."

"My brothers have told me not until after I leave school too," Marlene said.

"But that doesn't mean we can't do things while we're in school," I said. Lily nodded her agreement from next to me.

"Just as much as there are Death Eaters out there, there are budding Death Eaters in here," she said.

"What do we do about it?" Frank wondered, his arms wrapped around Alice as they relaxed on his bed.

"We try to get them back to being on our side," I said.

"Half of them are just deluded by the concept of power, some more of them are too afraid to say no," Lily pointed out. "And then you have the ones that are just pure evil. We can't do anything to stop them, probably, from joining Voldemort's side… but we're going to have to fight them later."

"It's going to be fighting then?" Alice said.

"Yes," I said. I noted the way she smiled and Frank raised his eyebrows at her.

"You look excited about that," he said.

"I want to shove all of their Death Eating faces in the mud," she said.

"That's the spirit," Emmeline said appreciatively, laughing.

"I think that's how we all feel," I said. "I mean, everyone is in danger here. Our friends. Our family. Whether they're wizards or muggles, No one here wants to sit idly by why their friends and families might get hurt… I know I don't." I didn't say it out loud, but I knew my friends knew that by saying that, I meant I hoped they felt that way too. There was a reason that they all were my friends, and if they felt differently in this situation, then I must have greatly misjudged them.

To my relief, they all nodded. They were good blokes. Of course.

"This is our war," Moony said, tapping his wand gently on his knee.

"Yes it is," I agreed

We all smiled gravely at each other. Very gravely. They were the saddened smiles of people ready for the inevitable, fighting for a reason. Happy to be fighting.

I looked at Lily, sitting on my footboard, her legs hanging off the back as she hung onto the bed post. She smiled at me, stretching out her hand. Despite knowing that what she did was perhaps out of her evil side, I took her hand and squeezed it. I moved and sat next to her.

She smiled at me.

-CD-

James:

"You can't tell me they're not falling in love." Emmeline's voice carried down the stairs. I leaned against the door.

"Oh he's already in love," Padfoot returned. They had no idea I was five steps away from the dormitory, listening curiously. I'd heard my name, and chose to listen to them talking about me again. "It's her."

"Oh Lily is falling for him. We knew she would," Emmeline said. I could almost hear her roll her eyes. Being one of Lily's best friends had to make her equally prone to the eye rolling.

"We've done some good work," Padfoot said.

"They'll claim we had no part in this," Emmeline said sadly.

Well, they didn't actually _do _anything. They more or less secretly commentated from the sidelines.

"She's going to lose this little battle that they have though," Padfoot said. "I always knew she would eventually see James for what he really is."

"I'm sorry, but he does sort of give off a bad flavor when you first meet him," Emmeline said. "And so do you."

I laughed at that. Sirius was mighty silent at that point. I heard him huff at her.

"Right…" he said. "Well we just have to encourage them to give up on the plotting now."

"Lily is going to be pretty damn hard to convince," she said, sighing. "I don't know exactly what she thinks of him, but I think she likes him… a lot. But the chances of her admitting it are very, very slim. He's got his work cut out for him."

I sighed, leaning against the wall a little, thinking. I couldn't ever tell with Lily either. Was there a chance she was actually starting to feel something for me, or was she messing with me still? I doubted she was on hundred percent sincere at this point. But I wouldn't know without asking her, and she of course wouldn't tell me the complete truth anyway.

"James?" her voice echoed from the down the stairs. I looked up and started toward her, meeting her halfway.

"Hey," I said, putting my arms around her. "What's up?"

"Want to go outside and study?" she said. "It's really nice out tonight."  
>"All right," I said. "Study though? On such a wonderful Friday evening?"<p>

"We'll see," she said, hooking her hand in mine. We headed out through the common room and portrait hole, going down the many floors to get outside.

She was right. It was a wonderful afternoon. The air was warm and came off the lake with a nice cooling feeling at the same time. We settled down on one patch of lawn under the massive tree, getting comfortable in the grass, soft and cushiony as ever. A smattering of other students had the same idea. We, however, were well hidden from view, blocked from most passerby unless they were deliberately looking for us. I put my arm around her, knowing we weren't getting to any studying.

-CD-

Lily:

He brushed his hands through my hair as I dug around in my bag for something I'd brought out. I pulled out a notebook, my favorite, personal one, opening it up so that the page with my list—about the year, not my relationship with James, which was still on a piece of parchment folded up at the back—was lying open on my lap.

"What's that?" he asked, sliding so that he was behind me, reading over my shoulders, arms around me from behind.

"My plans and goals for the year," I said.

"Can I see?" he wondered, resting his chin on my shoulder. "Hey, look at that last one… 'To not kill James Potter.' Well you're doing a good job at that… Let's see what else you've got… 'To get an O on my NEWTs in Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, Defense, Potions, Arithmancy… Do you have any other subjects than these?"

"No," I admitted.

He laughed a little. "Well you should be fine. Especially at Charms and Potions, definitely Defense…"

"Are you doubting my abilities in Herbology and Arithmancy and Transfiguration?" I teased.

"Of course not," he said. "Though I must say, Evans, I do best you at Transfiguration…"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Or at least that's what you believe, I suppose."

"Oh admit it," he said. "It's absolutely true.'

"Shut up," I recommended. "Proceed in pursuing my list."

I pulled the apparently blank piece of parchment from the back of the notebook, smoothing it out in my hands. The plan was still on of course.

"I got a note back from my Mum when I told her about you," I said as he skimmed over my plans to "Become more educated about Wizarding World politics and current situations."

"Oh?" he said, looking up and pushing his glasses, which had been sliding down on his long nose, back up.

"Yep," I said, plunging my hand back into my bag. I rifled through the neatly organized contents until I found the note from my mother, written on Muggle stationary.

"What did she have to say about me?" he wondered.

"Well after she says things about how she's glad school is going well, etcetera, she says, 'I was very interested to hear about this boy, James, in your last letter. I think you may have mentioned him once or twice before on your holidays, and from what I remember, it wasn't always in the most affectionate manner,'" I read my Mum's letter out loud to him. "'I'm glad though, because he sounds like a very nice young man, and you are lucky to have found someone like him to share your days at school with. He seems to be a good gentleman, and despite some of his more relaxed attitudes toward rules, I'm glad you think that he can live up to the position that he has been put in….'" I gave James a wink for that.

"'Your father and I would love to meet him, so when you have Christmas break, hopefully we can meet him—and perhaps his parents! I hope you have a fun time with him before then, and both your father and I hope that school continues to go well…' and then she rambles about Petunia for a moment…"

I looked up at James, and he was grinning.

"Your mum sounds nice," he said, kissing my cheek. "I want to meet her."

"Well clearly, she wants to meet you," I said.

He laughed, hugging me and pulling me onto his lap.

"Damn Evans," he said against my jaw.

"What?" I said, tilting my head a little, trying to look at him.

"You're pretty bloody beautiful," he said.

I smiled a little, finding it impossible not to. Blush crept into my cheeks, and he kissed the skin, chuckling a little.

"Thank you," I said softly.

He lifted me up a little so that I was facing him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, arms around his neck. He relaxed on his back so that I fell on top of him, comfortable on his chest.

"I've got to be knocking all the air out of you," I commented as he brushed his fingers through my hair, winding it around on his fingers.

"Oh yes, because you're so heavy," he said, rolling his eyes. "You're light as a feather, Lily."

He kissed my forehead, then my nose, finally settling on my lips. His lips moved gently against mine, and his hands slid slowly down my body. Then his pace quickened. I matched him, our kisses getting a little more eager and definitely more aggressive. His tongue battled with mine for dominance, and his hands moved up so that they were sliding under my cotton shirt on my back. As I sucked on his lower lip, he managed to undo the clasp of my bra.

He moved quickly so that he was leaning over the top of me, holding up his weight, hands on either side of me. His hands brushed against my stomach, across the skin and I felt his tongue on my neck as he moved his mouth there.

My body went rigid. I grabbed his shirt and pushed him aggressively away from me.

"James…" I said, panting for breath as he opened his eyes, looking down at me with brilliant hazel.

"Lily…" he said.

"I can't…" I whispered, pushing harder against his chest, squirming out from underneath him.

"You can't… what?" he said.

"James, I'm a virgin," I said.

"I know," he said.

"I can't have sex with you," I said. "I don't love you…"

"Lily, I don't want you to have sex with me…" he said. "Well… I mean… I do, but not yet. I don't care, Lily."

"James…" I said.

"Lily…" he said. "I just thought… we were having fun. Was that not fun? Can I not kiss you like that? Tell me and I won't. Can I not touch you like that? I won't if you don't want me to. You just have to tell me. I just… maybe I was wrong…"

He looked at the grass, his turn to blush.

I reached out and touched him. "You make me so happy, James… And I love kissing you like that. And I don't care how you want to hold me or touch me… I love it. I just can't go further, and I wanted to make sure you knew that. Because you need to know that. I can't. Not yet."

He nodded, reaching out to touch my face.

"I understand," he said. We were silent for a moment.

"Well, let's get on with it, shall we?" I said, pulling him back closer to me.

_Next Chapter: "I doubt that any of you comprehend the severity of what you've done," Dumbledore said as Lily and I moved around the room to stand next to Sirius. _


	16. Go Fly a Broom

**_A/N: I edited chapter 1 and chapter 11, because there was an awesome quote I wanted to put at the beginning of 1 and then 11 just needed help. _**

Chapter 16.

Lily:

"Get on the broom," he said.

"No."

"Get on the bloody broom, Lily."

"No."

"Get on the bloody fucking broom."

"I would rather not."

He looked at me, putting his hands on his hips like a stern mother. I snorted at the exasperated expression on his face.

"Why not?" he wondered.

"You know I hate flying,' I replied.

"Because you're bad at it," he said.

"Exactly," I said.

"Right…." He said. "Well if you tried it again, you might get better at it…."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm not getting on a broom. I will fall. And break something. Or die. Do you want that to happen, James? Do you want me to break something? Or die?"

He rolled his eyes. "Are you always this stubborn? Or dramatic?"

"Stubborn yes," I said. "Dramatic, no… not usually… Just when I'd like to avoid death…"

"Lily, for Merlin's sake, would I let you die?" he demanded.

I thought about it for a moment, and he looked genuinely offended that it took me so long to answer.

"Well I suppose not if you could help it," I said, crossing my arms.

"Lily, we're not taking off on a Hungarian Horntail who wants to eat your for dinner. It's a regulation broomstick. I think you could really like it, if you just gave it a try."

"I'd rather not. My life is pretty complete without it, so I see no real reason to attempt to do something I already know I'm bad at," I said, looking at him sternly.

He sighed, growing impatient, definitely.

"Get on the broom,' he said again, crossing his arms.

"I'm quite all right, thank you very much," I said.

"Oh my…" he said. "All right. How about a foot off the ground, Evans? My first match is tomorrow. I'm the Quidditch star of the bloody school…" I rolled my eyes. "And my own girlfriend hates flying. Lily, that's just embarrassing. And mildly sad."

"You cannot _guilt _me into this because it might ruin your heartthrob athlete reputation if your own girlfriend can't handle a broomstick." I glared at him heatedly.

He laughed. "I love it when you look at me like that. Like you'll kill me. Only now, I'm not afraid like I used to be… because I know you aren't going to slit my throat with a spell."

I glared even more, and he just kept chortling like the arse he was. Good thing I was going to break up with him soon. Yeah. Definitely.

"Just do it for like five seconds," he said. "Five hovering fun seconds."

I glared at him. "if I fall to my death, I'm blaming you."

"Yes, yes, I know," he said impatiently, offering me his broomstick.

"You're getting on with me, aren't you?" I demanded.

"You do know that makes it slightly less safe?" he said.

I glared at him. "You have your chance Potter!"

He got on the broom and pulled me on in front of him.

"You need to hold onto the broom handle," he said, putting his arms around me and clasping his hands on it too. I nodded, taking a deep breath. I proceeded to put a heavy death grip on the handle, clenching it tightly.

"Are you nervous," he asked, his breath tickling my ear.

"Yes," I whispered.

"You'll be fine," he said. 'Don't worry. I'm the best flier in the school, Lily."

"And so modest too," I said.

"Exactly," he replied. "Ready?"

"Just a few feet off the ground?" I asked.

"Of course," he said.

"I'm ready," I said, holding my breath.

He kicked off from the grass, flying up into the air. Before I knew it we were much more than a few feet away from the ground. I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming as the wind rushed past my face.

"James!" I said when he halted our ascent.

"Yes?" he said.

"This is much more than a few feet," I snapped.

"Well that depends on your definition of a few," he said. "A few could be anything from three to well… three thousand."

"No it could not," I said. "Now shut up and concentrate on keeping both of us alive."

He sighed. "Lily, I don't need to focus on flying. It's second nature at this point."

"I don't care," I said. "I prefer to be able to think that you're maybe paying attention to what you're doing, as opposed to knowing flat out that you're not. At least if you're quiet I can _pretend _that you're keeping our lives safe."

"I'm keeping us safe," he assured me.

"So you say," I said.

"Lily, if you stopped running your mouth, you could see why I love this so much," he snapped.

I shut up and looked around. If I managed to ignore the fact that we were hovering a good fifteen meters off the ground, I would have been in awe. As it was, it took quite a bit of deep breathing for me to gain any form of composure. James had to repeat soothing words to me the entire time.

I had to agree it was beautiful. We were out in the early morning, so the grounds still sparkled with fresh morning dew. The sky was a dusty fall blue, streaked with orange of the rising sun, which painted the stone walls of the castle, which was slowly coming to life. Our gamekeeper, Hagrid, had already come out from his hut and was in his pumpkin patch, gazing at the two pumpkins that would be carved up this weekend for Monday night's Hallooween feast.

"We have classes," I reminded him half-heartedly.

"Breakfast and a free period," he said. "Just trust me, would you? If you don't trust me, this isn't going to work." He didn't just mean flying. I could hear both meanings in his voice.

"I trust you," I heard myself saying.

"Don't scream,' he said, letting the nose of the broom dip so we started shooting downward. I bit my tongue aggressively, to the point where I thought I might draw blood, or bite the tip off. He pulled back up, going to the sky again, wind blowing my hair back into his face. I wondered if I was blinding him, and then realized I didn't really want to know if his vision was impaired at the moment.

"Thank you for not screaming," he said. I didn't say anything, and he chuckled, kissing my neck briefly.

"I'm going to bring us down now, but don't even think this is the last time you're ever going to be flying, Evans," he said, starting to bring us closer to the ground. His feet landed before mine and he helped me off the broomstick.

"Tell me that wasn't that bad," he said.

"it wasn't that bad," I said.

"I told you," he said.

"I don't like I told you so's," I snapped.

James just laughed.

-CD-

James:

Lily combed her fingers through her wind-knotted hair. I smirked at her, as we headed inside to catch the tail end of breakfast.

"It wasn't that bad," I reminded her, hooking my hand in hers.'

"You're obnoxious," she informed me.

"Thank you," I said, grinning.

"And annoying," she continued.

"Right back at you," I said.

She glared at me. I was starting to get quite happily accustomed that glare. It, like every other expression that crossed her face, was, without a doubt, absolutely beautiful. I stopped her for a moment, taking her waist with both of my hands and pulling her closer so that she was within half a foot of me. She raised one eyebrow, teasingly speculative.

I grinned at her, and then kissed her quickly, pressing my lips to her in careful consideration.

She grinned back when I pulled away. "I'm getting quite used to that."

"We can just skip breakfast if you'd like," I said, leaning in to kiss her again. I pulled her closer, hands on the small of her back. I kissed her for a moment, but we were interrupted by the growling of her stomach.

"Or maybe not," I said, taking her hand and pulling her into the castle behind me.

I laughed as her stomach continued to make noises. As we headed into the Great Hall, laughing, we came across a hall filled with somber silence. The only noise was the rustle of owls floating down from the rafters to their respective owners. At the head table, Slughorn McGonagall, Dumbledore and Flitwick had all vanished.

I glanced at Lily, uncertain. The pair of us headed to the Gryffindor table, and Moony caught us even before we sat down.

"Dumbledore is mad," he warned.

"What?" Lily wondered, leaning over.

"A bunch of Slytherins—Avery, Mulicber, Snape… and then the sixth years Yaxley and Dolohov… and Sirius's younger brother… they started some trouble in the hall… they hexed Devons and Riceman… and a couple of others, but Devons is in some bad shape… It was six on four , and they're all little kids, the others… All muggle-borns too, and a couple of their friends."

Lily blanched, all color draining from her face. She looked nauseous.

"Dumbledore was furious that you two weren't there," Remus warned us.

Lily grabbed her bag and bolted from the Hall, heading up the stairs. I sprinted after her, reaching Dumbledore's office in stride with her.

Yaxley, Mulicber, Snape, Dolohov and Avery, as well as Regulus, stood in a strict line in front of Dumbledore's desk. Slughorn, McGonagall and Flitwick stood to one side of the Headmaster's desk, and it appeared that the head of Gryffindor house had her had severely clamped on the shoulder of Sirius, who stood next to her, looking livid.

Dumbledore sat calmly at his desk, tips of his fingers pressed together, his eyes closed. He appeared to be taking deep breaths to remain as calm as he was.

"I doubt that _any _of you comprehend the severity of what you have done," he said as Lily and I moved around the perimeter of the room to stand next to Sirius.

"I should expel you," Dumbledore commented. "All of you. And perhaps I'm being foolish for not doing so. But I will not. I would like to think—and perhaps, again, this is just old age getting to me—that you are being childish and foolish and that these actions will not continue. That being said. You will have Wednesday and Saturday detentions for the remainder of the term, those of you on the Quidditch team will be taken off…"

He continued a list of punishments while I watched the faces of the six of my peers. Avery and Mulicber had matching sneers, while Yaxley and Dolohov remained smug in appearance. Snape and Regulus were the only two fidgeting. Regulus looked like he was going to have a breakdown and Snape looked like he couldn't believe Lily was witnessing his fall from grace.

"To see students harming other students in such a violent manner causes me to seriously doubt the merits of the establishment we have here at Hogwarts. Violence is not tolerated, and I thought all knew that by their sixth years."

I saw Padfoot's hand clench into a fist in his pocket. He had his wand in his hand. I realized that I would be quite happy to not be REgulus for the next few hours. As much as Sirius was loathed by his family, Regulus still had an ounce or two of fear of him in his blood, and he knew that Sirius would likely blow him to bits if he ever did anything stupid. Brothers they were, friends they were not, and they would probably never truly be companions. They grew up close, but sorting and family created divisions.

McGonagall sent me to follow Sirius when the group was let out of the office. She wanted me to keep him from doing anything he would regret.

"What are you doing, Regulus?" he demanded, pushing his brother against a wall.

"They were all mudbloods," Regulus spat.

"And what difference does that make?" Sirius growled.

"Well they won't have any power when _he _gets it," Regulus said. "He's going to rule the entire world, Sirius."

Sirius stared at him. "My own brother. Fighting for Voldemort now, are you? Going to join him? Fight for his damn cause? Go ahead. Burn in hell while you're at it. You'll be nice and happy there with Mum."

He slammed Regulus against the wall and walked away, huffing past me.

"Padfoot…" I said slowly, grabbing his shoulder.

He whirled on me, wand out. "Leave me alone."

I watched him head down the hallway, look over his shoulder, and disappear into a secret passage.

Lily appeared from behind the gargoyle, looking up at me. "Is he okay?"

"No," I replied, sparing a glance at Regulus, who was pulling himself up off of the floor. He had a gash across his cheek. I hadn't seen Padfoot give that to him.

"What did Dumbledore say?" I wondered.

"He said that he expects us to be in the Great Hall for breakfast from now on, or in the hallway outside to help maintain order. He says he doesn't expect this is the last of this, and that he needs us now to pay attention and be vigilant. He didn't seem mad, but almost disappointed. In fact, I'd almost rather he were mad…"

I put an arm around her.

"And then he disappeared into his study," she murmured, shrugging.

"Ah well…" I said. "We'll figure things out I suppose."

_Next Chapter: "He's a tad arrogant, Remus. And cocky. And a show off. And I think he thinks he's a real down on earth god," I said. _

_ "And yet, you're falling for him." _


	17. Everything You Never Wanted to Do

**_A/N: Early update. I'll update again tomorrow. _**

Chapter 17.

Lily:

"Are you nervous?" I asked, being a happy Quidditch fawning groupie.

James grinned at me, pulling his head through his Quidditch robes. His hair was already a mess, and he hadn't even taken off in the wind yet.

"Not really," he said.

"Are you being too cocky?" I demanded, reaching up to smooth his hair.

"Of course not," he said. "We're playing Hufflepuff, Lily.'

"Don't get arrogant or you'll lose," I said.

"Right," he said, nodding. "Is Emmeline commentating again this year?"

"Of course," I said. "it's going to be just as amusing as always."

"That's how McGonagall picks them. The clearest diction and the most humor," he said. "She'll vehemently deny that's the case, but we all know better."

"Well good luck," I said. "Don't be foolish, and I know you'll win. It's obvious."

"If I win, will you have a drink with me at the party afterward?" he wondered.

"James, we shouldn't encourage drinking. Merlin, we're the head boy and girl!"

"Oh come on," he said, kissing me on the temple. He smiled, and reached for his broom .

"Good luck," I said again.

"Thank you," he said, laughing. He kissed me gently. "I have to go give my team a pep talk now. You should go get a seat."

"Yes, captain," I said, laughing and heading outside.

Alice, Frank, and all of James's friends had saved me a seat up in the stands. I settled next to Remus and Sirius, who scooted a bit away, muttering something under his breath about being too close to his best mate's girl and his girlfriend's best friend. I just laughed and settled down to watch.

"And coming out onto the pitch now, is the Gryffindor Team. Captained by seventh year James Potter, who is now in his fourth year of captaincy, having been first given the title at the exceedingly young age of fourteen. He has a nice line up this year, but I've been told that you all know who's playing and therefore I don't need to list off all of their names again every time a match starts. So Instead, I'll waste time by giving you this message." Sirius laughed at his girlfriend's voice as it drifted over the stands.

"Officiating this morning is our flight instructor, Madam Wiles. As is customary, she is making Gryffindor's James Potter shake hands with Hufflepuff's Henry O'Sterling. The teams take to the air, and Madam Wiles releases the bludgers, followed by the quaffle and the Golden Snitch. James Potter immediately takes control of the Quaffle."

I watched as James shot down the pitch, the red quaffle tucked tightly under his as he dodged beaters and bludgers. I almost missed him scoring.

"Ten points to Gryffindor!" Emmeline announced, to much applause and cheering by the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw sections of the stands.

"He's so good," I commented.

"You never noticed before?" Remus wondered, chuckling a little.

"No," I said. "I think I was too busy hating him to pay attention."

"Yes, you seem to have gotten over that," Remus commented. "So how is your plan to break his heart going?"

"You know about that?" I asked, embarrassed.

"Everyone knows about that," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh," I said, blushing.

"Are you sticking to that, then?"

"I don't know,' I admitted.

"See, you're falling for him," he said.

I looked at my knees, away from the match for a moment as James was shooting back down the pitch.

Remus chuckled. "Everything you never wanted to do."

"Basically,' I agreed, keeping my eyes trained downwards.

"I know," he said. "He's not a bad guy, Lil. I always told you that, didn't I?"

"Yes," I grumbled. James scored another goal. Quaffle hog.

"And now you finally believe me?" he checked.

"Yes," I said.

"I personally always thought… if you gave him a chance…" he said.

"Yes, yes, you told me so," I said. "Did I ever tell you I don't like 'I told you so's?'"

"Once or twice," he said. "I'm just saying… two of my best friends getting together… it's a good thing. I don't see how you two never got along."

I looked at James, smirking on the pitch and doing a loop-the-loop, showing off. "He is a tad arrogant, Remus. And cocky. And a show-off. And I think he thinks he's a real, down on earth God…"

"And yet…" Remus said. "You're falling for him."

"You're such a girl, Remus," I said, blushing.

"Nah," he said. "I just know you very well."

"Didn't you know Moony's a hopeless romantic?" Sirius provided from my other side.

"I wasn't aware," I said, laughing.

"You guys are so cruel," Alice said. "Making poor Remus blush."

Remus just laughed, shaking his head. "Don't you guys all agree that Lily and James are falling for each other?"

"Yes, I think so," Alice said. "I mean… yeah definitely."

"And Gryffindor leads, eighty to twenty," Emmeline's voice carried over the stands.

"Isn't this a speedy game," I commented.

"It all depends on who catches the snitch," Sirius said.

"I know that," I said. "I'm not stupid."

"Well James told me you don't give a damn about Quidditch," Sirius said.

"I do give a damn…" I said.

"Now that you give a damn about James," Alice contributed. They all laughed, and I trained my eyes back on the game, which consequently meant training them on James.

-CD-

James:

It was nice to want to show off for Evans and know that she would be watching for once. I didn't want to look stupid, definitely, because I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it from her for a good couple of weeks.

I shot by her place in the stands, the quaffle under my arm. I tossed it off to the next set of waiting hands and sped forward to try and get open for them. I was in the Quidditch zone. My head had very little room in it for things other than the game, the toss of the quaffle, the position of the sun, the beaters, the keepers, the snitch. Lily drifted in and out when I passed by her and watched her laugh with my friends—her friends.

I couldn't hear Emmeline's commentary. I was too focused for that. I would catch snippets—her little quips about why she thought people were doing certain things, and then her occasional biased comment against the Hufflepuff team. There was the occasional bout of laughter from the stands, and even the Hufflepuffs couldn't help but see her humor.

I was just thinking about how I doubted she and Sirius would end up together—she was too good for him—when a bludger whooshed by my ear. A little startled, I ducked lower, back in the game, receiving a drop pass from above. I shot up at an intense eighty-five degrees, ending perfectly outside the scoring zone. I shot the quaffle with ease at the right hoop, watching, satisfied, as it nearly knocked the fingertips of the keeper before falling right through the ring. A Hufflepuff chaser caught it on the other side, and play resumed in the opposite direction, with Emmeline calling the score out to heavy applause from the Gryffindor stands. I saw Lily, somehow having come into possession of a Gryffindor flag, which she was waving with great intensity. I laughed a little, watching as one of my beaters knocked a Hufflepuff chaser in the head, resulting in my possession of the quaffle again.

Their team had good players on it. Definitely some good chasers, that, had they been in Gryffindor, probably would've met my team standards and played for me. But the match between us wasn't quite equal. We had a leg up with me—yes, I was being cocky, but it was definitely just plain old acceptance of talent at this point—and Marlene playing keeper. She was quite good, and I was damn lucky to have her on this team. I recognized that from the beginning.

Just as one of my co-chasers sent a quaffle in, I watched my seeker, drop out of sight, hand extended. Before I even noticed, she had her hand clamped around the snitch. As Emmeline made the proclamation of the win, the Gryffindor stands erupted. I saw Lily jumping up and down, cheering rapidly. I grinned to myself, hoping, truly, that she was impressed.

-CD-

James:

The common room was alive with wild cheering and screaming when I entered it with the team after the match. No one was giving any thought to dinner or anything, just partying and celebrating the win in a fashion only well-executed by the Gryffindor house. Besides, Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot had already headed down to the kitchens for sandwiches.

I looked around at a room that was honestly full of many fans, searching for one. Her dark red hair, mildly windswept, stood out amongst blondes and brunettes. She stood by the table that would have food soon, but presently contained drinks.

"None of these look alcoholic," I commented, looking at the different plastic cups.

She made a face at me, but couldn't keep from smiling. She jumped and put her arms around my neck, allowing me to sort of swing her in a quick circle with her feet off the ground.

"Congratulations!" she said, kissing me on the cheek. "You played phenomenally."

"You know nothing about Quidditch, Lily. How do you know I played phenomenally? I could've been playing quite poorly and still won," I said, teasing.

She grinned a little. "I asked Sirius, and he said you played well, and I figured he had a pretty good idea."

"He's moderately knowledgeable," I agreed, nodding a little. I kissed her forehead. "So did you enjoy the game?"

"I did," she said. "It was very good."

"I'm glad you liked it," I said. "See, Quidditch really isn't that bad, is it?"

"No, not really, I guess," she admitted, a little grudgingly.

I smiled and took her hand, pulling her into the room that was used for quiet studying for the truly studious students—meaning not me, but sometimes Lily if she was being antisocial. There, Marlene was getting a red plastic cup full of stuff that definitely _was _alcoholic, from Emmeline, whom Sirius had apparently left in charge of the booze in his absence.

"Em!" Lily said, sounding appalled.

"I'm just aiding the smuggling," Emmeline said. "I didn't actually do it. I just help when it gets here. James and Sirius do the smuggling."

"James!" she said.

"What?" I said. "We don't let anyone under sixteen have any, Lily."

"And you are the head boy of Hogwarts…" she said, shaking her head. Emmeline pressed a cup into her hand.

'I have to do _something _with my parents' money," I said, rolling my eyes and taking a cup too. I clicked it against Lily's and took a hefty drink. She looked at me, as if she was clearly judging my actions very harshly.

"It's really good," I said softly.

She made a face and then took a drink. I watched expectantly.

"It actually is…" she said thoughtfully, taking another sip.

"Congratulations, James. You've finally corrupted her," Emmeline said, raising her cup to me. "I knew someone was bound to do it. Sometimes I wondered if it would be you… and then I realized you and Sirius corrupt everyone, so of course it would be you. Or Sirius… I suppose."

Lily made an annoyed face at me and grudgingly took another sip, crossing her arms while still holding her cup.

"Get that look off your face," I said. "I just won a Quidditch match and I want to celebrate. And you want to celebrate too. I know you do."

"Oh yes, I want to celebrate the win of my over-arrogant boyfriend," she said, glaring at me. She really shouldn't do that. It just attracted me to her more.

"I really like you, Lily," I told her, laughing and putting my arm around her. She rolled her eyes, but I saw her smile a little. She definitely did lean into me a little. I smiled, victorious.

_Next Chapter: "Lily, you can't save everyone." _


	18. Some Charming Art

**_A/N: In my other fic, I just lost a fan because I put in some drama- stereotypical drama, but it made sense for the moment- But I promise. No major drama in this fic. Or at least no relationship drama. Just a few... well, Death Eaters, actually: _**

Chapter 18.

Lily:

"Your bitchy plan is failing," Alice said, watching as I stuffed folded robes into my trunk.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"Your plan to hurt James," she said. "It's falling apart as you watch. You love him.'  
>"I don't <em>love <em>him,' I said.

"But you sure as hell like him a lot more than you used to," she accused. "I can tell. And by the way, I think it was kind of cruel what your plan was.'  
>"Alice, didn't you sit here and cheer me on with the rest of them?" I wondered.<p>

"Yes…" she said. "But at the same time… it's kind of cruel. It's like playing _their _game."

"Whose game?"

"Boys," she said. "They'd do anything. To get a girl, to get rid of a girl. And we don't like it when they do that, when they don't play by the rules. So why should we break the rules too?"

"Alice, James has been pestering me since third year," I said. "And before that. I was grasping at straws."

"If you just gave him a chance," she said as I opted for shrinking some of my textbooks to get them to fit. "Years ago…"

"Alice, he's changed. Don't you see it?" I said. "I couldn't give him a chance years ago. I would've killed him. And maybe myself."

"You're so dramatic," she said. "So what's your plan now? Emmeline says you still have every intent of hurting him."

"I don't!" I said. "I just… I don't know. You're right. My plan sort of is falling apart."

"Because you're falling for him," she said, laughing a little at my face.

I threw a sock at her. "Yes."

"And if you were to break up with him to hurt him, you'd end up hurting yourself," she concluded.

I nodded, shrugging—all perhaps a little grudgingly.

We were silent for a while as I tucked shrunken books into little places in my trunk.

"Lily?" she said.

"Yeah?"

"Frank said that James told him he knows what your plan is," she said softly.

I looked up at her. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Yes, I know," she said. "Sometimes I wonder how he gets his information."

"He gets it from Remus," I said. "I know where his loyalty lies."

"Yeah, well he does know," Alice said. "And he actually didn't care. Because he has a plan. And his plan is working a far bit better than yours."

I blushed. "Oh?"

"Yes," she said. "His plan was to go along with your plan, with every intention of flattering you and showing his true charm. And ultimately, he knew you would see who he actually was and fall for him, abandoning your own plans."  
>"Bastard…" I said.<p>

"Lily," she said. "You're the pot. He's the kettle. You're calling him black. Look in the mirror."

I had to agree with that.

"So now you just have to… see where it goes now," Alice said.

"We're getting together over the break," I said, grinning a little.

"Yes," she said. "See, I knew, when you two kept dating for more than a month, that your plan was failing, and his wasn't."

"I don't know if my heart was ever really in it," I admitted. "He's a good guy."

"See?" she said. "The things you discover if you give him a chance."

"Lily?" Mary poked her head in the dorm room. "James is waiting at the base of the stairs for you.

"All righty," I said. Shoving one more book in my bag, I waved at Alice, who just shook her head, grinning. I bounced down the stairs into the waiting arms of James.

In the month of November and early December, we had, perhaps, become happier than I had predicted we could. I truly enjoyed his company, and despite some of his less endearing features, I found myself, as Alice said, falling for him. Hard. We'd be walking down the hallway, and Emmeline would shout warnings at James that he ought to catch me, because I was swooning and would very likely hit my head on the stone floor.

We hadn't had very many Death Eater threats, mostly because Dumbledore and his heads of house were very prone to watching any likely suspects with hawk-like gazes. McGonagall, Flitwick, Slughorn, and Professor Donnelly, head of Hufflepuff and Muggle Studies professor, roamed the hallways, seeming to add extra emphasis on the patrolling of the corridors by the Slytherin common room. Slughorn's obvious distress at the waves of dissention and rebellion emitting from his how began to show. His hair seemed grayer with every potions class, and his wrinkles more defined. McGonagall, however, seemed to have a more severe expression on her face every time I saw her, and it appeared as if Professor Donnelly was going to have to retire soon for fear of an excessive panic attack, the likes of which she had every time someone made a loud noise in a corridor where she was. Only Professor Flitwick maintained his cheery common demeanor, and we all assumed this was only because he was a dueling champion, and if anyone was going to get into a fight with one of the teachers, it would most certainly not be him. Nor would it be McGonagall or Dumbledore, who would seem to appear out of thin air as a mildly frightening pair every time a whiff of trouble floated through the air.

James and I had extra work too. Corridor patrols at bedtime and for an hour after were added to our list of Head duties. Dumbledore recommended that we travel as a pair, and James kept his map out in front of us, just so we were warned in advance of any pending trouble. He always had his invisibility cloak stowed in his back pocket, equally ready for any moment where we truly needed it, though such occasions never arose.

"Hey," he said, putting his arm around me as we headed out into the common room. "All packed?"

"Just a few more things," I said. "What about you?"

"I'll pack eventually," he said, shrugging.

I laughed a little. "I'm ready for a holiday, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," he said, laughing a little.

-CD-

James:

"Hey James?" she said softly, leaning against my shoulder as we did our nightly patrol of the hallway. We started at the top floor and worked our way down, always, ending with the dungeons, and then working back up to the seventh floor before bed.

"Yeah?" I said, hands hooked in hers.

"You're not so bad at all," she informed me.

"Glad to have your approval, Evans," I said, chuckling a little.

"You do," she said, laughing a little too.

I was thinking of loaning the Marauder's Map to Dumbledore, knowing he probably could use it at this point. But I needed it at least once a month. Lily was starting to get suspicious. She wouldn't say anything when I was really tired the day after the full moon, or when Sirius or I happened to have more scrapes than usual. But I could see thoughts churning in that over-stuffed and amazingly talented brain of hers. Theories were already living in there, taking more shape with each passing month. I wasn't going to make it much longer without telling her the truth.

I had a feeling I was probably going to get a Lily-patented lecture. As much as I knew I was winning this whole battle we had going on, I doubted she would take all that kindly to me being an unregistered animagus. I could already hear her scolding voice, becoming stern about "gallivanting off with a werewolf every full moon." She would be so charming about it.

I looked down at her. Or maybe she wouldn't.

"Hey Evans?"

"Yep?" she said.

"You're not so bad either," I said. "But I never thought otherwise."

She blushed. "Yeah…"

I almost asked her if I should mark the day she was planning to break up with me on the calendar, or if she would prefer me to be surprised, but we were interrupted. A loud bang echoed down the corridor where we were on the fifth floor, and my eyes immediately jumped to the map in front of me.

"Who is it?" Lily demanded, pulling her wand out quickly. I glanced at her, realizing all too easily that I wouldn't want to be the one she was hexing.

"Avery, Dolohov," I said. "Yaxley."

"Who else is there?" she whispered, leaning over my shoulder.

"No one," I said, reaching for my wand too. She waved her wand gently, conjuring a glimmering silver doe patronus, which set off down the corridor at a gentle trot.

"For Dumbledore," she informed me.

"Make it go fast," I said.

She rolled her eyes. "If you want to do it, go ahead."

I rolled my eyes too, and set off down the hallway in the opposite direction of the doe, with Lily keeping stride with me. We rounded the corner on Yaxley, Dolohov and Avery, finding them standing in front of an open expanse of corridor, bare walls stretching high on either side of them. The trio had their wands out, pointed at the wall as they waved them gentle, muttering under their breath.

I glanced at Lily. In synch, we flicked our wands. She disarmed Yaxley and I disarmed Avery, leaving only Dolohov with a wand as the other pair's soared into our hands. Lily shot a spell at Dolohov as soon as he raised his wand, but he blocked it. I returned the jet, hoping to stun him, and knowing that Dumbledore wouldn't complain.

Almost burned onto the wall was the skull with a snake coming out of its mouth, twisting around the head on the wall. The Dark Mark had been branded onto the stone of the school.

"Oh apparently we have a trio of graffiti artists," I said, sneering as Yaxley lunged at us, causing me to have no choice but to put him in a body bind that caused him to fall to the floor with a vibrating thud. Lily continued dueling Dolohov, sending what appeared to be her gentler spells.

And then he called her a mudblood.

He was lucky I didn't hex him.

In fact, he was lucky that all that happened was he fell to the floor, screaming in pain as her stinging hex caught his cheek and she cast a final spell that twisted him into a shape vaguely resembling a pretzel.

Avery was the only one standing, and the big coward just put his hands up, unarmed.

"Well then," Dumbledore's voice sounded gently from behind us. "It appears I am barely needed…"

Lily smiled.

"What a lovely patronus that is Miss Evans," he said. "When you described it, you hardly did it any justice. Why don't you and Mr. Potter continue on with the evening rounds? I believe I have this under control." He turned to the three Death Eaters, then to the Dark Mark on the wall. "What charming art. I do admire the skill at which this is put up there… very fine brushstrokes almost."

Lily and I chuckled, knowing that he was mocking them in a way that only Dumbledore could manage.

"I wonder which of them we'll see back after break," she commented, swinging her hands between us as we walked away from the group.

I glanced over my shoulder. "Great question, Lily."

"I never liked any of them," she said. "But it's sad about… Sev—Regulus, you know. He has to have some ounce of good in him. If he's Sirius's brother."

"He does," I said. "I think he's just being led astray by everything in that house right now."

"I hope Sirius can curb his corruption," she said.

"I hope so too," I said. "As for… Snape… Lily, you can't save everyone."

"He's… good though!" she said. "He was my best friend, James."

"I don't know why," I said.

"Hey," she said, stopping me. "Trust me. He's a good guy. He's nice. He was always nice to me."

"but he doesn't want to be nice anymore, Lily," I said. "You two went in completely opposite directions You're going to join the Order. He's going to join the Death Eaters—unless he already has."

"I don't like to think of him that way," she said, tipping her head town so that she was staring at the floor, at her feet.

"I know," I said, putting my hand under her chin and tipping her face back up so that she was looking at me. "You never know. There might still be hope for him, Lily.'  
>"He was my best friend, James," I said. "And I know you never liked him.. but he doesn't belong with them. I know that."<p>

I nodded. "I believe you, Lily." And I wasn't lying. I had a feeling she had an amazing sensor for this things. I leaned my head down to kiss her.

"I don't want him to get hurt," she said.

And then I almost asked the question that would've probably ended our relationship. I wanted to know if she had feelings for him. The way she talked about him… well something made me think she did. But before I could open my mouth, tears had started to leak out of her eyes, and I had to pretend I hadn't noticed, by looking away at the statue of Astrid the Astronomer, because I knew for certain that she didn't want me to see her crying.

_Next Chapter: He smirked. "I think your exact words were 'I was at a party, she was cute.'" _


	19. Padfoot and Elvendork

**_A/N: I hope you all are in for a long haul. Part one of this fic is thirty chapters. I have every intention of making this about eighty or more chapters. I would split it into three fics, but I don't want to cause alert confusion. So enjoy! _**

Chapter 19.

Lily:

"Come meet my parents," James said, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the crowd. The platform was bustling with parents reuniting with their homebound children. My parents were waiting on the Muggle side of the barrier, uncomfortable with coming through to the magical side.

"You'll have to come out to meet mine," I said as James dodged a trolley wielding wizard with two children not quite Hogwarts age, and one who most certainly was Hogwarts age, judging by the amount of stuff he had with him.

The Potters were standing by a column in the center of the platform, a trolley at the ready for James. Mr. Potter leaned against the pillar, a white-haired man, who managed to look both very old and very young at the same time. He smiled brightly at James through a pair of gleaming and clean glasses. He wore a neat muggle suit, clearly not the inexperienced wizard unaccustomed to dressing in muggle attire. His wife stood proudly next to him, a very tall thin thing, with a long nose—one she obviously gave to James—and severely pinned gray hair and a bright face.

"James!" she said, hugging him close to him. She was just as old as her husband, making me truly wonder how old they had been when they had their son.

"Hello, Mum," James said brightly, shaking his father's hand when he finally broke out of his mother's vice-like embrace.

"James," his father said.

"Sir," James said, utterly respectful. Then he smiled, hugging his father and thus breaking out of the initial respect. "Dad, Mum, I'd like to introduce Miss Lily Evans. I believe I wrote you a letter about her. My girlfriend."

Mrs. Potter smiled at me, and as I extended my hand she glanced at it, and smiled up at me.

"You aren't going to get away that easily, Lily," Mrs. Potter said gently, pulling me in for a hug of my own.

"My mum is a very warm person, quite fond of hugging," James explained, laughing as I shook Mr. Potter's hand.

"It's nice to meet you," I said truthfully.

"And you two," Mr. Potter said. "It is about time James introduces us to a girl."

"This is the first opportunity I've had to do this," I said. "And they're milking it."

"Where is Sirius?" Mum asked.

"Saying goodbye to his girlfriend," I explained. "He'll be over shortly. I'll be right back. We're keeping Lily's parents waiting."

He summoned over his trunk and things, lifting them high to avoid anyone's heads. His mother shook her head, amused and perhaps not completely approving of his actions.

"I'll see you, hopefully soon," I said to Mr. and Mrs. Potter.

"Yes make sure you come around before the end of the holidays," Mrs. Potter said, beaming at me again. I smiled back and followed James to the barrier. We disappeared through it, finding my parents waiting right on the other side.

"Lily!" Mum said happily, drawing me into a hug tighter, it would seem, even than that given to James by his mother. I hugged Dad, and then gestured to James.

"Mum, Dad, this is James Potter," I said. "My… well, boyfriend."

James smiled brightly, offering his hand.

"I'm Henry Evans," Dad introduced himself. "And this is my wife, Eva. We've heard a bit about you in Lily's letters."

"All good things, I hope," James said. "It's nice to meet you, sir. And you, Mrs. Evans."

"They are always good things," Mum said, smiling at him.

"I really just had to introduce myself," James said. "I need to be going. My parents run on a very tight dinner schedule, and I'm afraid that if we don't get going soon, we might miss our deadline. I hope to see you soon, however."

"Of course," Mum said, giving him a bright smile. "We hope to see you too, James."

I looked at my parents, taking James's hand, and pulling him gently away. I knew that they were still watching, even though I tried to hide us from view as I stretched up and pressed my lips to his.

"Bye, Lily," he said. "I will definitely see you soon. You can't evade me."

"I wouldn't try to," I replied, kissing him quickly once more. He glanced at my parents and pulled me very close, giving me a tight hug.

And for the first time in our relationship, I felt horrible. Sadly enough it was all because I knew I wouldn't get to see him for a couple of days.

I watched him disappear back through the barrier, and turned with a sigh back to my parents.

-CD-

James:

"She's very pretty," Mum commented as I sent my trunk flying up the stairs with a flick of my wand. Sirius followed suit, then claimed a desperate need for a shower and started up the stairs. The arsehole was giving me time to spend with my parents, knowing easily that they were ready to interrogate me about my girlfriend.

"She is," I agreed, throwing my cloak over a chair as we entered the sitting room.

"You could hang that up you know," she scolded, shaking her head.

I flicked my wand at it, and it floated out in the hallway.

"You're a show off," Dad said. "Twice the talent I was in school, and you let everyone know it."

"Lily thinks I'm a show off too," I said.

"Which is all the more reason to stop being one," Mum said, rumpling my hair as she sat down on the sofa opposite the chair I chose to occupy.

"She seems sweet," Mum said, prying more as Dad poured us all an aperitif.

"She's wonderful," I said.

Mum and Dad exchanged looks. "Tell us more about her. You wrote letters about her, saying how she is the smartest girl in your year, Gryffindor, brave, hoping to join the Order of the Phoenix after Hogwarts too, beautiful, Head Girl… talented…. What else about her?"

"Well…" I said. "She's seventeen too, will be eighteen in January."

"What about her family," Dad wondered. "What do her parents do?"

"Her father is an accountant and her mother owns a bookshop," I said. Then I added, "They're Muggles."

"Oh!" Mum said. "I was wondering why you were avoiding the topic. Heavens, James, did you think we would be prejudiced?"

"I wasn't sure," I said.

"You know," Dad said. "Sometimes some of the _best _magical blood comes from a pair of muggles. I'm sure they're wonderful."

"They seemed very nice," I said. "And I know she's wonderful."

Sirius reappeared after what apparently as the shortest shower ever, with completely dry hair. Mum smirked at him, reading him as if he were her own son—and he was as good as at this point.

"How has school been with you so far, Sirius?" she asked him as he accepted a drink from Dad and flopped into a chair next to me, his untidy hair falling into his face.

"It's been very nice," he said.

"James says you have a girlfriend too?" Mum prompted, getting a teasing grin in her eyes.

"Ah yes," Sirius said, blushing. "Emmeline."

"She's friends with Lily, actually," I said.

"Oh that's very nice!" Mum said. "Do we get to meet her?"

"I suppose, yes," Sirius said, blushing even redder.

I snorted unattractively, earning myself a reproachful look from my mother and a slight chuckle from my father. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Apparently James has no maturity today, however, so perhaps we should save the conversation until he goes to bed," Sirius said.

My parents were used to the two of us. They'd become accustomed to Sirius on my first ever break from Hogwarts, when he spent a few days with us. We were notably trouble/. They had already received a letter home or two from McGonagall; they finally got to meet my true partner in crime. Since then, they were used to the arguing, and the teasing, and the trouble and the occasional duel, or before when we were really underage, a muggle fist-fight, after which Dad would sit us both down in kitchen chairs and scold us while we tried to keep from grinning at each other. But Dad had never been much of a rule enforcer. In fact, it was he who had given us the two way mirrors that allowed us to converse from separate detentions.

He had sort of always been their second son, and perhaps a bit more than they had bargained for. In fact, I was a bit more than they had bargained for, and adding Sirius into that mix sort of doubled the trouble. The Blacks were eager to give him away, and they had never really met my parents the first time he came to stay with us for a month after our third year. And now he lived with us. It wasn't all that surprising. He all but called them Mum and Dad, choosing formality and constantly referring to them as Mr. and Mrs. Potter, despite their repeated protest.

"Well, dinner is ready," Mum said. "We can continue this enlightening and mature conversation in there."

-CD-

James:

I flopped on my bed, overstuffed and perhaps not all that happy to be home. I enjoyed being back in my room, there was no mistaking that, because it was clean and didn't smell like a group of relatively untidy teenage boys. But I already missed Lily. It was a little sad that I was depressed after being apart from her for a matter of hours, but I'd had nights where she fell asleep in my bed, and I liked having the prospect of seeing her first thing in the morning if she didn't.

I wondered if she knew what she did to me. I could watch her, if she slept in my bed, sleep for hours. I could just watch. We never did anything—I'd never wanted to so badly, to just make love to her. But I could still watch her sleep. And I would have to move away from her so she didn't feel how much she aroused me when it pressed into the back of her leg as we spooned on the bed.

I couldn't help myself from thinking about being with her that way. I'd had my fantasies in the past, about her, and perhaps a couple of other girls, but the closer I got to her, the more I wanted her, and the more I was unsatisfied. Of course, I would never pressure her, or anything of the sort, and I understood that she wanted to wait—and it was too soon anyway. But I couldn't keep myself from thinking about it. It was beginning to become a constant on my mind.

Thinking about it as I was there in my bed made me start to squirm in discomfort.

Just as I started thinking about her more, there was a crack, and Padfoot appeared in my room, flicking his wand at the nearest light to turn it on.

"What do you want?" I wondered, sitting up in my bed.

"To talk to you, Elvendork," he replied, leaning against the walls.

"About what?" I wondered.

"Have you slept with her yet?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I would've told you if I had."

Padfoot and I were like a group of Gryffndor and Ravenclaw girls. If they all went into the same room, they couldn't help but gossip about their relationships. Including all the mildly offensive details, usually disclosing too much information for the comfort of the other parties, who really didn't care about how crude it all was.

"What about you and Emmeline?" I wondered as he pushed his hair out of his eyes.

He shrugged. "We're just not as moral as you and Lily, for some reason."

"You haven't been dating her long enough," I accused.

"Depends on your definition of long enough," he said. "This is a judgment-free zone, remember?" His voice turned mocking. "I think your words were 'I was at a party… she was cute…'"

"Let's not bring that up," I said, shaking my head.

"Fine," he said.

"So how was she?" I wondered.

"Very talented," he said. "I didn't really doubt her, but I was certainly pleasantly surprised. Best I've ever had."

"Damn," I said. "Virgin?"

"No," he said, laughing.

"Do you know the other guys?" I wondered.

"_Guy," _he said, stressing the singular.

"And?" I prompted.

"Remus," he said.

I stared at him and started laughing.

"That's what I did when she told me," he said gravely, shaking his head. "But then she insisted."

"She _insisted?" _I said, eyes widening.

"Yes," he said.

"How… when… how did this happen?" I demanded. "And when?"

"Apparently last year," he said. "Apparently she was upset one day and he was upset, and they both really get along and comforted each other and found our stash of booze and got a little tipsy while doing the comforting. And they sort of had a bit of a brief relationship that culminated in the ultimate decision to not attempt anything else once the summer came."

"How did we not notice?" I wondered.

"Merlin knows," he said, laughing. "I was just as shocked as you were. Mostly because I didn't believe he didn't tell us he was getting _laid."_

"He was probably trying to be a good example. As always," I said.

"But if you've noticed, him being a good example has never actually worked in the past," Sirius pointed out.

"Wonderful point, my friend," I said. "Ah well…"

"So we harp on him when we get back to school," he said, shrugging.

"Sounds like a plan to me," I said, grinning.

"So now we need to catch you back up to me," he said proudly.

"I'm being respectful of my girlfriend's morals and letting it be our decision in the right time," I said, not even feeling the conviction myself.

"Oh, so that's why you were about three mental pictures away from getting ready to wank off when I came in," Padfoot determined. "Because you're being respectful."

"I said respectful," I said. "Not patient."


	20. Muggles and Freaks

**_A/N: Whenever I have a really long weekend or there's a holiday or something, I've decided I will update every day. So there will be a new chapter every day until Tuesday. _**

Chapter 20:

James:

Christmas morning. One of my favorite mornings of the year—I couldn't list my other favorites, but that was just a small technicality.

My family always congregated downstairs for breakfast and presents, usually none of us out of our pajamas by that point. Even my proper father was still in his dressing gown. The four of us—or what had been four since last year's Christmas—settled in front of the Christmas tree, decorated extravagantly in Gryffindor colors, with a gold star on the top. In the kitchen, the house-elves were preparing our breakfast of eggs and waffles and bacon.

Despite not being their son, Mum and Dad had taken to spoiling Sirius about as much as they spoiled me. Though my present pile was always just a bit larger and a bit fancier, Sirius didn't complain. In his household, the institution of Christmas was quite definitely frowned upon, denounced as a cheap Muggle tradition, and they never exchanged gifts. Anything was welcome in this much warmer environment.

'What are your plans for the day?" Mum asked as I waved my wand to neatly stack my opened packages in the corner.

"Well, Lily invited me over to her house later in the evening," I said.

"And Emmeline wants me to come over as well," Padfoot contributed.

"Oh well it looks like we'll be alone tonight," Dad said, laughing a little over his cup of coffee.

"After dinner, of course," I said, looking pointedly at Padfoot.

"Of course," he said. "I wouldn't back out on dinner. Not a Potter family dinner."

"Potter plus Black," Mum said, laughing a little. "Though you might as well change your name."

"I don't know, Black sounds very mysterious. Debonair," Sirius said, donning a newly gifted knit hat in Gryffindor colors. It smushed his hair down in his eyes even more, and I rolled my eyes. It was a miracle he even had a girlfriend with such a dumb look.

"You look like a girl," I informed him, chucking a mini quaffle at him so that it hit him square on the nose.

"I'm amazed that you are a seventh year and you still behave like you do," Mum said, scolding me.

"I might need a haircut," Sirius commented, fingering the ends of his hair. Mum looked excited at those words—she had been itching to give him a good trim from the very first day she saw him. He grinned at her excitement. "I'm not talking inches here, Mrs. Potter. I'm talking quarter at the most."

"I think you would look very handsome with short hair," Mum said stubbornly. "And I'm certain your girlfriend would agree with me."

"I don't know," he said. "I think the hair was a bit of a selling point with Em. It is one of my major attractive features. It gives me my power."

Dad laughed, shaking his head. "If that hair is what attracts Hogwarts women, then… well their standards are lowered."

"Just because it looks bad today…" Padfoot grumbled.

We all laughed.

"We're just making fun of you Sirius," Mum said. "Though any day you need a little help getting it even, please, just come see me. I'll give you a nice hand."

"And I'll have to regrow it," Sirius said, laughing. "I'll let you know, Mrs. Potter."

"And Dad," I said. "Not all Hogwarts girls are into the vagabond look. Some like neatly trimmed." I ran my fingers through my own hair.

"Trimmed yes," Mum said. "Neat is another story with you, James. Are you sure it won't stay flat?"

"I've begun to embrace the messy," I said. I'd been embracing it since fourth year. "It looks better messier than if I try to neaten it."

Mum shook her head. "It won't be manageable until it falls out. Maybe if you grew it out like Sirius…"

-CD-

Lily:

"Lily, would you please take that _thing _out of your hair," Petunia demanded from behind me. I had just finished tying a brilliantly beautiful red and gold silk scarf into my hair.

"No," I said, fixing my blouse.

"It clashes with your hair," she snapped.

"It does not, shut up," I said.

"You look like you should be wearing a hemp skirt and waving picket signs," she said. "Couldn't you have at least worn a skirt?"

I looked at my jeans, which were almost worn through at the knees.

"What's wrong with these?" I said. "They're muggle clothes aren't they?"

She heaved a very loud sigh. "Just you remember that Vernon doesn't like it if we talk about _magic _in front of him—I'm lucky he still wants to _marry _me, with a freak sister like you…"

I rolled my eyes. "James is coming over. I hope Vernon is okay with meeting him?"

"James?" Petunia echoed.

"My _boyfriend," _I said.

"Oh…" Petunia said. "Right… another freak."

"He's not a freak, I'm not a freak, you're the freak," I said. "Happy Christmas, yeah?"

I picked my wand up off of the dresser, waving it to close my closet door, before sticking it carefully in my pocket.

"Can that stay up here?" she demanded, a whine creeping into her voice.

"No," I said strictly. "I refuse."

"Why?" she said.

"Because I never know when I'm going to need it," I said, crossing my arms and thinking of Death Eaters.

She rolled her eyes this time, storming out of my room like the drama queen she most certainly was. I followed after her brightly, wishing that her fiance had suggested they go to his parents' house for their Christmas dinner.

I walked past Petunia's room, which like mine was well organized. Hers, however, was more pristine. Everything gleamed, with not a speck of dust on it. She still lived with our mum and dad because she had moved out of her apartment in London upon her engagement and was in the process of looking for a house to share with Vernon after their June wedding. My poor parents, bless their souls, had to live another six months with her under their roof.

Vernon arrived at the precise moment Petunia told him to come, pressing the doorbell, I was certain, as soon as the second hand ticked over the twelve, announcing the minute. Petunia swooned upon seeing him, why I didn't know. Vernon was not necessarily fat… nor was he thin. He had a good chubby roundness to his stomach and a pudgy face, that looked as if, on command, it would likely age ten years in a heartbeat. He hugged and kissed Petunia, kissed my mum and then shook my father's hand. I was not put out when he avoided contact with me, giving an odd little wave and an awkward glance combined with a nod in my direction.

"We'll have dinner in a bit Vernon," Petunia crooned. "Mum and I made it."

She gave me a dirty look because I didn't help. I offered to prepare it in half the time for them with my wand, but Petunia went on a rant about how I didn't have to do everything just because I was _magical _and so on and so forth until I just left the room, leaving Mum looking like she was going to develop an ulcer and, somewhat, disappointed that I hadn't halved her work.

"Well it smells lovely," Vernon said, giving her a bright smile. Or what I supposed he thought was a bright smile, but really looked as if someone had pulled up the cheeks on an obese pug dog. I turned and led the processional into the sitting room, settling myself by the roaring fireplace and keeping my thoughts to myself as best as possible.

I listened to the four of them ramble about conversational topics that everyone talked about: Vernon's pending university graduation, his prospective jobs, the health of his parents and his older sister, Marge, who, from what I gathered by eavesdropping, was perhaps more annoying and stressful than he was. I was continually brought into the conversation by my parents, but also repeatedly shunted back out of it by Petunia, who was aided and abetted by Vernon, who apparently seemed to think he would catch my disease of abnormalcy just by speaking to me.

When we sat down to dinner, I was glad he found the excuse of shoving his face with food to keep him from talking. It wasn't much of a deterrent, as he chose to exemplify by repeatedly speaking with a full mouth and showering his front and usually my sister with a spray of half-chewed food. At one point he made a comment about manners, and the apparent lack of them in "today's society." It took every power I had not to open my mouth and tell him that it wasn't very good manners to talk with my mother's Christmas ham sloshing around his tonsils, but I figured that might be seen as rude.

James's arrival was welcome. He too was fairly punctual, arriving just a minute—according to the clock in the dining room—just a minute after I asked him to come. We were pushing in our chairs with full stomachs—especially Vernon—and I was itching for him to get out of the way so I could clear the table for my mother with a simple flick of my wand, and clean the dishes while I was at it. However, I chose to answer the door instead.

"Happy Christmas!" he said excitedly as soon as he saw me. He wrapped his arms around me quickly, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek, seeing my parents looking on from nearby.

"Happy Christmas!" I returned, hooking my hand in his.

"Happy Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. Evans," he said, walking to shake my father's hand and shake my mum's hand as well.

"Hello James," Mum said. "How are you?"

"I'm very well, thank you," he said. "And you?"

"I'm very well," she said, blushing a little. I wondered if it was from the charming and mildly dazzling smile on his lips.

"Would you like me to clear the table now, Mum?" I interrupted quickly, waving my wand before she could say yes. The dishes were cleaned and then with another flick they stacked themselves up and flew into the kitchen.

"Come in and sit down," Mum said, still ignoring me and beaming warmly at James, whom, if I wasn't mistaken, she highly approved of. Then again, I reminded myself, we had just spent an entire hour with Vernon, and James's presence was quite a relief in the aftermath of _that. _

Vernon and Petunia were kissing gently on the couch in a manner that James and I would put to shame—and I had every intention of doing so once my parents moved to the kitchen for their usual after-Christmas dinner drink consumption.

"James," I said, clearing my throat loudly, causing the pair of gross children to break apart. They looked up at my boyfriend, who outranked them both in height and certainly far surpassed Vernon in the looks department.

"James," I said again, "this is my older sister, Petunia. And that's her fiance, Vernon Dursley. Petunia, Vernon, this is my boyfriend, James."

"How do you do?" James asked happily, sticking his hand out to shake theirs. I had warned him ahead of time that my sister and her fiance were not very keen on the idea of magical people and that there was a strong possibility they would treat us like lepers.

Petunia humored my evil look by shaking his hand gently, just by the fingertips. Vernon however, just stared at the hand as if it was a foreign object he hadn't actually seen before.

"Right," James said, tucking it quickly in his pocket as if he had never intended on shaking Vernon's hand anyway. He turned to me brightly. "I have a present for you." I pulled him over to sit with me in front of the fire, grabbing his present from where I'd left it under the tree.

He passed me a small box, wrapped in red paper. I slipped a hand inside the paper and pulled, tearing it gently. I pulled out the small square jewelry box, giving him a gentle glare.

"What did you buy me?" I demanded. "It better not have been expensive."

He rolled his eyes. "Just open it.'  
>I lifted the lid on the box, opening it to reveal a pair of crystal tear drop-shaped earrings.<p>

"Wow!" I said. "They're really pretty James…"

"They change color," he said. "Based on a lot of things…. A lot of times they'll change based on what color clothing you're wearing, but they also show what mood you're in—especially if the emotions you're feeling are very strong."

I laughed. "They're beautiful!"

I pulled them gently from the cushion, sticking them into my ears. They instantly turned red.

"See," he said. "That's either matching the scarf in your hair, or it means you're passionate."

I heard my dad clear his throat, and I laughed a little, turning to wink at my father.

"Freaks," I heard under Vernon's breath.

James's head whirled around.

_Next Chapter: "I have to tell you something," she said. _


	21. Confessions

**_A/N: Things are about to get interesting... _**

Chapter 21.

James:

Lily put a cautioning hand on my arm.

I stared at the pudgy boy, arm around the bony girl, who looked as if she agreed with every word out of her mouth.

"Now…" Mr. Evans said, cautioning. He rose from his chair and walked across the room. "Boys…"

I cleared my throat, looking away. Freaks? I was a freak? More importantly, _Lily _was a freak? What an insult. I wanted to jump to her defense, to my defense, to the defense of my friends and family.

"I'm sorry," Vernon said, standing right up. Lily had to hold me down to keep me from getting up.

"Vernon, please, sit down," Mr. Evans said strictly.

"No," Vernon said. "I find it very hard… I love Petunia, and I would like to marry her. I would like to marry her no matter what… her sister is. But I cannot be asked to tolerate it as if it is _normal. _Why should I have to deal with them sitting here in front of me, flaunting what they are?'

Lily let go of me, and we both were standing.

"Lily, sit back down," her father barked at her. "You too, James."

I was torn between looking bad in front of my girlfriend's parents, the second time I'd met them, and then standing up for my girlfriend and myself.

I stayed standing, just as Lily did.

"We are just as normal as you are," I said calmly to Vernon.

Vernon turned to Petunia. "I don't want her at my wedding. I don't care if she's your sister Petunia. I don't like what she is."

"I don't either," Petunia said.

Lily froze next to me. "Petunia…"

She moved forward, and Vernon thrust his arm out to place himself in between Lily and her sister, as if Lily would do anything to hurt Petunia. Vernon shoved Lily away, and both Mr. Evans and I jumped to her defense.

"Keep your hands off of her," I said, putting an arm around Lily and pulling her closer to me. Her father attempted to step in, but Vernon pushed around him.

"What are you going to do about it?" he demanded, suddenly a little more confident than he had seemed.

"I won't do anything," I said. "If you just accept that Lily is Petunia's sister, and she is actually a genuine person. And so am I."

"You aren't people," Vernon said as Lily broke out of my arms and moved back toward Petunia.

"What do you mean you don't want me at your wedding?" she demanded, distraught.

"She means we don't want you there," Vernon said, getting in Lily's face.

I seized Lily's hand, my wand out, at my side, but enough to make the little man's eyes bulge.

"Lily, why don't we go to my house?" I suggested, linking my fingers in hers.

"Petunia…" Lily said.

Petunia didn't meet her gaze. Lily grabbed my hand more tightly and pulled me out of the room, grabbing my coat and hers. I held tightly to her and we turned on the spot.

We reappeared on my front porch, and Lily's eyes widened as soon as she saw the house. It stood tall, massive, and a little intimidating when your first sight of it was from the front porch. I pulled the door open, holding it for her.

"Nice house," she commented, stepping into the warm entryway, facing in the massive spiral staircase, floating chandelier and family paintings. Christmas garland and mistletoe hung from the ceilings and around the banisters.

"My parents are having some alone time," I said, turning to Lily. She was frowning, staring at the floor, her cheeks red with heat, not from embarrassment, but from the intensity of the moment back at her house. I took her hand gently and started to draw her up the stairs so we avoided my parents. It was easier just to go to my room.

"Where are we going?" she wondered softly as I pulled her up the steps.

"My room" I said. "Don't' worry. I won't take advantage of you."

She sighed and stepped closer to me.

"I'm sorry for that, back there," she apologized gently.

"Don't apologize to me," I said. "You didn't do anything.'

"Yes, but she's my family," she said.

"And her fiance is the biggest pompous arse of a man I've ever met. I promise you, in a few years time he'll more closely resemble a walrus than a human being," I said.

"I don't like him either," she said, shaking her head. "But he still shouldn't have said those things. He meant them though. And now Petunia is mad at me. But she's been mad at me since I was eleven, so I suppose there's no changing that."

"What about your parents?" I wondered. "Are they going to be unhappy with you being involved with me based on the way I reacted back there?"

"I'll vouch for you," she promised.

"How about you let me know if I need to vouch for myself?" I said. "Much more respectable in my opinion. I will convince your father that there is a chance I might be the slightest bit worthy of you—though who could ever truly be worthy of you, I can't imagine."

She took a deep breath, leaning against my shoulder.

I pushed open the door to my bedroom, revealing an assortment of Gryffindor paraphernalia, posters for Quidditch teams, and other fun accoutrements. She immediately moved to sit on my bed, curling her legs up underneath her. I bounced up next to her, and she looked at her hands for a moment, instead of at me.

"James?" she said.

"Yeah," I said, reaching over to rub my hands across her jeans, which looked extremely comfortable to me.

"I have to tell you something," she said, reaching over to run her fingers through my hair.

I looked up at her, sideways, sort of through my glasses.

"What?" I asked warily.

"It's sort of a confession," she said, sounding embarrassed.

"Go ahead," I said.

"I…" she said. "I have a secret. I went out with you for the wrong reasons."

I grinned and tried to keep her from seeing. She seemed to be very nervous about telling me this, and I was going to play it up for a moment. It only served her right, what with her conniving game-playing.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"I agreed to go out with you because I thought I could get you off my back. If I went out with you, you finally would win that way and stop pestering me about it. And then I could break your heart, and you couldn't complain, because we finally gave it a shot, just as you've been asking to do forever."

"Was I really that annoying?" I wondered.

"Yes," she said. "Are you mad?"

"Well…" I said.

"Well?"

"That depends," I said.

"On what?"

"Whether there's more to that story or not," I said. "If there isn't more and this is the break up moment, then yes, I'm a little mad."

"No!" she said. "There's more. I realized… that you're not that bad and I really do like you… or love you, I guess. I love you James. Despite what I did."

"I love you too, Lily," I said, sitting up to look at her.

She leaned in to kiss me, but before she could do it, I pulled back gently, keeping space between us.

"I have a confession to make too," I admitted, causing her to raise an eyebrow.

"Oh?" she said.

"I hate to break it to you, Evans, but you're not very covert. I knew something was up as soon as you started expressing interest. I suspected that you were just messing with me, and I guessed at your plan—very accurately. It didn't take long to get confirmation from Sirius—don't tell anything to Emmeline, she blabs—and Remus who reads you very well. And so I devised my own plan,' I announced.

"You did?" she said.

"Yes," I said. "I planned that you would go out with me, and I would act just the same as usual, with my behavior to the point of refinement it had reached at the end of the last school year. And I hoped that you would potentially realize that I'm not that bad, and that you in truth harbor deep feelings for me that you have finally recognized—"

"I wouldn't go _that _far," she said. "I don't think these feelings were harbored and I didn't so much recognize them as develop them in the first place."

"Fine," I said. "But in the end, we were going to be together, Lily. That was the whole point of my plan. So guess what… with all that careful scheming of yours… I still won."

She froze, staring at me for a moment. "You arse!"

"What are you mad at me for acting just as always?" I demanded.

"No!" she said. "I'm mad at you for winning in this battle of wits we had."

"It just proves I'm smarter," I said, shrugging.'

"Perhaps not so much smarter as more diabolical and better at scheming," she said thoughtfully. "Evil."

"Evil," I said. "Yes. That is definitely me."

She nodded, pulling me closer to her.

"So," I said. "Are we agreed now? We're no longer plotting against each other?"

"No, we're not," she said, shaking her head.

"And you love me?" I wondered.

"Yes," she said. "I love you."

'Good," I said. "Because, like I said, I love you too, Lily."

I pulled her closer, so that she was sitting on my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck and starting to kiss me, she also slid her legs around my waist. I slid my hands gently up underneath her t-shirt, feeling the smooth skin of the small of her back. I waved my wand at the door, sealing and locking it so that my parents wouldn't walk in on us kissing like this.

She knocked me backwards so that I was on my back, with her practically sitting on top of me, kissing me, hands sliding through my hair.

"Damn," I said as her kisses moved to my neck. I kissed her neck too, wondering how far I could go as I moved along her skin with both my tongue and my teeth. She shivered once and I felt her tongue on my neck as well, before her kisses drifted back up to my mouth and she kissed me there again. Our tongues made a few tentative explorations, before engaging in a full out war I eventually won.

I didn't mean to get so turned on by her, but she knew instantly. I felt myself grow harder, and she felt it too, pulling away to look at me with a speculative glance. Then she dived back into the kiss, sliding her hands to the front of the button down I was wearing. She started to undo the buttons, and I reached up on her blouse to do the same. Undressing each other… well…

"James…" she said after a moment, when both of our shirts were on the floor, and she was just in a beautiful lacy bra and her jeans on top of me. She ran her hands over my chest, over my stomach. "We… can…"

"Lily," I said, sitting up quickly at her words.

"What?" she demanded.

"Are you sure?" I said, resting my forehead against hers.

"I love you," she said.

"That's not what I asked!" I said, putting my arms around her.

"I know what you asked, and my answer is that I love you, and I've never loved anyone before. And I always told myself I would never do it until I found someone that I love," she said. "So yes, I'm sure."

"Are you ready?" I wondered.

"Yes,' she said. "I think so."

"Be _absolutely _certain, Lily," I said, stroking her hair.

"I am," she said certainly.

"Okay," I said. "Then I have something else to tell you."

_Next Chapter: Well I did rate it M for a reason... _


	22. For Modesty's Sake

_**A/N: Okay, so this is what people call lemon. It's lemon. It's smut. It's citrus. It's rated NC-17. It's not for the eyes of children. Whatever. If it completely offends you, I suppose I could be a nice fic author and post like a two sentence summary of what else happens in the chapter at the beginning of the next one. Or you could read until the fun starts, and then go to the bottom and scroll up until you find where the fun ends and just read that. Because I might forget that summary. :)**_

Chapter 22.

Lily:

I looked up at him uncertainly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, putting my hand on the side of his face.

"I'm not… a virgin," he said, looking away, definitely embarrassed.

"Oh…" I said softly.

"I don't want you to think I've slept with every girl—like you used to think I did… because I didn't…" he said, looking back up at me. He was ashamed. He almost couldn't make eye contact. "It was only one other girl, Lily."

"Who?" I said. "I mean… you don't have to tell me."

"She doesn't go to Hogwarts," he said. "She's a year ahead of us, only at Beauxbatons."

"She's French?" I said, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes…" he said. "Elise D'Arc. Her parents are friends of my parents. I've known her since I was young. We went to a party last summer at her family's house in Dijon. And we were chitchatting—Sirius was flirting with some other Veela, I think. And Elise and I got to talking. And I was talking about you… And she told me to get up and get over you and move on with my life. And then she decided to show me how she thought I could do that…"

"Did it work?" I wondered.

"Of course not," he said. "I never could get over you. I'm here now, aren't I? The entire time, all I could think about was you."

"I'm not sure if that should flatter me… or…" I said, thinking for a moment.

"I think flatter you," he said. "Or at least make you realize… I was being stupid, Lily. It was stupid. I've just always wanted you, and I've come close to giving up so many times… and I was stupid… I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't now."

I looked at him for a moment, and then touched his face again. "Well at least one of us will know what to do."

He shook his head. "This time is completely different."

"I don't see how," I said.

"Well I actually care about you. I love you. It's you…" he said. He put his arms around me kissing me again.

I kissed him back and he rolled me onto my back so that he was leaning over me. He kissed my neck carefully, and then drew back a little bit.

"Are you absolutely certain, Lily?" he wondered softly.

"I'm certain, James," I said, pulling him down to kiss me.

He immediately fell back into the kissing, moving his hands down over my stomach to undo the button on my jeans. He pulled my jeans down over my legs, kissing my stomach and then sliding his hands up my thighs. I moved my hands down to his jeans too, and he helped me get the button undone and to pull them down over his suddenly very obvious erection.

"I love you," he said again, kissing my collarbone, then around the edge of my bra. He reached behind me and looked at me once more.

"You have to be certain, Lily."

"I am," I said. "And if you ask one more time, I'm going to start doubting your certainty, James."

He smiled a little. "I'm certain, Lily. I doubt I've ever been this certain about anything in my life."

He pressed his lips to mine again, and I reached up to twist my fingers into his hair as he undid the clasp on my bra. I closed my eyes and rested back on his pillows as he kissed my breasts gently, sliding his hands down my body.

He pulled my panties down as I worked at the waistband of his boxers, drawing them off rapidly.

"You are so beautiful," he said, gently sliding his hand up between my legs, pushing them carefully apart. I whimpered as his fingers pressed against me, his other hand still higher, on my breasts.

I wound my fingers tighter into his hair, and I thought I had to be hurting him, but he didn't wince, and he didn't seem to feel it at all.

"Tell me if I hurt you," he whispered.

"I don't think I would feel it," I whispered as he brushed his fingers over me. I pulled my hands out of his hair to grab the sheets of the bed instead, because I was certain I would start ripping out clumps of hair from his scalp at this point.

He slid his hand up my leg and lifted it, then did the same with the other so that my ankles were hooked on his shoulders. He looked at me sincerely for a moment, his hazel eyes meeting mine. I put my arms around him, pulling him closer.

He pushed inside of me, and I almost wasn't prepared. I gasped at the pain, tears springing to my eyes, a cry catching in my throat.

"Lily?" he said, moaning a little.

"I'm fine," I insisted, clinging to his back as he pulled out slightly and pushed in again. The pain subsided quickly to fire, glorious, wonderful, intense and amazing fire. I clutched him closer thrusting my hips with him.

"Lily…" he moaned, pushing farther in. I moaned gently.

"God, James," I said.

I winced in the occasional burst of pain, but it frequently subsided, before being brought back. His face would flash from absolute ecstasy to concern, and when I thrust my hips again, back to ecstasy. We moved in good synch, with him pushing continually further. I moaned desperately, his name a frequent utterance on my lips, if they weren't preoccupied with kissing

I don't know how long we continued before I came. But he pushed me easily over the edge. I got the impression that he was very good at this, but my inexperienced ways would perhaps say the same for everyone. He had me almost screaming, however, in absolute bliss, which rolled over me in intense waves that he encouraged rapidly, before he came too, joining in.

"Merlin I love you," he said, clutching at my shoulders. He eventually collapsed on top of me, trying not to squish me. He pulled gently away, putting his arms around me gently. He buried his nose against my shoulder, kissing the skin carefully.

"I love you too," I said, reaching over to run my fingers through his hair, a habit that was becoming quite addictive. "That was…"

"And imagine… they all say it gets better over time. Especially for you."

"Ugh," I groaned happily. I rolled to snuggle against his chest. "Awkward question, but do your parents know we're back?"

"I doubt it," he said. "They're very old and don't hear very well, and they tend to get reminiscing and listening to the radio… it's quite romantic, I tell you."

"Perhaps not as romantic as this," I said, resting my cheek against his chest.

"I bloody well hope not!" he said.

-CD-

James:

I kissed her shoulders, stroking her hair as she snoozed peacefully beside me. It wasn't too late into the evening yet, and I was starting to get hungry, but I also sort of wanted a shower. However, attaining both of those would've meant moving away from Lily, who I never actually wanted to let go of for the rest of my life.

She smiled, either awake or in her sleep, I couldn't tell.

"You're getting restless,' she said.

"I am not,' I said. "I could lie here with you forever and be perfectly content."

My stomach growled. She opened her eyes.

"As long as someone were to bring us food," she assumed, sitting up a little. The sheet fell down from covering her and she blushed, trying to pull it up for modesty's sake.

"it's too late, Evans," I said, catching her hand. "I've already seen all you have to offer."

"Yes, well you're the only guy who has ever seen all of that," she said, rolling her eyes and smiling brightly.

"I want a shower," I said. "That way my parents think we just came back and hung out upstairs for a while. Come join me, I'm betting you want one too."

"You are correct," she said, starting to slide carefully away from me.

"Hold up," I said, drawing her in close to me, kissing her and then pulling her off the bed with me. Holding her hand, I led her down the hallway in my room that led to the bathroom. She laughed at the sight of herself in the big mirror.

"Look at my hair…" she said, fingering the tangle of knots that had woven themselves into her beautiful dark locks.

"Still beautiful," I said, putting my arms around her. She sighed, leaning back against me.

"I haven't quite mastered how to get knots out of my hair with magic yet…" she said. "So you're going to have to help me if we don't want to be in the shower for a good three hours. Damn thick hair."

"I can do that," I said. "Or… well help. See I have hair problems that magic can't solve either."

I laughed, and she did too. I let go of her for a moment, leaning over to turn the shower on. She turned around and put her arms around me, kissing me gently.

"I love you," I said again, laughing. "Have I said that yet? I don't think I have. Or at least I haven't pointed it out _enough."_

"I love you too," she said. "I like saying that, because it's true. And I realized that I was being a bitch to you, and now I don't have to be."

"Oh, Evans we all know that you're going to keep being a bitch," I said, laughing. She poked me in the chest, and the well-manicured, and yet sharp nails, which I hadn't felt as she clutched my back earlier—but apparently they had left a few red marks—felt worse in my skin when I wasn't numbed by how good I felt.

"Ouch," I said, laughing a little.

She laughed with me. And I pulled her into the shower.

-CD-

James:

I shot my wand at the back of her head, drying her hair, smoothing it out into perfect red-brown waves. She smiled at me, pulling her blouse on and buttoning it.

"You look beautiful, of course," I said, fingering her earrings, which had subsided to a lighter red, more clear.

"What does that mean?" she wondered.

"Just love," I said.

She smiled brightly and turned around to button my shirt, which was hanging open.

"Come on," I said. "My parents are going to be so shocked that we're here, just you watch."

W went down the stairs and into the living room, where my parents were, as I suspected, listening to the wizard radio.

"When did you get back James?" Mum wondered when we walked inside.

"Not too long ago," I said, lying through my teeth.

"Oh and you brought the lovely Lily with you," Mum said happily. "How are you dear?"

"I'm wonderful, thank you," Lily said. "How are you, Mrs. Potter?"

"I'm wonderful too, Lily, thank you," Mum said brightly.

"Did you and your family have a happy Christmas so far?" Dad asked her.

"My mother and father and I get along very well," Lily said. "But if you throw my sister and her fiance into the mix, tensions tend to run high. So it was wonderful until about Christmas dinner time, when the charming Vernon decided to make an appearance."

"Oh well that's too bad," Mum said. "I'm sure your parents are wonderful."

"Oh my _parents _are absolutely wonderful," Lily said.

-CD-

_Next Chapter: "I decided I really didn't feel like dealing with the Muggles in my life for once." _


	23. An Honest Liar

_**A/N: I will post again tomorrow, and actually on Wednesday too. Then it's back to my every other day schedule. **_

Chapter 23.

James:

I looked at Lily, sleeping in my bed. When she realized she ought to go home, she started to get very worried. She didn't want to talk to her sister, and I had a feeling she already knew she was going to get in a row with her parents. I didn't know what it would be for, seeing as it was the Muggle arse's fault, but I couldn't actually say. And so my mother, seeing her upset, offered her the guest room for the evening, which effectively meant I stayed in the guest room with Lily until the lights went out, and I took her back to my room.

She fell asleep quickly in a big t-shirt I let her borrow. I stayed awake, listening carefully for the crack that would signal Padfoot's return from Emmeline. My parents weren't ever mad at him for returning late, they knew him, and they knew it was sort of impossible to impose curfews on him, or even rules for that matter. He behaved himself and never did anything exceedingly wrong.

There was a loud crack, muffled by the walls. I walked down the hall into the next room myself, pushing the door open without knocking.

"Hey," he said, pulling his shirt off and finding a t-shirt to put on.

"Hey," I said. "How were Emmeline's parents?"

"Very nice," he said. "Lily's?"

"Her sister and her sister's fiance proceeded to call us both freaks and so we came back here, and Lily's spending the night," I explained.

He waggled his eyebrows, laughing. "Spending the night, huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes."

"Getting any action in there? Then again, if you were, I doubt you would be standing here talking to me about Christmas with my girlfriend. Still keeping her legs crossed?"

I cleared my throat awkwardly.

"Apparently not," he crowed, walking over and raising his hand in a high five. I grudgingly raised my hand and slapped his.

"right," I said.

"So you're telling me you weren't just standing here the whole time, bursting to say that, James?" he said, snickering a little.

I shrugged.

"A little extra Christmas gift, I suppose," he said.

"She would kill me if she knew I just told you that," I said.

"She ought to meet a few blokes," he said. "We gossip like women about this sort of thing… At least you're a generally decent guy otherwise."

"Generally," I agreed.

"All right," he said. "And since you asked me this about my girlfriend, I'll ask about yours: is she good?"

"She's pretty damn good," I said. "From what I can tell. We're just both sort of inexperienced."

"Well you don't have anything judge by, really, 'cept for Elise, and I'm sure she was a whole different type of experience," he said, chuckling a little.

"She was… well I think I was actually just a little overwhelmed with that," I said, shrugging.

"I would've been too. She impresses me as the sort to be _very _experienced," he said, chuckling a little.

"Yeah, just a little," I said, rolling my eyes.

-CD-

James:

"Are they going to be mad?" I wondered as we stood on the Evan's front porch, taking a deep breath before she opened the door. She'd stayed all night, and it was just before nine on Boxing Day.

"Oh, not at me," she said, which wasn't very reassuring.

"Great," I said. She pulled the door open, and I followed her inside.

"Lily!" Mrs. Evans shouted, descending on us from the dining room.

"Mum," Lily said.

"Why didn't you come home?" Mrs. Evans demanded, crossing her arms.

"I decided I really didn't feel like dealing with the Muggles in my life for once," Lily said. I wasn't sure if that was meant to be insulting or what.

"Oh charming, _he's _here," Mr. Evans said, appearing down the hallway, glaring at me. "So what do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Potter?"

"Uh—" I said, moving to reply.

"Because first you get into a row, consequently fighting my daughter and her fiance, and then you leave with my other daughter and keep her out all night, bringing her home in the morning," Mr. Evans said, walking down the hallway toward us. Suddenly he seemed very tall to me.

"Mr. Evans…" I said.

"Dad!" Lily said. "Good lord on high leave him alone."

"Don't tell me what to do," Mr. Evans said. "I thought I liked your boyfriend, but I truly don't know anymore.'

"Dad…" Lily said.

"Lily," he said, glaring at her.

"Mr. Evans, could I talk to you?" I wondered.

He sort of glared at me. But heaved a sigh. "Talk."

"Why don't we sit down?" I said. "Because I think there are some things you should know about me."

Lily's mother took her into the other room, and Mr. Evans and I sat down at the dining room table.

"I'm going to put this out here first thing," I said. "Mr. Evans, I love your daughter. I met Lily in my first year, and I've always been just completely enthralled by her. As we grew up, I realized that I liked her as more than a friend. And she loathed me. I've always been a bit arrogant, and I'll accept that, and it took me a while to realize that perhaps the world didn't revolve around me. But I've never exactly been anything that Lily liked.

"Until this year. Somehow, miraculously, she realized that she likes me too. I love her, Mr. Evans. I love her, and in some miraculous, crazy way, she loves me too. So I consider myself to be the luckiest man in the world right now… I mean I don't have to tell you everything that is amazing about Lily. She's beautiful, and intelligent, and kind, and funny, and she has the perfect amount of diabolical in her for the two of us to get along. It took no time for her to mean everything to me." Mr. Evans continued to just watch me, smiling a little.

"There are a lot of bad things happening in the wizarding world, Mr. Evans. I don't know if you know about that. But your amazing and brave daughter… well she doesn't let it frighten her. But it frightens me. I think about my friends, and I think about my family, and then I think about her. I don't want any of them to get hurt, especially her. I can't even fathom… if anything or anyone ever tried to hurt her, I would go insane. I won't let them do it. And in comparison, I understand that what happened yesterday is quite slim. But when your future son in law said those things to her—things that were as equally targeted toward me and the rest of my friends and family as they were to her—well I couldn't just let him say it, could I? She was hurt after what happened, and I can't stand it…."

He looked at me dead on for a moment, contemplating. "You truly care for her?"

"Yes, sir," I said. "More than anything in my life. She is as important to me as my schoolwork, as my future."

He nodded. "I can tell. It's in the way you talk about her."

I smiled. "I hope so. I don't feel like I can convey it well enough."

"However I do have a problem with her not coming home last night," he said. "and then showing up here in the wee hours of the morning with you."

"Like I said, she was very upset last night," I said. "When she realized it was time to go home… she didn't want to risk running into her sister or Vernon… and my mum offered her the _guest _room where she slept."

"You're honestly asking me to believe that when my daughter spent the night at your house you two remained in completely separate rooms all night long. You a teenage boy. And she a teenage girl?"

"Mr. Evans?" I said.

"Yes?" he said.

"Would you rather I lie or tell you that I shared a bed with your daughter all night?" I wondered.

He shook his head. "Oh lord…"

"I'm sorry," I said. "I just have a hard time being away from her sometimes."

"You managed to do it for a few days between school and yesterday," he said.

"Yes, and see I had to make up for lost time," I said. "I'll be honest with you, Mr. Evans, every time you want me to be, but if you'd rather I lie, just let me know."

"You're very frank," he pointed out.

"I'm not going to mess around and risk screwing things up with Lily," I said.

"The only way you could screw things up is to hurt her. As long as she wants to be with you, I trust her. She's intelligent and can choose for herself who to be with. And I can see that you truly care about her."

"More than you know," I said.

He nodded. "You love her then?"

"Yes," I said.

"And you're sincere about that?" he said.

"Yes," I said.

"All right," he said. "I think you know why I'm a little upset. But I understand you very well James. You're a good man."

'Thank you, sir," I said.

"Lily?" he called.

Lily shuffled hesitantly into the room. She asked tentatively, "Yes?"

"I approve," he said. "Don't stay out all night again without telling me."

He walked out of the room, leaving the two of us alone in the dining room.

"What did you do?" Lily hissed, sitting down, eyes wide. "Did you confund him?"

"No!" I said. "My wands safely in my coat pocket, Lily." I showed her and she just shook her head.

"Are you kidding me?" she said. "My dad has never once said he approves of Vernon. You should've seen him the first time he met Vernon… oh my… and then when he found out Vernon and Petunia were engaged… he was livid. Dad went on a very long rant about how common courtesy was gone, and that he ought to have asked my father for Petunia's hand."

"I'll just follow Vernon's lead and do everything opposite of what he does," I said, shrugging. "Easy."

She laughed a looked over her shoulder, before leaning down to kiss me. I instantly put my arms around her, pulling her closer. She sat down on my lap, arms around my neck.

"Damn I love you," I told her, laughing, then kissing her again.

"Just because I said I approve does not mean I condone this behavior," her father said huffily, walking back through the room.

Lily pulled away from me for a moment, looking at her father. "Dad, I'm seventeen. I'm of age in the world I live in."

"But you're not of age in this house," he said, sternly, but I could see him grinning somewhat.

"Dad, Dad, Dad," she said. "Be thankful I'm kissing him and not another Vernon."

"I never…" Mr. Evans said. "I never said anything bad about Vernon."  
>"Dad?" Lily said. "Are you being serious right now?"<p>

"Fine," he said. "I really don't like him and I already know I like James better, but don't tell you sister that."

I laughed, glad that I had earned his seal of approval despite having had as sleepover with his daughter.

_Next Chapter: "_Whether this was the work of Death Eaters or impersonators- _I mean honestly, are they daft? Do they think _we're _daft?" _


	24. The War

**_A/N: This is the longest and most depressing chapter thus far. BUt essential, nonetheless. _**

Chapter 24.

Lily:

"The paper," Emmeline said, throwing the _Prophet _down in front of me.

"Wh-?" I said, sliding it across my kitchen table. She sat down aggressively.

"Page four," she said strictly.

I flipped the paper open, landing on page four.

"Top."

I looked at the top article. "_Andrew McKinnon, aged 23, was found dead in London on the evening of December the 26__th__. It appears that McKinnon had been murdered, and over his house the Dark Mark was cast. Whether this was the work of Death Eaters…"_

"Marlene's brother?" I said, putting the paper down.

"She's in hysterics," Emmeline said.

"And why are we sitting at my kitchen table?" I demanded, standing up quickly.

"She told me not to come over yet. She and her other brother, Simon, got into a row with their mum… about whether or not she could join the Order when the time came and whether or not Simon can remain in it... Things are a little tense right now. Obviously, Simon told her she couldn't tell him what to do anymore—seeing as he is twenty-one—and he stormed off, and Marlene says he was going to take over Andrew's job, whatever it was, but apparently Dumbledore needs him."

"Oh my god," I said, putting my head in my hands. "I feel horrible. I don't know about you, but it makes me want to join the Order more."

"I agree," she said, sliding the paper away from me and folding it up.

"Why isn't that front page news? And _whether this was the work of Death Eaters or impersonators… _I mean, honestly, are they daft? Do they think we are daft?"

"Apparently," she said. "Look, do you want to go to her house anyway? I think she just doesn't want us to see her family fighting, but she probably needs us."

"We should let Alice know too," I said.

She nodded. "Come on. Let's head over there."

"Let me just tell my parents I'm leaving," I said, ducking into the other room.

"Mum?" I said. "Emmeline and I are going over to Marlene's." I tried to keep my hands from shaking as I said that.

"Okay," Mum said, looking up at me. She frowned. "What's wrong, Lily?"

"Marlene's brother was found dead, Mum… we have to go see her," I said.

"Found dead?" Dad said, looking up. "Was he sick?"

"No…" I said. "He was murdered."

"Murdered?" Mum said, eyes growing to the size of dinner plates. "Lily…"

"Can I explain when I come home?" I wondered.

"Yes…" Mum said. "Go comfort her."

I went back into the kitchen, and Emmeline took a deep breath. "Ready?"

"Ready," I said. We both turned on the spot. The McKinnon's house, in a suburb of London running rampant with magic, was a gloomy sight when we reappeared in front of it. Professor McGonagall was coming down the front steps, and for the first time in my life, I saw her resolve broken. She dapped gently at her eyes with a handkerchief, monogrammed with a golden M.

"Good morning, ladies," she said, pulling her cloak more tightly around herself and turning in the wind.

"Oh my…" Emmeline said, reaching up to knock on the door of the house.

Mr. McKinnon pulled the door open.

"Hello, Lily, Emmeline," he said kindly.

"Hi, Mr. McKinnon," I said. "We're so sorry…"

"Thank you girls for coming," he said. "Marlene is in the sitting room if you would like to come in."

"Of course," Emmeline said, leading the way over the threshold. Sitting at the dining room table to our right was Mrs. McKinnon and Marlene's grandmother, who was rubbing her back. Across the table from her was none other than Albus Dumbledore who appeared to be in between words of wisdom and solace, giving the woman a moment to collect herself. He tipped his head to the both of us, and Mr. McKinnon went to put a soothing hand on his wife's shoulder.

I led the way deeper into the house, finding Marlene curled up on the sofa in the sitting room.

"You guys came," she said, uncurling herself when she saw us.

"We couldn't just sit at home," Emmeline said. We sat on either side of our best friend.

"Are you all right?" I asked. "I mean, I realize that a dumb question… but you know what I mean?"

"I'm just mad," she said. "I want to get those sick bastards so badly."

"Dumbledore's here," I pointed out.

"I know," she said. "He came right through the door, spoke his kind apologies to my parents, and blew right in to talk to me and Simon. Which then caused the row, where Simon stormed off, and Dumbledore had to calm me down, and now he's calming my mother down, and it's not working. She thinks we're all going to be slaughtered, one after the other. She wants Simon out of the Order, and she wishes I knew nothing about it. Dumbledore told me that he wants me in, because… oh I don't know… I sort of tuned him out for a moment once I found out he was on my side, and then he was speaking all of his words of wisdom and such…"

"That's Dumbledore for you," I said.

I put an arm around her. "We're so sorry, Marley."

"I know…" she said. "It just… it's horrible. He's my brother. And now all I want is to get back at them… I don't know… And I'm scared for Simon. And my family."

"We're all starting to get scared Marlene," Emmeline said. "I think that's _why _we join the Order. Because we're all afraid for our families, at this point. Anything could happen to them… And that scares me."

"I scares us all. Me as well, even though I'm muggle-born," I said. "Voldemort hates muggles and muggle borns alike."

"All the more reason to join the Order," Marlene said.

-CD-

Lily:

I walked in the front door of my house, stomping my feet on the rug just inside to get the snow off. I pulled my cloak off and sent it to hang up with a wave of my wand. Shaking more snow out of my hair, I headed into the house, knowing I had promised my parents an explanation.

I had hoped, if I could, to avoid talk of the wizarding world and all of its problems with my parents. I didn't want them to worry. I supposed, however, that it was beginning to encroach upon inevitability.

"Hello," Mum said to me when I walked in and settled on the sofa, brigning my feet up underneath me.

"Hi," I said.

"Well?" she said. "How is Marlene?"

"She's really upset," I said. "Obviously. And so is Mrs. McKinnon and the rest of the family."

"Of course. Do you think there's anything we could do for them?" she wondered.

"Right now, I don't know," I said.

"What a horrible Christmas," Dad said gravely. "How did he die? Who killed him, do they know?"

"Death Eaters," I said.

Dad turned in his chair to really look at me. "_Death Eaters?"_

"Formerly known as the Knights of Walpurgis," I said. "Would you like me to explain?"

"Yes," Dad said. "I would like a very thorough explanation."

"Alright," I said, clearing my throat. "There have been a lot of bad people in history. Notably, Adolf Hitler, some would say Stalin, but I'm talking more along the lines of Hitler. People that are just horrible to the core. Hitler was a racial elitist, targeting Jews… we know all this. He set out to purify the race of men, or purify it in his opinion."

"Is this relevant?" Mum wondered.

"Everything I say is relevant," I said. "Well there is this man in the wizarding world—a wizard, obviously. He went to Hogwarts in the forties. His name was Tom Riddle. In his years in school, he started gathering a group of followers, who referred to themselves as the Knights of Walpurgis… He began to go by the name of Lord Voldemort.

"It's common in Slytherin history, since Salazar Slytherin himself, to favor pure-blood wizards—wizards whose blood is completely magical, and can't be traced back to a single muggle. Basically, the opposite of what I am. Slytherin didn't believe that muggle-borns should be taught at Hogwarts. He was all for blood purity and keeping both Hogwarts and Slytherin pure. The other four founders ended up kicking him out because of it.

"However, the ideals of Salazar Slytherin have always led to a strict selection for those admitted to his house—meaning definitely no muggle-borns. And most of the people in there have had families in there, probably ancestors dating back to the days of Slytherin himself. And a lot of them get in their heads that they're better than the rest of us, that magic should be kept free of muggle blood, and that wizards are naturally superior to both muggles and muggle borns. It's a crazy pure-blood state of mind some of them have going for them. Not all though, I mean, James is a pure blood. He has no muggle blood in his bones anywhere. So obviously, they're not always obnoxious about the purity thing.

" However, this Tom Riddle, or Voldemort, as I'll refer to him for all intensive purposes from this point forth, took these elitist ideals to the extreme. He gathered friends that felt the same, or were too stupid or afraid of him not to go along with it—the Knights of Walpurgis."

James had told me all of this one afternoon in November, when the two of us were sitting out in the courtyard with a warm floating flame heating us comfortably. He had been very adamant one day, when kids started boasting about being Death Eaters and torturing others. He actually walked right up to Dumbledore's office and demanded a real good explanation, deeper than the ones his parents had attempted to give him. And Dumbledore, much to James's surprise, gave it to him.

"And now they've been slowly gaining power and renown since their days in school. They started becoming prominent in the early seventies. They would launch a cruel attack on Muggles. A name was coined for them—no one really is sure where it came from—The Death Eaters. Followers of Lord Voldemort. They've built power rapidly, like a snowball rolling down a hill for the last seven years, starting to kill muggles, muggle borns, and anyone that really stands in their way."

"Should we be afraid for you, honey?" Dad said. "You are a muggle-born."

"I'm not going to run away from it…" I said.

"But if you're not safe," Mum said.

"I'm not going to run away from it," I said again, more firmly. "Let me continue?"

They both nodded.

"There is one organization of people that works against Lord Voldemort, spying, trying to get inside of him, take him down, fighting him, protecting things no one wants him to have. It's called the Order of the Phoenix. The head of the Order is my headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. Marlene's older brother, who just died, was a member, so is her other brother. I know of others. Many of my professors, actually. And it's an honorable fight. Like any war, really, only more complicated and more conniving."

"How did you learn about this… _Order?" _Mum wondered. "Your headmaster is not recruiting is he?"

"He won't let anyone in school join, and he doesn't widely advertize his involvement or the involvement of others... but if you're curious, he won't keep anything from you, and he keeps James and me informed because we are the Head Boy and Girl of the school. He wants to make sure we're aware in case there are any Death Eater wannabes roaming the school. James and Dumbledore are the two that have really brought me up to speed on everything, not just what I read in the paper…"

"How much does James know about it?" Dad asked.

"A lot," I said. "He's already basically a part of the Order, or would be if he was out of school," I said. "We have a group of students in the school that are keen on trying to keep the number of budding Death Eaters in check, or knocking sense into them if they do something stupid…"

"Lily, are you going to attempt to join this Order when you finish school?" Mum demanded.

I looked at them for a moment, wondering which direction to go. I decided with utter truth. "Yes, Mum."

"And Marlene's older brother was part of this organization?" she said.

"Yes…" I said.

"And so you could potentially be killed by these Death Eaters?" Dad wondered.

"There is a risk with it," I said. "But I can't just sit by and watch it happen, Dad. Didn't hear what I said? This wizard targets muggle-borns, Mum. And muggles. He would sooner kill me than look at me so I didn't soil his eyes."

"Which makes you even more vulnerable, Lily!" Dad said.

"I know, Dad, but I'm talented, and I can stand up for people who can't necessarily stand up for themselves. I'm good, and Dumbledore says he would be lucky to have me—and that my idea. I barely knew about the Order before I said that. Look, this Voldemort… he's a big deal. People are dying. Not just Andrew McKinnon… many more before him, and many more to come for Merlin knows how long."

"I just don't want you to be one of those many more," Mum said.

"Don't worry about me, Mum. This is a decision I have to make for myself. I know in your world I'm not of age, but I am almost. I'm of age in the wizarding world. This is for me to decide."

"What about a job?" Dad said. "Would this take away from that?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I would be able to still become an auror. And they would probably help each other—being in the Order and being an auror."

She and Dad nodded.

"Do we get any say in this at all?" Dad wondered.

I shrugged. "I'd love to hear your opinions. You are my parents'

"Yes, but would you listen to us?" Mum wondered. "Or have you already made up your mind?"

"I'm not going to change my mind now."

_Next Chapter: "So this is the fame invisibilty cloak. Kind of cozy, isn't it?" _


	25. Nestor the Nosy

**_A/N: My postings are catching up to my writing. this is not good. _**

Chapter 25.

James:

"Hey there Moony, how was your Christmas?" I asked, dumping the stuff I'd taken home onto my bed to put back away.

"I celebrated a little late. Full moon was on Christmas," he said, rolling his eyes and stretching. He had a slash down the side of his face that looked like it had just started to heal.

"Ouch," I said, cringing.

"Yeah," he said. "It happens."

"We have a very important thing to talk to you about," Sirius announced, coming out of the bathroom with his toothbrush still in his hand.

"What would that be?" Moony wondered, straightening the wrinkles in one of his Gryffindor ties with a wave of his wand.

"Well we were just wondering why you didn't tell us you were getting laid last year," Padfoot contributed, flopping onto his bed and throwing his toothbrush into the air. Moony froze. He turned around slowly.

"She told you?" he said, gaping.

"Yes," Padfoot said.

"And naturally you told James because you two blab more than Ravenclaws," Moony said, rolling his eyes.

"Naturally," I said.

"Why didn't you share?" Padfoot wondered.

"Because unlike you, I have the maturity to realize that sleeping with someone is not something that you should celebrate with your friends like you've conquered the world, and James if Lily knew this conversation was happening, I'm certain that she would agree with me. Especially if you've started sleeping with her."

He walked out of the tower then, clearly angry at us. I looked at Padfoot.

"Must be his time of the month," he joked.

I was quiet for a moment, knowing that Remus was probably right, actually. Lily would be mad if she knew that within hours of sleeping with her the first time, I told Sirius about it and he high-fived me… It wasn't as if I felt like I'd conquered Everest or anything. I wasn't boasting like I thought I was amazing because I was the one that got the virgin, Lily Evans. That wasn't how I felt about it. It was just a… guy thing.

"Emmeline probably wouldn't be that pleased to hear it either…" I said thoughtfully.

Padfoot chucked a pillow at me. "Shut up, Prongs. You know, you're not all that fun anymore. Head Boy."

I rolled my eyes. "Talk about time of the month. You're whining like a Hufflepuff."

"You are Hufflepuff," he said, rolling his eyes back at me. "Go fuck your girlfriend, why don't you?"

I flipped him the bird and left the room, headed to find Lily or maybe Remus again, or Peter, who was always the most efficient at unpacking.

Lily and Remus were sitting, with Peter, all in one place. The three of them were by the fireplace in the common room—I knew Lily, despite her sweet and kindhearted demeanor—would go to extremes to get the chairs by the fire. Peter occupied the other chair, and Remus was sprawled on the floor, picking at the rug. He sort of shot me a look as I picked Lily up under her armpits and slid underneath her. She curled up against my chest.

"I love you," I told her.

"So you two are at the love stage?" Moony wondered.

"Yes," I said.

"Took you long enough," he said. "I'm glad you two are together."

Moody Moony, good lord. Make up your mind—do you hate me or like me?

"Moony," Lily said. "Go talk to Marlene. She's sick of me and Em and Alice, and she likes you…"

"Isn't she with Aidan?" he wondered.

"I don't even know what's up with them," I said. "Go on, she needs someone to talk to."

I didn't think it was a good idea to share then that Remus usually slept with girls after he comforted them. Not at that moment.

"You know, there are many things that James had right about you," he commented. "You are bossy."

He got up and walked over to where Marlene was sitting by the window.

"How's she doing?' I wondered.

"She's a lot better. She's planning to avenge his murder," Lily replied. "And when she starts to get diabolical about things—no matter the situation—it usually means she's in a good mood. But I think Remus would be good for her."

"I see," I said, looking over at the pair of them.

"Hey, Peter?" Lily said.

Peter looked up at her from his book. "Yeah?"

"Didn't you want to go ask Sirius that Charms question?" she wondered.

"Uh…" he said. "Can't I just ask you? You're the best in our year at Charms."

Lily sighed. "No. I think you ought to ask Sirius."

Wormtail narrowed his eyes. "Fine. I'll let the two of you make out."

"We need to get him a girlfriend," I commented.

"Agreed," Lily said, stretching her neck up to kiss me carefully on the lips.

I kissed her back, pulling her into me, if that was at all possible. There was very little space between us to begin with. She was, after all, sitting on my lap.

"You're beautiful," I told her. She needed to know that, and I couldn't tell her that enough.

"Thanks," she said, leaning her head against my shoulder, so that her nose was in my neck.

I stroked her hair gently, keeping her in my arms.

-CD-

James:

"And where do you think you're going?" she demanded, rolling onto her back and looking up at me. The guys were mildly annoyed by the fact that I had invited her to sleep in my bed, because I didn't want to let go of her. Mostly, what bothered them was her changing the smell of our dormitory, but once she pointed out that it smelled like teenage guy and used her wand to make it smell more like _attractive _teenage guy—or her definition of attractive teenage guy—I realized what we had been missing. And the other's grudgingly did too, though hadn't admitted it.

I stopped, mid-buttoning my shirt.

"I can't sleep," I whispered.

"Talk to me," she said.

"I don't want to wake them up," I hissed, picking my map up off of the bedside table. I dug around in my trunk, lifting out my cloak. When I turned around, she was pulling her sweater over her head, on top of her pajamas.

"I'm coming with you," she said, switching her pajama bottoms out for her jeans.

"Oh…" I said.

"Do you not want me to come?" she wondered, sitting down on the bed as she fished for her trainers.

"No, I do," I said. "it's just weird, because most of my nighttime wandering… it's usually alone. My mother diagnosed me as an insomniac when I was little, because I would just walk around the house all evening and she would find me in the morning where I finally curled up on a couch, fast asleep."

"But you go out with Sirius, Remus and Peter all the time too," she pointed out.

"That is true," I said. "At least once a week, we all end up awake, exploring the castle. That's how we made this map. _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." _The map responded to my words and touch by providing me with its contents.

We walked down to the common room, and I climbed through the portrait hole, ready to wrap us both in the cloak when she came through.

"So this is the famed invisibility cloak," she said, when we were hunkered close under the silk layers.

"Yes it is," I said.

"Kind of cozy," she commented, almost treading on my feet.

"I know," I said. "When we were little, we used to cram all four of us under this thing."

"I can't even imagine," she said.

"But then we grew," I said, laughing a little.

"I can see how that would cause a problem." She grinned up at me. "Where are we going?"

I flipped the map over, pointing to a spot on the other side of the castle.

"There,' I said, tapping twice.

"What is that?" she wondered. "Is that by the Astronomy tower?"

"One tower over," I said. "There's a secret room behind a portrait of Nestor the Nosy." I caught site of the amusement on her face and grinned. "Oh yes, Nestor the Nosy. Whose obscene curiosity was ultimately the cause of his demise—I looked him up."

"What was he curious about?" she wondered.

"Spells to decrease hormonal reactions in women at a certain time of the month," I said. "And ultimately, the inventor of the birth control potions and spells used commonly today, as well as the potions and spells that make your time of the month a little easier for you. However, one day he attempted to experiment up close and personal, hoping to get a front row seat to the actions of a certain poultice he was using, and the woman he was violating shot a blasting spell that sent him backwards, crashing into a wall, where a massive book case proceeded to fall on him and crush the life out of him."

"What a twisted story," she commented. "Makes me a little less keen on using his potions, the pervert."

"Oh his things all work. He just liked to get to know his test subjects very well," I said, chuckling a little.

"Oh ha ha," she said, rolling her eyes. 'It's hilarious, James."

"Well I'm not saying I approve of his actions. I'm just incredulous that he managed to invent all those potions, but was mad enough to try anything with a witch—who was obviously very talented at blasting curse," I said.

"Oh yes the man was clearly a savant," she said, rolling her eyes yet again.

I chuckled. We walked in almost silence across the stone floor. When we reached the passageway, I tapped the corners of the portrait with my wand. It opened up and Lily and I stepped inside. I waved my wand to light up the cramped space beyond, and I closed the portrait behind us.

"Go on up," I said, pulling the cloak off completely. I waved my wand to a narrow stone staircase, the only fixture of this small room. At the top of it was an old wooden door, with a black latch. She started up the stairs with me close behind her, pulling the door open and climbing through, trying to avoid hitting her head.

"Oh my…" she said, as soon as she was completely through the door. The small circular room we had entered had mostly floor to ceiling windows, arched, cut into the stone. They looked out over the snow-covered lawn, which glimmered silvery blue in the wan moonlight. In the lake, the moon was reflected, a sliver of itself cut into the water.

"It's an amazing view, isn't it?" I said.

"I never knew this room existed," she breathed, pressing her forehead against the glass.

"I know," I said. "Most people don't know about it. I stumbled across it one night. It's actually in a book in the library there, an obscure version of _Hogwarts, A History."_

"Really?" she said.

"Yep," I said. "Rumor has it that it was used by Gryffindor and Ravenclaw as a place where they frequently… well there really is no other word for it—fornicated."

"You're kidding!" she said, aghast.

"I wouldn't joke about the founders," I said gravely. "Despite her marriage to another man, and his own wife Melody, Rowena Ravenclaw and Godric Gryffindor had quite a fun time with each other in their early days. Again, as rumor has it, the relationship was started before their marriages, but not exactly halted afterward…"

"And to think the respect I had for them…" she said, shaking her head.

"I just don't think about it," I said. "Because honestly it was a good thousand years ago. Records have been changed a bit here and there, sometimes to make someone look better than someone else. Who knows. It could've been a Slytherin rumor. Or a neglected Hufflepuff rumor."

She laughed a little. "The view definitely cancels out the odd fact that this was a place where two very well admired individuals had a good time… a thousand years ago."

"Doesn't it?" I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms around her. Nighttime wanderings were better with her.

_Next Chapter: "Why do you have a _rat _on your shoulder?" she demanded. _


	26. Do You Have a Rat on Your Shoulder?

**_A/N: I forgot to mention this a long time ago: The List was a title I put on this because no one ever wants to read a fic that's called "Temporarily Untitled." So I slapped it on there at the beginning because it was in the first sentence and whatever. I will change the title to the real title at the end, once I complete this, so as to not confuse anyone with updates of a story they've never really seen before. Anyway, on, to the actual chapter. _**

Chapter 26.

Lily:

Determination to catch him in the act fueled my actions. I was becoming a snoop very gradually, and perhaps a little depressingly, on my own boyfriend.

As the full moon of January rolled around on a Tuesday, I posed a stake-out. Arming myself with a potions essay due Friday, and a steaming cup of coffee taken from the kitchens, I plopped in the chair, to wait for the disappearance of James, Sirius, and Peter to begin.

"I need bed," James said. "See you in the morning, love."

He leaned down to kiss me. If he wanted to be a better liar, he could remember that I knew he stayed up until three most nights, and in truth, I doubted that even he would find it in him, no matter how tired, to go to bed at eight.

"Good night," I said, kissing him quickly.

He grinned, heading upstairs.

I watched over the top of my Potions book as Sirius informed Emmeline of his last-minute trip to the library for the Transfiguration essay due tomorrow that he had apparently forgotten about. I'd seen him do it yesterday. He hadn't forgotten. As he disappeared out of the portrait hole, Peter headed upstairs, on a quest for, he told me when I asked, a deck of cards, perhaps, to play Muggle solitaire with.

I watched the stairs to the boys' dormitory like a hawk. I could've counted the number of times I blinked in an hour on one hand alone. Or at least I liked to think I was that vigilant. Emmeline disappeared to take a shower, and Marlene had to write a letter to her mum. Frank and Alice were making out in the corner. I had nothing better to do with myself than to write my essay and wait for James to reappear, to sneak out.

I knew he, Sirius, and Peter were going somewhere, and I knew that it directly related to Remus's predicament. He had the cloak, which made it easier, but I doubted that he and clumsy Peter could make it stealthily down the stairs without revealing a sliver of trainer to me at least.

At quarter past nine, I dropped my essay on the floor, standing up quickly. I strode across the room, taking the stone steps to the boys' dormitory in a huff. I pushed open the door to reveal not only an absence of James and Peter, but Alice and Frank in a position I didn't really want to see.

"Learn how to use a sealing charm!" I barked, slamming the door behind me and dropping down on the steps. I didn't see how they could make it past me. Peter could barely walk across the flat floor without tumbling on his face, let alone make it down the stairs and remain concealed by the cloak as well, without hurting himself and James, and any one else that got in the way.

So, after running down the stairs to grab my essay again, I performed a spell to make the steps more comfortable, and settled myself across them as if they were a chaise. If they wanted to come back, they would have to climb over me, and I could go all night with my essay if I had to. No one said I couldn't write it twice. And even if I did fall asleep, they would probably make a lot of noise, or, if Peter was involved, fall over me and potential knock the wind out of me with a dangerous flailing elbow.

-CD-

James:

"High five for very few injuries!" Padfoot said, ducking out from underneath the cloak. The Fat Lady looked down at him.

"You do realize that it's about four thirty in the morning, right?" she asked sternly, putting her hand on her hips.

"Yes," he said. "And the password is Kneazle."

She swung open, and we scrambled through, Peter riding with his claws digging into my shoulder.

The common room was empty. We walked right through and started up the stairs to the dormitory for a few stolen hours of sleep. I draped the cloak over my shoulder, letting Wormtail continue to ride on my shoulder, knowing he would make too much noise if he changed back into human form.

"You've got to be joking," Padfoot said as soon as we were by our dormitory. Sleeping carefully on one of the steps, a roll of parchment spread out next to her, one step up, was Lily.

I laughed. "Nosy."

"You think?" Padfoot said. "Merlin she must not trust you at all."

"No she has a hard time minding her own business," I said.

Padfoot stretched out his long legs to attempt to climb over her. She stirred before he could get his feet solidly on the other side.

"James!" she said.

"Hi, Lily," I said. "Good morning."

"Did I fall asleep here?" she wondered.

"Apparently," I said, offering a hand out to her.

She stood up, rolling her shoulders, and then she jumped back.

"What?" I wondered.

"Why do you have a _rat _on your shoulder?" she demanded, pointing.

"Oh Merlin," Padfoot said, squeezing past her. He laughed a little. "Good luck, mate."

Wormtail turned his head to look at me.

"Should I tell her?" I asked, causing Lily to look at me incredulously.

"Despite the fact that you are talking to a rat…" she said. "Well I would like the truth, please."

I picked the rat up off of my shoulder, setting him down gently on the stairs.

"Go ahead, Wormtail," I said.

Lily stared at me.

Peter reappeared quickly in his human form, and Lily stared.

"You have _got _to be kidding me," she said.

"No," I said. She gaped at Peter for a moment, who just shrugged and turned to head into the dormitory.

"Well what do you turn into, a goat?" she wondered, rolling her eyes.

"A stag actually," I said.

She stared at me. "A _stag. _Okay, yep. I'm still dreaming."

"No," I said. "You're not.'  
>She shook her head. "I must be. You're talking about turning into a big fat deer here."<p>

"Big, lean and muscled deer," I contradicted.

"Show me," she ordered.

"Make sure no one's coming," I ordered right back at her. She gave me a stern look and stared in both directions.

"No one's coming and I'll obliviate anyone who does come," she said. "Prove it to me."

I changed into my stag form, right in front of her, and she just stared at me. My vastness made it necessary for her to press flat against the wall. When she didn't say anything for a long time, and we just stared at each other, I changed back.

"Definitely dreaming," she said.

"You're not dreaming," I told her, putting my hands on her shoulders. "I change into a stag—Prongs. Peter into a rat—Wormtail. And Sirius into this great big black dog—Padfoot."

"So you're all animagi?" she concluded.

"Yes," I said.

"Unregistered animagi?" she asked.

"They don't let you become them until you're of age, and well we've been animagi since fifth year," he said. "Fourth year? Fifth year… one of the two. I don't know it all sort of blurs together."

"Oh my god…" she said. "Why?"

"Why?" I said. "Did you see the size of me? Can't you guess Lily?"

"You go with Remus," she determined instantly. "Oh are you stupid James? That's how you got that massive cut…"

"Yeah, but we're usually okay," I said.

"You're really stupid," she informed me.

"Come on, now. What made me deserving of that?" I demanded. "I accomplished something at a young age that a lot of people can never accomplish. How does that make me stupid?"

"You're not using your brain. You're going to get yourself hurt. Or bitten. Or killed," she snapped, putting her hands on her hips and vaguely resembling my mother. Frightening.

"I haven't yet," I said. "C'mon, we just have four more full moons… Don't worry about us. We know what we're doing."

"You're being crazy," she said, shaking her head. "And I'll bet Remus agrees with me. He could kill you! And he wouldn't want to be responsible for that… can you imagine how he would feel if he ever seriously hurt any of you?'

"We've been through this Lily," I said. "The four of us. We know that there are risks. Do you think we're that careless? We may push some limits, love, but we know what we're getting ourselves into. We're there to keep him company if he calms down—which he does sometimes—and to protect him too. From himself. He's our best friend Lily. We just want to be there for him, if we can be."

She sighed, rubbing her hands across her face. "James… how can you… do you have any idea how terrifying it is to think of you running around with a werewolf."

I smiled gently, taking her hands. "It isn't running around, believe me. And it's sweet how concerned you are… but you have to remember that deep down he's still Remus. Still Moony. Still one of my best friends."

She shook her head. "James…"

"Please trust me on this Lily…" I said, drawing her closer to me.

She sighed, wrapping her arms around me.

"And by the way," I said. "You're nosy. They're going to make a portrait of you because of it, mark my words, Evans. You camped out here all night to figure out what I was up to… You're such a little snoop."

I combed my fingers through her hair and kissed her cheek gently. "Please don't worry about me, Lily."

"Would you be worried if it was me, becoming a big deer every full moon to run off with my werewolf friend?" she wondered.

"That's different," I said.

"Tell me how," she said, looking up at me. My heart picked up its pace when it met her green, beautiful eyes.

"I don't think you love me as much as I love you," I said.

"What do you mean by that?" she demanded.

"I mean that it would kill me to think of you in any manner of danger, whereas you don't quite worry about me that much. You are everything to me, and I'm not everything to you. I'm not saying it matters, because finally I'm something, and that's enough but—"

"You're so stupid!" she said.

"Okay…" I said. "That's the second time you've commented on my intellect. Tell me… _why _am I stupid, Lily?"

"Because I love you, you daft arse!" she shouted, burying her face in my shirt.

"I know you do," I said.

"No, apparently not," she said. "James, do you know anything about me?"

"Yes, but I'd like to know more," I said.

"But don't you know by now that I don't do things half-arsed?" she wondered. "I love you—and by that, I mean more than anything. _Anything. _I know that sounds obscene to you, as if you can't imagine those words ever coming out of my mouth, but it's the truth, James. It means that I love you and I never want anything to ever happen to you. And even though I've put up with you for many long years, and you grate on me, and you have only been tolerable since September, I truthfully, truthfully want to be with you, more than anything. You were my first. My first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first… well… you know… and I want you to be my last of everything."

I stared at her for a moment. "Lily… You are crazy. And I love you for it. When I heard I was your first kiss… you have no idea how that made me feel. I've been in love with you for years now. I mean, you know that, of course. And I know I wasn't very productive in the ways I chose to display this affection… But Lily… I don't think you even begin to comprehend what you do to me. From the very first moment I saw you, I thought you were pretty, though as an eleven-year-old that was a little odd of me, I'll admit. You're beautiful and amazing and talented and wonderful and I don't actually deserve you…."

"You deserve me James," she said.

"Who says?"

"I say, and it's my opinion that matters, isn't it?" she whispered.

I closed my eyes and kissed her.

_(Hope that's sappy enough for you!) Next Chapter: Because of course James Potter couldn't let a girl sulk in peace. _


	27. Lily's Birthday

**_A/N: This fic is teaching me all sorts of things. The names of different counties in England and their locations, as well as, it would seem, but not in this chapter, Spanish. I know very little Spanish other than me llamo and si, and I needed it in one chapter... you will see in about ten chapters what I'm talking about. _**

Chapter 27.

Lily:

"Look at you, Head Girl, cutting class," he teased.

"Only because my _boyfriend _the Head Boy is making me," I snapped, bouncing up and down on my bed.

"It's just Herbology," he said. "No one wants to walk in the snow anyway."

"It's just Herbology…" I said.

"On your birthday," he pointed out.

"On my birthday," I repeated.

"I'll corrupt you yet," he said, patting my back.

"Can I just have my present now?" I demanded.

"Not if you treat the present giver like that," he said, rolling his eyes and ducking into the trunk.

"You're not very nice," I said. "It is my birthday after all. I am your senior by two months, Mr. Potter. You best respect me."

He rolled his eyes again.

"I saw that," I said, flopping back on his pillows.

"I didn't try to hide it," he said, grinning as he resurfaced from his hurricane zone of a trunk. He presented me with a neatly wrapped package, long and flat.

"This is present one of two," he said.

"One of two, huh?" I asked, pulling the paper off carefully.

"Yep," he said. I lifted the lid off of the package, revealing a beautifully crafted, silky red and gold scarf.

"Wow…" I murmured, running the silk through my hands. "It's beautiful."

"I thought you might like it," he said. "Like the one in your hair on Christmas… I don't know. I thought this was… nice?"

"How is it made?" I wondered.

"It's magical…" he said. "Silk made by magic is finer and softer than muggle silk."

The gold wove through as fine threads, overlapping and criss-crossing in a beautifully random pattern.

"It's gorgeous, James," I said.

"And present two," he said. "This… I used to take it everywhere with me, sort of like a security blanket, I suppose, but people have their things. I had myself convinced it was loaded with some sort of wisdom or something, I'm not sure."

He pulled from his pocket a smaller square box, which he opened for me, revealing a metal pendant attached to a leather cord.

"It's very light," he said, dropping it gently into my hand. I flipped over, to see the front, which was emblazoned with a family crest. Placed on a shield, the crest truly took the shape of a triangle, but the coat of arms was etched inside of the triangle, into the metal, and inlaid with vibrant colors.

"Potter family crest," he explained. "I mean… you don't have to wear it or anything. But I just thought I would give it to you… because it's sort of part of me, and I'd like you to have it."

'I'll wear it," I said. "Help me tie it, would you?"

I held out my wrist, and he tied the cord around it. The metal felt cool originally, but warmed up quickly.

"You're a Potter now," he teased.

"Or maybe I'm just shagging one," I said.

He chuckled, kissing me. He pushed me onto my back completely, leaning over the top of me. He put his hands on either side of my head, lips pressed against mine.

"I love you," I said, twisting my fingers into his hair.

"I love you too," he said. "Obviously. I don't know if you could tell…"

"I had no idea, actually," I said, chuckling a little.

"Damn…" he said. "Want to skip all day? I think we caught fevers from each other. Yes, that must be it."

"Oh man, I feel very feverish," I said, stretching my neck up a little to suck on his lower lip. He laughed and caught my mouth with his completely.

-CD-

Lily:

Being a goody-two-shoes, I made James get up and go to our second class. He was sort of grumpy about it, but a good sport just the same. Though he claimed we were more likely to get off without a hitch if we didn't go to any classes, but then realized that he was pretty good at charming the teachers, and the chances of him getting in trouble were fairly slim at this point—especially if he was with me.

We sat with all of our friends at lunch, Remus giving us an accusatory look.

"Skipping your first class of the day," he said. "What wonderful heads you two are…"

"We know," I said. "Believe me."

"You two are almost nauseating now that you're together," Sirius pointed out.

"Thank you," James said, wrapping his arms around me.

"But happy birthday to the fairer half of the nauseating couple," Sirius said, raising his goblet to me.

I laughed and we all raised our goblets and drank to my birthday.

"Another year older," Emmeline said, drinking her pumpkin juice. "Another year of being a know-it-all and another year wiser."

"I'm only a know-it-all, because I'm wise—and I know it," I teased.

I kind of frowned when they didn't chuckle, because I knew at least James and Marlene would appreciate my humor. Only he laughed. The others all silenced instantly, a massive glare taking hold of Sirius's face.

"Happy birthday, Lily," a familiar voice sounded from behind me. Of course Sirius wasn't glaring at me.

James whipped his head around as I turned slowly. He sneered when he spoke, "What do you want, Snivellus?"

"James," I said, putting a cautioning hand on his arm.

"I just wanted to wish my old friend a happy birthday," Severus said coolly, returning James's glare with more power than I had ever seen. It was a staring contest.

"Well thank you," I said hastily, squeezing James's arm tightly, hoping to make a point with my fingernails.

"What's this?" Severus demanded, pulling my other hand toward him. James would've dived head first out of his seat if I wasn't giving him a warning look. Severus looked at the coat of arms on my wrist and sneered. "So he's got you tagged now, has he? You're his property?"

"Drop it, Severus," I said, pulling my arm away, back to my chest.

"Here, Lily," Sirius said. "A napkin to wipe the grease."

I gave him a look that clearly said I believed silence was golden, and turned back to Severus.

"If you want to be one of them, go ahead," Snape said.

"And see, I feel the same for you," I said.

"Lily, you shouldn't be with him," he said finally, tearing his glare away from James and fixing me with a softer stare.

"I think that's for her to decide," James said.

"Severus, I love him," I said. "And you can pester me all you want, but you can't change that."

"You _love _him?" He echoed. "I thought I knew you. But if you could love an arrogant, know-it-all, show-off like Potter… well…"

"Don't talk about him like that," I said, standing up. It was James's turn to hook his hand around my arm. I could still get my wand out with one hand.

"Leave me alone, leave him alone," I said. "You can be my friend if you want to be, but I won't take your insults, or comments, nor will I tolerate you becoming a Death Eater. Those _people _you call _friends _are hurting innocent people."

"Lily…" he said.

I jabbed my wand into his chest. "Just shut up. I thought I knew you too… but I guess I was wrong as well. Just like you."

He glared at me, sneered at James, and loped back in the direction of the Slytherin table.

James looked at me.

"Arse," Sirius commented.

James continued to look at me, but as soon as the rest of the table returned to their regular conversation, he finally said what was on his mind. "Do you love him?"

I dropped my fork, gaping.

"What?"

"Snape," he said. "Do you love him?"

"What do you mean?" I spluttered. "What do you mean _do I love him? _He was my best friend for a long time… I loved him as a friend…"

"Lily, I don't mean like that. I see it in the way you look at him. You love him. Loved him. Whichever. As more than that."

"You don't know what you're talking about," I said.

"I would just like you to tell me," he said.

"Go to hell, how about?" I offered instead, standing up, grabbing my bag, and hoping to stomp off to Defense on my own.

Or so I thought, because of course James Potter couldn't let a girl sulk in peace.

"I really don't want to talk to you, in case you hadn't noticed," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Come on Lily," he said, reaching for my hand. "I didn't say I minded. I just wanted to know. If that was why you were always coming to his defense."

"I was always coming to his defense because an arrogant prat kept hurting him, and he is… he was a decent person, James!" I snapped, wrenching my hand out of his reach.

"Lily…" he said.

"Stop it, James," I ordered, crossing my arms and pulling my wand out.

"Are you going to hex me, Lily?" he demanded, rolling his eyes.

"No," I said. "Not if you leave me alone."

"Lily…." He said. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said.

"Then cut me some slack, Lily. It's a decent question," he said.

"It's obnoxious," I said.

"Are you breaking up with me?" he wondered.

"Are you stupid?" I said. "Do you have absolutely no confidence in yourself? Actually, must be the first, because I know you of all people have a lot of confidence in yourself."

"Not when it concerns you!" he said.

"Oh come off it, James," I said. "You know the confidence you have…"

"Lily…" he said. "Come on… love."

"James…" I said.

"Lily…" he said again.

"Look," I said. "I love you. Not him. I never loved him. He's someone that was once very dear to me. But now, he's just a Death Eater whose friend I no longer want to be. I think it was pretty stupid of you to ask me that, especially after I've told you how much I love you a million times…. Sometimes I highly doubt your intelligence, James Potter."

He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"I can tell," I said.

"Do you forgive me?" he wondered.

"Oh no, absolutely not," I said, rolling my eyes.

He raised an eyebrow.

"So stupid," I proclaimed, offering out my hand. He grinned and accepted.

"Defense?" he offered.

"Yes, I think we're practicing dueling again today," I commented.

"Well I can tell you I'm not going to be Padfoot's partner then," he said.

"You might not want to be mine either," I announced.

"Forgive and forget?" he suggested hopefully.

"I forgive you…. But later you have to make me forget…" I said.

"Lily Evans, I'm shocked at your cavalier attitude," he said, opening his mouth in mock shock.

"Better reap the benefits," I said, swinging our hands between us.

"Willingly," he said.

"You're a good guy, James Potter," I said.

"Well thank you," he said.

"Somewhere. Deep, deep, down," I continued.

"Love you too," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Everything I say I mean with the utmost affection," I informed him.

"Of course you do," he said. "I—bloody hell!"

He whipped around, drawing his wand quickly.

"What?" I demanded, turning too, my own wand out.

"Someone just hexed me…" he said. "Stinging. And a pretty weak one at that."

I stared at the group of students behind us, wondering which one was the culprit.

"Coward hexed me when my back was turned," he grumbled. "Which one of you was it? Why don't you jinx me to my face?"

"James…" I said cautioning him.

I caught sight of Severus at the edge of the crowd. James did too.

"Don't encourage him," I said. "I know him. Walk away and he'll be so shocked he won't know what to do."

"Or he'll just hex me again," he grumbled.

"Listen to me, James," I said. "I know what he'll do. Be a bigger man, won't you?"

He sighed. "It's a good thing I like you so much." He turned and walked with me to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

_Next Chapter: We are nearing the end of part one: "When do you have all this chit-chat time with Dumbledore?" _


	28. Being Cheery

_**A/N: I hope none of you mind that this fic is nowhere near complete. I've written 43 chapters, and just have gotten to their wedding, if that says anything. I have every intention of carrying this fic until October 30, 1981 (if anyone is wondering the date I've decided for their wedding is October 21, 1978) If that's okay. Because I'm not writing the next day. I've become too attached to write that. Or so I say today. **_

Chapter 28.

Lily:

"I'm very comfortable," I said.

"Me too," he replied, sliding his hands up under my shirt.

I leaned down, flattening myself to his chest, which was bare, and perfect and so damn appealing.

"Why do you have to be so damn pretty?" he demanded, twisting his fingers carefully into my hair.

"I know. It's a serious problem, isn't it?" I said, kissing his chest carefully.

"It truly is," he said. "it makes life very distracting for me, I hope you know."

"I can tell. You don't even get to read your Quidditch magazines in class anymore," I said, shaking my head.

"It's because I'd rather look at you," he said.

He was intense when it came to answering questions. He would appear as if he hadn't been focusing for the longest time, and a teacher would ask him a question. He wouldn't even look up from his magazine or from me, but he would have the perfect answer. Every time. It actually was starting to drive me nuts, I was so jealous.

"We should be doing homework," I said, sliding my fingers over his chest.

"You know… words like that usually dampen my mood…. Not today though," he said, putting his arms more tightly around me. "I must want you too much…"

"Too much for my own good, actually," I said, kissing him.

"I don't know about that," he said, pulling away for a second to speak, but then resuming the kiss happily. Without breaking from the kiss, he waved his wand to seal the door and lock it.

Studiously, without looking, he started to unbutton my shirt. His determined, yet slightly unfocused fingers struggled momentarily, trying to work too fast for their own good. My blouse finally hung free from my body, allowing him to pull it off of my while we continued to kiss. He slid his hand around the hem of my skirt, searching for the zipper. When he found it, he pulled it down and slid the skirt off of my hips, and once it was long gone on the floor somewhere, he rolled over so that he was leaning over me.

"I told you I would make you forget," he whispered, laughing a little. He kissed my neck then, as I started in at his belt, yanking at the buckle until I could finally get it open to find the button on his jeans.

"I remember," I said, taking a short break from undressing him to put my hands in his hair, wrapping my arms around his head and drawing him in closer to me.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I said.

"Don't forget it," he said. "I may be a prat sometimes…"

'But it's okay in the end."

I couldn't remember getting his pants off him, but suddenly they were no longer there.

"I don't think you even know," he said, stroking my hair. "So many years of loving you, Lily… and just waiting for you to love me back. Waiting very impatiently."

"I know," I said. "I'm sorry. Well, actually, no I'm not. I don't think you were ready all those years. Or maybe I wasn't. It wouldn't have worked."

He nodded. "I know. And besides… the wait makes it that much better now."

"I agree with that," I said, kissing his shoulders.

He reached around to unhook my bra, and then pulled that off my arms. We pulled off our own underwear, leaving him kissing my collarbone and moving his lips and tongue down my body.

"I love you," he said again, pulling me up for a moment. I felt his erection pressed into my leg, as he slid his hand and thigh up between my legs. My hair was splayed out around my head, looking psychotic, I was sure, but he didn't seem to notice or care. He moved his body in between my legs, which I wrapped around his middle.

"I love you too," I promised him, hooking my arms around his neck.

He moved upward, and without any warning or premeditation, he pushed inside of me, eliciting a gasp from my mouth. He looked at me, concerned for a moment, but the moan that escaped me brought more force to him. He pulled out slightly, and then pushed back, driving farther. He continued this rhythm, slow but not too slow, gentle and yet hungry.

"Lily…" he moaned, one had on the side of my face, the other on one of my breasts. I whimpered gently under his touch, and he reached with his free hand to touch my lips.

"Oh god…" I said, gripping his arms and moving my hips forcefully. He groaned and pushed even further, driving me closer to the brink.

His fingers knotted into my hair as I kissed his shoulders.

We came together, waves crashing over me as he shouted my name. I let out a particularly loud scream of his before he fell limp on top of me, trying to keep from squishing me. He pulled away gently, moving to lie next to me, wrapped his arms around me.

"What did I finally do to deserve you?" he wondered, stroking my hair and kissing my shoulder.

"You're a good guy," I said, turning around. He held me close to him.

He buried his nose in my hair and sighed deeply.

-CD-

James:

"N.E.," Lily said strictly, flopping next to me in my bed.

"Blah," I said, burying my face in my pillow.

"I thought we were going to study today," she accused.

"How about we continue cuddling and sleeping right here?" I said, stroking her hair.

"A man who wants to cuddle," she mused, sitting up and rumpling my hair. "C'mon lazy."

"It's my mid-morning nap," I complained.

"Cry me a river," she said.

"It's a Saturday. I just had Quidditch training," I said.

"In the bitter cold," she said. "Crazy."

"it was quite nice out actually," I argued.

"In February," she said. "Crazy."

"Let me sleep," I said.

"Mum, just five more minutes," she mimicked, sliding her fingers into my hair. "Do you want to make something of your life or not? Get on up, Potter, so we can make sure we don't blow our chances at a future."

"I know my future," I said.

"Been taking divination again, have you?" she wondered.

"I don't need a bloody crystal ball to predict it for me," I said, rolling over and grabbing my glasses to look at her.

"Tell me then," she said, sitting up and looking down at me.

"Well… let's see," I said. "My parents are going to be ancient shortly, and thus die shortly as well—"

"That's cheery," she commented.

"I'm not going for cheery, I'm going for true," I reminded her. "They know it's true and so do I."

"Fun," she said.

"Well," I said. "Here's the thing—my parents have a vault at Gringotts that will leave me very well off. Well off that I probably won't actually have to work to support a family—no matter how big it is."

"James…" she said.

"You don't even grasp it, Lily," I said. "There's a lot of money there for me. And whoever else is in my future. That's why I'm thinking I don't have to go to the auror program. I'll be able to devote my time fully to the Order of the Phoenix. Until we win the war, and then I'll find something to do."

"You'll have to have N.E.W.T credits then!" she said.

"Maybe," I said. "But at the same time…"

"Devote your time fully to the Order?" she wondered.

"I've already talked to Dumbledore about it," I said.

"When do you have all of this alone chit-chat time with Dumbledore?" she demanded.

That was actually a good question. The first time I'd been sent to the headmaster's office, when Snape almost was killed by Remus at the full moon… well Dumbledore and I had a long conversation.. And since then, I sort of just told him what my plans were. He was impressed with me, and I knew that, and I knew he had faith in me. He didn't like to advertise that I could confide in him, and so his motives as to naming me head boy—he knew the real James Potter—remained in perpetual question. But we often had discussions about my future.

"Never mind that," I said.

"What does he think of you being so careless about your exams?" she demanded.

"He doesn't comment," I said. "He knows I can make my own decisions."

"I don't doubt that you can," she said. "I just fear you're being a bit rash."

"Lily, I know what I want to do," I said.

"Oh?" she said.

"I want to get my education. Then I want to use it, and my talents, to fight something that right now needs anyone who can fight, to fight it. I want to play some small role in keeping my friends and family safe. I want the thrill of the fight."

"This isn't some great adventure, James," she said. "This is serious.'

"I know that," I said, glaring at her. "And that makes it that much more important."

"You can just think that this is like taking your excursions as marauders to a higher level," she said.

"Stop it, Lily," I said. "I know what's going on. Obviously. I don't get why you're against this."

"Don't you think you could be more of an asset if you were a trained auror?"

"By the time I'd be certified, it would be too late, Lily," I said. "The war isn't going to stop just because I'm going through auror training. Voldemort isn't going to just sit around and say 'Oh, James Potter is waiting to become an auror. Let's take a year or so off from the fight so he can get stronger."

"James—" she said.

"Lily!" I said. "This is my choice to make, all right? I know what I want to do. And why do you want to keep fighting me about it?"

"Because I'm afraid for you!" she yelled back. I'm sure it was a sight. The two of us just sitting on my bed, yelling at each other.

"Why are you afraid? You want to fight too! I can take care of myself, Lily," I said.

"I just want you to be prepared," she returned venomously.

"I'm not going to die," I growled.

"Look at Marlene's brother," she said.

"Things happen, Lily! This is a war. We lose some, they lose some," I said. "We can't help it."

"But I don't want to lose you," she said.

"Why are you still yelling?' I wondered.

"Because I feel like I have to!" she snapped.

I grabbed her shoulders gently, but strictly. "I'm fighting. You want to fight still right?"

"Yes," she said.

"And you're worried about me?"

"Yes," she replied, nodding, her volume dropping.

"Don't you think I'm every bit as worried about you?" I asked.

"I can't even think about it… now… what would happen to me… if I lost you," she said. 'You've sort of made your mark, James Potter."

I took her hand gently, bringing her knuckles to my lips.

"I can't even fathom you being in danger," I told her. "I don't even want to think about it. But I want you to have faith in me Lily. And faith in Dumbledore, and the Order of the Phoenix. I want you there fighting beside me. And I want you to be okay with my decisions. Because this war is now, Lily, and it could be everything."

"Take your exams," she said.

"I have every intention to do so," I said. "But there's a war to fight Lily, and I've already told you I can't stand by."

_Next Chapter: "I thought it was, as your educator, my duty to inform you what you would be getting yourselves into." _


	29. This is the Future

**_A/N: Wow it's early... I was trying to type that slash and it kept coming up as a question mark... so I kept trying. Then I realized that I didn't have to press the shift key... good lord. Anyway, one more chapter after this in part 1. _**

Chapter 29:

Lily:

March dawned with a mix of gray rain and snow, ice coated owls, and frozen broomsticks. On the rare days of sunshine, students stared longingly out the windows during their classes, begging for a chance to run down the slick green lawn and bask in the hopeful spring rays.

On a particularly dreary morning, James and I headed down to breakfast, hands swinging between us. February had been an unnervingly quiet month, and we were vigilantly prepared for anything at this point.

"What a beautiful morning," I commented, gesturing out the window.

He kissed me on the cheek.

"Good enough for me."

I laughed. "Horrible flying conditions."

"We have training tonight anyway," he said, putting an arm around my waist.

"I feel so bad for your team, you have no idea," I said.

"Good thing you're not on it then," he said, laughing a little.

"Prongs!" Sirius called across the corridor as we turned to enter the Great Hall.

"What?" James said, turning, but still holding onto me.

"Dumbledore wants to see you, Lily, Moony, Emmeline, Marlene, Alice, Frank and Wormtail, and me," he said.

"That's a lot of people. What about breakfast?" James wondered.

'James," I said, smacking him on the arm.

"I'm just saying…" he said. "I'm hungry."

"Dumbledore said there's food in his office," Sirius said. "I'll wait for Remus, Marlene, Frank and Alice. They're the not up there yet. Emmeline and Wormtail went up already."

"All right," I said. "We'll see you up there."

James shot him one more curious look, and we headed back up in the direction we had come from, turning on the second floor in the direction of Dumbledore's office.

We headed right in, where there was an array of chairs set up, forming a U shape around an intricate Middle Eastern table topped with food. Professors McGonagall and Flitwick were there as well. Emmeline and Peter were occupying two mismatched chairs.

"Welcome, Lily, James," Dumbledore said happily, smiling at both of us.

"Good morning, sir," James said, and I nodded, sinking into a shockingly squishy armchair. James sat next to me.

"Do you know what's going on?" I asked Emmeline.

"Something to do with the Order of the Phoenix," Emmeline hissed back, as McGonagall and Flitwick left the room, and Sirius entered with the others.

"Have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. Good morning, Alice, Frank, Remus, Marlene," Dumbledore said.

The rest of them sat as I reached for a cranberry scone. We all looked up at our headmaster expectantnly.

"What an odd request, I'm sure you're thinking," he said. "A barmy old headmaster calls a bunch of his brightest students into his office. For breakfast."

He waved his wand, and the chair from behind his desk drifted over their heads and landed in front of him. He sat down comfortably and put the tips of his long fingers together, to look over the top of them at us.

We remained silent and he took a deep breath, smiling again.

"It is my understanding that you as a collective group would be interested in joining the Order of the Phoenix after school," he said.

We all nodded in perfect synchronization.

"I thought it was, as your educator, my duty to inform you exactly what you would be getting yourself into. There are some moments here where I will edit for the sake of security. There are some facts that you can simply not know until you are a definite member of the Order of the Phoenix. You may ask me to clarify, if you wish, but if it is something I can't explain I will tell you so."

I exchanged a glance with James to find him grinning massively. He was excited. Of course he was excited.

"Before I say anything else, I would like to make sure you all aware of the dangers you would face, the potential consequences that come with being a member of the Order. There are risks. I'm sure most of you know that.

"In a war, both sides lose some. It is a saddening inevitability—much like this war itself. Being members of the Order puts you at a great risk, a target of Death Eaters, once they know you're part of the organization. Not to mention the actual battles you will have to take part in. They are very rarely publicized, but they do occur. And so, what I hope you all grasp is that there is a chance that this war will take your life. Or the life of one of your family members, or friends."

We all nodded.

"This is not something to be taken lightly," he said. "And I think most of you know that. It will take valiant combined effort to halt the forces of Lord Voldemort. I fear that every day we might not be as strong as we would hope, and as his supporters grow in numbers exponentially greater than ours… well we need everyone wiling. This is the future. For your children, for your own futures, for your family and friends.

"I'm not here to tell you what you should do or what I want you to do. This is your decision. I thought I would inform you before you departed Hogwarts, however. I'm not going to tell you to believe one way or the other. I just want to inform you."

James and I looked at each other. He reached over and squeezed my hand. Our decisions had long since been made.

-CD-

James:

"Do you think there was a person in that room who isn't going to join?" I asked her in a hush as we headed down the corridor to go to the very tail end of double potions. We'd been in Dumbledore's office for a long time, gathering information and getting informed.

"I don't, actually," she said, shaking her head.

"Hey, Mudblood!" The call came from behind us.

Lily clamped her hand on my wrist, keeping me from whirling around to injure whoever said it.

"Ignore them," she whispered.

"Lily…" I said.

"You ought to turn around and look at your betters when they're speaking to you, Evans," the familiar voice spat from behind us. Lily's nails started to dig into my arm to hold me still. She kept walking briskly forward.

And then she was on the floor, next to me, writhing in what appeared to be silent pain, face contorted. I turned quickly, wand out, knowing the only way to stop the curse was to break the connection to the person casting it.

Regulus stood with his wand pointed in her direction, a sick smile on his face as he cursed her.

"What do you think you're doing?" I demanded, raising my wand. He broke his wand away from her to defend himself against the jinx I shot at him.

"I'm having a good time doing what should be… well a sport, I think, but perhaps that's just me…" he said, putting up a shield against my stunner.

"You're sick, Regulus," I said, shooting him another spell. He dodged it and shot another hex at Lily, who was just rising feebly from the floor. The spell knocked her backward again. I tried a different tactic, keeping my wand completely still, working to the best of my powers to keep him unprepared. I hit him with a temporary stunner, knowing it wasn't as powerful as one I would've been able to do if I wasn't worried about giving myself away. I caught him in a body-bind curse, and moved over to Lily, who started to sit up.

"Don't move," I said, leaning over her. "Did you hit your head."

"Bloody Black I'll throttle him," she grumbled, reaching up with one hand to touch her head. She grimaced. "That is going to bruise."

I pushed her hair back from her forehead. "Look at me."

She looked at me intently.

"Well your pupils are the same size…" I said. "And that's about the extent of my medical knowledge."

I pulled the two-way mirror out of my bag. Padfoot had gone ahead to Potions, having been one of the first ones to leave Dumbledore's.

"Sirius Black?" I said into it.

His face appeared. "Hey mate. Where are you?"

"Your arse of a little brother attacked my girlfriend, and I was hoping you could send a professor up to the first floor corridor."

"Bastard child," he complained, disappearing.

"Come on," I said to Lily. "Let's see if I can get you up, Lily… Let me know if you're dizzy. I'm going to take you to the hospital wing."

I took her hand and pulled her to her feet carefully, slowly. She stood steadily, but blinked her eyes.

"That is _not _a fun spell," she said. "I feel like someone knocked the wind out of me and then sat on my chest." As if to second her statement, she started coughing, and winced, grabbing her side as if it was causing her intense pain.

"Lily…" I said, grabbing her hands. She spluttered.

"I can't breathe, James," she said, her eyes panicked. She coughed, grabbing her side again. I looked around, and then pulled her robe off of her, moving to unbutton her shirt. I was gradually figuring out what spell it was. I had a very good idea that I'd seen it before.

When I had her blouse un buttoned somewhat, I could pull it up gently. A large purplish green bruise was spreading across her ribs and stomach, moving up her body, even as I watched. The spell had clearly broken several of her ribs, which were now hurting as she attempted to breathe, finding it nearly impossible to expand her lungs as the rib cage was too close. She whimpered in front of me, clutching at my shoulders.

"You're all right," I told her. "Lily, just look at me. He broke a couple of your ribs, but just keep calm and you'll be fine. Tiny little breaths, okay?'

She nodded.

"Mr. Potter!" Dumbledore's voice sounded behind me. I turned, still holding Lily to keep her calm.

"He hexed her, professor. He called her a… a… well, and she told me to ignore it, and I shouldn't have, because he stunned her or something, and then when she tried to get back up, he broke her ribs with some spell. I need to take her to the hospital wing, professor."

"Yes, by all means," he said. "I'll deal with Mr. Black."

"Sirius should be on his way up here. I told him…" I said, taking Lily gently by the hand. She had calmed down easily and didn't look as if she was in any pain at this point. "Are you all right to walk to the hospital wing?"

"I'm fine," she said. "Brief moment of panic."

"All right," I said, walking with her down the corridor. The young nurse, Madam Pomfrey jumped up from what appeared to be a lazy day treating minor cases to take care of Lily.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"Broken ribs from a curse, and there's a rapidly spreading bruise," I explained, leading Lily to one of the beds, as directed by Pomfrey.

"Oh dear…" she said. "So much cursing going on lately, you would think we didn't have rules."

"Everyone knows we have rules," I said. "Some people just don't like to think they apply to them."

"If you could go on the outside of the curtain while I take a look at Miss Evans, it would be much appreciated," Madam Pomfrey said.

Lily and I rolled our eyes at each other. I'd seen her in less than a bra before, obviously, but we agreed silently that we didn't need to share that with the Hogwarts nurse.

Sirius traipsed into the Hospital Wing then, catching sight of me by one of the beds.

"How is she?" he demanded.

"He broke her ribs," I said.

"Damn," he said. "I swear, I'm going to wring that little weasel's neck when Dumbledore's done with him… I'm sorry." Then he raised his voice. "I'm sorry for my arse of a little brother, Evans."

"it's not your fault he's deluded," I said, shrugging. "And Lily knows that."

"You just wait. I'll make it my fault he's not. If I get my hands on him—that is, if Dumbledore doesn't expel him, in which case I'll let my father get his hands on him—the kid thinks he's a skilled dueler… well he hasn't even met his older brother. I'm surprised you didn't wring him out and hang him up to dry."

"He _is _your brother," I said.

"He's the third biggest prat to roam this earth, the first being my mother, the second my father," he said, rolling his eyes. "You should've hexed his fingers together. Permanently. You know that spell you know that only the original spell caster can lift the spell?"

"Yeah," I said. "He's still your brother Padfoot.'

"He's a Death Eater," Sirius said. "He's not my brother anymore."

_Next chapter: "Studying makes me want to throw myself off the astronomy tower." James's birthday closes out part one. _


	30. Teasing and Jealousy

**_A/N: Short little chapter to end part one... _**

Chapter 30.

Lily:

"I would sing happy birthday but I won't terrorize your ears with my singing voice," I announced, leaning down to kiss his forehead instead.

He looked up at me, fumbling for his glasses, because he was honestly blind.

"Hey, love," he said when he could see.

"Happy Birthday!" I cheered.

"Thanks," he said.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too," he said. "What did you get me?"

"Well… the usual," I said, moving my hand lower down his body from where it had been on his chest.

He raised his eyebrows at me. I pulled away quickly.  
>"You'll have to come downstairs to see.'<br>"Tease!" he shouted as I pranced out of the boys' dormitory, as he earned himself customary birthday presents of thrown feather pillows, delivered by every single one of the friends he had just woken up shouting at me.

I bounced down the stairs cackling evilly. I was truly enjoying myself. The common room was empty. It was too early on a Monday for anyone else to be there.

James stumbled down ten minutes later, freshly showered with his hair in disarray—what else was new?—and his tie untied.

"You bloody tease…" he complained, putting his arms around me.

"How was your shower?" I wondered.

"Bloody cold," he hissed in my ear.

"Glad to be of service," I said.

He spun me around and kissed me on the lips.

"Happy Birthday," I told him when I pulled away.

"I love you so much," he said, grinning. "Do you know that by now?"

"No, of course not," I said. "I was clueless."

He groaned, looking at me. "I don't think you have any clue. It hurts to look at you."

"Is that a good thing?" I wondered. "It doesn't sound like a good thing."

"It is a good thing," he said, burying his nose against my neck, taking a deep breath. "Definitely a good thing."

"Merlin…" I said, wrapping my arms around him tightly and pressing my face into his clean t-shirt, breathing in his fresh scent.

"I hope you didn't get me any presents," he said. "I already have everything. I don't want anything else."

"You're such a romantic," I teased, squeezing him and not looking up, keeping my face hidden.

"Ever think we'd be here, Evans?" he wondered gently.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "But now that we are here… well let's not leave, okay?'

"Sounds perfect," he said, stroking my hair.

"Never thought I would end up with a nuisance like yourself," I said. "But… well, you're not so annoying anymore.

He pulled away from me, smiling. "I've been waiting for you for a long time. Believe me. I'm not doing anymore waiting for the rest of my life. What is it, almost April? Things are going to change when we leave Hogwarts, Lily."

"You're so cryptic," I said.

"Have you ever been so certain about something it makes you laugh to think about things anyway else?" he wondered.

I nodded. "Does this have to do with the Order?'

"Partially," he said, sounding very thoughtful. He grinned. "Breakfast, love?"

"Sounds wonderful," I said.

He hooked his hand in mine and then looked around once more, before planting his lips on mine and kissing me passionately again. "Damn."

"Damn what?" I wondered.

"That never gets old, is all," he said.

I grinned at him. "I'm glad."

-CD-

Lily:

"Remind me again why I'm studying on my birthday?" he wondered, flopping onto his back.

"Because," I said. "Studying is good for you."

"Studying makes me want to throw myself off of the astronomy tower," he announced, flipping carelessly through his book. "I know all of it already."

"Oh, so you know everything?" I said.

"it's impossible to know everything,' he informed me. "And I'd say I'm well enough equipped with the knowledge I already possess."

I pursed my lips. "You bother me sometimes."

"it is the ultimate goal,' he said, closing the book and finally putting his hands behind his head instead, closing his eyes. "Continue if you must."

"I'm going to do so much better on my NEWTs than you will," I said, shaking my head as I closed my own book and stretched out next to him. His dormitory was empty and nice and cool and comfortable with good late March air blowing in through the tentatively cracked windows.

"Not if I keep distracting you," he said, stroking my hair.

"I can't believe we'll be out of Hogwarts soon," I said thoughtfully.

"I can't believe I'm eighteen," he said. "I actually have to… think about the future."

"You think about the future more than anyone else I know. Save for maybe myself," I said.

"There's more to the future than just the Order," he said.

"Like what?" I wondered, just curious as to where his mind was.

"Moving out, living on my own, finding the girl of my dreams, settling down, having a family," he trailed off, turning his head and opening his eyes, smiling.

"What's this dream girl like?" I wondered, teasing now.

"Brilliant,' he said. "Beautiful. Dark red hair, green eyes, smartarse, wonderful in every way… kind of a know-it-all, but in a good way. Brave. Perfectly imperfect."

"Good luck with that," I said.

He sighed, smiling at me. "I've wanted you forever, Lily Evans, and now that I have you…"

"You realize you wasted your time," I said, winking.

"I realize that it was well worth the wait and that I was holding out for something I can't imagine not having now," he said.

"We're being very sappy lately," I commented, smiling a little.

"I know," he said. "I just want you to know, I suppose. I have to get romancy like a girl."

I frowned. "That's insulting."

"You know what I mean," he said.

"I suppose I do," I said, smiling at him.

"So after school…" he said.

"After school…" I said thoughtfully.

-CD-

James:

"They're nauseating. Em and I have been together longer than they have, and you don't see us spooning all night. I thought this was a boys' dorm," Padfoot's voice complained.

"Oh shut up," Moony said. "They're not bothering you."

"You're just jealous," Wormtail said.

"Jealous?" Padfoot said, barking a laugh. "Of Bathsheda Speckles over there?" He snorted. Speckles?

"Not of him. Of Lily. You're jealous because you think he's spending all the time he used to spend with you, or us, with her," Moony contributed.

"I am not jealous of my best mate's girlfriend," Padfoot snapped.

"Then shut up and go to sleep," Moony said. "You'll wake them and Frank up."

"Thanks for helping me finish my essay, guys," Wormtail said.

"Of course," Moony said. "Leave them alone, Padfoot. He's happy."

"I get it," Padfoot said.

"Happy," Moony stressed. "Never been happier, actually."

"I get it," Padfoot said again. "He'd kill you if he heard that."

"I know," Moony said. "But she's good for him. You have to realize that."

"I do," Padfoot said.

"And you can be jealous," Moony teased. "You are his best friend."

"Well we all have to grow up eventually, find that one person…" Padfoot said. I could hear his eyes roll even as he said it.

"What, you think he and Lily are set for life at this point?" Moony wondered, chuckling a little.

"Look at them. I don't see how it could be otherwise," Padfoot said. "Good thing she's normal, and moral, and…"

"Are you actually admitting than you could be friends with Lily?" Moony wondered.

"I don't think I could be. I think I sort of am at this point. She and James are a package deal. Definitely nauseating. Glad we get to deal with that for the rest of our lives." Padfoot chuckled.

"She keeps him in check. I think it's a good thing," Moony said. "Makes my job easier."

"Your job?" Padfoot said. "Oh right making Prongs and I behave ourselves."

Wormtail laughed, yawning loudly after.

"We ought to get to bed," Moony said. "We actually have class tomorrow. I keep forgetting."

"Moony, forgetting about class?" Padfoot said, appalled.

Suddenly, I was hanging upside down by my ankle in the air.

"Oh see that was exactly as fun as I thought it would be," Padfoot said.

"Put me down," I said, just sighing.

"You people are so screwed up," Lily said from beneath me, rolling over and looking away from us.

"Watch out, Evans," Padfoot said, flicking his wand and letting me drop to the bed next to her.

I sighed, rolling over and putting my arms around Lily.

"Your friends are weird," she said.

"I know," I said, kissing her cheek.

-CD-

James:

"What are you doing?" Lily asked me, peeking over my shoulder.

"Taking a leaf out of your book," I said, drawing a line under the heading on my parchment.

"Meaning?" she questioned, sitting down next to me at the table in the common room.

"Meaning I'm making a list," I announced.

"Regarding what?" she wondered.

"The next year of my life," I explained.

"Oh?" she said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Do I get to see it?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Oh come on James…' she said.

"Really," I said. "You don't."

"SO it says, number one: break up with Lily, then?" she said, reaching over my shoulder.

I waved my wand, vanishing the words so that the only way someone could see them was if they used my wand.

"Tell me _something _that's on it," she ordered.

"Get an O on most of my NEWTs," I said.

"Boring. Pick another one," she said.

"Nope. That's all you get," I said. "You should just sit back, relax, watch them all come to be."

"James!" she complained.

"Lily!" I returned, pulling her onto my lap. "I'm not keeping secrets from you."

"Well technically you are," she argued. "But I know what you mean. And yet… I'm still deathly curious, James!"

I sighed. "Patience, love. Patience. Breathe."

She rested her forehead on my shoulder. "I'll make an attempt at patience."

"Sounds like a good idea to me," I said.

"I don't know how long that's going to last, however. Just a warning," she announced.

"At least be patient to the end of the school year," I said.

"That's a little more feasible," she decided.

-CD-

End Part One

_Next Chapter: Part two, we fastforward to the end of the school year and the beginning of summer. _


	31. It's Just the Beginning

**_A/N: Couple things to talk about here: I went back and titled all of my chapters. Some of them originially had titles, and some of them didn't. But now they all do. And some of them probably make no sense to anyone but me, so I apologize... Anyway..._**

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN Part II: Welcome to Part Two of The List. This part comes with warnings of angst and death and a lot of things that aren't all that happy. There are still quite a few chapters before any of this happens, but I am warning you now. Oh and there's citrus too, but that's not such a big deal. But when I said that this fic goes from seventh year until their deaths, I'm sure you weren't thinking everyone was going to live. I don't write AU. It just doesn't happen. Anyway, enjoy it, still, it's still for enjoyment! **_

Part Two:

Chapter 31.

Lily:

"Oh Merlin," Emmeline said, squeezing my hand.

"Oh Merlin," Sirius echoed from her other side. James grinned from my right and squeezed my hand too.

The Hogwarts Express rolled to a thunderous stop at King's Cross Station.

"And so it ends," I said thoughtfully.

"And so it begins," James corrected.

We stared at the platform for a moment. Then James looked at me, shrugged, and pushed the door open, plowing his way out without, it seemed, a second thought. I looked at my friends, then followed him, and they spilled out behind us, Sirius and Emmeline, Remus and Marlene—holding hands—and Peter, Alice and Frank. The platform was solid under my feet, almost shockingly so.

James took my hand again.

"Seven years," Alice said from behind me.

Seven years. And it was over. James won the Quidditch cup, we took our NEWTs. Slughorn rambled for a good fifteen minutes in front of the entire potions class about how he was so sorry to see such a promising student like me leave Hogwarts, but that he would be happy to write any recommendation I would ever need. Dumbledore called us together again, and told us that if we wanted to be in the Order, all we would have to was send him a quick owl.

And so it ended. And began. It was like a new life, all at once, only it felt like the old one hadn't quite ended. It grew dimmer in the background as I walked away from the train. My friends and I didn't exchange long hugs or tearful goodbyes. We would be seeing each other soon.

James and I headed toward his parents, with Sirius stopping to say hello to Emmeline's parents. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Severus walk off with Avery and Mulciber, greeting Sirius's parents quickly, and the disapparating. I sighed to myself, and James looked down speculatively, but couldn't ask before his mum swooped down on us.

"I can't believe you've finished at Hogwarts," she said tearfully, hugging James desperately. She kissed him several times on the cheek before turning her attention to me.

"My word, you seem to have gotten more beautiful since the day I met you!" she said. I wasn't sure what to make of that. "But maybe it's just because James can't help but go on and on about you in all of his letters."

I raised an eyebrow at James, and returned Mrs. Potter's hug.

"What can I say Mum?" he said, not even bashful. "I love her."

He stole me back from his mother and put his arm around me. "Let's go say hi to your parents."

"All right," I said. "I'll see you soon, Mr. and Mrs. Potter."

"Oh definitely," Mrs. Potter said. "We have to get to know each other better."

"That sounds wonderful," I said, smiling.

James and I walked over to the barrier, and walked through with my trunk and things on a trolley.

My parents were waiting just outside, Mum fanning herself with the newspaper, and Dad checking the time.

"Hello, Lily!" Mum said excitedly when she saw me. She put her arms around me in a hug and then she hugged James too. He shook my father's hand.

"Nice to see you, Mr. Evans," he said. My father liked him quite a bit. I didn't know what James had said to him at the dining room table over Christmas holiday, but it apparently had worked some sort of magic, and not in the real sense. In that weird inexplicable way.

"You must come by quite a bit this summer, James," Mum told him.

"I've already invited him whenever," I said.

"I have every intention of seeing quite a bit of all of you this summer," James said, putting his arm around me again.

"I'll see you soon," I told him, looking up at him.

"I would hope so. Or I'll go through withdrawal," he announced, kissing me quickly. "Love you, Lily."

"Love you too,' I said, giving him one more kiss. "I'll see you shortly."

"Of course," he said, hugging me again. "See you, love."

"Bye," I said, squeezing his hand and letting him go back toward the barrier.

I sighed.

"Lovestruck, aren't you Lily?" Dad wondered, chuckling a little.

I shrugged. "I just love him. That's it. He's a great guy, and I'm very lucky to have him."

"You're not lucky," Mum said. "You deserve him, Lily."

I smiled. "he's not going anywhere. Just so you all know."

"I didn't think so from the time I sat down with him at the dining room table," Dad said. "He really cares for you, doesn't he?"

"Yes," I said.

"I'd like to meet his parents," Mum said.

"Sometime this summer," I promised.

-CD-

James:

My father stared at me from where he was sitting at the dining room table. Sirius and Mum were carrying on pleasant and upbeat conversation about Emmeline and Sirius's future plans—the latter being a discussion they'd had many times, as Sirius was more undecided than I was about his future careers.

"What are you looking at?" I demanded of Dad finally.

"I just can't believe how much you grew up," he said.

"I am eighteen," I said. "I can't be five forever, Dad."

"I'm not talking about you being five to eighteen," Dad said. "I'm talking about from Christmas to now?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"It's her isn't it?" he said, chuckling a little.

"Lily?" I said. "A little, yeah. And the fact that I think at some point everyone just has to really grow up."

"I agree with that," he said. "I like her a lot, that girl of yours."

"I like her too," I said, laughing.

"I can tell," he said. "So… what are her plans?"

"She's hoping to get into the auror program," I explained. "but she also is going to join the Order of the Phoenix with me."  
>"And what are <em>your <em>plans?" he wondered.

"What do you mean, _my _plans?" I said.

"Your plans with her," he explained.

"That's what I thought," I said. "I thought it should be her father asking me these questions… 'What are your intentions with my daughter?'"

He sighed, but laughed. "I just want to know what you think the future holds for the two of you."

"I love her," he said. "I've been with her for a while now. Eight months. I want to be with her forever."

He looked at me for a moment. He seemed to be trying to read me. But neither of us said anything else for a moment. When he finally opened his mouth, he said, "I want to meet her family, and get to know her some more."

"I don't think that will be that hard," I said. "She told me to come over tomorrow. Perhaps we could all have dinner."

"I think that sounds like a great idea," Dad said. "Could have them back here."

"Except," I said. "Her parents don't apparate, Dad, and we don't exactly live all that close by."

"Oh…" he said. "Then if she agrees we'll go to them."

"Sounds good to me," I said.

-CD-

James;

"My parents will be here soon," I announced to Lily, running my fingers through her hair.

"What did I tell you about distance?" Mr. Evans demanded, walking into the room and gesturing pointedly to his daughter, whose legs were slung across my lap.

Lily looked up at him. "Leave us alone."

"No," he said.

"I'm eighteen," she said, sliding herself completely so that she was sitting in my lap instead. Defiance.

"But you're not sitting like that until you've married the kid," he announced, leaning over and picking her up under her arms and setting her on the other end of the sofa.

"Boy do I feel like a three-year-old," she commented.

"You remember the rules," her father said. "You can hug, you can even kiss, but other than that, an inch away at least everywhere else."

He threw his hands up exasperatedly and walked out of the room. Lily looked around and then walked over and sat on my lap again.

The doorbell rang shortly thereafter, and Lily sprung up to go and answer it, Mrs. Evans not far behind. My parents, dressed in their muggle clothes stood on the other side. I walked over to stand behind Lily.

"Hello!" Mrs. Evans said excitedly. "You must be James's parents! I'm Eva Evans, Lily's mother. Please do come in."

Mum and Dad walked over the threshold, both beaming and shaking Mrs. Evans's hand.

"I'm Calliope Potter," Mum introduced herself.

"Edward Potter," Dad said, smiling cheerfully.

Mr. Evans appeared to introduce himself too.

"It's wonderful to meet you," Dad said. "I hope my son is behaving himself.

I blushed, squeezing Lily's hand. Mr. Evans was cut off by his wife, however, and didn't get a chance to answer.

"He's so charming and polite," she said. "An absolutely wonderful young man. Come sit down."

I grinned at Lily and we followed the group of parents into the sitting room, taking a seat on the floor together.

"Lily is a wonderful girl too you know," Mum said. "Of course you know. If you have a child like that, I can't see how you wouldn't see it. James absolutely adores her."

"Mum!" I protested.

"Well, don't deny it, James," she said, waving me off. "She's such a sweet girl."

Lily blushed, leaning against my shoulder. I grinned at her. "How much do you want to bet that the next hour is going to consist of the four of them complimenting each other on raising such fantastic children?"

"We are pretty great," she said, shrugging as if it were obvious.

"I never argued that we weren't," I said, laughing and kissing her cheek.

I looked up at the parents. It seemed as if my Mum and Dad couldn't care less if Mr. and Mrs. Evans were muggles. The thought didn't even seem to cross their minds as they stood there, talking to each other and babbling about Lily and I for the most part.

The interesting conversation, it would seem, held off until dinner. I was just ladling gravy over my delicious –smelling pot roast when Mrs. Evans brought it up.

"My husband and I were wondering if you could enlighten us a bit on the Order of the Phoenix," she said simply, dropping some broccoli onto her plate.

"Mum—" Lily began.

"Lily, please," Mrs. Evans said. "We hear about it from Lily, but she likes to edit, and she knows she can with us, because, obviously, our only connection to the wizarding world is through her. And we'd like the full story from someone who doesn't choose to leave out details."

"I don't edit," Lily said.

"You do if it's for your own benefit," her father said.

I looked at my parents. They both had smiles on their faces, though, despite the fact that sometimes my mother hated talking about the Order of the Phoenix.

"It's a wonderful cause," Mum said. "Our world is on the brink of a war—a war that will and already is affecting everyone. And the Order of the Phoenix is led by the brightest and most talented wizard I have ever met, or even heard of. And those fighting beside him are dedicated, brave, talented, and will change the war. And I heartily support my son in his choice to join them."

I stared for a moment. She'd never actually said that to me.

"It's dangerous, though?" Mr. Evans wondered.

"Yes," Dad said. "Of course it. But so many are suffering at the hands of Lord Voldemort, and well, those on the good side are doing their best to keep him at bay. We need them to do that. The Order of the Phoenix saves so many lives, and they are truly the hope we have. The severity of the situation, I know as someone who works within the Ministry of Magic, we need these people. And I know James is perfect for the job, and I know he cares. And I have faith in him."

I smiled to myself. I couldn't help it.

_Next Chapter: "Why couldn't you just be normal?" _


	32. Headquarters

**_A/N: I posted two days in a row in honor of summer, which has more or less started for me at this point. _**

Chapter 32.

Lily:

"You were singing in the shower," Petunia said, standing in my doorway with a hand on her hip.

"Oh?" I said. "Fancy that."

"You have an atrocious voice," she said.

"It's no worse than yours," I said.

"But you never sing in the shower," she said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was," I said.

"Why are you singing?" she demanded.

"I don't know," I said.

"You're really happy lately," she accused.

"There's no lately about it," I said.

"Ever since you started dating that Potter boy," she said.

"He has a name. His name is James. And he's very nice, if you got to know him," I informed her.

"A nice freak…" she said thoughtfully.

I threw my brush at her, proceeding to hit her in the forehead with it. She glared at me.

"That hurt," she said stiffly.

"You deserved it," I replied.

"So you sing in the shower because you're in love with a boy?" she continued to prod me.

"I guess you could say that," I said.

"Why couldn't you just be normal?" she demanded.

"Why couldn't you just be nicer?" I returned. "Sometimes… I don't even understand you, believe me. And that's saying something."

She sighed. "Are you going to see him?"

"Yes, I am," I said.

"You should marry someone normal so your children will be normal," she said.

"My children will be my definition of normal," I said. "Your children however… I can only imagine at this point."

She stuck her tongue out at me.

I smiled and, just to bother her, turned right on the spot in front of her eyes, disappearing and reappearing on the Potter's front step.

I knocked on the door and waited patiently for someone to answer.

James pulled back the door, a grave expression on his face.

"Hi…" I said cautiously.

"Hi," he said, holding his hand out for me.

"What's wrong, James?" I wondered.

"The wizard my dad personally trained and recommended in the Ministry was found dead," he said. "With his wife and their six-year-old son… All three of them. The Dark Mark was above their house."

"Oh James…" I said. "Is your father okay?"

"He's just shocked," he said. "It's horrible. A six-year-old?"

"Is there any indication why? Was he part of the Order?" I wondered.

"No," he said. "But he's a very influential wizard, had a good job. Very talented. They think—the Ministry, I mean, but Dad and I agree with them—that the Death Eaters probably wanted them on their side, and he and his wife refused."

I shook my head, putting my arms around him. "This is why we're joining the Order. For people like them."

"I'm glad you understand," he said. "Have you ever just felt so right about something?"

"A couple of things now," I said. "I think you've asked me that before."

"I know…" he said. "But this is just right to me. Joining the Order. And being with you. They both sort of just click into place."

"I love you, James," I said.

"I love you too," he said, rubbing my back. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"Where would we go?" I wondered.

"Perhaps the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix?" he offered.

"We have no idea where that is," I said.

"Did you not get your post this morning, Lily?" he asked.

"No…" I said. "I just came here'

"Oh," he said. "Well you would've gotten a letter from Dumbledore. He wants to meet with the both of us today. At the Leaky Cauldron in London. Because he has some important matters to discuss with us. Things he can't write in a letter."

"Ah," I said. "Well that sounds like a good idea to me. Shall we?"

"Yes," he said.

He took my hand and we turned as a pair, reappearing just outside the Leak Cauldron on the London street.

"Good morning," Tom said cheerfully to the both of us as we walked inside. "Can I interest either of you in a drink or a meal?"

"We're actually here to meet someone," James said, looking around the pub. "But as he isn't here yet, I'll have a cold butterbeer. What about you Lily?"

"I'll have one too," I said, moving to sit down at a table. James sat across from me, taking my hand.

"I love you," he said, grinning. He squeezed my hand tightly.

"I love you too," I said.

Just as Tom put the butterbeer in front of us, the chair from the table next to us spun around to face our table, and Albus Dumbledore said promptly down in it.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully. "Miss Evans, Mr. Potter. I hope you both are well."

"We're wonderful," I said. "How are you, Professor?"

"I am simply splendid, thank you," he said. "Tom could I have a glass of water?"

"Of course, of course," Tom said, ducking away quickly.

"I'm glad that you both could meet me," he said. "I didn't doubt that you would, of course."

"We're glad to be here," James said as Tom put water in front of Dumbledore.

'Thank you, Tom," Dumbledore said, before looking at both of us over his half-moon spectacles. "Once we are finished here, I think we best be off."  
>He looked around the pub carefully, then sighed.<p>

"This is perhaps not one of my wiser moves, but one cannot help but want to visit the Leaky Cauldron from time to time."

I looked at James, who gave me a puzzled look in return.

"I will meet you outside," Dumbledore announced. He waved his wand briskly above his head, and vanished quickly, waving his wand once more when he walked out the door.

I looked at James, confused again.

"I think he wants us to wait a moment," he said.

"I'm sorry," Tom said. "Was I supposed to bring you two waters?"

He pointed at the glass next to us.

"No thank you," James said. "How much is all of this?"

He passed over the sickles and we stood up to go outside.

Dumbledore was waiting around the corner, casually reading a _Daily Prophet._

"I apologize," he said, not looking up as we walked toward him. "That was quite foolish of me to meet you there."

"Excuse me, sir?" James said.

"I'll explain shortly," he said. "How about the two of you walk down the street a ways, and do me a favor by apparating to Uppingham in Rutland county? I will meet you there, at the White Waters Pub."

James and I started down the street, and turned when we got to the corner. Just as I looked back, I noticed that Dumbledore was already gone.

-CD-

James:

Rutland County was rural. Cows were practically wandering through the streets on their own accord in the countryside outside of Uppingham, where Lily and I appeared on purpose.

"It's not too far from the main bit of Uppingham," I said, taking her hand.

We walked with the hot summer sun on the back of our necks, heading toward the town. The White Waters pub was just on the outskirts, doors flung open to coax in a damp summer breeze, the smell of stale beer wafting from the outside.

"They're not muggles," Lily commented, pointing into the kitchen as we passed the open door. A stout woman was standing in the doorway, hands on her hips with a wand pinched in her pudgy fist. "But their customers are."

"Let's go up to the bar," I suggested, walking up slowly.

"What can I do you for?" the woman asked, appearing briskly behind the counter.

"We're meeting someone here," I said. "Not one of your usual customers, if you will.'

"Oh you're meeting Albus. All righ', all righ'. Go on up the stairs back there. E's up there waiting," she said. "I'll be up in mo' to serve you."

"Thank you," Lily said, as we turned to go up the stairs.

We headed up the stairs and found Dumbledore standing in the room at the top, hands clasped behind his back.

"Hello, hello," he said. "I'm sorry I seem to be taking you on a scenic tour of the British countryside. Easily a Death Eater could've been sitting in Tom's pub there, and so I wiped their memories, I don't know if you noticed. If they saw me meeting with you, then they would instantly assume that I was recruiting you for the Order of the Phoenix. Obviously, they are astute enough. However, it is necessary to lay a bit of false trail. If I meet you in London they might guess that the headquarters of the Order would be there. But then they overhear that I am taking you to Rutland. And, well, the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is not in Rutland.

"And now," he said. "In case of being overheard, could you both grasp my arms. And I will take you to where the actual Headquartres is."

He turned on the spot, taking both of us with him. We reappeared on a quiet road in midmorning sun.

"Welcome to Bishopsworth, just outside of Bristol," he said. "For the moment, we have remained quite undetected. Still, I feel the need to write this to you in case of eavesdropping." He scribbled on one piece of paper. "_The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is located at the house of Astor Shacklebolt, at number sixteen Devons Court."_

I looked up after reading it, seeing a house on the corner where there had previously been none. Lily smiled, and we started forth, Dumbledore accompanied us up the walk, and pushed the door open after waving his wand in front of it.

"Dumbledore!" a man I knew to be the auror Alastor Moody said gruffly, walking up. "I need a word with you."

"Yes, yes, Alastor. Where is Astor?" Dumbledore wondered.

"She's in the kitchen, cooking again. Making some bloody good stew, I think. Stew in the summer! Only she could make people okay with that."

"All right, I'll be with you shortly, Alastor. I must introduce our latest members," Dumbledore said.

"Kids?" Moody said.

"Adults," Dumledore argued. "Alastor Moody, this is James Potter—I believe you've met his father—and Miss Evans."

"Potter, eh?" Alastor said gruffly. "I do know your father, good man." He shook my hand. Then he shook Lily's.

"Tiny little thing you are," he commented. "Bet you wield a great deal of power."

"Lily is one of the applicants to the auror program," Dumbledore pointed out. "If you'll excuse us, Alastor."

"Certainly," he said.

We walked deeper into the house, entering the kitchen. A cluster of witches and wizards were pouring over scrolls of parchment. McGonagall was one of them, and Marlene's brother Simon was there, glasses falling down his nose. He looked up when we entered.

"Hello, Lily," he said brightly. "Glad to see you here."

"Lily, James, let me introduce to you Kingsley Shacklebolt, I believe you know him, however. He was our head boy a year ago. There's Arthur Weasley, Dorcas Meadowes, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, and my good friend Elphias Doge. You know Minerva. There are, of course, many more of us. But this group is going over some specific information we just discovered. Everyone, this is James Potter, and Lily Evans. And there by the counter is our delightful hostess, Kingley's mother, Astor."

Astor was a tall and thin black woman, with a solid plait of white hair down her back. She had an apron over her front, and a bright smile with very white teeth to match her hair.

"Nice to meet you. You're just in time for lunch. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Oh I'm fine, thank you," Lily said, smiling.

"Are you certain dear?" Astor returned.

"I'm certain," Lily said. "Thank you."

"What about you, James?" Astor asked.

"No thank you," I said, smiling too.

"So polite," she said.

"I'll be back shortly," Dumbledore said. "Make yourselves comfortable."

-CD-

_Next Chapter: "Now James, let's not beat around the bush here. Why did you ask to see me?" _


	33. A Question

**_A/N: Another update. Because I felt like it. :D - I learned the other day that this is the only emoticon without some sort of connotation attached to it... _**

Chapter 33.

James:

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Mum asked me.

"Positive," I said.

"Can't you tell he is Calliope?" Dad wondered. "He's been serious since October."

Mum smiled. "You're growing up so quickly. A member of the Order of the Phoenix…"

"Please don't cry," I said, shaking my head. "I need to go. I told him I would be there at noon. Lily's at Headquarters."

Mum nodded. "Good luck."

"Thanks," I said, grinning. I turned on the spot and apparated onto the sidewalk outside the Evans' house.

I walked quickly up the steps, hands in the pockets of my jeans, nervous. I drew one out and knocked on the door.

Mr. Evans pulled it back, expecting me.

"Hello, James," he said, smiling at me. "Come on in."

"Mr. Evans," I said nodding. I shook his hand when I got inside and walked through the door, into the foyer of the comfortable Evans house. It was very quiet.

"How are you?" he asked me as I looked around awkwardly.

"I'm well," I said. "How are you and Mrs. Evans?"

"We're doing very well," he said. "Come in, come in."

He led me into the parlor, where I'd been so many times in the past month, getting to know their family—though usually without Petunia. An old victrola hummed out a peaceful tune in the corner. Gesturing for me to sit on the sofa across from him, Mr. Evans took a seat on a comfortable red armchair.

"How is Petunia?" I asked, making small talk, unsure exactly how to go on.

"She's well too," he said. "Kind of you to ask. She and Eva are doing some serious wedding business today. I thought it was better for me to keep out of it. Now, James, let's not beat around the bush here, shall we? Why did you ask to see me? When my daughter wasn't here?"

"I have a very important question for you," I said, hoping my confidence seeped into my voice.

"Very important?" Mr. Evans repeated.

"Yes," I said. "Life-changing, if you will."

"Well ask away," he said.

"I came here to tell you that I love your daughter very much. She is everything to me, and I can't imagine not having her in my life. She is amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and I'm the luckiest man in the world to have her, and for her to want me. You know how I feel about her, sir. I told you that the second time I met you. And now, seven months later… I am here to ask you for her hand in marriage."

His shock morphed quickly into a smile.

"I was wondering when you would be coming to have this conversation with me," he said. "I'm surprised it took you so long."

"I didn't want you to think we were rushing into anything," I said.

"I know my daughter," he said. "And when she makes a decision, she doesn't do it lightly. She sticks to her guns, that girl."

I nodded.

"And so, I would like to say, James, that I would be honored to have you as my son-in-law," he said simply.

I smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Evans."

"How are you going to propose?" he wondered.

"We're going to dinner in a couple of evenings, and I thought we'd go for a walk… Would you like to see the ring?" I wondered.

"Why not?" he said.

I pulled the velvet black ring box out of the pocket of my jeans, opening it up. The ring, gold with three diamonds, glimmered brightly in the box.

"It's goblin-made," I said. "I don't' know if that means anything to you though…"

"It's a nice ring," he said. "Perfect for Lily."

"That's what I thought," I said, closing the box and putting it in my pocket again.

He cleared his throat. "This remains between you and me. But I like you quite a bit better than the man who will be my son in law next month."

"It's nice to hear things like that," I said, laughing a little. "I'm glad you approve of me, Mr. Evans."

"Call me Henry," he said.

"All right, sir," I said, grinning. I reached out to shake his hand.

He smiled at me. "I know she'll say yes."

"I banking on that," I said.

-CD-

Lily:

"Wow," he said.

"Wow what?" I demanded.

"You look… beautiful," he said.

"You sound so surprised," I teased, reaching out to take his hand.

"No…" I said. "Not surprised. Just awestruck for the millionth time. As I am every time I see you."

I smiled at him, and he put an arm around me.

"It's beautiful dress," he said, running his hands through my hair.

"Thanks," I said, blushing.

"Come on," he said. "I've got a great evening planned, you know."

"OH do you?" I said, laughing.

"Why do you sound so doubtful?" he demanded.

"Because you sounded so surprised when you said I looked beautiful," I replied, chuckling.

"Sometimes…" he said, chuckling.

Over the past month, we'd been working studiously with the Order. All of our friends had joined shortly afterward, and were breaking off into separate assignments, learning and following the senior members through their work, and learning exactly what it was we were doing. Almost everyone in the Order had a full-time job, and so they were, for the time being, before we all got jobs, relying heavily on us to keep things grounded if people were tied up at work.

We hadn't been in any sort of danger at this point. I knew it was coming, and that we couldn't possibly evade it forever, but it was nice to know that we were becoming quickly and easily prepared for it.

"Are you happy?" James asked me all of a sudden.

"Yes I am," I said. "I've actually never been happier. Not even after I found out that I was a witch… I've never been happier than I am now."

"I like hearing that," he said.

"It's mostly because of you, this elation," I pointed out.

"That makes me feel even better, you have no idea," he said, shaking his head.

"I love you," I said. "And that makes me happy. You make me happy. So happy. I love you."

"I love you too, Lily," he said, grinning.

"I think we've established the love, haven't we?" I said, chuckling brightly.

He spun me around. "Yes. Let's go to dinner."

The restaurant I suggested was a muggle place in London that I had been going to for Italian food since I was young, but old enough that my parents trusted to take me to a fancy restaurant without having to worry about me misbehaving. My parents still took me there every summer in celebration of my birthday, usually on my half birthday. I loved it. It gave the house-elves a run for their money—and so did Astor Shacklebolt, I was beginning to learn.

We apparated to that street in London, walking hand in hand down the sidewalk.

"Lovely night, isn't it?" he commented brightly as we walked toward the restaurant.

I laughed.

"What's funny?" he wondered.

"Most people complain when the only think they can talk about is the weather… and yet, I think we're so comfortable, that even the weather is a good topic," I said.

"I agree," he said, pulling open the door to the restaurant for me.

I walked in falling into the crowd waiting for seats.

"I have reservations," James announced, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the front.

"Reservations?" I said. "You are prepared."

"I used a telephone and everything," he said, sounding quite proud of himself.

I chuckled and he stepped up to the hostess.

"Reservation for two under the name of Potter," he said, sliding his arm around me.

"Right this way," she said, leading us around the crowd toward the back of the restaurant. I sat down comfortably across from James, after he kindly pulled my chair out for me.

"Thank you,' I said, smiling and watching him sit down.

"You're welcome," he announced, taking my hand. "So what do you recommend, love?"

"Anything," I said. "It's all amazing."

"I'll take your word for it," he said, chuckling a little and flipping open the menu.

"Good evening," the waiter said, appearing by the table. "My name is Anthony and I'll be serving you this evening. Can I start you off with a nice bottle of wine?"

James looked at me. "Preferences, love?"  
>"Red," I said. "How about a Sangiovese?"<p>

"Sounds good to me," James said. "We'll have a bottle of the Sangiovese."

"I'm getting the mushroom ravioli," I announced.

"Oh that does sound good," he commented, "But I'm going to have to go with… the veal parmesan."

"That's really good too," I said. "I've had half of their menu, I feel, at this point."

"Well then I'll take your word for it," he said, smiling at me.

I smiled back and squeezed his hand.

"I love you," he said again, laughing a little. "How much do I say that, Lily?"

"I think I've lost count on how many times we say that to each other," I said, shaking my head.

"Well I can't help myself," he said. "It just happens when I love you."

"I love you too, James," I said, laughing with him.

-CD-

Lily:

After dinner, which he proudly paid with muggle money—with my assistance—we headed out into the late London evening. The air was fresh and summery, and it was nice and warm for my short-sleeved dress.

"Where are we going?" I wondered.

"There's a park around here that has a nice pond, I just thought we could take a walk," he said, squeezing my hand.

"That sounds lovely," I said, leaning against his side.

The park was illuminated with the occasional glowing lamp. The trees, a combination of oaks and willows, which cast shadows across the grass, tinted blue in the pale moonlight.

"it's beautiful," I said as we walked toward the pond. A perfect reflection of the moon hovered as a chunk on the water, surrounded by glittering stars and the inky indigo blue of the sky.

"It is," he agreed as I slid my pumps off and put my bare feet on the grass. I slid the blades between my toes and spun in a quick circle. The skirt of my dress twirled around me, rolling in the breeze I created. James chuckled and pulled me close, kissing me. He took me up in his arms and spun me in a circle, starting to dance gracefully on the grass with me. I twirled with him on the lawn by the pond.

He dipped me back and kissed me on the lips, my hair almost touching the ground. Pulling me back up, he drew me closer to him.

"I love you," he whispered, hand on the small of my back, holding me close.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he kissed me before I could reply.

"Lily," he said after a moment. "Do you know how much I care about you?"

"You tell me all the time," I whispered.

"And how I couldn't ever imagine my life without you? You mean everything to me. I can't even fathom what I did to deserve you, and it amazes me every day that you love me just as I love you…"

"James…" I said.

"Wait," he said. "Let me say this. I just want you to know that I can't imagine a single day without you, and I want to have everything with you. So…" He dropped to one knee, reaching into his pants pocket. My breath caught in my throat.

'James…" I said again.

"Lily, will you marry me?" he asked, opening the ring box carefully.

I stared at him. "Of course."

He laughed as I grabbed his hands and pulled him up, throwing my arms around him.

"James… I love you so much," I said. "Oh my god… I can't believe it…"

He laughed a little again, hugging me close. He kissed my cheek, finding the tears there.

"Why are you crying?" he demanded.

"Because I get you forever," I said simply. "And that makes me so happy."

-CD-

_Don't you just love proposals?_

_Next Chapter: "Disapparate! They're setting the place on fire!" _


	34. A Team Effort

**_A/N: First off, I got bored and excited and updated again. Sometimes I'm weird like that. Second: I have two/three reviews to reply to from forever ago so I thought I'd do it here as opposed to a PM. To Prongster: The stuff about the Knights of Walpurgis is true (I didn't know until I started writing this fic and wanted to get things accurate). And then to the two anoymous reviewers: James is referred to as a seeker in the movies. He plays with a snitch in _Snape's Worst Memory_. Yes. But JKR said that he was a chaser, and her word is my law. _**

Chapter 34.

Lily:

"So let me get this straight. You're getting _married?" _Petunia said.

"Yes," I said, thrusting my hand out to show her my ring. Sadistically, I noted that it was quite larger than the one Vernon had given her.

"To that freak?" she said.

"No, to James," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Am I in your wedding?" she demanded.

"Am in yours?" I asked.

She frowned. Of course I wasn't in her wedding.

"Well I wouldn't want to come to a freak wedding anyway," she snapped, turning on her heel and stalking out of my room.

"Good," I said, shrugging and fixing my blouse.

I turned on my heel and apparated to just outside Astor Shacklebolt's house. I turned briskly and walked inside, knowing James and the others were going to be in shortly.

"Good morning Lily!" Astor said happily as I ducked past a rapidly moving Edgar Bones and entered the kitchen. Marlene and Simon were already there, as well as Remus who was pouring over a scroll carefully.

"Morning Astor, morning everyone," I said.

I settled down next to Marlene. "What are we looking at?" I reached for a scroll, and Marlene shrieked.

"What is that?" she demanded, grabbing my hand and yanking it toward her.

"Marlene, don't scream like that, you would think that Voldemort was outside the kitchen window," Simon said, yawning and flipping his scroll over.

"Don't talk like that, Simon," Astor scolded, smacking him on the back of the head with her _Daily Prophet. _

"But Simon, look at her hand!" Marlene ordered.

Simon looked up. "Sparkly. No wonder it distracted you."

Marlene glared at him. "So… Lily, is there something you need to tell us?" Remus stared at my hand for a moment.

"Well…" I said. "I was going to wait until James was here…"

"What about me?" James asked, appearing in the doorway to the kitchen. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

"Marlene noted the addition to my hand," I said.

"Oh the ring?" Padfoot-or Sirius as I still hoped to think of him, despite James corrupting me—said.

"We're getting married," I said.

Astor clapped her hands excited.

"Congratulations," Remus said, standing up to give both James and me a hug.

"Did you already tell Sirius?" I asked James.

"Of course," James said, shrugging.

"Of course," I said, shaking my head.

Emmeline appeared in the doorway then, followed by Peter and several more members of the Order.

"Lily and James are engaged!" Marlene proclaimed excitedly when Frank and Alice entered the suddenly quite cramped kitchen.

They all burst out into exclamations of congratulations and cheers of happiness.

"When is the big day?" Alice asked.

"Oh we have no idea yet," I said, taking James's hand.

"Don't' worry all of you are invited," he assured them, kissing me on the top of the head.

"Yes, yes," Alastor Moody said from behind us, shaking his head. "Enough chatter. We have work to do."

"Yes, yes, Alastor. As if it isn't any reason to celebrate in times like this," Astor scolded him. "We all need a little happiness, I think."

Alastor just shook his head. "I'm going to need Potter, Black, Lupin, Longbottom and Shacklebolt."

"Bye," I said to James leaning up to kiss him quickly.

"Bye love," he said. "I'll be back shortly."

"Hopefully by lunch time," Sirius said.

"Don't wish your life away," Moody snapped at him. "Come on, come on. We're going upstairs to talk before we set out."

"Set out?" James said, physically rippling with excitement.

"If you're going to wet yourself, Potter, then perhaps you shouldn't come along," Moody said as they left the room.

"Boys," Astor said, shaking her head.

Simon sighed. "Dumbledore is trying to get us familiar with this map of southern Welsh coast. He has a feeling there is a pocket of Death Eaters down there, and he wants us to potentially go and check it out."

He multiplied his roll of parchment and shot copies of it at all of us so that we could look it over.

"Where do you want to get married?" Marlene asked me as I followed the pattern of a river on the parchment with the tip of my wand.

"Ladies," Simon said, laughing, his tone only half-heartedly scolding.

"Oh shush,' Marlene said. "We can look at maps and talk about the wedding."  
>"I don't even know yet," I said. "We want to have small wedding parties, but we don't know if that even works, with all of our friends."<p>

"Petunia will be in the party of course, which throws him off balance, if you had Em, Alice and me," Marlene said, looking at the other two girls.'

"Not likely," I said. "She and I aren't going to each other's weddings."

"Really?" Emmeline said. "Are you two really not getting along at all anymore?"

"It hasn't really been right since I was eleven," I said, shrugging. "I'm not going to worry about it."

Emmeline just shrugged and turned back to her map.

-CD-

James:

"Children," Moody hissed, sitting down on the patchwork quilt that adorned the guest bed upstairs in the Shacklebolt household.

"Oh come now, Alastor," Kingsley said. "If you didn't' want to work with children, there are a whole host of other Order members you could've picked."

Moody scowled. "Right then. Hestia Jones overheard Nott and Rowle just this morning. They have plans to attack the home of the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. We have it on good authority that once Xavier Tyles is out of the way for them, they have hopes to bring in one of their own, hidden among the minisitry ranks to take his place. Hopefully we can get to Tyles in time to get him, his wife, and their three children out safely. But there is a chance that things could get a bit risky."

"We know, we know," Padfoot said. "We have to be alert, aware, and constantly vigilant."

"Exactly," Moody said, nodding his head gruffly. "We make for Tinworth. Sage Crossing. Do not do anything stupid, or even anything at all, until I tell you to."

"Will do," Frank said.

We all turned quickly, appearing in a scattered line across Sage Crossing and hurrying after Moody who was already striding toward a tall brick house with vines creeping up the sides.

"Would they attack in the light of day?" I demanded.

"Sometimes they prefer it," Moody said. "Diggle used to call them nocturnal, but there are a few of them that think it's a bit more fun to put on displays in the middle of the day. Terrify any muggles, murder any witch or wizard that comes to the defense of their friends. All in broad daylight."

He pushed open the gate to the house and we all hurried up the front walk, the wind picking up and rushing through the leaves in the trees above.

He rapped several times on the door, and a dainty middle-aged witch pulled it back.

"Alastor?" she said. "What are you doing here?"

Frank and I kept our eyes trained on the road, backs to the house.

"Let us in, Rebecca," he said. "The Death Eaters are coming."

She gasped, and we all slipped into her house.

"Longbottom, Potter, take the windows. Rebecca, find Xavier and begin to pack up the children. We'll take them by side-along apparition, now, if you would like. Kingsley, Remus, Sirius, take them back to Rutland, White Waters Pub."

Rebecca rushed up the stairs and I kept my eyes trained out the window of the dining room, toward the front garden, while Frank took the back windows. My breath pooled on the windows, then faded away, then pooled again.

"James!" he shouted.

"What?" I demanded.

"They're here," he said. "Six of them!"

"Moody!" I yelled loudly, moving to the front door.

"I'm coming lads!" Moody replied, landing with a thud in the hallway next to me.

"They're coming in the back," Frank yelled.

"Rebecca is just leaving with Xavier and the children," Moody informed me. "And the other three. They still need a bit of time before we can follow them. I don't care if they blow up this bloody house as long as no one's in it. Xavier took everything of importance."

We rushed up to join in with Frank.

'Oh lovely, we're outnumbered," I said.

"Not so exciting now, is it Potter?" Moody demanded as the door was blown down.

"Are you kidding me?" I said as I took the first masked Death Eater in combat. "This is the greatest thrill of my life."

"Only you!" Frank replied to that as he knocked one Death Eater on his back.

"Nah, Sirius would think so too," I said, shocking another Death Eater so hard he crumpled.

"Stop your chitchat!" Moody growled. "Actually fight, ladies."

I rolled my eyes and shot another spell at a Death Eater, but in turn earned myself a massive gash from a spell cutting across my cheek from a Death Eater fighting Frank. It gave Frank the opportunity to take the Death Eater down as I stunned the one I was fighting.

"Well then," Moody said. "Clearly not their experienced fighters." We looked down at the six twitching people in front of us. He stunned the one I had stung so badly.

"I suppose we could take them into the ministry," Moody said thoughtfully.

"Or perhaps we could just leave," Frank said, pointing out the door at a line of ten Death Eaters walking toward the house.

"Apparently this was a team effort," I said.

I watched the Death Eater wave his wand in the air, a ball of fire forming above it, that billowed over his head and the heads of his friends.

"Disapparate!" Moody growled. "They're setting the place on fire."

"With their friends inside?" I demanded.

"Death Eaters don't have friends!" Moody said. "Go!"

I turned quickly, knowing where we were supposed to go. I apparated into the upstairs room at the White Waters, Moody and Frank appearing shortly afterward. Padfoot, Moony, Kingsley, and the Tyles family all stood by the wall, the children clinging to their mothers in fear.

"We were outnumbered," Moody said. "Sometimes you just have to leave when they have more than three times what you have. We're going back to headquarters. I'm not saying where it outloud, so you all have to go side-along. Pick a man, and Dumbledore will meet us there."

Rebecca Tyles grabbed my arm.

"Are you ready?" I asked her.

"Are you all right?" she wondered. "That cut looks painful…"

"I'll mend it when we get back," I said. "Hold on tightly."

I turned sharply, pulling her with me.

I could see Headquarters, but she could not. We were taking them to a safe house instead, several houses down the block, also protected by Dumbledore only. We knew it existed, but we didn't know where exactly, and so it was a mystery to even the members of the Order.

Dumbledore strode down the sidewalk in robes of midnight blue, shaking his head.

"My dear, Rebecca," he said, touching the tops of her children's heads as Xavier comforted the youngest girl. Everyone always calmed down when they saw Dumbledore. Even children who didn't know him. They just relaxed, took a few deep breaths.

"Go on inside, Alastor, and the rest of you," Dumbledore said. "She will be pleased you're back for lunch."

Moody rolled his eyes.

"That was quite short," I commented as we walked up the front walk.

"If we'd had more there on our side, we could've been there till nightfall," Moody said, shrugging as I pushed the door open.

"Sandwiches!" Astor called delightedly. Moody sighed.

"Go eat," he said. "James, get someone else to do your face. You're more likely to screw it up if you do it yourself, I've learned."

"Thanks Moody," I said, heading into the kitchen.

"James!" Lily said, standing up quickly when she saw me. "Are you okay? What happened to your face?/'

"Nothing, don't worry," I said. "Death Eaters, that's all."

"Come here," she said, taking one of Astor's clean dishcloths and wetting it with her wand. She wiped it across my face a couple of times, before waving her wand to heal the cut. She put her arms around me in a tight hug.

I couldn't help but keep grinning.

_Next Chapter: "People are going to think it's a shotgun wedding." _


	35. The Rough Life of Snuffles

**_A/N: Let's talk about reviews... I never want to sound mean to any of my reviewers when I reply first here. And I hope my reviewers will never be mean to me or to each other. That being said, don't think I'm going to get mad and that you all have to review anonymously. Unless you're telling me that my fic is stupid or my characters or stupid. Then just don't review at all, because that's not fair. I will still reply here to anyone, because well, replies are usually necessary. To the person who made the review about Kingsley: Damn! I was hoping no one would notice! Yes I know, the book does say that. And I realized that in the second chapter I was writing him in. And then I was torn. I love canon, it is my life, and I won't stray. Except for this case. I had to. He was already there. So yes, you're right. But just go with it. If this is the only place I stray from canon... well I hope that's still okay! Sorry for the large block of text! _**

Chapter 35.

Lily:

"So I have to pick one of them to be my maid of honor and risk insulting the others," I said. "You had it easy. Everyone knew Sirius was going to be your best man."

He shrugged. "I don't think any of them will be all that insulted.'

"Fine," I said, flopping onto my back on his bed. "Let's see… on my massive list of things to accomplish… We need to find a house. And figure out where we're having the wedding. Though I suppose that sort of depends on the when, honestly."

"Lily, Lily," he said, leaning over me and stroking my hair. "Whatever you want."

"I want you to make the decisions so I don't have to," I announced.

He grinned. "I wouldn't say that. I might actually listen to you."

I sighed again. "What do you want, James?"

"I want you to be happy," he said.

"You're so sickeningly sweet," I complained, laughing a little. He grinned and kissed my forehead.

"NEWT letters come today," he said.

"I know," I said. "And potentially my letter from the Ministry." I sighed.

"Lily…" he said.

"What?"

"You don't sound that enthused," he commented.

"I don't know…' I said.

"Look…" he said. "You don't need any money, love. If you're going to marry me, my money is your money… you don't need a job yet… Fight full time with me Lily. You've been doing it thus far…"

"James…" I said.

"Come on love. Padfoot and Wormy are going to do it, and Marlene…"

"And Emmeline," I said.

"Exactly," he said. "And Remus."

I sighed. "Damn, James."

He looked down at me.

"So I guess I'm worrying about these NEWT scores for nothing then?" I said. "I could've failed everything, and I could still be a member of the Order of the Phoenix.'

He laughed. "Exactly."

I sighed and sat up, putting my arms around him. "How about an October wedding? I know that's really quick and we'd have to do some rapid planning, but… I love October. It's my favorite month of the year."

"That gives us, two and a half months, Lily. Do you think we can pull it off?"

"I think that with your mother and my mother we could definitely pull it off," I said, diving for the bedside table where his calendar was. "October twenty-first."

"October twenty-first," he echoed. "Sounds like a good date to me. I like it."

"We need to send out invitations now, you know. It's usually a four to six months in advance sort of thing. People are going to think it's a shotgun wedding."

He stared at me. "Ha. Not on my life."

"Obviously not," I said. "We're too young for children."

I grinned at him and he grinned back.

"Merlin I love you," he said, knocking me onto my back again

"I love you too," I said, twisting my fingers into his hair.

He leaned over me. "I'm so excited for October. You have no idea, Lily."

I grinned up at him.

"Let's go tell our mums and get invitations," I said.

-CD-

Lily:

James and I returned back to my house after going to the most popular wizard wedding store in Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley had everything, of course.

"Did mail come for me?" I demanded of Mum. "This morning?"

"Yes," she said. "You were off to James's, and then back, and then off to the shop before I could give it to you. One very official-looking letter. I put it on the kitchen counter by the phone."

I darted into the kitchen to get it, leaving my mum with James in the sitting room.

"NEWT scores?" James asked, putting an arm around me as I broke the official seal on the envelope.

"Yes," I said, opening it carefully. I read down the scores and sighed deeply.

"Look at that," James said thoughtfully. "Os in Charms, Herbology, Defense, Transfiguration and Potions, and an E in Arithmancy. You're brilliant, you are. I'll be lucky if I do half as well as you, seeing as we all know I'm not all that wonderful at applying myself."

"I'm sure you did just fine," I said, smiling at him and putting my arms around his middle.

"Yeah, I'm not as smart as you are," he argued, kissing my forehead. "Not with the books. I like the practical, and the hands on.'

"You two won't be this sickeningly sweet after you're married, will you?" Mum demanded.

"I don't know," I said. "Stick around and see."

Mum just rolled her eyes.

"Do you want to go see how you did?" I wondered.

"Oh why the hell not?" he said.

"I'll see you later, I suppose," Mum said. "Boy do you flit in and out of here-rapidly."

James and I turned together and reappeared inside his house, skipping the formalities of a front door.

"Where are my NEWT scores?" James asked his mother.

"Hello to you too. How did the wedding invite ordering go?" she wondered.

"Very well," I said. "We picked some, if I do say so myself, very pretty invitations, and the witch said we can customize them as soon as we make our decisions on time and place and then take them back to her and she'll send them all out."

"Which makes me think," his mum said. "What about if you had the wedding at Aunt Nell's house up outside of Edinburgh, by the cliffs and the old castle?"

"I'd have to show Lily," James said.

"By all means, of course," she said. "Now, you want your NEWT scores?" She pulled the letter off of a table beside her couch and passed it to him.

He slid the envelope open and reading carefully.

"How did you do?" I wondered.

"O's in everything but Arithmancy and… Potions," he said.

"That's amazing James!" I said. "Though you know, if you'd actually done your work in potions and not read Quidditch magazines..."

"You don't need to nag me, we're not married yet," he said, shaking his head and leaning down to kiss me.

-CD-

James:

I took Lily's hand, ready to take her up to my Aunt Nell's house in Scotland.

A resounding crack, however, interrupted us, preventing our departure. Padfoot appeared in front of us, fuming.

"Blasted witch," he growled.

"Excuse me?" Lily said. "Who are you talking about?"

"Emmeline!" he said. "I don't know what's she's playing at…"

"Uh oh," I said unsympathetically. "Did she finally dump you?"

"No!" Padfoot growled. "But it doesn't look like there's going to be much of a relationship anyway…"

"And why would that be?" Lily asked curiously. "Did she do something?"

"No, she's a bloody saint," he said, shaking his mane of shaggy hair. "Damn girl offered herself up to be the one to go abroad. Dumbledore needed recruiters for foreign wizards, and she offered herself up happily for the position—she's going to get Yellow Fever, I already told her that."

"Is she going to Africa?" Lily wondered.

"No," he snapped.

"Then I doubt she's going to get Yellow Fever," Lily said. "Where is she going?"

"Soviet Union," he said. "I told her good luck. Communists are probably on the Death Eaters' side already."

"And so have you broken up because of this?" I wondered.

"Well, she said we can attempt to do the long-distance thing, but I've always sort of doubted heavily that I would be any good at that sort of thing…" he said, shrugging. "Which means the relationship is down the drain."

"Do you love her?" Lily asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Then why couldn't it work?"

"Because," he said. "It would be easier to not be involved at all with her, than to be with her, but not have her."

"Well that's a sad way of looking at it," I said. "So what? You're just going to find someone to replace her who's more easily accessible?"

"Oh no, we're going to give it a shot," he said. "But it's not going to work."

"Says who? If you go in with that attitude, then you're damn right it's not going to work," Lily said.

"Mate, why don't you go with her?" I asked.

"I can't leave," Padfoot said simply.

"Why not?"

"because it's just… This is my home, and every one of my friends are here, my family, and I know she's the same way, but her way of keeping them safe, is going to away to find people to help. My way of protecting the people I love is being here, able to fight hands on, at the very heart of the problem," he said. "I can't leave. And she understands that. She doesn't like it, but she understands."

Lily nodded. "I think it's worth it to give it a shot. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work."

"All right," he said, sighing.

"Good choice, mate," I said.

"Oh," Sirius said. "And I'm rich now, by the way."

"Huh?" I said.

"My uncle died," Sirius said.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Lily said.

"We were pretty close," Sirius said. "But I haven't seen him since fifth year… but apparently, he left me half of what he's worth. And that's a lot, mind you. I heard my mum is furious, she just about brought him back to life just to kill him again."

"How did he die?" I wondered. "Not Death Eaters, right?"

"No," he said. "Natural causes. He was pretty bloody old. And so, that brings me to my next point."

Lily and I exchanged a look that said "what exactly has been going on in his head today?"

"What's your next point?" I asked.

"I'm moving out," he said. "You'll be moving out with Lily soon, and I'm not just going to stay here with your folks. So I'm moving out. I'm finding a place in London, or maybe Bristol, and I'm moving out."

"My mum will be heartbroken," I pointed out. 'losing both of us at once…"

"Oh yes, she'll be devastated to be alone with your father forever. Finally empty nesters," Padfoot said, shaking his head.

"It's weird," I said.

"What is?" Lily wondered.

"We're growing up," I said.

Padfoot laughed. "That we are, mate. It seems like just yesterday we were switching the heads on the busts outside of Flitwick's office…"

"First year," I said.

"First year?" Lily demanded. "Wow you guys were talented.'

"Only with the spells that could help us cause trouble," he said.

"There's an entire file devoted to me in the Hogwarts records," James said thoughtfully. "And one for Sirius. And then one for the both of us."

"You never told me," Lily said, taking my hand. "What did you do with the Marauder's Map?"

"We left it in the hands of one Albus Dumbledore," I said. "We have a feeling he might need it. And then, maybe someday, he'll find someone else that he thinks it might be a good idea to bestow it upon. I think he has a good eye for that sort of thing."

"It sometimes makes me wonder if I should worry that our headmaster would condone your sort of behavior," Lily said thoughtfully.

"I don't think he so much condones as fosters," Padfoot said.

"Or encourages," I offered.

"because both of those are so much better," Lily said.

"He's a great man, Dumbledore," Padfoot said.

"I think the bright side of the wizarding world is on its knees every day thanking Merlin for his existence, actually," I said.

Lily just laughed. "And the weirdest thing is, you're probably right."


	36. Castles, Dresses and Love Potions

**_A/N: Well... I'm 50 chapters into this. Would anyone get annoyed if I tried to make another story for the rest of this, or should I just keep going the way it is and have one massively long fanfic? _**

Chapter 36.

Lily:

"This castle dates back to the Middle Ages," James said, pushing the door open. "Aunt Nell refuses to live here, because it's _drafty, _but it's one of the nicest places I've ever been. We could have our reception here, and the wedding outside… My uncle Alexander made sure they kept it up and furnished, and that they still continue to do so after his death. And he was the one that put in a beautiful garden out back… there will be fall flowers, and the trees will be in their brilliant fall colors at that time… and if it was raining we could just move the whole thing into the castle…"

He waved his wand and the lights lit up the massive grand entrance hall. The ceiling was massive, and the walls dotted with stained glass windows. A wide, carpeted staircase came down in the middle of the room, leading up to a floor of surrounding balconies, particularly a large one just at the top of the next floor up.

"It's beautiful," I said. "Absolutely breathtaking…"

"Let's go out back, and I'll show you the gardens," he said. He led through several big halls, into a massive glass solarium.

"This, admittedly, is not part of the original design," he said. "My uncle also had this added."

"it's wonderful," I said.

"We could have the dancing in here,' he said, spinning me in a quick circle.

"You've really thought this through," I said, laughing a little.

"I can't help picturing myself marrying you," he said.

I smiled. "Garden?"

"Sure," he said, pushing open a door in the solarium, leading me out back. The summer flowers were in full bloom, so dense and beautiful, vibrant, that I didn't know how the fall flowers would even have any room.

"It's gorgeous," I said, following him up a blue stone path that was set by age into the grass. There was a beautiful white gazebo, large and under the shade of massive trees that would be bright orange at the time of our wedding.

"We're getting married here," I declared, taking his hand in mine.

"I agree," he said, putting his arm around me. "I love you, Lily. I think this will be perfect."

"I agree," I said, smiling. "Man do we have some work to do. I have to get my dress."

"And we need a house," he said. "With furniture."

"And flowers for the wedding," I offered. "And a caterer!

"And a honeymoon," he joked.

"Fighting Death Eaters!" I said.

He kissed my forehead. "We'll make it work. We do have wands, after all."

"Ah yes, wands…" I said. "What would we do without them?"

"be Muggles?" he offered.

"Oh the horror," I said, shaking my head dramatically.

-CD-

Lily:

"You're going to make me cry," Mum said, dabbing at her eyes.

"Merlin, she's going to make _me, _cry," Marlene said, sniffling a little.

"Oh come on. It's the first dress. And it's ugly at that," I said. I turned to the woman helping me find dresses. "Let's try another one, shall we?"

She chuckled, and we left my sniffling mother and maid of honor, Marlene, and Alice who was being the most down to earth of all of them. Emmeline was already off in Yugoslavia, with a promise to be back whenever I needed her for fittings and rehearsals, and obviously, the wedding, as she was my third bridesmaid, to match up with Padfoot, Wormtail and Remus.

"They're teary, aren't they?" the woman helping me, a thin rail by the name of Bridget, said.

"That's my mum for you," I said. "You'd think I was dying, not getting married."

"Well a bride's wedding is a big day for her mother," she said. "And apparently in your case your maid of honor too."

"Marlene is just a bit dramatic," I said, laughing as she stepped out of the room while I pulled the next dress on. She came back in to zip me up.

"What's your groom's name again?" she wondered.

"James," I said. "James Potter."

She laughed, but didn't say anything.

'What's funny?" I asked.

"The way you said a name," she said.

"Which was how?" I wondered.

"Like most of the brides that come in here. Dreamy and swoony. That's how you know they're in love," she said knowingly.

I laughed a little. "I see."

"When's the wedding date, did you say?" she asked. I'd attempted to step around that, because I knew the question of alterations would come into play and getting them done on time. However, Mrs. Potter—who repeatedly asked me to call her Calliope—knew a talented witch seamstress who would do my dress for me in about an hour.

"October twenty-first," I said.

"Oh my that's close," she said. "I don't know if we'd be able to alter anything on time."

I knew that was coming.

"I think I'll be fine. I have a friend who can do it," I said.

"I don't know, they need to be specially trained for wedding dresses, or you never know what could happen," she said.

"I promise I know that she can handle it," I said. "And I knew that this would come up. We scheduled the wedding close, and I said that as soon as I said what date I wanted it. We knew we'd be rushing some things. But I want a fall wedding, and I don't want to wait a year plus."

"He should've proposed sooner," she teased.

"We were still in school," I said. "He didn't want to rush anything in that sense."

"Yes, you are quite young," she said. "But when it's love, it's love. What do you think of this dress?"

I looked at myself in the mirror. The dress I was wearing had a long, full skirt, with lace long sleeves, which came across my chest, at the top, but still maintained a good patch of bare skin between it and the top of the sweetheart neckline. I sighed.

"Well I feel like bride," I said, starting to get teary myself. "it's beautiful. I absolutely love it."

"Let's go out and show your mother and friends," she said, taking my arm gently because I was just about crying all over the dress at this point.

Mum gasped when we walked out there, and Marlene started clapping her hands.

"Please tell me you're crying because you're picking this dress, end of story, moving on!" Marlene said.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"I love it," Mum said, and Alice nodded her agreement.

"It's gorgeous," I said. "I love it too."

"Well I think that's settled then, isn't it?" Alice said, laughing a little.

-CD_

James:

"Where's Lily?" Dumbledore asked, smiling cheerfully as he sat down at the kitchen table in Astor's house.

"Firewhiskey, Albus?" she asked cheerfully, offering him the bottle.

"Don't mind if I do," Dumbledore said, nodding.

"Lily's wedding dress shopping," I explained, taking my own drink and raising it to my mouth.

"Ah yes," he said. "How is the wedding planning going?"

"Quite well," I said. "You know Lily. Very efficient. She'll make it perfect in half the time it would take someone else to make it just plains satisfactory."

"She's always been very good at that," Dumbledore said, laughing a little.

"I know," I said. "Which is why I didn't protest when she said she wanted to get married in October."

He nodded. Sirius yawned next to me, looking at his watch.

"I have a question for you," Dumbledore said.

"Yes?" I said.

"I have a total of three invisibility cloaks, one of which belongs to me, in case of needing to loan it out… Alastor has two of them just for himself. You told me, however, that you have one."

"Yes I do," I said.

"I need to, conveniently, get five people into the Ministry of Magic," he said. "At night. Including myself, however, and I'm going ahead, able to be undetected without a cloak. I need to make the way clear for the rest to follow."

"You can borrow it," I said. "I'm a bit protective of it, however, so I will need it back when you're done. You can borrow it again, I just wouldn't like it changing hands without my knowledge."

"Certainly," he said. "I'll give my cloak to Hestia, and Alastor can take his, and loan his other one to Simon. And I'll loan yours to Lily."

"Lily?" I said.

"She doesn't know she's on this job yet," he explained.

"Is it risky?" I demanded. I saw Padfoot roll his eyes.

"James," Padfoot said. "Being in the Order is risky. Of course it's risky. And she made the choice to be involved in it."

"Sirius is right," Dumbledore said. "But don't worry. We shouldn't be in harm's way."

I nodded. "I just worry."

"With due reason," Dumbledore said. "I'm certain she worries about you too. But you shouldn't. I doubt Hestia or Alastor would let anything happen to her. Or Simon, for that matter. And I certainly wouldn't." He winked brightly at me. Padfoot rolled his eyes again.

"Hey," I said, turning to look at him. "Just because you don't have anyone to worry about doesn't mean you should mock those of us who have."

"I think everyone in this war has someone to worry about," Dumbledore commented.

"I second that," Padfoot said. "Emmeline? I can still worry about her even though our relationship is down the toilet."

"Cheer up, Sirius," Dumbledore said. "It's only that way if you let it be."

"Words of wisdom," I said, raising my glass. The professor laughed, shaking his head and raising his glass in turn. Sirius just rolled his eyes again.

There was noise in the entryway, and Lily entered with Marlene and Alice right behind her.

"Hello ladies," Padfoot said, raising his glass to them as they entered.

"Hello," Lily said, swinging around to kiss me on the cheek. "Guess what."

"What?" I said, laughing a little.

"I got my dress today," she informed me.

"It's beautiful," Marlene said. "She looks beautiful. You'll be hysterical when you see her, I promise you."

"Always good to hear," James said.

"So I finally had the talk with my mum," Lily said.

"Oh?" I said.

"She's not inviting any of her muggle friends," she explained. I had told Lily forever ago that we could do a muggle wedding and not invite my family or a bunch of my friends, but she had said no. So then I offered a wedding where we made all of the wizards pretend they were muggles, which would be harder than just uninviting them. She said it was nonsense. She had no real relatives alive, and she didn't have any muggle friends. She was a witch. She lived in the wizarding world. So a wizarding wedding it was. With her parents, of course, but they were used to it.

"I see," I said, squeezing her hand.

Dumbledore chuckled gently.

"What's funny?" Lily asked, laughing a little too.

"If you told me at the beginning of the school year, when the two of you were sitting in my office, that you might actually get along… well I would've guessed it, but I never really imagined that less than a year later you'd be planning your wedding. I suppose even the best of us are surprised sometimes."

"Are you kidding me?" Padfoot said. "I always knew he would end up with her in the end. One way or another. I was just proud that he didn't finally have to resort to love potions and imperius curses…"

Lily looked at me thoughtfully.

"I would've never," I assured her. "I had more faith in myself than Padfoot."

"Good to know," she said, laughing a little.

_Next Chapter: "First we're going to go jumping off bridges and go dancing across broken glass." _


	37. All Too Easy

**_A/N: One big fic. Sporadic updating. Now that I only had 1 fic to update, it will be whenever i feel like updating, which will never be any farther apart than every other day. Unless I'm on vacation... which won' happen for another 2 months and when I'll probably post anyway (I'm addicted to my computer. I can't leave it home). _**

Chapter 37.

Lily:

"You be careful," James said strictly, his hands on my shoulders.

"I don't know," I said. "I think first we were going to go jumping off bridges and dancing across hot broken glass…"

He narrowed his eyes. "Not funny."

"I think it's hilarious," I said. "I'll be fine James. I promise. I'll be a good girl and listen to Dumbledore and Alastor. I promise!"

He grinned and kissed me quickly. "Bring my cloak back, all right? That thing is worth a lot."  
>"Worried about the cloak are we?" I said, running it through my hands.<p>

"Well if the choice comes down to you or the cloak, you better toss that thing to the ground and run, love," he said, kissing me once more.

"Come on, Lily," Simon said.

"Give her a chance to say goodbye, dimwit," Hestia said. "Just because you're not lucky enough to have a girl Simon doesn't mean they can't be happy."

"Yes, yes," Alastor said. "It's all so touching. You would think she was going off to her death. Merlin."

"Bye James, love you," I said, walking toward the group.

"Love you too," he told me, waving from Astor's kitchen table. Simon, Alastor, Hestia, and I threw cloaks over ourselves.

"All right," Dumbledore said, still visible. "Obviously, the main problem with this trip is that we can't see each other. Until I say so, keep your feet visible." Hestia lifted her cloak to reveal her chunky boots, which were a smaller, less intense version of Alastor's. I mimicked them, revealing my trainers.

"Please apparate with me to wizards' entrance of the Ministry of Magic," Dumbledore said, disappearing. A second later there was a light crack and the air seemed to vibrate. We all followed.

Once at the entrance, I saw Alastor and Hestia's feet, and then Simon's black trainers joined them from the other side. I walked over, and Dumbledore's voice sounded from nowhere.

"Cloaks down, if you will. Now, Alastor, you go first, followed by Hestia, and Simon, then Lily, and I shall bring up the rear. Make a noise if you must stop, any of you. We really can't be running into each other. This is highly inconvenient."

It was well known that Dumbledore and the Ministry had quite a bit of difficulty working hand in hand. They liked him, always, and appreciated his advice, but had moments of tenacity. They didn't quite agree to everything he asked. When Dumbledore was certain that there was a spy for Voldemort deep in the heart of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, they refused to investigate. Dumbledore had it on good knowledge that the man was not only influencing actions within the department, but outside of it as well, and he was stocking up information of confidential Ministry proceedings in order to make an infiltration by Voldemort more easily done.

The goal of our evening was to steal back his secrets, and gather more information about him, in order to present Dumbledore's case more efficiently. Which meant, in turn, truly fighting the Ministry in order to fight Death Eaters. We had to get past night security, in addition to the potential threat of Death Eaters. Dumbledore told James he didn't expect Death Eaters. But then he told Remus and Sirius to make sure people stayed at Headquarters in case someone needed to hurry back and get backup.

We followed the familiar path we had studied on some of Dumbledore's maps, going carefully. If it weren't for the occasional light tap on the back from Dumbledore that I would pass along to Simon in front of me, or who I assumed was Simon, I would've thought I was alone. We held our breath and slowed our place as we moved past a night guard, sliding into the lift, which made loud noises as soon as we entered. I gasped.

"Silencing charm," Dumbledore explained, suddenly visible beside me. "That and our guard friend just realized he had something very important to do several corridors over."

The lift announced the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and the gate slid open, I followed once I knew Simon was out, by seeing his trainer disappear on the other side. Dumbledore must've followed me, because the lift clanged shut again, and the nearest guard started walking in the other direction.

We turned down the corridor, and found the office. Only three of us entered, Hestia and Simon standing outside.

"That was too easy," Moody growled under his breath as Dumbledore lit his wand, visible again, and started to peer over the desk.

"You'd be surprised," Dumbledore said.

"Why did you come anyway?" Moody demanded. "This usually is the sort of work you just send a group of us to do."

"Sometimes one must just enjoy themselves in times such as these," Dumbledore said. He looked up at us, smiling. "Feel free to poke around, just return everything to its exactly proper place, and test for spells before you touch anything."

"You like to enjoy yourself?" I asked.

"I myself find it quite a interesting to see how easy it is for a mildly talented witch or wizard to sneak right into the Ministry of Magic without truly meeting any resisting force."

"Yet," Moody said.

"Yes, yet," Dumbledore said. "I fear that our friends the Death Eaters are just as prepared as we are. I for one would never leave such a store of magical knowledge…" he tapped a scroll, which duplicated, and then tucked it into his robes. "Unattended. Which means, if my thoughts are correct, that we will be joined… in approximately the thirty seconds more that it will take them to come down the corridor on their rounds."

I looked at Alastor.

"Now, how many of them there are, I'm not quite sure," he said. "But I'm hoping that my presence will make this easier and that reinforcements are necessary."

"Sometimes it is good to have the most powerful wizard in the world around," Moody commented.

"I never claimed to be the most powerful, Alastor," Dumbledore contradicted.

"They're here," Simon's voice hissed.

"Under the cloaks," Dumbledore said.

We all disappeared just in time for a pair of Death Eaters I didn't recognize to appear in the doorway.

"I could've sworn I saw light," one of them muttered to the other, twirling his wand in his fingers.

"Yeah, well, when you get tired your eyes play tricks on you," the other said, whipping his wand out.

"Or maybe they're hiding," the first said, whipping his wand around. "_Hominem revelio."_

"They're here," the second said.

"Where…?" the first said. He then slashed his wand through the air, and a gust of wind whipped past us. Just as Alastor was revealed, Simon appeared and stunned the Death Eater with the curse. I shot a spell from under the cloak, just my wand out. It hit the second Death Eater square in the chest.

"That was too easy," Alastor said again.

"Not so fast," Dumbledore said. At that moment, he waved his wand just in time for a massive stream of blazing fire to rush into the room. I jumped back, ready to apparate away, but all I felt was the intense heat, a sweat breaking out on my back as the room was engulfed in flames. Bubbles appeared around the five of us, at the fire lapping attempting to break the shell.

Dumbledore walked briskly out of the room, and Alastor and I followed. Standing at the other end of the hallway, masked, was a line of ten Death Eaters, wands out.

"Simon, make quick work of this," Dumbledore beseeched. Simon turned and disappeared.

-CD-

James:

"I wish we could just go on a tropical vacation," Alice said, yawning brightly. Kingsley grinned and Frank laughed.

"I think that sounds good," Remus said, resting his head on his arms. "I'm exhausted."

"I think it sounds wonderful," Marlene said, resting her head on her arms.

A loud crack echoed from outdoors and we all reached for our wands. Simon appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Fancy a trip to the ministry?" he wondered, panting.

I was the first to jump up. "Which corridor?"

He didn't need to speak twice. Heart racing, I turned quickly and landed next to my fiancée in the heart of the Ministry of Magic.

"Are you okay?" I demanded.

"I think Dumbledore might have it under control," she commented as others appeared around us.

"How is there not more protection on this place?" I asked, watching as Dumbledore manipulated a massive wall of water, beyond which Death Eaters shot spells, which couldn't penetrate.

"I couldn't deny the rest of you your fun," Dumbledore said, shrugging as soon as we were all here. "This might be easier than I thought."

"This is not all that much fun," I joked.

"How about now?" Lily asked as Dumbledore let down the wall. He stunned three Death Eaters at once, leaving us to battle it out with the others. The only problem with fighting Death Eaters was their constant need to throw about killing curses. One of them started laughing, rolling on the ground. I looked over at Padfoot, who was smirking. Tickling jinx.

Dumbledore waved his wand through the air, and every mask tore from the face of the Death Eater it covered, revealing their actual visage. He smirked satisfactorily as they all scrambled to find their masks, but not before the hallway was flooded with Ministry night guards.

"Dumbledore!" one of them shouted as the Death Eaters began to disapparate before our eyes, most leaving their masks behind.

"Death Eaters," Dumbledore explained to the guard, crossing his arms.

"And what were you doing here?" the guard demanded.

"Fighting them?" I contributed. Dumbledore gave me a look warning me to be quiet. But he did grin at my response.

"Making sure they don't have it in their power to infiltrate and corrupt the Ministry," Dumbledore explained. "I will be back in the morning to highly recommend the security changes I believe should be put into effect.

"That was nothing," Alastor murmured to me as we walked down the hallway. "They were too afraid with Dumbledore there to really try anything. Or at least anything deadly."

"Back to headquarters," Dumbledore said.

We all turned and appeared outside of Headquarters, filing inside quickly.

"I'm going home," Hestia said. Alice and Frank left too, and Dumbledore disappeared. Alastor headed down the street to where the Tyles family was, being the only member of the Order who knew where it was apart from Dumbledore. Lily, Padfoot and I sat down at the kitchen table with Marlene and Remus, who were holding each other's hands.

"That was interesting," Padfoot said as I put my arms around Lily, pulling her close to me.

"It was only nerve-wracking when Simon showed up here alone," I said. "And asked us to come along to the Ministry."

"Were you worried?" Lily asked me, grinning.

"Of course I was," I said. "I was worried even when Dumbledore assured me that everything would be fine."

She smiled, kissing me gently. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said. "That's why I worry."

She grinned again, wrapping her arms around me.

"Do you want to go back to my house?" I wondered.

"Are your parents home?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "But we can apparate right into my room."

"Poor security," she said.

"You know that the wards only let in five people at this point," I said. "You, Padfoot, my mother, my father, and me. It's better security than what the Ministry has."

"That doesn't seem hard at this point," I said. "All right. Let's go."

"Are you going home Padfoot?" Lily asked Sirius, making faces as she always did when she called him Padfoot, not Sirius.

"Nah," he said. "Moony, Marlene, Alastor and I area all supposed to be here all night."

"All right," Lily said, letting go of my hand to apparate back to my house. I turned too, reappearing in my bedroom. She sighed and collapsed on my bed, and I climbed up next to her, arms around her.

_Next Chapter: "Two words: Bachelor party." _


	38. A Party

**_A/N: I really want to go back to bed... _**

Chapter 38.

Lily:

"Mostly wizards live here," James explained, gesturing around boldly.

"Where did you hear about it?" I wondered.

"Dumbledore grew up here," he said. "It's the birthplace of Godric Gryffindor."

"Really?" I said. "Well that is interesting!"

"Always like a little history," he said, shrugging. "And it just so happens that there's a nice little house for sale here. Next door to Bathilda Bagshot. Author of _A History of Magic _actually."

"Oh my," I said. "That is really neat!"

He grinned. "Come on, let's go take a look, shall we? The realtor said she would meet us there, but I've been given heavy advice by my parents that witch and wizard realtors are more conniving than just about anyone in this world. So we can't let her sell us on anything. As far as we know, this how is crawling with snakes."

"That's such a cheery thought," I said as we walked down the block a ways. He turned down one street and stopped in front of a comfortable—not too large, but definitely not small—house, with a large fenced in garden and a bright face.

"It's cute," I said.

"That was not what I was thinking," he said. "But we can go with that."

I laughed and we started up the walk, to the front door. He pushed it right open, and we were set upon by a pristinely groomed witch in fuchsia robes that clashed horribly with her fake red hair.

"Hello, hello!" she said brightly. "You must be the Potters."

"We _will _be the Potters," James corrected.

"Ah yes," she said, beaming. "I'm Abigail Gatzon. I'll be showing the house. I'm sure you'll like it. There are just the two of you?"

"Yes," Lily said.

"Well there are four bedrooms, so if you're planning for a family…" she said.

"We are," I said, squeezing Lily's hand.

"Oh well then that should be perfect," she said. "Why don't we start with the front room…" she offered, taking us into the house.

-CD-

Lily:

"What do you think?" he asked me. "Now that we're alone." Abigail let us spend a little time "chatting about things" alone in the kitchen. Her overly chipper personality could probably sell shampoo to an unprepared bald man, and without her babbling our ears off, it was easier to just think.

"I really like it," I said. "But I'd like to do a few spell tests. And since she's not here…" I pulled my wand out of my pocket and waved it several times.

"What did they do?" he wondered.

"They look for concealed spells that could be potentially bothersome later on, you know… possessive spells not taken off by the old owners. Then I tested for toxic molds and other enjoyable things such as that, and finally, I'm testing for pest infestations, because I don't like bugs, or snakes, or mice."

"And the results?" he asked as I finished my spells.

"There's absolutely nothing," I said. "It's perfect."

"Do you like the house?" he wondered.

"I think it's wonderful," I said. "There's a big yard, and big bedrooms so we can have kids, and everything's in really nice condition—it wouldn't take a lot of work, that's for sure. It's in a good neighborhood and it's comfortable…"

"You don't have to convince me," he said, shaking his head. "I think it's perfect for us. It has everything we need."

"I agree,' I said. "So do we want it?"

"I think so," he said.

"Is it terribly expensive?" I wondered.

"Don't worry about it," he said.

"James," I said sternly. "This money is yours and mine as soon as we say I do. It may seem infinite to you, but I can assure that it's not.'

"But we probably couldn't spend it in a lifetime," he said, rolling his eyes.

"James," I said, taking his hands.

"Fine," he said. "I'll share with you. I promise. Let's just buy it first!"

"James!" I said.

"What?" he said. "You need to relax Lily. Would I do anything stupid?"

I looked at him speculatively.

"Anything stupid enough to plummet us into perpetual debt so that we would have to forever live in squalor?" He asked.

"No," I admitted.

"Let me buy the house as a wedding present for you," he offered.

"As opposed to the ring that I'm getting you because I'm broke?"

"Lily, Lily," he said, laughing a little. "It's expensive, but it's not that bad in comparison to most in Godric's Hollow. It's not much at all. I promise you."  
>"I don't like being kept in the dark," I complained.<p>

"Because you don't think anyone else can do anything right. SO you have to meddle to make sure it's done right," he said.

"They say, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself," I pointed out.

"I promise you, I'll do it right," he said, grinning at me and bending to kiss me on the cheek. "Are you certain you want to offer for it?"

"I'm certain," I said.

"Then we will offer for it, and I won't screw anything up," he promised me.

-CD-

James:

"Two words," Padfoot said, dropping to the table next to me. "Bachelor. Party."

"Three words," I said, looking up from my _Daily Prophet. _"No, thank you."

"Mate, you have got to be kidding me," Padfoot said. "This is the one thing a best man can do for a bloke. Through him a bachelor party. Give him one last taste of the glorious life of a bachelor, before he goes and gets hitched."

"I'm ready to be married. I don't need a party to cling to the last of my single days. I don't want to be single. In fact, I'm not single. Haven't been for a while now, mate," I said.

He sighed. "Don't you think Lily's going to be having a bachelorette party?"

"Lily?" I said. "Have you met Lily? Once?"

"Yes I have," he said. "Have you met Marlene? I doubt she's going to let Lily say no to a party."

I shrugged. "I'll have one if she's having one."

"All right," he said. "Well for the time being let's just assume she's having one, right? I'm trying to find a dancer."

"An exotic dancer?" I asked, turning back to my newspaper.

"Call it what you will," he said. "I don't see how this is unappealing to you."

"I don't need to have some woman I don't know take her clothes off for me," I said.

"Are you human? Or male?" he wondered.

"Yes," I said. "I just have something better at home."

"I'm going to starting writing down every nauseating thing you ever say about this girl, so that, you know, if she ever doubts how much you love her, I'll have an entire book to prove otherwise," he said.

"You do that,' I said. "You don't even hear the half of it."

"Does she ever start to feel slightly ill when you talk to her? Because I feel slightly ill when you talk _about _her…"

"I've loved her for too long not to say stuff like this," I explained, shrugging again.

"Do you even hear yourself?" he said, just starting to laugh, instead of mock me, really.

"I do," I said.

"And yet you keep going," he said.

"I'm not nauseated yet," I pointed out.

He just laughed, shaking his head. "Have you written your vows yet?"

"I have a month," I said.

"I wouldn't procrastinate," he said. 'I heard that that's the hard part. Though isn't it just a spew of the sappiest stuff you know? So I suppose you could do it pretty easily, seeing as that's all you say nowadays anyway."

"How about we get back to the topic of my bachelor party?" I wondered.

"I thought you didn't want a bachelor party," he accused.

"I'd rather plan a party I don't want to have then talk about this," I said.

"Okay," he said. "So I'll invite Remus and Wormy obviously, Frank, Kingsley, Dedalus… Fabian, Gideon, Simon, I could try Alastor and Elphias… your father, of course…"

"Invite whoever," I said. "But wait until we know we can have the party. Because like I said, I'm not having one unless Lily is having one."

"What am I having?" she asked, walking into my family's kitchen with my mother and Marlene on her heels.

"Padfoot here wants to know if you're having a bachelorette party," I said.

"Sirius!" My mother scolded.

"Of course she's having a bachelorette party!" Marlene said loudly. Lily looked at her quickly.

"I am?" she said.

"Told you," Padfoot contributed.

"Of course you are!" Marlene said to Lily. "I've been planning it only since you set the date of the wedding. Merlin! What kind of maid of honor do you think I am?"

"I don't need a party," Lily said.

"That's stupid," Marlene said. "Everyone needs a party. There will be food and music and drinking and a certain guy I know named Carlos, who's _Spanish."_

"Excuse me?" I said.

"As if Sirius isn't already looking up his friend Vivienne who is French," Marlene contributed.

"Excuse me?" Lily said.

"How do you know about Vivienne?" Sirius demanded.

"This is horribly inappropriate!" My mother exclaimed.

"Remus told me," Marlene declared.

"I don't want a stripper!" Lily said.

"Carlos prefers the term exotic dancer," Marlene said.

I put my face in my hands. "So how about you all go see Carlos, and I'll send my friends to see Vivienne, and Lily and I will go out for a pre-wedding date."

"How about not!" Marlene said. "This is going to happen and there is nothing either of you can say that will change my mind. Or Sirius's mind."

"Exactly," Padfoot seconded.

"Oh lord," Lily said, shaking her head and sitting on my lap.

"I'm leaving this conversation," My mum declared, walking away quickly.

"So this Carlos," I said. "Is he tan?"

"He's Spanish," Marlene said again.

"Well is he attractive?" I wondered.

"He's a male dancer," Marlene said.

"He's not very smart then," I said. "If the only thing he could do with his life is be a male stripper."

"James," Marlene said. "Lily is probably not going to run away with Carlos."

"Probably?" I said. "I love how she says _probably."_

"And Lily, James is not going to run away with Vivienne," Sirius informed Lily.

"I never thought he would," Lily said, putting her arms around my neck. "But I don't know if I want him looking at some skanky French girl."

"James likes French girls," Padfoot pointed out.

I had my wand in my hand, ready to hex him, but Lily beat me to it. She got him with a tickling jinx. I knew hers well. She never used them for fun, mostly because they were pure torture. She was so good and the tickling was the worst form ever. I found myself writhing on the floor, in absolute agony within two minutes. It was just that unceasing. It could push anyone over the edge of sanity, I imagined, within an hour.

"Oh my… Evans, stop it, Evans," Padfoot complained, clutching at his sides and laughing.

"You just don't know when to stop do you?" she demanded, standing over him with her hands on her hips.

"I was just yanking your wand, Lily," he said, writhing chuckling.

"If I'm going to put up with you, because apparently you and James are a package deal, then you need to learn that sometimes, just sometimes, your jokes are just _not _funny," she said.

"I get it, I get it," he said.

"I don't think you do. You're obnoxious sometimes, you know?" she said.

"James, get her to let me up," he said.

"You're on your own mate," I said.

Lily waved her wand, and the tickling let up, but she apparently had him pinned to the ground with some invisible force. He tried to get up, but couldn't.

"You are annoying," she said. "But not that bad of a person, I'll admit. But I'll recommend remembering whose more powerful. You or me. And if you think yourself, then test me, and we'll see."

I just laughed.

"Fine," he grumbled.

She let him up.

"Glad we got that settled before the wedding," she said, stowing her wand.

_Next Chapter: "Who's Carlos?" "He's Spanish." _


	39. Carlos and Vivienne

**_A/N: I am one chapter away from the conclusion of part 2. There are definitely three parts. _**

Chapter 39.

Lily:

"Why isn't Carlos here yet?" Emmeline wondered.

"Who's Carlos?" my mum wondered.

"He's Spanish," I contributed.

"Oh dear…" Mum said. Next to her, Hestia laughed.

"It's been years since I've been to one of these things," she said, crossing her arms. "What do you think Dorcas?"

"I think I like Spanish guys," Dorcas contributed.

Mary, from Hogwarts, traipsed back into the room with a full tray of alcoholic drinks.

"He's going to do a nice little dance for Lily," Marlene explained.

Mum put her head in her hands. I blushed.

"I can't believe I agreed to this," I complained.

"Who doesn't want to see a Spanish guy take it all off?" Marlene demanded.

"Me!" I said, raising my hand. My mum raised hers too.

"Right this instant," Marlene said, sitting down on the low table in front of me, in the club we had a room of in the city. "Right as we sit here, James is watching a French girl take off her clothes for him. How does that make you feel?"

"Coerced," I said. "Because neither of us wanted to see anyone take of clothes. Except for each other."

'Lily!" Mum scolded.

"What?" I said. "Oh yes, Mum, I'm completely innocent. Sorry. I forgot."

Alice laughed next to me, shaking her head.

"Just remember," she said. "Frank is watching this too. And so is Remus. And that bothers Marlene and I."

"It does?" Marlene said.

"Okay, so it bothers me," Alice said.

"Remus can look at whatever he likes," Marlene said. "Because I know what he really likes."

"You are a repulsive and horrible person," Emmeline informed her.

"I'm almost nineteen and I'm living my life!" Marlene said. "You never know in times like these what moment could be your last. So wouldn't you rather watch a Spanish guy take his clothes off than sit at home learning Russian, Em?"

"I'm not saying it isn't," Emmeline said. "But I don't have a guy watching Vivienne the French tart ripping her maid's costume off."

"Because of course you don't mind at all that Sirius is over there," Marlene said.

"Our relationship ended the moment I headed to the Soviet Union," Emmeline said, putting one hand on her hip and grabbing a shot. She knocked it back, just as a crack broke through the room. A very shiny, very tan and muscled Spanish man in a set of regular old robes appeared.

"Buenas noches, senoritas," he purred.

"I need a drink!" I declared, as music randomly appeared out of nowhere. My mum shoved a drink into my hand.

"Which one of you is the lovely Lily?" he wondered.

"Not me, not me," I said as Marlene, Hestia, and Mary all pointed at me excitedly. "Yo no soy, yo no soy!"

"That is all the Spanish she knows, thank Merlin," Marlene said. "It would be a shame to have to silence her on the day before her wedding."

"Just make her drink a little more," Mum said. "She'll loosen up."

"Mum!" I shrieked.

"It's a bachelorette party!" Mum declared, waving her hand carelessly.

And then the shiny Spanish man began to undo the hooks on his robes.

He stood in front of me carefully, dancing in time to his music, on the low table. "In my country a Lily is an Azucena."

"We are not in your country," I snapped.

He reached out and touched my face gently. "No, Azucena. Estamos en Escocia."

"Si," I said, cringing away from his hand. He snapped back upright and slid one equally shiny arm out of his robe. He did not have a shirt on underneath.

"Loosen up," Marlene hissed, shoving a shot into my waiting hand. I knocked it back, then another, and then Carlos had one toned leg out of his robe and apparently no pants either. Carlos began to move his hips provocatively and I reached for more to drink.

"Give her a lap dance," Hestia suggested as Carlos stripped to nothing but very small black underwear.

"Marlene first," I said.

"La novia first," he said. "The bride first."

"But I pass and say maid of honor first," I said. "See, her first. Marlene. I'm too young for this."

"If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to have a lap dance," Marlene said. "Please go right ahead, Carlos. She's just pretending that she hates you."

Carlos smiled wickedly, stepping off the table and moving closer to me.

"I thought only girl strippers gave lap dances!" I complained.

"How would you know?" Marlene said. "Shut up or I'll Silence you."

"Marlene, I hate you so much," I complained, trying to look away.

"Think of it again," Marlene said. "James and Vee-vee-enne!"

"Not making me hate you any less," I said.

She waved her wand in front of me, and suddenly I felt very good. I looked up at Carlos whose pack of toned and beautiful abs were right in front of my face. His hands holding my head gently.

"What am I supposed to do?" I demanded

. "Just sit back and enjoy yourself," Marlene said. "Sit back and enjoy and thank your maid of honor for throwing you such an amazing party."

"What did you do to her?" Mum demanded.

"I sped up the effects of the alcohol," Marlene said, shrugging.

-CD-

James:

"She's best with a pole," Padfoot explained, leaning against the bar table happily.

"I can see that," I said.

"Isn't that at all attractive?" he wondered.

"It's gorgeous," I said. "I prefer red-heads. Dark red heads."

"You prefer Lily," he said, shaking his head. "I can't believe that there is a scantily clad blonde French girl with amazing legs and obscene felxability dancing on a pole for _you _and you are just sitting there watching. Stuff some knuts in her skirt."

"How wrong did that sound to you?" I wondered.

"Not very. I've had a lot to drink," he said. "And you need to have more."

"I think you know when you love a girl when you can have a French stripper in front of you, and all you can think about is that girl," Moony contributed, leaning against the table.

"Do you think about Marlene?" I wondered.

"Marlene? Evans? Come on, mates! There is a very _bendy, _French girl, waiting to do basically anything for you. She will open something with her butt cheeks," he said. "A bottle!"

"Because I would definitely want to drink out of that bottle afterward?" I said, looking over at Moony.

"Vivienne, come here," Padfoot said kindly. She slid away from the pole, leaving drooling Wormtail, Simon, and Kingsley waiting.

"Hey loves," she said, slinking over and sliding her hand up my leg. She had a French accent, but honestly I thought she was better suited for the Amsterdam Red Light District.

"Give him a good time," Padfoot declared.

Vivienne whipped her hair around, and lifted her leg, putting it up and over mine. She hoisted herself up so that she was sitting on my lap.

"You're going to fall over and smack your head," I informed her.

"Oh Merlin!" Padfoot yelled, smacking me. "You need to be a lot more drunk. That woman has ruined you!"

"Love, I know what I'm doing," Vivienne said. "Don't worry."

She swiveled her hips around on me, grabbing hold of the back of my chair and leaning back so that her lower half was nearly pressed against me, and her head was hanging off the arch of her body, pointed straight at the floor. I closed my eyes. _Pretend she's Lily, Pretend she's Lily…_

I imagined Lily doing this, bending back like this and I sighed. I wished it was her, because that would excite me. A long time ago I asked my father how he knew mum was the one he wanted to marry. He said that he knew it was her, because even the most beautiful woman in the world looked ugly in his mind, compared to my mother. I understood what he meant, finally. Actually, I understood it a long time ago. No one ever looked the same way that Lily did. No one was ever beautiful enough to be more beautiful than her. It was impossible, And I knew that now definitely.

"He actually looks like he's enjoying himself," Padfoot said.

"He's got his eyes closed," Moony said.

"So what? That says nothing. And just for that, I'm next," Padfoot declared.

"How is it, James?" Moony wondered.

"It's nice when I pretend it isn't a French stripper," I said.

"You're not even a man!" Padfoot shouted. "I know married men that would kill to be in your position. Married men."

"But some married men aren't lucky enough to be as happy as I am," I said.

"I didn't know it was possible to be so nauseating," Padfoot said. "Let him alone, Vivienne, he's not into it.'

"But he's the groom," she teased, detaching herself gracefully and moving toward Padfoot who had climbed up on the seat next to me. Moony rolled his eyes.

"Take a lesson from the master," Padfoot said as she resettled herself on his lap.

"When have you ever been around strippers before?" I demanded as he tucked a shining galleon into Vivienne's bra.

"There's not much else to do when you don't need a job, you're single, and living alone," he commented.

"You're going to need a job soon enough when you've wasted all of your money on strippers," I pointed out.

"Maybe I'll just marry Vivienne then," he said, grinning wickedly.

Vivienne looked at him. "You're rich right?"

"Mildly," Padfoot said.

"This marriage would be okay with me," she declared.

"What would your mother say?" I asked in mock horror.

"She would say, 'Oh Sirius, Regulus is a much better son than you' like she always did," he said, shrugging as Viv grinned at him.

"kiss me," he said.

"No," she said. "That's extra."

"How much?" he demanded.

"Too much for even a rich man," she said.

"Unless I married you?" he said.

"Yes," she said.

"That really can be arranged," he said.

"Sign a prenup," I recommended, walking back over to the couch, where my father was having a deep conversation with Dedalus Diggle.

"How is your bachelor party coming, James?"he asked me, looking up.

"It's not bad, save for the stripper," I said.

"She is pretty," he said. "Not as pretty as Lily, however."

"That is what I thought," I said.

"I could tell," he said. "You did not look like you were enjoying yourself."

"Not like Sirius there," I said. "We need to watch him. He might end up married before me if we're not careful."

"To whom?" Dedalus asked.

"The stripper," I said, sitting down comfortably in one of the chairs, an empty one. Simon and Kingsley walked over to join us, leaving Wormy and Moony to look out for my best man who was, it would seem, temporarily off the deep end. Long off the deep end.

"Tomorrow you get married," Dad said to me.

"Yep," I said.

"How do you feel?" he wondered. "Cold feet?'

"My feet have never been warmer," I said. "They're quite toasty, I assure you."

"I can tell," he said, grinning. "I could tell from the day you first sent us that letter about her."

"Back when we were still trying to win this little war we had with each other," I said.

-CD-

_Next Chapter: "Can I _please _go get married now?" _


	40. The Wedding

**_A/N: This chapter makes me warm and fuzzy. There are a couple more chapters until the warm and fuzzy stops. I apologize. Enjoy it while it is here. 19 more chapters to part 2! _**

Chapter 40

Lily:

"What did you do to me?" I demanded, shoving my hands into my temples.

"I got you wasted," Marlene replied, standing next to my bed in her nightgown. "But get up. Mrs. Potter's downstairs with breakfast and potions to perk you back up here, all right. You just need to get your feet out of bed and come downstairs. She already gave it to me and I felt a lot better."

"Where are the guys?" I asked.

"Still at Nell's," she said, grinning. "Come on Lily, come on."

She helped me up and led me down the hall in my bare feet. The bridal party and my parents spent the night in the castle, out back of which we were getting married. The weather was supposed to be one of the warmest days in October. It was perfect.

"Come here, dear," Mrs. Potter said, sliding a potion across a counter in the massive kitchen to me. "We need to eat quickly because the caterer will be here soon, but there's definitely time for a good breakfast."

I knocked back the potion, which instantly warmed up my insides and made me feel radiant. It woke me up too, and I hoped got rid of the dark circles under my eyes.

"Better?" Mum asked me from next to Mrs. Potter.

"So much," I said. Mrs. Potter put a plate of waffles topped with strawberries in front of me, and I sighed contently.

"Are you excited?" Alice asked, sitting next to me.

"Yes," I said.

"Good," she said. "You should be. I was over at the house there, because Frank spent the night… James was already up and bouncing off the walls."

"Didn't get drunk then, did he?" I asked.

His mum laughed. "Oh he did, but mostly to avoid the stripper."

"Oh I see," I said, laughing.

"You two apparently had similar nights," she said.

"I like hearing that," I said.

"We're going to have a marvelous day out, according to the meteorologists," Mum commented.

"The whats?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"They predict the weather," Mum explained.

"Oh those muggle idiots who think they're Seers. They're never quite right, are they?" Mrs. Potter said. "However, my nymph bone, which is fairly reliable, agrees with them. It's going to be beautiful."

Mum looked at me, confused, and I just shrugged.

-CD-

Lily:

"You look beautiful," Emmeline said, leaning against the wall after she finished buttoning the dress in the back.

"How do you say that in Russian?" I wondered, laughing.

"You know how bad my Russian is," she said. "I'm working on it."

Marlene reappeared in from the hallway with my mother and Alice right behind her. The girls were dressed in deep red dresses, which matched the cummerbunds of tuxes that the guys were wearing. They weren't doing dress robes because James decided to go a Muggle spin in honor of my family and upbringing. His parents were also wearing muggle attire, his mum in a dress and dad in a tuxedo as well.

"You do look good," Marlene said, appraising me from afar. "People are starting to come in. Just so you know. Are you ready when everything's set?"

"Yes," I said. "I'm ready. I'm very ready."

Mum smiled next to me, her eyes starting to fill with tears.

"Don't cry," I told her. "I've never been so happy. You don't even understand, Mum… This is going to make my life perfect."

She hugged me. "I'm glad he makes you so happy. He is a great man, and you deserve him. I know he loves you very much."

"I love him," I said, shaking my head. "I can't even imagine life without him now."

"And that," Emmeline said. "Is why you're getting married."  
>I nodded, taking a deep breath. "So can we get married now?"<p>

"Patience, patience," Marlene said. "You can't rush the old biddy witches that are coming in. We must give them their chitchat time."

Dad poked his head in. "Everyone decent?"

"Yep," I said.

"Oh god, Lils…" he said, walking into the room. Mum walked over to straighten his bowtie. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," I said, blushing. It was my turn to get all teary. Dad cleared his throat.

"I have something for you," he said, walking over briskly. My friends all giggled and Mum sighed, joining him. He held out a small box for me, long and thin. I opened it carefully, to reveal a necklace with a bunch of rubies hanging off of it.

"Oh, it's so pretty," I said, reaching up to clasp it. It matched the earrings I was wearing, which were the ones James had given me, and were a clear red color today. Just love.

I hugged my Dad quickly. "Thank you so much, Dad."

"You're welcome, honey," he said, laughing a little and kissing me on the cheek.

I sighed. "Can I _please _go get married now?'

'I've never seen anyone so keen to walk down the aisle,' Mum said. "Tell you what, I'll go take a look, and then come back before I sit down. Sound good?"

"All right," I said, sighing.

"He cleans up pretty nicely," Dad said. "And, one more thing."

"What?" I asked.

"Sirius cut his hair," he announced.

Everyone in the room gasped.

"He what?" I said.

"He cut his hair," Dad repeated. "Chopped it all off. Like that."

He ran his hand through the air, miming scissors.

"Oh my…" I said, laughing.

"James must have made him do it," Emmeline commented.

"Or Mrs. Potter," I declared. "I actually can't wait to see this."

"I can't either," Marlene said. "I'm sure it looks stupid."

"Marlene!" Alice said.

"Well, I'm just saying," Marlene said, shrugging.

"So sweet," Dad said, shaking his head and laughing a little.

Mum came back. "We're going to be starting soon. The boys are in the dining room, so you're supposed to come down to the foyer now. Dad will watch to see them go up front."

"All right," I said, taking a deep breath.

We headed down the stairs, careful on my part not to fall all over myself and break something. We headed to the foyer and my dad went to watch the guys walk out front. Hestia was playing the piano, something she was quite talented at. Floating in the trees were dragonflies, which would float above the heads of the audience, through the golden and yellow leaves, which were, as James predicted, taking their bright colors. The fall flowers, both muggle and magical, were in full bloom, accented in the bouquets carried by the bridesmaids.

"All right," Dad said, coming back. "Alice's turn."

Alice started out, with Emmeline following a few paces behind her. Marlene went after her, followed by Dad and me.

We weren't playing the muggle wedding march. Just a lot of peaceful classical music. When I appeared, the crowd stood, but I locked eyes with James. He stood in front of his three best friends, a somber look on his face, until he saw me. He beamed quickly, his face lighting up, eyes glinting behind his glasses. Behind him, Sirius stood with short cropped hair, which showed off his severe jawline in a good way. Peter stood behind them, looking nervous, as if it was his own wedding.

James and I stood less than a foot apart, not holding hands yet. My father kept his arm in mine.

"Dearly beloved," the crazy-haired wizard officiating the service said. "We are gathered here today to join in union James Edward Potter and Lily Elaine Evans. If there is anyone here who believes that these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, please speak now or forever hold your peace." Padfoot cleared his throat loudly. I glared at him.

The minister continued. "Let us proceed. Who gives this woman to this man?"

"I do, along with her mother," Dad said. He took a deep breath, kissed me on the cheek, and put my hand into James's hand. James took it willingly and firmly, drawing me so that I was standing in front of him, less than a foot between us. I smiled up at him.

The service continued with James and I grinning at each other, bright smiles.

When we got to the vows, he got to go first.

"Lily…" he said. "I think we all know at this point how I feel about you. How I've always felt about you. From the very first moment I saw you it was impossible not to love you. You are smart, and beautiful, and talented and wonderful in every way… even when you were yelling at me and calling me all sorts of horrible names… I still loved you. And somehow, some sort of wonderful, amazing miracle occurred this year. You realized that you loved me too. Maybe it was in an attempt to get me to leave you alone, but you still fell in love with me..

"And every day since I ask myself _James, how on earth did you get so lucky? _I don't deserve you. I don't think anyone in this world deserves you. But I will do everything in my power to deserve you. It's impossible, but I like a challenge. Because I can't not have you in my life. So this is it, Lily. This is what I have to say to you: you are everything to me. I am here until you order me away. Whatever you want, I will get it for you, whatever you need me to be, I will be it. I am the luckiest guy in the world—and I know so many others will say that, but they're wrong. Because I've got you, and they haven't. I have the sweet, brilliant, wonderful, funny, Lily Evans. And they don't. And I will wake up every morning until the day I die and keep asking myself how I got so lucky. Because you'll be there next to me, on lazy Sunday mornings, in brilliant white sunlight, arms around me… and I cannot wait for that.

He didn't realize he was making me cry until he was done. He reached out and wiped at my tears, smiling at me.

"I love you," he said.

I smiled, laughing a little. "One second, one second…" I wiped at my eyes, collecting myself.

"Now my makeup's running," I said.

"You look beautiful," he said, shaking his head.

"James," I said, squeezing both of his hands. "I love you. You don't even know. I don't think you can barely begin to know how much. It took me a while. Six years, actually. To get warmed up to you. But when I finally saw that _thing _in you, it was like lights started flashing everywhere, bells ringing, everything. That _thing _is the thing that every girl is looking for, that click that happens that just feels so right… I knew you would say you don't deserve me. You say it all the time. But what did I do to deserve you? What does a girl who is stubborn, and conniving, and a know-it-all, do to deserve a guy who will treat her like she everything? How did _I _get so lucky.

You are perfect James. Or perfectly imperfect, I should say. If that makes any sort of sense… Perfectly imperfect. You are loyal, and honorable, and determined, and brave, and smart, and talented, and sweet… and everything about that is perfect. You are also stubborn, and perhaps too loyal, and a bit foolish in your bravery… and yet… all of that is what makes you so wonderful. That unyielding loyalty to you have to your friends, your devotion to a cause that sometimes I don't understand…

"It's reassuring to see that. Because I know that you don't do things half-way. You're here for me. And I'm here for you. And I know that it's us. You and I. Forever. And I can see how happy I'm going to be. I already know. I've got years of unyielding wonderful, amazing love ahead of me. Forever."

He smiled at me, wiping at my eyes again, then he looked around and leaned in to kiss me.

"I don't think you're supposed to do that part yet…" the preacher commented.

James just kept kissing me.

-CD-

_Next Chapter: "It is our wedding night after all..." _


	41. KidFriendly

**_A/N: I finished part 2 of this! Yay! Chapter 60 starts part 3, which is going to be the shortest part. _**

Chapter 41.

James:

"Presenting to you Mr. and Mrs. James Potter!" My father's voice, amplified by spells, echoed through the ballroom of the castle.

We walked in to a crowd applauding us. After we were pronounced man and wife, we took many pictures and took a walk through the garden alone before heading to the reception.

"Let's dance," I said, taking her out to the middle of the dance floor, which was empty. I took her in my arms.

"Did I mention that you look beautiful, Mrs. Potter?" I asked, taking her gently by the waist.

"Once or twice," she said, blushing as I spun her in a careful circle.

"Good. Because you do," I said. "Mrs. Potter."

"I like the sound of that," she said. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter."

"I like the sound of it too," I said, dipping her back and kissing her. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she said. "I'm so happy."

"Good," I said. "That makes me happy. That's all I could ever need in life. Would be for you to be safe and happy."

"James Potter," she said, looking at me strictly. "You are too good to be true."

I laughed and kissed her nose, twirling her in a circle. "That's only because you bring out the good in me."

"I can't wait for our future," she said. "I can't wait for those millions of lazy weekends and just all of that happiness. This life is going to be perfect. I don't even know what's going to happen, but anything could, and it will be okay, because I'm with you. I want to have kids with you. Lots of them. At least three. Boys and girl, girls and a boy. All girls. All boys. I think that sounds good, don't you?"

"I think it sounds wonderful," I said. "Three kids. Maybe four."

"I like big families," she said, shrugging.

"So do I," I said, wrapping my arms around her more tightly.

"Even though neither of us really had one," she said, laughing a little and burying her nose in my chest.

"Merlin, I love you," I said, picking her up and spinning her in a circle. "You don't even have the faintest idea."

"I think we both keep saying that," she said. "Maybe we should just agree that the other will never know exactly how the other feels."

"That sounds like a good idea,' I said as the first dance ended.

"May I cut in?" Mr. Evans asked, tapping my shoulder.

"Of course," I said, kissing Lily on the cheek and leaving her in the arms of her father. I moved to find my mother, who was waiting patiently.

"Would you like to dance, mum?" I asked.

"Oh yes," she said, laughing a little.

We were silent for a moment, whirling around the dance floor and making Lily jealous, because her father was a horrible dancer, and my mother and I were making them look bad as a pair.

"So you're married," Mum said, smiling brightly.

"Yes I am," I said.

"I can't believe you're so grown up," she said, shaking her head in amazement.

"Time flies," I said.

"You'll be saying that some number of years from now when you dance at your child's wedding," she said.

"I have a feeling I will," I said, laughing and spinning her out under my arm.

"Because it does sort of whip by when you aren't thinking about it," she said. "Before you know it, they're getting their Hogwarts letters, and then taking the OWLs, and NEWTs and getting married."

I grinned. "A lot of people don't get married this young. I was just lucky enough to find Lily."

"Yes," she said. "It would seem you were."

"She's amazing," I said. "I have it made."

"You two are going to be very happy," she said. "I can already see it."

I grinned and looked over at Lily, who was trying to mend her father's atrocious dancing abilities.

My father cut in on Lily's father eventually, and I ended up dancing with Mrs. Evans, who was much better at dancing than her husband.

"Thank you," she said, looking up at me with a smile.

"For what?" I asked.

"Making her so happy," she said simply, shrugging.

"Oh…" I said. "Well, honestly, it was the only thing I could do to be happy. To make her happy makes me happy."

"I thought she was just about going to run down the aisle today," she said. "I'm surprised she wasn't dragging her father down it. I've never seen someone so excited to get married."

"You didn't see me then," I said, chuckling. "Sirius was contemplating sedatives."

She laughed. "How was your bachelor party?"

I laughed then. "I'm sure you heard about it from Alice who was over here this morning. And from your husband. It was… interesting. I had to drink to distract from the actual party."

"That sounds like Lily," she said. "Marlene had to speed up the chemical processes of her body to get her drunk more quickly."

"I'm sure she did,' I said. "Lily's not much of a wild partier.'

"No she's not," she agreed.

-CD-

Lily:

"Hello, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said. Then he laughed. "Excuse me. Let me correct myself. Mrs. Potter."

"Hello, Professor," I said. "You can call me Lily, you know. It's easy."

He chuckled. "Yes. I suppose it is. That was quite a lovely ceremony."

"Thanks," I said. "It was planned quite quickly."

"That was not at all evident," he said, shaking his head. "I would like to congratulate you, of course. You and Mr. Potter are a charming couple. You keep him in his place, which is just the sort of thing James needs."  
>I laughed. "Yes, I suppose it is. I have a question for you."<p>

"Yes?" he said.

"James left you a certain map?" I offered.

"Oh," he said. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I laughed. "Professor."

"I've been sworn to secrecy," he said. "I will deposit it at my jurisdiction into the care of some admirable students and if anyone _ever _asks me, be it even your future children, I will not let anyone know I ever possessed it. It's not fitting for a headmaster to encourage pranking and sneaking out of the castle."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm appalled."

"Sirius, Remus, and Peter don't even know I have it. They believe that James still has it," he said. "But it will be quite convenient for me to have, and well… I'm not going to say no. However, it will just fall out of my mind that I ever had it… when I no longer need it."

I laughed. "All right then professor."

He smiled. "Oh! Treacle tart!"

He whisked away to the desert table, leaving me standing alone for a moment. James was quick to join me, however, putting an arm around my waist.

"What were you and our fearless leader talking about?" he wondered.

"Stuff I'm certain he's already forgotten," I said, smiling gently and turning to lean into him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed me. It was easy to just forget the world around us and wrap each other up and kiss as if we were alone.

"How about we keep this kid-friendly?" Padfoot's voice interrupted. "Save it for the honeymoon."

And my father snapped a muggle still photo of James giving his best man the finger.

-CD-

Lily:

"Ah," I said, collapsing onto my back on the bed. We had the master suite of the castle to ourselves for the evening, and we would be heading to France for a couple of days of honeymoon.

"Ah is right," James said, pulling off his tie and dropping it happily on the floor with his tux jacket. He flopped next to me, still in my dress.

"We're married," I said, turning my head to look at him. He turned his too, grinning.

"I know," he said, kissing my cheek gently.

"It's amazing," I said, reaching out and running my fingers through his hair.

"Lily Potter," he said. "I like that. I really do."

"I like it too," I said, smiling gently. He stretched his fingers out to trace my lips. Then he sighed.

"I love you so much," he said, leaning over to kiss me. He pressed his lips against mine carefully.

"I love you too," I said.

He twirled his fingers into my hair.

"I've said it before, but you don't even comprehend, love," he said, shaking his head.

"I do," I said. "I think the way you love me is similar to the way I love you. It's endless and crazy and it throws you all around, and you can't even look straight you're so crazy mad in love… because I'm crazy mad in love with you, James. You don't know how much, and sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm not even sure." He kissed my forehead, then pulled himself closer to me.

"I love you," he said again, squeezing me close.

I took a deep breath and kissed him, arms wrapped around his neck, for a moment. After a second, I reached down and started to undo the buttons on his shirt.

'Is it less fun," I asked him after a moment, "now that we're not being bad?"

"No," he said. "It could never be less fun. Or amazing. It's you."

He pulled away gently. "I don't want to hurt the dress."

"Well that can be dealt with," I announced, climbing off the bed. "Unbutton it for me."

He obliged quickly, sitting upright and plucking at the buttons and the zipper. He freed me quickly so that I was just in my lacy, silky slip. On the bed, he tossed aside his shirt, remaining in only a white t-shirt and his tux pants. He pushed back the covers on the bed, pulling me closer. He took me in his arms and laid me gently back against the pillows.

His eyes met mine, sincere and careful.

"I love you," he said once more, because we had long since come to the conclusion that we couldn't say it enough.

"I love you too," I said, reaching up to put both of my hands on his face.

He smiled, closing his eyes under my touch. I stretched my neck to kiss his neck, sliding my fingers through his hair. My tongue slid across his skin, over the muscles of his neck. I tugged at his t-shirt carefully. He sat up quickly, straddling me, and ripped the t-shirt over his head. I moaned purely at the sight of him. I couldn't even help myself. He lowered himself again, twisting his fingers into my hair and starting to kiss my collarbone. I squirmed at the feeling of his tongue and teeth on my skin, gripping his hair. He pulled away and looked at me for a moment.

"It is our wedding night after all," he said thoughtfully, sliding his hands down me and pulling the hem of my slip up slowly so that it was over my head.

"Yes it is," I said, kissing his chest as he kissed my neck still, sliding his arms around me to find my bra clasp. It did not take him long to unhook it, even though it was a fancier bra than usual. He kissed down from the indent in my collarbone, down between my breasts, down over my stomach and navel. He slid his hands over my hips. Sitting more upright, he unzipped his tux pants, looking down at me, watching my chest heaving. He slid out of them and leaned over me, pressing his lips to mine.

"Lily," he whispered.

"Yes?" I said.

"I sometimes just have to remind myself that you're there," he said, tracing his finger over my stomach. He sighed and pulled my panties down. I reached up and pulled down his boxers too.

He was silent then, kissing my neck and chest. He didn't even warn me, but pushed his way inside of me, I gasped, biting down on my lip…

"Lily…" he moaned, clutching me to him. He pulled out a ways and then pushed back in, further this time. My hands gripped at his back and shoulders, and then fell momentarily limp and lifeless against his skin. He kept his pace slow at first, with gentle thrusts. I matched his pace with mine, wishing I had a moment of creativity, so that it wasn't the same as always… except the same was just so _good. _And I was so blind and on one track for the moment… there was no room to think about anything. I just needed him.

"James," I whimpered as his pace quickened.

"Lily…" he replied, pushing even further.

"I love you," I moaned, clinging to him again, feeling back in my hands. I thrust my hips upward. He groaned, and kept kissing me. There was nothing but him, and me, floating out there in this world that was only ours. I had him. I got him. With him, everything would be okay, always, no matter what. As long as I had him… He was everything to me. Everything.

I was happy in my world of complete bliss.

I screamed as the orgasm washed over me. I couldn't help myself. James joked that I was a screamer, but it was only because of him. But I couldn't help myself from being so over the top.

He came shortly after, my name on his lips, a look of pure ecstasy on his face. He pulled away and fell on his back, pulling me close to him.

"Oh I love you so much," he told me. "So much, Lily. Beyond any sort of comprehension. For you or me."

"Oh…" I said. "I love you too…" I breathed heavily, kissing his shoulders, which were sweaty, but perfect.

I pressed my face into his shoulder.

"Lily…" he said.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

"What?" I demanded, reaching up to touch my face.

"Why are you crying?" he wondered.

"I hadn't realized I was," I said, more tears spilling out of my face, pouring over my cheeks and across my skin. He brushed them away carefully. "I guess I'm just so happy."

"I'm happy too," he said.

"So happy," I said.

"So happy," he repeated, kissing my forehead.

_Next Chapter: "Now that we're on our honeymoon, how about a rousing game of cards?" _


	42. En France

**_A/N: Originally this was not in the fic. There was no honeymoon chapter. And then I got an annoyed text message from my friend, who reads all of these chapters before I post them. So this is the result. Two smut chapters in a row. If you're annoyed at the smut... well I'll let my friend know. _**

Chapter 42.

James:

"En France," Lily said.

"Je ne parle pas francais," I said.

"I beg to differ," she said. "That was French right there."

"No, that's all I know," I said. "Other than _merci. _Mum drags us to France all the time, and told me to just say that every time someone talked to me, so I didn't make an arse of myself."

"Tu ne parle pas bien, mais tu parle un peu," she said.

"Not even a little," I said.

"Then how did you know what I meant?" she demanded.

"Just because I'm in France doesn't mean I want to speak it!" I said, shaking my head.

"So you do speak French?" she asked.

"Un peu," I replied.

She laughed. "You liar. You speak it very well don't you?"

"I don't see why I should speak it if I know English just fine," I said, crossing my arms.

"Because I find it quite attractive," she replied.

"Oh…" I said.

I pushed open the door to the little cottage we were renting on the coast.

"Thresholds?" she offered.

"But of course," I said, swinging her up into my arms and carrying her over the threshold.

"How anticlimactic," she said, springing to the floor. I waved my wand and the bags floated in after us.

"I love you," I told her, laughing a little as she bounced over to the sofa and kicked off her shoes.

"I love you too," she said. "Now that we're on our honeymoon, how about a rousing game of cards?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"Slapjack," she said. "It's my favorite." I raised my other eyebrow. "Exploding snap then? Fine. We can do that."

"Lily?" I said.

"I really like cards," she said. "And I very rarely get to play them."

I snorted and walked over to her.

"It's our honeymoon," I said.

"We're on vacation. I always play cards on vacation," she said, yawning and stretching her arms above her head. She pulled off her sweater. "It's a lot warmer here"

"Take your shirt off Evans," I told her.

"Aren't we bossy," she said, sighing. "And my name's Potter now, Potter."

I grinned and sat down next to her. "It's our honeymoon."

"Yes," she said, grinning. "And you think I'm serious about the cards."

"I never did," I said, shaking my head.

"Yes you did," she said, pushing me onto my back. "Take your shirt off Potter.'

"You first," I said.

"No sex for you then," she said, leaning away and pulling the channel guide for the television onto her lap. "How about the news?"

"You're such a tease tonight," I informed her.

"That is my job," she said. "I want to make you want me so bad, Potter, you can't even do anything about it. Except give me exactly what I want."

"And what is that?" I asked. 'You don't have to do all this. I'll give you whatever it is."

"You just think you can get out of this easy," she replied.

"I'll speak French if you'd like," I said.

"How about you just fuck me, Potter?" she offered.

"You're bossy," I said.

"You like it," she replied.

"You're being shockingly sexy," I said.

"_That," _she said, shoving me away by the chest. "Was very insulting. Shockingly? As if I'm never sexy."

"No, you're always sexy…" I said. "You're just trying to be now, and it's twice as powerful."

"It's our honeymoon, James," she said. "This is a time for sexy. It's a time for sleeping in bed of rose petals after a good shag, and taking baths together, and not getting out of bed all day because we're too busy shagging each other."

"You're allergic to roses," I said.

She just laughed, grinning at me. "You know what I mean."

"I know what you mean, love," I said, pulling her back down on top of me. She was straddling me then.

'Take your shirt off, Potter," she commanded again.

"Are we gonna shag here, or should we go to the bedroom?" I asked.

She leaned down and kissed me carefully, her lips meeting with mine. She then trailed them and her tongue down my neck, her hand drifting lower down my body. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to flatten her against me, hands on her breasts, lips on her neck.

"Bedroom," she said, pulling away quickly and heading down the hall. I groaned and stood up quickly, following after her.

When I got to the bedroom she was pulling on a skimpy lacey black nightgown, which barely covered her arse.

"Oh damn,' I said. "You win, Evans. Whatever you want. But then again, you already had that."

"I want to forget my name," she informed me. "This is my honeymoon Potter. I only get one. Let's make it memorable."

"I think I can do that," I said, pulling my shirt over my head. "Happy?"

"That's so much better," she said walking over to me and putting her hands against my skin. "You're so good looking. I can't even fathom that this is real."

"it's real," I told her, taking her hand and putting it over my heart. "Feel that? I'm alive. You're alive. We're here. We have each other. You and me, Lily. This moment. Every moment. Until our last."

"Talk about sexy!" she complained. "You're so sweet, and that is _so _attractive…"

I pushed her onto her back on the bed, leaning over the top of her. I kissed her on the neck, behind her ear, which I knew already drove her nuts. She squirmed underneath me.

"Merlin I love you," I said.

-CD-

Lily:

James ran his hands over the silk of the "nightgown" I was wearing. It was really a wedding gift from Marlene, who seemed to think I would enjoy it. Or that James would enjoy it. Either way. I supposed if James would enjoy it, then I would probably reap some benefits as well.

"I like this," he said, his hands working up the hem, closer to my hips. I sucked in my breath as he slid down my body, his lips settling on my thigh as he slid his hands up under the skirt of the little dress and running them across my skin. I shuddered and he slid one hand around, up the inside of my thigh.

"You have perfect legs," he said, kissing the inside of my thigh, close to my knee. His fingers, however, were wandering to the joining of my thighs. I whimpered a little as he pressed his fingers against me.

"I love you," I said.

He continued to work his fingers, pushing one gently inside of me, as he kissed up my thighs.

Suddenly he had his lips on me, down there, and I gasped again, shocked.

"James!" I said reaching to grab his hair.

"Is that okay?" he asked, suddenly his face reappearing.

"Oh god…" I said. "Yes…"

He kissed, tongue and teeth on my clit, as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of me. Eventually his hands vanished, moving to hold me by the hips, keep me still, as he only used his mouth.

"James…" I groaned, my head going dizzy with how good he made me feel. I lost focus for a moment, floating into my own little world of insanity, head fuzzy and thoughts garbled. His name tumbled from my lips, mixed with pleasure and insanity.

Just when I was about to come, he pulled his head away.

"What are you _doing?" _I demanded, suddenly angry.

He shook his head. "Patience, love."

"God James, you already know I'm not patient," I said, sliding my own hand down there.

He reached out to stop me. "Patience, Lily. Wait for me."

I groaned. "but you made me feel _so good."_

As I was protesting, he slid out of his jeans, which, judging by the state of his erection, had certainly been uncomfortable for some time. He pulled his boxers off too. He pushed my legs apart and moved in between them, holding himself up on his elbows.

"Now, James," I begged.

"Hold on," he said, positioning my legs carefully, and looking down at me. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" How much I want you?"

I grabbed his head and pulled him down so that our lips met each other. He bucked his hips to thrust inside of me quickly, and I didn't even have a moment to be surprised I was so content.

-CD-

Lily:

I woke up tangled in sheets, my hair a haystack, and the space next to me in the bed empty.

"James?" I asked.

"Kitchen!" he replied.

"Uh oh… are you cooking?" I wondered, hurrying to get out of bed. I gabbed his shirt, the closest article of clothing, made it a little larger with my wand before pulling it over my head.

"Well I was trying to cook," he said. "it didn't' go well."

"Unsurprising," I said, looking at the burnt waffle in front of him.

"So I stopped," he said. "And you woke up. But there is coffee. I didn't mess that up. And then I called the main house of this string of rental condos, and they're bringing us fresh breakfast."

"Sounds wonderful," I said, wrapping my arms around his middle and pressing my nose into his smooth bare chest.

"It does, doesn't it?" he said. "But I mean… if this had been our breakfast, this one burnt waffle, I'd still be happy."

"there is nothing to make me unhappy," I said. "Not a war, not death, because I have you."

"Exactly," he said, picking me up by my waist and sitting me on the counter. "Lily Potter."

"James Potter," I said, looking at him.

"Lily and James Potter," he said, touching my nose.

"Plus some children," I said. "In the distant future."

"Distant or near?" he asked.

"How about a year, yeah?" I asked. "Let's start trying a year from now."

"I can't wait," he said. "I mean, we're not ready now, but it still makes me excited."

"Me too," I said. "Because we aren't ready… but the idea of your children… our children… it makes me quite happy."

"Me too," he said, pressing his forehead against mine. "We'll have one big happy Potter family."

I grinned, arms around his neck. "I can't believe we're married."

"it's a day I've hoped for, for quite some time," he said. "I knew you'd be mine eventually, Evans, it was unavoidable."

"The name is Potter," I said.

"As much as I like that," he said. "I don't know if I'll ever stop calling you Evans…"

_Next Chapter: "You'll have your chance, believe me. And the first time you do, you'll never want another one." _


	43. Over Ice Cream

_**A/N: **_

Chapter 43

James:

"Look who it is," Padfoot said, standing up quickly from where he was sitting to give me an awkward handshake and brotherly hug.

"Hey," I said, as he hugged Lily too.

"Back from the honeymoon, I see," he said, grinning brightly. Everyone else in the dining room in Astor's house greeted us, but continued with their work.

"Yes we are," I said, laughing a little and taking Lily's hand.

"Did you have a good time?" Alice asked sweetly, shoving a roll of parchment across the table at Alastor.

"It was their honeymoon," Marlene said. "Of course they had a good time. It could've been in a one room house and they still would've had a good time."

The rest of us chuckled at that.

"Well," Moody said. "As we couldn't _reach _you, because you all but dropped off the map… We have some news."

"We fought _him," _Padfoot blurted eagerly.

"No!" I said. "Without us?"

"James!" Lily scolded.

"Lily!" I replied.

"Yes, yes, we're sorry you missed it too," Moody said, shaking his head. "Point is, he found out our numbers quite well, and who exactly is here. Dorcas Meadowes was killed the next day. By the Dark Lord himself. They took her, and started to torture her, but she held her tongue. And then he killed her."

"Oh my…" Lily said, covering her mouth with one hand. "Oh…" I put my arm around her carefully.

"Were you there?" I asked of Wormtail and Moony. Moony shook his head, but Wormtail nodded.

"Is everyone else okay?" Lily asked Alice.

"Yes," Alice replied. "Dumbledore wasn't there, and his best were occupied with Moody and the others, and he had Frank and I in one corner. We're so very lucky we aren't dead… But then Dumbledore showed up, and he was about to finish us off, but Frank and I were able to block his spell together, don't ask how we did it, how we matched up against him…"

"I wish we'd been there," Lily said.

"I'm sure you'll have your chance," Alastor said. "He certainly hasn't backed off. Families are being attacked left and right. He's instilled fear in the entire wizarding world. There are people that are so in fear they won't even say his name."

"We best keep calling him Voldemort," Kingsley said. "That's who he is."

"Exactly," Alastor seconded. "And don't be down Potter. You'll have your chance, believe me. And the first time you do, you'll never want another one."

Lily nodded at me, giving me a pointed look. I figured she didn't care much for the idea of me fighting one on one with Voldemort. Or even one on two.

"You frustrate me sometimes," she announced. Then she turned back to the rest of them. "What are we working on now?"

-CD-

James:

"Well it's ours," I announced, flicking on the light.

She laughed. Our house was crammed full of boxes, and furniture that wasn't in any sort of order.

"It is," she agreed, laughing a little.

"I didn't know we had so much stuff," I commented, waving my wand to blow a path to the stairs.

"Aren't we going to unpack?" she asked.

"How about a nap?" I offered.

She shook her head. "You can nap. This mess is going to bother me."

I sighed. I knew that tone. It was the "_I'll _unpack. _You _can nap. Though you _should _be helping me."

I grinned at her. "Implications in that sentence weren't too heavy, were they Lil?"

She grinned. "Think what you will. Come on, we'll do one room. You pick which room."

"Which has the smallest number of boxes?" I asked.

"None of them," she said. "And just remember the more you do now, the less you have to do later."

"Let's do the bedroom," I said.

"No napping," she ordered, starting up the stairs. Our bedroom was at the far end of the hall, with boxes of her stuff on one side, and my stuff on the other, as well as a bare mattress in the bed that my parents gave us as a wedding present. Our dressers, which we bought, which were against one wall, together. We also had a line of bookshelves.

"There aren't very many boxes here," I said joyfully. "Most importantly, we need sheets and things."

"Always thinking about sleep," she said.

"Sometimes I'm very tired," I said.

She laughed and put her arms around me, shaking her head. "Come on, let's unpack, and then we can go to bed. As far as I'm concerned we're still on our honeymoon."

"I like the sound of that," I said, kissing her neck. She sat down on the mattress and summoned a heavy box toward her, slicing it open with her wand. I followed suit, finding a box of books, which I proceeded to wave up onto the shelf. Lily followed with her eyes.

"Not good enough?" I asked, reading her expression.

"You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you married me, did you?" she asked. "Could you alphabetize them by author?"

I waved my wand again. "Done."

"Where did you learn that one?" she asked.

"Madam Pince," I replied. "I had detention with her once. She hated me… she was just as eager to get me out of there as I was to get out, so she taught me the spell to make my job easier and faster."

"You were horrible," she scolded, shaking her head and leaning over to lean on my shoulder as she waved her wand to make her shoes line up in the closet.

"Yeah I know," I said.

"I don't want to unpack," she complained, putting her arms around me.

I grinned. "I win."

"I said I didn't want to unpack, not that we weren't going to," she informed me. "It will take no time, I promise."

We continued waving our wands until the whole room was unpacked and set up perfectly. The final touch was the bed, which she made with one flick of her wand, before collapsing on it on her back.

"Here we are," she said cheerfully, snuggling close to me.

"Here we are," I agreed, putting my arms around her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, wrapping her arms and legs around me.

-CD-

James:

"Come on," she said, towing me by the hand. "This is where my parents used to always take me when I was little. They have the best ice cream in the world, and really cheap candy, and little muggle gifts and card tricks…"

I laughed, watching the excitement on her face. I held the door open for her, ushering her inside. It was certainly a muggle sweetshop. Perhaps their candy was not as creative, but it was as bountiful, and it definitely looked as good, at least in this shop.

"What do you like?" I asked her.

"Oh…" she said. "it would be so hard for me to choose. You have to give me a little bit. I do want ice cream…"

"But you want candy too," I said, laughing.

"Well… yes," she said, shrugging.

I laughed. "Get what you want love, I'm sure I'll like whatever it is just as well."

"There's nothing in here that I don't like," she said.

I laughed again, just shaking my head at her. "Oh Lily…"

I followed her as she perused the jars and stacked boxes or tubes of candy, face lit up like… well a kid in a candy store.

"I love these," she said, pointing to a jar of sugary lemon drops.

"Get some," I said. "I exchanged a lot of money, so we can get what you want."

"Oh my god," a voice echoed behind me. Lily and I turned. Petunia and Vernon were standing there, both holding ice creams and a paper bag of candy of some sort.

"Hi," Lily said nicely. "Hi Petunia. Vernon."

"Hello," Petunia said stiffly.

I decided to offer my hand to Vernon again. He looked to the side, to see if anyone was watching, and shook it very tentatively, just by the fingers. He seemed to think I would get him dirty.

"Congratulations," Petunia said stiffly. "On your wedding."

"Thank you," I said and Lily nodded.

"Where are you now, then?" Lily asked her sister.

"Privet Drive. Little Whinging. In Surrey," Petunia replied.

"Oh," Lily said. "We're in Godric's Hollow. In the West Country."

"Oh," Petunia said.

The four of us were quiet for a moment.

"Would you like to eat ice cream with us?" Lily asked.

Petunia looked at Vernon, and then looked at me, hesitantly.

Lily was looking at me too. I hadn't even seen Vernon in almost a year, since the first time I met him, and so this meeting was a little strange for me.

"Why not?" Petunia said, shrugging.

"Why not?" I asked. "Let's go order, love."

We left Petunia and Vernon there, and walked to the ice cream counter. I could, however, hear Vernon say, "Petunia, what are we doing?"

"This is going to be very interesting," I said.

"Oh yes it is," Lily agreed, ordering her favorite ice cream. I ordered too and let her pay, fearing I would screw the money up hugely.

Petunia and Vernon were sitting at a table, waiting for us. Petunia was sitting stiffly, and Vernon looked as if he was ready to bolt at a moment's notice.

"So," Lily said when we sat down. "How have you been."

"Fine," Petunia said.

"Good," Lily said.

"And you?" Petunia asked.

"Very well," Lily said.

"Good," Petunia said.

"So…" I said to Vernon, keeping my tone cordial. "What do you do, again?"

"I work at Grunnings," Vernon replied, gruff.

I looked at Lily, wondering if I should know what that is.

"It's a drill company," Lily explained.

"What's a drill?" I asked Vernon, thinking personally that this was a very valid question.

Vernon's mustache puffed out in shock that I was asking him such a question. He spluttered for a moment and then just shook his head, muttering to himself.

"Doesn't know what a drill is…"

"It's a tool," Lily said. "For building."

"Ah," I said. "Sorry, Vernon."

"Yes, well I'm very high up there, you know," he said. "Very good job for someone just out of university."

"That's good," I said.

"And what do you do?" the muggle man asked strictly, and I could tell by his words that he was trying to make this a competition.

"Well," I said. "Neither Lily and I are working right now."

"Unemployed?" Vernon asked, sneering a little.

"By choice," I said. "We're working for a good cause."

Lily nodded. "It was by choice. I almost went on to a training program, but we opted to go this route instead. We're working with a bunch of our friends."

"And probably living in squalor," Vernon contributed.

"Not exactly," I said, shaking my head.

"Lily! James!" a voice squeaked from behind us.

Dedalus Diggle was standing by the lemon drops, fully clothed ostentatiously in his robes and a purple top hat. Vernon paled at the sight of him, before turning a purple color and puce all at the same time. He nearly flung himself in front of Petunia as the little man scurried over.

"Lily, James, we need you! Sirius said you were coming to a shop in London! We need you now, if you can leave," he said. Then he saw Vernon and Petunia. "Hello, I'm Dedalus Diggle!"

Petunia and Vernon said nothing, because Dedalus was beginning to attract attention.

"Freaks," Petunia said.

"Let's go," I said to Lily, standing up. "I hope we can do this again."

"I doubt it," Petunia said and we rushed out of the shop after Dedalus.

_Next Chapter: "Because it's the middle of the night, freezing, and if you don't let me in I will hex your... your _you know what _off Black!" _


	44. In December

**_A/N: One of my reviewers said that this chapter looked like it was going to be funny... I'd recommend taking that back... _**

Chapter 44

Lily:

The early December air whipped through the room. Shivering, I rolled over to pull the covers teasingly away from James, to slide closer to him and suck in some of his body heat. I found nothing but an empty bed.

'James?" I wondered out loud. Sitting up, I looked around the room, and reached for my wand to light up the space. It was empty. Light was, however, coming from the rest of the house, as well as the sound of voices.

I stood carefully, finding my robe and slippers, before heading down the hallway to see what was going on. I started down the stairs and followed the voices into the kitchen.

James and his mother sat at the kitchen table, Mrs. Potter in tears, James with his head in his hands.

"James," I said, causing him to look up. He pulled away from the table and took me in his arms as I walked over.

"What's wrong?" I demanded as his mother dabbed at her eyes.

"My mum showed up. I heard her apparate, and it woke me up. I got up to make sure no one was intruding, I thought I wouldn't wake you…"

"James…" I said. "What's wrong?"

"My father's dead," he said.

"Oh my god," I said, throwing my arms around him. He buried his face in my neck as I held him. I could feel the tears trickling out of his eyes, tears he wouldn't want me to see. I stroked his hair gently, holding him.

"I'm so sorry, James," I said, squeezing him close to me. He pulled back and pulled his glasses off, wiping them on his shirt and clearing his throat.

"What happened?" I wondered, touching his face.

"My mum went to a party with her friends. Dad stayed home. She came back to find him dead. The healers already said it looks like he had a stroke. If someone had been there, it might've been different." He shook his head.

"Oh, James…" I said.

"I should've been there," Calliope said, shaking her head. "I could've helped him…"

"It's not your fault, Mum," James said, shaking his head too.

I got up and walked over to make some tea, tears starting to trickle out of my eyes too.

"Don't cry, Lily," James said, standing up. He put his arms around me as I sniffled.

"The dead never truly leave us," Calliope said. "Death is that… final thing that you must overcome. And then you can truly have your peace."

I shook my head like they had and James hugged me. I hugged him too.

"It will be okay," I told him.

"I know," he said. "It's just… he's my father, Lily… he's the best man I've ever met, him and Dumbledore. And he's the best source of advice I've ever known…."

I hugged him close. "And he was so proud of you, James."

"That is true," his mum seconded. "He was so proud of the man you've become, the wizard, the husband, the fighter… he was so happy to have you as a son. He said he couldn't ask for anything else, anything better."

James sniffed again and I put my arms back around him, allowing him to hide his face again, like I knew he would want to.

"Damn it," he said.

"Damn it is right," I said, twisting my fingers around in his hair.

"I need to tell Sirius," he said, pulling away. "I should go."

"Let me go," I said. "It's okay. Should we wait until morning?"

"he wouldn't want us too," he said. "He's going to want to be here with us. Dad's like his father too."

"I'll go," I said. "Don't worry about it."

"You don't…" he said.

'James, just let me," I said, touching his cheek and wiping away the dampness.

"Just be careful," he said. "He might have his wand on him and think you're a Death Eater."

"Don't worry about me," I said, heading up the stairs to throw on jeans and a sweater. I threw my cloak on too and turned briskly.

I apparated outside the door of Padfoot's house. I knocked several times on the door.

"Who is it?" Padfoot's voice demanded from the other side.

"Lily. Potter. Let me in. I'm freezing," I ordered.

He pulled the door back slightly. "I feel like I should check to make sure it's you."

"It's me," I said.

"It's the middle of the night, why should I believe you?"

"Because it's the middle of the night, freezing, and if you don't let me in I will hex your… _you know what _off, Black."

He pulled the door open the rest of the way. "Must be you."

I walked inside and sighed now that I was warm.

"What are you doing here, Lily?" he said. "Is everything okay? Prongs?"

"James is fine," I said. "Well… I mean… he's not fine, but he's not hurt or anything. His father died, Sirius. And he told me to come and let you know."

He sank onto a chair just inside the door. "Mr. Potter's dead?"

"Yes," I said. "The healers think he had a stroke"

'Oh my…" he said, standing back up. "Let's go, Lily. Hang on, let me get real clothes on and a cloak."

"Don't worry about what you're wearing," I said.

He nodded. "Fine. See you at your house."

We both turned and ended up in the kitchen, where James and his mother were still sitting.

"Mate, I'm so sorry," Padfoot said, dropping into one of the kitchen chairs. "Mrs. Potter…"

I sat down next to James again, putting my cloak on the floor and putting an arm around him.

-CD-

James:

I looked down at Lily, who was dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief, looking very proper. My mum was a wreck next to her, tears running down her cheek. I moved to stand in between them, an arm around both of them. Padfoot stood on my mum's other side, hands in his pockets.

It was only the four of us. It had almost been three. Lily attempted to back out after the brief calling hours, with mutterings about how she wasn't family. I rolled my eyes at her and said my dad would want her there. And so she came.

We were a quartet, shin-deep in ice and snow, bitter water seeping in at the tops of my boots, drenching the hems of my pants. December air permeated my cloak and rose goosebumps on the back of our necks. I could see everyone's breath.

With the grave digger, Padfoot used his wand and helped lower the casket into the frozen ground. I'd never been so thankful for magic, it seemed, and for its ability to cut through solid ice-impacted dirt and to shoot jets of heat into my shirt, and down the back of Lily's, or my mum's.

Waving his wand quickly, the grave digger let the earth settle on top of the casket. I sighed, and Lily put both of her arms around me.

"Good-bye, Dad," I said, which actually caused my mother to cry even harder. I put my arms around her too, and we were in a tight group hug, the four of us.

"Let's go have lunch," Padfoot suggested, clapping his hand on my back.

"Sounds good," Mum said, sighing.

"It's all right, Mum," I told her. "Or it will be."

"I just already miss him," she said, shaking her head as if she thought she was foolish. "It's strange to not have him in my life."

"The dead never truly leave us," Lily said, squeezing my mother's hand.

We walked, the four of us, out of the cemetery, to the main streets of London. Lily selected a quiet muggle restaurant, where we all settled at one table, comfortable, but silent. I put my arm around Lily at the table, and Sirius patted my mother on the back. We all stared at each other, silent.

"We are approaching a new year," she said. "1979. What are we going to do with it?"

"I know what I'm doing," I said.

"And of course, I'm with you," Lily said, squeezing my hand. Padfoot nodded.

"I'm with you as well," Sirius said.

"I'm so proud of all of you," Mum said, smiling at me. "You are such good people…"

"Mum do you want to come live with us for a while?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, no. I won't leave my house. I'll be fine on my own."

-CD-

James:

"Do you want some tea, love?" she asked as I started a fire in the fireplace back home.

I shrugged. "All right. Thanks, Lil."

"Of course," she said, waving her wand so that he cloak floated over to hang itself on a hook. She returned shortly, sitting next to me in front of the fireplace and offering out a cup of tea.

"Thank you, love," I said, taking the tea she offered. She waved her wand, and another came from the kitchen, settling in her hands.

"You're welcome," she said, smiling at me gently. She reached up and touched my cheek, with the back of her hand and fingers.

I leaned on my arm, so that my arm was almost around her, but still resting on the rug in front of the fire. She sat close to me, the smell of her hair, flowery, sweet, perfect, filled my nose, mixing with the smell of the fireplace, the warm English tea. Smells of home.

"Thank you," I said again.

"For what?" she wondered.

"Being everything," I said.

"What else could I be?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"I don't know. But I feel so lucky," I said. "I couldn't be so calm without you."

"Things will be okay," she promised. "Maybe never perfect, but I never asked for perfect. This is my sort of perfect. It's wonderful, because I have it, and it makes me happy."

I smiled too. I couldn't even think of not smiling. She put her arms around me, setting her tea on the slate hearth.

"Just remember, James," she said. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said. "and I couldn't forget."

I put my empty teacup down and put my arm around her completely. "Seventy-nine will bring us good things love. It will bring us a lot, I already know."

"The war isn't going to end," she said. "But somehow that doesn't' seem to matter."

"You never know," I said. "Maybe our side will get lucky and win."

"We won't win until he's dead," she said. "And I don't even know if Dumbledore is capable of that."

"I think sometimes that kind of power is found in the oddest of places," I said, rubbing her back. "I think when that person comes… we all will know it. It won't be a secret."

"When that person comes the world will really have hope," she said.

-CD-

_Next Chapter: "You know, death defying experiences are what I'm all about." _


	45. A Positive Outlook

**_A/N... Okay, I want to say now that there is a lot happening in the next few chapters. Obviously, all of James and Lily's parents need to die in before October 31, 1981. In that sense, I'm sorry if it seems death-packed for a moment... Though no one dies in this chapter, I promise... it's just... I apologize. I'm thinking of writing in another chapter just to space it out more, but sometimes with this fic I feel like I'm writing about every breath they take and every time they get up and walk across the room. And I don't want to do that... haha. We shall see. Stick with me. I just wrote one of the happiest chapters of the fic. _**

Chapter 45.

Lily:

"Over your shoulder Potter!" Alastor called.

Both James and I turned, wands out, shooting a pair of stunners at the chest of the nearest Death Eater.

"I only meant James!" Alastor yelled, huffing as he blasted a wall down in between the Death Eaters and us. Jinxes continued to fly over the rubble, causing Hestia to do a quick prance in order to avoid a killing curse and stamp out a fire that had taken to her robes.

"Out numbered again!" Kingsley growled, shooting a curse over the wall himself. Moody shot down another wall as James and I darted out after Alice and Marlene, slipping into the adjacent corridor.

"Fight or flight?" I asked, panting.

"Fight," Sirius said.

"You want to die, Black?" Moody growled, rounding on him.

"Why not? Good way to bring in the New Year," Sirius teased him, shaking his hair, which was growing long again, out of his eyes.

"I say flight," Fabian offered.

"I agree," Moody said. "Dumbledore said, if we were outnumbered, that we were to leave well enough alone and come back to headquarters."

A roar of flame rounded the corner, flying at us.

"I'm good then," Padfoot said. We all turned and disappeared.

"Whose hair is burning?' Hestia demanded as we started up the walk of Astor's house.

"Looks like Alice," I contributed.

"I'm cutting it!" Alice declared, raising her wand.

"How about you have a mirror, first?" Frank offered, catching her hand so she didn't lop her hair off.

"Last time there were finches trying to nest in it! I'm cutting it!" Alice said. We all started in the door, which Moody locked behind us.

"Thrilling, wasn't it?" James asked me, putting an arm around my waist.

"You know, death defying experiences are what I'm all about," I said, chuckling a little.

Dumbledore was sitting at the kitchen table, pouring over a piece of parchment. He had a bowl of soup in front of him, as well as a glass of some amber liquid. He never stayed for meals, and was usually flitting in and out of headquarters quickly. He looked up at all of us gravely as we entered.

"Hello, sir," James said, moving to the counter to get himself some soup too.

"Hello, all of you," he said. "Nothing too stressful, I hope, Alastor?"

"Mostly just another outnumbering," Alastor replied. 'With the use of some fiendfyre, which I assure you was a bit of a deterrent."

"Obviously," Dumbledore said.

"But what is troubling you, Albus?" Hestia asked.

"Death Eaters," Dumbledore said. "And their leader."

"Voldemort," I scoffed. James was really rubbing off on me.

"They happen to be targeting the families of known Order Members. Wizard members, not muggle members," Dumbledore said. "They're not going after the members themselves for several reasons: It is an attempt to get you to turn to their side. They know you are loyal and protective of your families, and strong fighters they would be lucky to have. And then, secondly, they know that it is very difficult to get Order members in a position where they will have a successful attack. So they're going after their family members who aren't as well protected, and much less likely to be powerful fighters, and more likely to be aging parents. They certainly got more than they expected when they stormed the house of one Augusta Longbottom…"

"Is she all right?" Frank demanded.

"Like I said, much more than they bargained for," Dumbledore said. "She took four of them on at once, and they had to call in their master. By the time Voldemort got there, I was certain he found four quite unconscious Death Eaters and no Augusta. I'm sure they're in sorry shape, from her and him. She, however, is upstairs now, washing up."

Frank turned and headed out of the room, and Alice followed him.

"I recommend keeping your families safe," Dumbledore said, pushing his bowl of soup away and exiting the room.

"My blasted mother won't move in with us," James complained.

"We can't make her move James," I said.

"I know, but she's exactly what Dumbledore said. She's not a strong dueler, and she's aging, so it's getting quite the bit worse," James said, shaking his head.

I looked up at him, at his frowning face. He pulled his glasses off, wiped them on his robes, and then pushed them back on his nose, gripping the counter with white knuckles.

"James…" I said.

"I just worry about her," he said. "After my dad…"

"I know," I said, reaching up to touch his face.

"She's not exactly powerful," he said. "She's no Augusta."

"James, if it would make you feel better, we'll go to her," I said.

"I couldn't ask you to do that," he said. "You love our house."

"I'm not saying sell our house," I said. "I'm saying move in with your mum until it's safe for her to be alone."

"You would do that?" he asked.

"Of course I would do that," I said. "I don't even see why it would be a question. Let's just pack up some stuff and live in your old room…"

'Lily…" he said.

"I'm serious," I said. "Let's do it. I will do it. It's your mother James,

"What about your parents?" he asked. "We can't just abandon them.'

"Dumbledore said wizard members, not muggle members," I said.

"Okay…" he said. "I suppose we ought to go and let her know."

"I suppose so, too," I said. "Come on…"

We apparated off, arriving outside of the Potter's massive house. James waved his wand to unlock the door with the special spell only Potters knew, and we walked inside.

"Mum?" he said.

"I'm in the sitting room," Mrs. Potter's voice replied.

-CD-

James:

"I still think this is foolish," my mum said. "I can take care of myself."

"We don't doubt you, Mum," I replied. "We just think it's safer if we stay with you for a while. Death Eaters are a force to be reckoned with, and I don't want you to be at any sort of risk. And nor does Lily."

"Exactly," Lily said, putting her suitcase on the floor in my bedroom. Mum shook her head.

"I can't believe you are doing this," Mum said. "This is absolutely asinine."

"Trust me, Mum," I said. "I'd much rather be enjoying my married life with my wife, out from under my mother's roof, I promise you."

"Which leads me to this point!" my mother said. "I'd put up some nice silencing charms if you want to _enjoy_ your married life, because I don't want to hear it."

"Mum!" I said as Lily blushed bright red.

"James, who can't possibly think me so foolish," Mum said, appalled. "I know what married people do. Especially married people who haven't been married for six months yet."

"You don't need to bring it up," I grumbled, tossing my pajamas onto the bed.

Mum just laughed. "Fine then. But trust me, all of this will blow over and you'll be able to go back to your house soon enough. Besides, what with you all working, I don't see what difference it all makes. If Death Eaters are going to attack me, they'll probably do it when they know I'm alone."

"Such a positive outlook," I commented. "Isn't she so positive, Lily?"

"Obscenely so," Lily said, laughing a little.

"All right," Mum said. "Well I'm going to bed. So have fun settling in. And don't expect breakfast in the morning on my account."

"Thanks for all the hospitality, Mum," I said.

"You don't have to be hospitable when people force themselves on you!" she replied, walking out the door and closing it behind her. I just laughed.

Lily stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, a smirk on her face.

"What?" I asked.

"This is where we first slept together," she reminded me.

"I know," I said. "I couldn't possibly forget. You were so nervous. Admitting to me that our entire relationship was a plan to get me to stop bothering you."

"And you, admitting that I wasn't the first girl you'd slept with," she said.

"Oh memories," I said, shaking my head.

She laughed.

"If it's any consolation, you were much, much better than she was, and I love you, always have, so what difference does it make?" I asked.

"None," she said, smiling. "You still sound so worried though, James."

"I still worry about it. I wished my first time could've been with you," I said.

"I know you do," she said. "and that's what makes it that much better, that okay."

"I'm glad you think so," I said.

"I do," she said. "Because in the end, you ended up with me, and that's what really matters."

I put my arms around her and pulled up onto the bed to sit there with me.

"I know you're not a fan of this," I said.

"What do you mean?" she wondered.

"Of living with my mother," I furthered.

"No, it's fine!" she insisted.

"You can't lie to me, Lily," I said. "I know you too well. You're doing this for me."

"I'm doing it because I care about your mother," she argued.

"But you would much rather be home," he said.

"Wouldn't you?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "I like being alone with you. I like my life with you. It's quite perfect and quite right for me. It's going to be difficult to be here."

She sighed, looking down at the comforter.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, tilting her chin back up to look at me.

"Nothing's wrong," she said, smiling. I could see through her.

"I know that face, Lily," I said, fixing her with my most penetrating stare.

"What face? This is not a face!" she insisted.

"Oh of course it isn't," I said, rolling my eyes. "Tell the truth, you little liar."

"You realize we could be here until the end of the war, right?' she said.

I nodded, but slowly.

"And that could be years from now," she said.

"Lily…" I said. "It won't be. We'll make her move in with us by that point, I assure you. I just don't think we can make her leave yet, because she's just getting over leaving Dad. We just have to stay for a little while. And then, if it still isn't safe, we'll tell her to come home with us. We can't stay here forever, that's right. You're right."

She nodded. "I just don't want her to get hurt, but I don't want to live here either."

"I know," I said.

"You must think I'm horrible," she said, pressing her face in my chest.

"Why?" I said. "Lily, I could never think you're horrible…'

"No," she said. "You must. Because I offered to move in here! I offered it. And now I'm complaining, now I'm saying I don't want to be here… that's so horrible of me."

"It's not…" I said, hugging her close. "I don't think you're horrible, not at all. I think you're very selfless actually."

"But here I am complaining!" she said.

"Even selfless people are allowed to complain," I said. "You're selfless Lily, because you'll move in here, no matter how much you don't want to. That's selfless. There is no rule that says you can't say anything."

She nodded and hugged me tightly. "Merlin, James. This damn war."

"Damn war is right," I said. "It's making everyone unhappy."'

"And I feel like it's only starting at it," she said.

"We can only sit back and hope not," I said, stroking her hair gently and tightening my arms around her. "thank you, Lily. I don't want to be here either, but we have to. Just for a little while."

"I know," she said. "We'll get through it. If we have to conjure one thousand silencing charms in the process."

"What are you saying there?" I asked.

"You know exactly what I am saying, Potter."

_Next Chapter: "What difference do you think it makes if you kill me now or later?" (Action, saddness, but a good mix of it). _


	46. Once

**_A/N: I'm on a Les Miserables kick. Just thought I'd share. _**

Chapter 46.

Lily:

He groaned next to me, rolling over and grabbing his wand off of the table. He whipped it through the air, drawing the curtains shut so that the room was swathed in mild darkness.

"I'm sleeping in," he announced, pulling the pillow more underneath him.

"It is our day off," I said, sliding closer to him and putting my arms around his middle.

"I miss our house," he said.

"I do too," I said.

"At our house, my mum didn't play classical music quite loudly in the mornings," he said. "I was getting so used to that."

"But you'll get used to this," I assured him. "It's been a month James. How are you not re-used to it by this point?"

"Because it's so bloody annoying," he said.

I waved my wand, thickening the bubble of soundproofing we'd set up around the room, for both those in and outside of it.

He ran his hands down me, down my sides, laughing a little. "Come here."

"That birthday sex was better than last years," I informed him, referencing the night before, which had been my dinner.

"Glad to be of service, love," he said, kissing my forehead.

"Be of service," I scoffed. "You sound like I force you to sleep with me."

"Oh no you definitely didn't have to force me," he said, sliding his arms around me. "In fact, I'll do it any time you want. Whenever, wherever. I'll be your sex slave."

"How tempting," I said, kissing his chest.

"You can't tell me it isn't appealing," he teased.

"Oh it's appealing," I said. "I think you and I should stop getting out of bed in the morning, have breakfast brought to us, and just sleep and have sex all day."

"If only that were possible," he said, groaning.

"Oh it's possible," I said. "We just have morals and obligations that we're not going to back out on."

"Exactly," he said. "Which makes it, in a way, impossible."

"In a way," I said. "But we have a day off today, so would you just like to stay in bed today?"

"It would be my pleasure," he said, rolling over on top of me, balancing himself over me. I grinned and kissed him, feeling like we were on our honeymoon again.

Suddenly there was a loud hammering on our bedroom door.

"I'm hoping you can hear me through the barrier of charms you have put up, but there are people here. Good people, don't worry, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Marlene," Mrs. Potter's voice said.

"Damn it," I said.

"They're not here," James said, bending his head to continue kissing me.

"James, we know it's your day off, but Dumbledore told us to come and get you. He's sorry, he knows you're probably still celebrating Lily's birthday, but…"

I sighed and waved my wand to take down one of the charms.

"We'll be out shortly," I said.

"Ugh," James said. "I hate them so much."

"Put some clothes on," I said, sighing and finding jeans and a sweater to pull on temporarily. Once James had jeans on, I pulled the bedroom door open. They were all standing there, waiting patiently. Sirius and Marlene were both smirking knowingly.

"Good morning," Remus said cheerfully.

"Morning," I said. "Why do you need us?"

"Dumbledore wants everyone at headquarters within the hour," Peter said.

"There's been a bit of a rampage," Marlene said. "Death Eaters on a killing spree. Or at least, that's the impression we've been given. I'm sure he'll let you go right home after he talks to all of us."

"Okay," I said. "We'll see you guys there, but we have to shower and stuff."

"Okay, see you there," Marlene said, taking Remus's hand and heading off in the direction of the stairs. Mrs. Potter and Sirius and Peter followed.

"Death Eaters ruin everything!" James complained.

-CD-

Lily:

We all gathered tightly in Astor's sitting room, crammed together on sofas, or in the last bits of standing room. James was standing right behind me, leaning against a wall in between several pictures. Dumbledore stood in opposite everyone, in front of the fireplace, a grave expression on his face.

"Let us begin," he said.

"Wait," McGonagall said. "We can't. The Prewett boys aren't here."

"Yes, I know, Minerva," Dumbledore said sadly. "Fabian and Gideon were murdered late last night.'

A shock rippled through us, gasps rolling over the crowd.

"Oh no…" Marlene whispered next to me. I shook my head, appalled.

"They were protecting their family," Dumbledore continued. "And the Death Eaters attacked. The rest of the family managed to get out safely, but Fabian and Gideon were tortured and killed."

Several people had tears running down their cheeks, and I pulled out a tissue from one of Astor's boxes. James put his arm around me.

"It's a tragic loss," Dumbledore said. "They shall be missed greatly. But I hope that they did not die in vain. This cause is still worth fighting for. Innocent men, innocent women, are victims of the Death Eaters every day. And I urge you to be wary. We are not invincible. But we cannot stand down. This our future we are fighting for. The future of our children, the lives of the people we love."

I sniffed once and James tightened his arm around me, looking down at me.

"And so we fight," Dumbledore said. "Because as we sit here, Lord Voldemort gains power, his followers gain power. So we must gain power. To lose would be to lose everything, and that is one thing of which I am absolutely certain. Now if you'll excuse me, I am expected at the Weasley's house. The Prewetts are staying with their daughter and son-in-law there. I wish you all the best of days, even in these dark times."

He disapparated and the room was silent, safe for the few people blowing their noses.

James looked down at me. "So much for our day off."

-CD-

James:

"James—" Lily said catching my arm.

"Lily!" I replied, plunging my hand into my robes.

"James, it's the Dark Mark!" she said, grasping my wrist tightly.

"My mother is inside that house, Lily!" I growled.

"James, we shouldn't go inside…" she said.

"She could still be alive," I said.

She was quiet for a moment, locked in a staring contest with me. I could see it in her face. They didn't put the Dark Mark over buildings where people were alive.

"Or she could be dead," I said. "Either way, I'm going to kill the bastards that did this."

I bolted toward the door, with her hot on my heels.

"If I say go, you go, do you hear me?" I demanded, waving my wand. The door swung open.

"Not unless you're coming with me," she snapped, drawing her wand.

The house seemed eerily quiet. No music was playing. It didn't even seem as if the clocks were ticking.

"Mum?" I called, and Lily elbowed me.

A jet of red light shot from up the stairs. Lily whirled, deflecting it. I saw the dark masks and cloaks of the Death Eaters, leaning over the balcony. In synchronization, Lily and I shot our own stunners up at them. They turned to come down the stairs.

This was their goal, I knew. They wanted to get to us. To Lily and me. We were members of the Order. Within the organization, we already had a reputation for being the fighters no one ever wanted mess with. The pair of us, together, were trouble, and I assumed that word of this had made its way back to Voldemort and his many allies.

I wasn't going to run. This was my house. My parents' house. They weren't going to take it, or take their things, or kill my mother. Not without a fight from me.

I started up the steps with Lily right behind me, wishing for the first time in my life that I had some sort of symbol burned into my arms so that I could summon my own allies just by pressing it. But I was afforded no such luxury, and thus was left with just Lily.

Not that having Lily by my side was not good enough support. She was by all means as skilled a duelist as I was, and so at points like this, two was definitely better than one.

"A valiant effort, Potter," one of the Death Eaters sneered. "But I fear your mother is already dead."

"Not exactly the way to get me to back down…" I informed him, slashing my wand through the air and slicing open both his robes an apparently some of his skin, as blood stained my mother's upstairs carpet.

Lily was battling a Death Eater easily, an angry look on her face. One I would never, ever want to be on the receiving end of. I laughed when I realized she'd probably looked at me like that a long time ago, back when she loathed me.

"There is absolutely nothing funny about this, James!" she snapped, rolling her eyes and causing the Death Eater she was battling to fall, petrified on his back on the ground.

There were only three of them, but as I watched one pressed his Dark Mark. I stunned him.

"Do you think the message was sent?" I asked.

"I think that was just far too easy," she replied.

"Mum?" I called, heading down the hall. I pushed open her bedroom door and froze. Falling out of her bed, my mother's body was frozen, eyes open in shock, fear. It didn't look as if she even had a moment to reach for her wand.

"James!' Lily yelled. I turned slowly, my head whirling.

"James!" she said, screaming now. "James it's him!"

"You think you can face me, you little girl?" a high, cold voice asked, laughing, from the hallway. I spun around, and ran into the hall.

He shot the first spell at me, and I deflected it. I could feel the weight of it on my shield charm, the amount it pressed against my body, knocking out my breath.

"Very good, Mr. Potter," he awarded, smiling very gently. I held my gaze. "Very good indeed. Now, I did not come here with the intention of killing you. Or your _charming _wife."

Lily scowled at him. I had the feeling she would have just as soon spit on his feet if she didn't think he would murder her then and there.

"If you didn't come to kill us, what are you here for?" she demanded, raising her wand.

"I'd put your wand down, you foolish girl," he said, raising his own. "I promise you it won't end well for you."

"What difference do you think it makes if you kill me now or later?" she hissed.

I stared at her, frozen for a moment. I was hit full force with the thought that this could be the end. The end of her. I didn't so much care about me as I cared about her. Horrible images flashed through my mind, of her, broken on the ground next to me, life cut short… I nearly died just thinking about it.

"Lily…" I said.

"As I said," Voldemort continued coolly, cutting across me. "I am not here to kill you, Mrs. Potter."

"But there are strings attached," she said, crossing her arms, wand pointed at the ground for now.

"You will find in time, that there are _always _strings attached," he said. "Join me. Join my side. I assure you, we are in great need of witches and wizards like yourself and your husband. Join me, and I can promise you greatness, power, riches, whatever you could ask for. Lord Voldemort most graciously rewards those who serve him."

"We will _never _join you!" she spat, looking at me.

I nodded my head fiercely in agreement. "We'd rather die a thousand times then join you."

"Would you rather watch her die?" he demanded, waving his wand. Lily suddenly was hanging in the air, appalled. She started screeching at him, calling him every word she knew, of course. She was shooting spells at her feet, trying to get herself down.

"What say you, James Potter?" Voldemort said, laughing a little as she struggled. "Join me or watch her die. I can assure you it will be slow."

I stared at him for a moment then I took several strides across the room.

"If you want to kill her, you'll have to kill me first," I informed him, standing my ground. I raised my wand, leveling with him. Her jerked his wand and Lily fell into a heap on the ground, screaming. I watched in helpless agony as he tortured her in front of me, as she screamed my name, begging me to help her.

I watched for a moment, knowing if I moved he would kill her.

"Are you certain about your answer?" Voldemort asked. Lily rose slowly, gaining speed as she gained height.

"Are you all right?" I asked her in a hush.

"I'm fine," she whispered back, reaching for my hand.

"I am certain," I said. "We're certain. You can kill us. You can kill my mother. But I will never join you."

"But what about that love that dear old Dumbledore is always preaching about?" he asked, waving his wand. A heart appeared in the air. Another whip of his wand, and the Dark Mark appeared, cutting through the heart. "You would rather see your family members die, you would be willing to sacrifice them?"

"It's not a bad sacrifice. Not if it's for something that is right," I snapped.

"Then your choice is made," he said. "I see no further business can be done here. Let's see, which one first? The loving husband, the loyal wife? Or perhaps as a pair…?" He contemplated for a moment. I grabbed Lily's hand, trying to communicate my plan.

"Oh and I thought you should know…" Voldemort said. "After a few quick spells, it is impossible to apparate out of this house… Potter or not…"

I flicked my wand, and just as Voldemort raised his, a cloud of solid black filled the hallway, hiding Lily and I from view. A jet of green light shot through it, narrowly missing her shoulder as I pulled her to the ground.

"Run!" I yelled, pushing her in the direction of my mother's bedroom. We darted down the hall, with him cursing behind us. I blasted open the window, running past my mother's body, grabbed Lily's hand and jumped. As we plummeted through midair, I twisted us, pulling us away, safe.

_Next Chapter: "I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just thinking things through." _


	47. What is it For?

Chapter 47.

Lily.

We landed, panting in the middle of the walk, outside headquarters.

"What sort of spell was that?" I demanded as James wrapped me up in his arms.

"That would be a spell I learned in order to make trouble. You thought it blacked out the hallway for us looking at him… well, he could've kept walking toward us and the barrier would've stayed constantly between us. It's damn hard to get down too, though it wears off after an hour… But enough about that!" he said. "Are you all right? Damn it Lily, I thought he was going to kill you… Are you okay? How badly did he hurt you?"

"It doesn't matter," I said. 'James… James, I'm sorry, your mum."

"Come on, let's get inside," he said, shaking his head.

He pushed the door open and we headed right into the kitchen. Padfoot, Astor, and Alastor were all sitting at the kitchen table, sharing a drink.

"Oh my!" Astor said. "You two look like you've seen ghosts."

"We just fought him," I puffed, dropping into a chair.

"You _what?" _Sirius demanded.

"I second that!" Alastor said, pointing at Sirius.

"Voldemort," James explained. "At my parents' house. Death Eaters killed my mum… and we fought them, and then he showed up… he used the Cruciatus curse on Lily… we just barely got out on the skin of our teeth."

"Oh my word…" Astor said. "You poor dears… oh my goodness."

"Your mum's dead?" Sirius asked slowly.

James nodded, putting his head in his hands. I put my arms around him, but he got up and walked away. I sighed, standing too.

"I'll be right back," I said.

James only relocated to the sitting room, but I knew why instantly, of course. Silent tears were starting to come out of his eyes, and he was wiping at them furiously. But I knew he didn't want Alastor or Sirius to see them.

"James…" I said.

He pulled me to him quickly. "I'm so glad you're safe, Lily. So glad… I thought he was going to kill you…"

I put my arms around him too, pulling his head down close to me, holding him.

"He was going to kill us both," I said.

"I know," he said. "Lily, I don't think we can go home. Not to my house, not to Godric's Hollow. We can go back to get some things, but we're going to need to keep away from Godric's Hollow for a bit, just to be safe."

I nodded, sighing. "But we'll be okay."

"James… your mum…" I said. "Her things?"

"There's nothing of that much value in the house," he assured me. "Not that they can take without being a Potter—by blood or by marriage."

"I don't mean the money, or anything of the sort," I said. "I mean… her body, James…"

He shook his head, pressing his nose into my neck. "It won't be there when we go back."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"They're Death Eaters," he said. "I'm sure they've done something horrible to it."

I tightened my arms around him. "James…"

He squeezed me close. "Do you think Astor will let us stay here tonight?"

"I'm sure she will," I said, touching his hair. "Do you want me to go ask?"

"No," he said. "I don't want you to move. I came so close to losing you tonight, and I don't want you to move now."

I nodded, wrapping my arms around him again, holding him close to me.

"I love you," I told him.

"I love you too," he said, holding me so close.

-CD-

Lily:

"James," I said, leaning over and touching his shoulder.

He rolled onto his back to look at me, fumbling for his glasses.

"Oh damn," he said. "We're still here."  
>"Yes," I said, rubbing his shoulder gently. "Come on, get up. We've got stuff to do today."<p>

"I'd much rather not," he said, rolling onto his stomach.

"But we have to talk Dumbledore, and the man in charge of your mother's estate…" she said.

He closed his eyes and puffed a sigh.

"What are you doing?" I wondered.

"Sleeping," he said.

"James…" I scolded.

"What?" he asked. "What does it even matter?"

"We're going out there to save lives," I informed him. "In case you've forgotten."

"I haven't forgotten. But what sort of use am I if I can't even save my own mother?" he demanded, his voice rising.

I stared at him for a moment. "Wonderful."

"What?" he snapped.

"Is it your time of the month?" I asked him.

He snorted. "Charming. No my mother just died and I'm questioning things."

I snorted too. "Right. Okay. James Potter, you don't question things. You're a leap before you look kind of guy, especially when it's for something you care about. You would do anything for this cause, for your mother, for your friends, or for me. So why are you lying in bed, feeling sorry for yourself?"

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself," he said, sitting up. "I'm just trying to think things through!"

"What is there to think about?' I demanded.

"A lot!"

"James, this is everything to you. Don't try to pretend it's not, or convince yourself that it's not, because it is. And I know that. And you know that. So get your damn arse out of bed and fight for it, okay? Fight for your mother, and fight for your friends. Fight for me if you want to, but I'm not so conceited. I'm talking about your friends and family here, the people you would do anything for. And if you're going to let yourself mope here in bed-"

"Both of my parents are dead, Lily!" he said.

"And they would be damn disappointed in you if they saw you sitting around in bed, contemplating whether or not you should keep up with the one thing they know you're passionate about. James, this is everything to you, and I get that it's hard to remember that sometimes, especially right now, but you can't give up. They wouldn't want you to, I don't want you to, and I know you don't want to. So what are you doing, thinking things through, questioning things? The war is still going on, whether you stay in bed or not, and it needs you. We need you."

He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and I continued to stare him down.

"Lily, he could've killed you," he said, taking my hand.

"James…" I said.

"He could've killed you right there in front of me," he said. "And when he was using that curse on you… I felt like he was using it on me too… and I stood there, helpless… And I can't imagine how anything that can put you in so much pain, that can hurt you so much, potentially kill you… is right…"

'it's not right," I said gently. "And that's what we're fighting for. To stop it."

"But if fighting it means putting you in the line of fire…" he said. "It kills me… it almost killed me, Lily…"

"James…" I said. "That is a risk. There is that risk. You and I knew that risk when we signed up for this. We knew that people around us could die, that we could die… and what did we do?"

"We signed up anyway," he said, shaking his head.

"And why did we do that?' I asked, squeezing his hand.

"Because I can't stand by when other people are getting hurt, when people I love could get hurt…" he said. "This is the only think I could ever think of doing…"

"I know," I said. "That's why I'm being obnoxious.'

"You're not being obnoxious," he said. "You're the voice of reason."

"Ah, now you get it," I said.

He put his arms around my middle, pulling me down so that I was sitting on his lap. I kissed him happily for a moment.

"Alastor told me that we could take everyone when there's a lull today and go back to the house and try to get some of our things," I said. "He said Dumbledore might even come, because Voldemort was there… and well, he could help bring down any of Voldemort's charms…"

"All right, sounds… all right," he said. "I was going to say good, but I don't really think that."

"I don't either," I said. "Why don't we get showered, yeah?"

"You first or me first?" he asked.

"Well if we go quickly, no one would notice if we went together," I told him.

"You know how to cheer me up," he said, laughing a little and grabbing my hand.

-CD-

Lily:

We entered Astor's kitchen to find a crowd of people bustling in and out, as was usual with breakfast for the Order.

"Morning, mate!" Padfoot said cheerfully from the table, which he was occupying half of, just for his meal alone.

"Saving some for the rest of us, I see," I said, taking James by the hand toward the array of food lined up by Astor.

"As always," Sirius replied, grinning.

"I heard we're going back to your place," Remus said, making one of his rare appearances. Dumbledore had him on all sorts of missions that weren't all that enjoyable, but which he was willing to do. It seemed as if Marlene was the only one who ever saw him anymore.

"We have to," James said, shrugging. "And we're temporarily leaving Godric's Hollow so as to not lead any Death Eaters there."

"Well this should be a fun couple of months then, shouldn't it?" Remus asked.

"You guys can live at my place for a while," Padfoot contributed.

"I would offer the same," Remus said. "but I fear that living with me would probably lead more Death Eaters to you than away from you. Or at least Death Eater supporters, seeing as werewolves aren't usually granted the top honor of being branded." He rolled his eyes. "A dramatic lot, I tell you."

I laughed a little, shaking my head. "How're you holding up, Remus?"

"It's not bad," he said. "I mean, they're uncivilized savage beasts not very trusting of one of their kind, whom they refer to as Dumbledore's 'lapdog' but I'm making progress. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Marlene."

"What about me?" Marlene asked happily, appearing from nowhere and bouncing over to put an arm around Remus.

"About how annoying you are," Padfoot contributed.

"About how much I love you," Remus said.

"Oh gag me," Marlene said, laughing and hugging him close. She kissed him. "I love you too."

I smiled gently, sighing a little too.

James put his arms around me.

"I heard Dumbledore wants to talk to you," Padfoot said, dumping his plates in the sink and waving his wand at them.

"Oh?" I said, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah," Padfoot said. "He's not here though. He said he'll be back at lunch. And then we're setting off for your parents' place, James."

"All right," James said, putting an arm around me. "Merlin I need a drink. Or something."

"James…" I said, putting my arms around him too.

"I promise I'm not going to be dramatic anymore," he assured me.

"Always good to hear," I said.

"But I can be a bit down, right?" he said.

"Of course," I said. "Your mum…"

"Exactly," he said, sighing. He pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. He wrapped me up tightly and I closed my eyes, nestling against his chest.

"Everything will be okay," I promised, squeezing him tightly.

"I know," he said. "I know it will be. You know why?"

"Why?" I asked, breathing against his cotton shirt. I felt so comfortable there, safe, warmed internally and externally by his arms, and the clean smell… So comforting. This was James. He was everything.

"Because I have you," he said.

"You are absolutely the most disgustingly romantic couple I have ever seen and ever met," Padfoot said. "'Why will I be okay? Oh because I have _you _Lily' _kiss!"_

"We had a rough evening," I replied. "Cut us some slack."

"You were like this when life was a field of daisies that you were frolicking through. Hand in hand."

"But it's more important now," James said, shrugging.

_Next Chapter: "They're trying to guilt trip us. And they've never actually been very good at guilt tripping." _


	48. Bunnies

**_A/N: Curse my brain and summer weather. My fanfic brain is dying. Good thing I have a bunch of chapters written already. _**

Chapter 48.

James:

Lily looked down at me, her hair spilling over her shoulders, red, silky, beautiful. Her green eyes dug into me; half of her mouth was upturned. I couldn't tell if she was smiling or contemplating. I reached up, removing one hand from behind my head, stretching it up to stroke her lips gently with my forefinger.

"What's on your mind?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure," she said. "A lot of things, I suppose."

I twisted a strand of dark red hair around on my fingers. "I know what you mean."

"It's weird…" she said.

"What? Living with Padfoot?" I said. "It's just the first night. I'm sure we'll get used to it."

"No…" she said. "Not that… just… how normal it all feels. How peaceful and calm I am, despite all of it."

"You're not afraid?" I wondered.

"Not as much as I should be," she said. She smiled then, a real smile. "And I feel like the world is crumbling around me… with your parents, and moving out of our house and their house, if only temporarily… but in the end, I'm okay."

"We're both okay," I said.

She smiled even bigger then, but it snapped into a frown before it lasted a single second.

"What?"

"I feel horrible," she said.

"Why?"

"Because I shouldn't be smiling!" she said. "Horrible things are happening, and I'm _smiling."  
><em>I propped myself up on my elbow, looking at her carefully. "You shouldn't feel horrible."

"But I do," she said, shaking her head.

I pulled her downward, so that she was lying in front of me, and we were face to face.

"I love you," I said. "Merlin I say that a lot, don't I?"

"Only because I say it a lot too," she said, grinning a little. She shook her head. "What a weird pair we are."

"I think weird only begins to cover it," I said, shaking my head.

"I suppose so," she said, reaching out and putting her hand on the side of my face.

"I need a shave," I commented as she ran her hands across the scruff.

"Not too badly," she said, laughing a little and leaning in to kiss me.

I pulled her closer and kissed her carefully, gently, just one hand on her cheek, the other on the small of her back.

"Are you sleeping?" Padfoot's voice called through the door. "You're being eerily quiet, and I'm scared about what that means. Do I need to plug my ears?"

"Go right ahead," Lily replied loudly.

"Oh goody," Padfoot said, and I heard his footsteps go back down the hall.

"Ignore him," I said, laughing.

"Okay," she said, kissing me again. She chuckled a little as she kissed me.

-CD-

James:

"You two are like bunnies," Padfoot commented as Lily and appeared in his kitchen in the morning.

"We didn't do anything last night," I said truthfully, laughing a little as we sat down at the kitchen table. "Lily just did that to bother you."

"You didn't do anything?" Padfoot said. "You two are the most sexually active people I know. Tell me that again with a straight face."

"He's not lying," Lily said. "We honestly just needed a night of calming down, relaxing, just comforting each other."

Padfoot scowled at us.

"And besides," she continued. 'What does it matter? We _are _married."

He snorted. "Yeah, all right. Make that your excuse."

"it's my excuse for everything," Lily assured him, patting him on the head as she went to get herself and me some coffee.

"I need to get myself hitched then," Padfoot determined. "Because apparently it comes with built-in excuses."

"Of course," Lily said.

"Lily's my excuse for everything," I said.

"Even if he's presenting his excuse to me," she said, laughing a little and putting a cup of coffee in front of me. "'Why did you leave your shoes in the middle of the floor, James?' 'I don't know, you told me not to put them on top of your shoes in the closet.'" She laughed, shaking her head.

"Do you two _ever _fight?" Padfoot demanded. "Or is it always peaceful resolution after peaceful resolution?"

"Never," I said. "We have the perfect relationship." I rolled my eyes.

"See, I actually think that's true," Lily said, waving her wand to stir the sugar into her coffee. "Our relationship would be imperfect if there was no bickering. Or I suppose, not so much imperfect as slightly creepy."

She smiled at me. I grinned back.

"You guys are psycho. I don't care what anyone else says," Padfoot said. "This is a deranged relationship. I don't know what life would be like without both of you, but all the same. It's a bit disconcerting. I feel sorry for your future children."

"I feel sorry of them too," Lily said. "They'll have you and Remus and Peter for godfathers. Starting with you, for the first one, of course."

Sirius laughed. "You'd trust me with that? I'll corrupt them, you know…"

"That's exactly why we choose you, more than a year before there will be any children on the scene," Lily said. "Because corruption is actually perfect."

"I mean, what would we do if the kid ended up a goody-two-shoes?" I asked, teasing her.

"They'd turn out just fine" she snapped, still laughing.

"Evans," I said. "Even you aren't a good two shoes."

"Because James corrupted you," Sirius contributed.

-CD-

Lily:

_Dear Lily and James_

_We haven't seen you around here in a while. You're starting to worry us, you know. You can't keep away forever. Petunia and Vernon are around here every day. Maybe that's a good thing. The more exposed we are to him, perhaps the more likely it is that we'll start to actually enjoy his company._

_I'm certain that you and James are very busy—judging by your letters, it would seem so. But I would like to remind the both of you that it doesn't take much for you magic folk to come and visit us. We would come see you, but our ability to find your Godric's Hollow, and really, get there in a way that is monetarily feasible… well, it would be easier if you could come to us. And please do! We miss you both! _

_We were very sorry to hear about the passing of James's parents. His poor father, and his mother… Judging by your letter, it was quite hard for you to disclose to us how Calliope died, and well, you seemed to want to break it as gently as possible. We understand that you are at great risk, and we're hoping that this doesn't keep you from visiting us._

_How are all of your friends? Marlene, Remus, Sirius, Emmeline, Alice? Is everyone well? Please update us—preferably face to face! _

_Be careful. Your jobs seem quite risky at this point, and so obviously we worry. But be careful. That is all we can ask. _

_Love,_

_Mum and Dad_

"They're trying to guilt trip us," I said. "And they've never actually been good at guilt tripping, especially guilt tripping me."

"It could be risky going to visit them…" James said, shaking his head and folding the parchment back up. "But the chances of Death Eaters tracking us there… it seems slim. I'm sure if they're going to target them, they already know where they are—I know, I know! That's a horrible thing to say, but it's the truth Lily."

"I know," I said, shaking my head. "I suppose we should go see them…"

"We have the evening," he said.

"Okay," I said. "Let's go then."

We grabbed his invisibility cloak, which we had taken to carrying with us practically everywhere, at this point. We turned quickly on the spot, and apparated directly outside my parents house. We went to the door quickly, and I knocked before pushing it open.

"Hello?" I called.

"In here!" Mum replied. She met us in the hallway before we could even walk closer.

"Hi Mum!" I said.

"Took you quite some time, didn't it?" she asked, pursing her lips.

"Sorry…" I said, giving her a hug. She hugged James too.

"I'm sorry, James," she said, squeezing him extra hard. He got a better hug from my mother than I did.

"Thank you," James said, shaking his head.

. "I wish we could've come to the funerals," Mum said.

"My father's was a quiet ceremony, and we didn't have one for my mum," James explained.

When we went back to the Potters house, it was simply to take everything and run. His mother's body wasn't there. But it was easier not to tell my parents that. They were already startled by the close-to-home factor involved with the murder of his mother.

Mum nodded, and we headed into the sitting room to talk with her and Dad.

"Hello!" Dad said, springing up to give me a hug and to shake James's hand. He too offered his condolences to James.

"We were sad we didn't get to see you for Christmas," Mum said.

"We decided to spend it with James's mother," I explained.

"That makes sense," she said.

"We had a question for you, Lily," Dad said.

"Yes?" I said, leaning back on the sofa.

"Do you think your mother and I are in any sort of danger?" he asked. "From these Death Eaters? That is how Mrs. Potter died…"

"It's harder to connect us because I'm not connected to you two magically," I explained. "We either send you letters by post, or we have a centralized location for sending owls. One Order Member can be seen every other day, with a whole mess of owls, going into the middle of nowhere to release them. That's why I don't put my name or James's name on the outside, or your address. It makes it harder to connect to you. It's why we don't visit very much. The less of a magical connection we can have with you, the easier it is…

"How did you get here then?" Mum asked. "Was that not magical?"

"We're not being watched by Death Eaters," James explained. "We're at a safe location, a secure location, with one of our Order friends. We're not in Godric's Hollow right now. And I have a cloak that will make us invisible, so that we can apparate without being seen… But it's difficult. They probably know your names by now, they know everything about Lily and me… We've been face to face with the man behind this, not a week ago…"

"I thought you said he was a power man, let his Death Eaters do his dirty work," Dad said.

"He is," I said. "But he has a special interest in some of us. Those he wants on his side, those he's not sure are, in his opinion, lost to the Order of the Phoenix. He would never try to get our friend, Moody, on his side, but he's still uncertain about us, or about our friends or Alice and Frank… we're talented, and he wouldn't mind having us work for him. We would never, of course, but he doesn't know that. Though I think we might have shown him that the other night."

"How risky is this for you?" Mum demanded.

"It's risky," I said. "No doubt about that. We could've died."

"Don't say things like that," Dad said.

"Well it's true," I said simply. "I'm sorry, but it is. We were lucky to get out with our lives. And it's not going to change my mind. We've committed ourselves to this fight. And if we ever think you could be at risk, we will make sure you're kept safe. I promise. But at the moment, you're not at risk."

Mu m sighed and looked at Dad.

"Don't think we don't support you, or that we're not proud of you, Lily," Mum said. "We are. And we are glad you are doing us. But we're your parents. We're going to be worried about you. And about James. We're not worried about ourselves. More about you."

"Don't worry about us," James said. "I promise I'll take care of her."

I rolled my eyes. "I can take care of myself too…"

_Next Chapter: "I want to have kids, James." _


	49. The Middle of the Night

**_A/N; I'm doing every other day right now, I hope that's okay... I don't want to use up all the chapters I have and I am a little preoccupied of late. _**

Chapter 49.

James:

"I'm bored," she complained, resting her head on my shoulder. "This whole 'living in Sirius's house' thing starts to wear."

"I agree," I said. I knew Lily well enough to know that she was never bored—unless she was horny. "We can't have half as much fun with him around. It's sort of awkward to screw around in your best mate's guestroom, don't you think?"

"Exactly," she said. "I'm just waiting for that moment when he _isn't _here, and it always seems like he's here when it's the perfect moment."

Three months. And counting. Of having our alone time constantly interrupted, of drinking his bad coffee and fleeing to Astor's for lunch. We were stealing quiet moments alone, just the two of us, if we could find them.

I leaned over to kiss her, pressing my lips against hers, then moving them down her neck, across her skin and shoulders. She was wearing a small tank top, even though it wasn't quite warm yet. I liked it because it gave me better access to her shoulders, which, like the rest of her, were perfect.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding me close to her as I brushed my lips over her neck and shoulders still.

"I love you,' I said.

"I love you too…" she said. "Come on… let's go to the shower. He can never tell when it's us in the shower." It was the truth. Which meant that we'd been showering together a lot lately. We'd been married for seven months. It was hard not to want to do it all the time. To act like bunnies, as Padfoot would say.

"Okay," I said, laughing and standing up. We went right through the door to the attached guest bath.

"This is good," she said. "I need to wash my hair. So that it smells like you like."

"It smells perfect," I said, shaking my head.

She bent down to turn on the shower and straightened back up again as the water rushed out. She sighed, smiling brightly, but looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said. "You're just nice to look at."

I laughed a little.

"No, I'm serious," she said, stepping across the tiles so that she was standing in front of me. She put her hands carefully on my chest. "You make me feel all good inside. Warm. Comfortable. Safe. Not to mention you are quite attractive." She reached up and mussed my hair. I slid my arms around her.

"Warm?" I said. "You're warm. Beautiful. Warm. Comfortable…'

"Come on," she said. "It's nice and warm." She pulled her tank top over her head and dropped it on the floor, unhooking her bra with one hand and dropping that too. She pulled everything else off, and slipped behind the glass door. I hurried to join her, feeling the nice, hot water wash over my skin. She sighed happily, reaching for her shampoo in the corner.

"Really?" I said.

"Yes," she said. "I love washing my hair."

"Do you want me to do it?" I asked.

"Yes!" she said. "You have no idea…"

I laughed. "Then just say so."

"Well I'm sorry," she said. "I think it's a bit odd, don't you? Getting my hair washed turns me on."

"Different people like different things," I said gently, squeezing the shampoo into my palm.

"What do you like?" she wondered.

"I like it when you ask me for things. Anything. If I can give it to you. I especially like it if you ask me for sex, or if you initiate it," I informed her.

"Like today?" she asked.

'Like today," I said, kissing the water off of her shoulder.

I started to wash her hair for it, and she grinned.

"You're so weird," I told her.

"Thanks," she said, leaning back against me. I laughed a little and ran my fingers through her soapy locks.

"It feels so good," she said. "I don't think you get it."

I laughed a little and she was quiet. She turned around and kissed me gently, pressing her lips against my chest. The water took to her hair, rinsing out the suds. I slid my hands down her slick shoulders, smooth skin, one hand resting on the small of her back, and the other on her neck. I started to kiss her then, water running over the both of us.

-CD-

James:

"You look beautiful," I whispered, arms around her from behind as she shook out her wet hair in front of the mirror.

She smiled a little, a half smile, one side of her mouth.

"Thanks," she said, meeting my eyes in the mirror.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Nope," she said. "Everything is perfect."

"Liar," I said.

"I am not!" she said. "It's the truth. Everything is perfect."

"But yet something is wrong…" I said.

"Things should be more perfect," she said.

"What do you mean by that? How can things be more than perfect?' I asked. "Is that possible?"

"Yes," she said. "I want to have kids, James."

"Now?" I said. "I mean, because… we said a year."

"I know we said a year," she said, turning to look at me. "But I really want them… Except, not now."

"What?" I said. "You're confusing me, Lily."

"We can't have them in a world like this…" she said. "I keep thinking about that. With everything and everyone at war, it's not fair to bring a kid into this. Not when we risk our lives every single day… what if something happens to one of us? Or both of us? How is that fair to them? We shouldn't have kids yet. And that kills me, because I want a ton of them, and I want them soon."

She started crying then, tears spilling out of the corners of her eyes. And I was helpless. This was one of those cases, where I couldn't actually fix anything…

I put my arms around her. "Let's talk about it, love…" I picked up, and carried her back into the bedroom, setting her on the bed. I climbed up next to her and crossed my legs, taking her hands.

"Stop crying, Lily," I said. "Please, sweetheart." I stroked her cheeks, brushing away the tears.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm being daft…"

"No, no," I said. "It just kills me when you cry, and I'd much rather you didn't."

She sighed, shaking her head some more. "Anyway… I don't know what to think James… I would love to have a baby. I want to be a mum, and I think you'd be a wonderful dad…"

I put my arms around her and held her for a moment.

"If you want it, you can have it," I said. "If you want to stop being part of the Order so that we can have a peaceful family, we can."

"Oh god, don't say that!" she said.

"What, why not?" I asked.

"Stop it!" she said. 'you can't be that perfect. You're so selfless… James, the Order is everything to you. We can't just give that up. Not because I'm here sniffling over this. That's stupid."

"No, it's not," I said. "Look, Lily, I don't want anything to interfere with your happiness."

She hugged me. "God, I don't deserve you."

"I believe the exact opposite," I said.

She sighed. "I would never ask you to quit the Order. And I wouldn't quit it either. The only way to have a peaceful family, James, is to stop Voldemort. And now that he knows who we are… we can't just stop. We're not going to have peace until he's gone. In order to make this world safe for a family, we have to fight."

"But you want kids," I said.

"Yes I do," she said. "I don't know how to have it both ways."

I nodded, touching her cheek. "How about we let fate decide, shall we?"

"I hate fate," she said.

"I for one don't' actually believe it exists," I said. "I just said that because it seemed appropriate. I think everything happens because people cause it to happen. The results are directly related to the actions. We will have kids when it's time when we know it's time. Clearly, it's not time yet. But I think we'll know when to try."

"Okay," she said. "I think that sounds good."

"Doesn't it?" I said.

She nodded. "You're a saint James Potter."

"Why would that be?" I wondered.

"Because you put up with me and my insanity," she explained, shaking her head.

I grinned. "You're perfectly sane in my opinion, Lily."

She sighed, wrapping her arms around me. "We'll see."

"So are you done crying?" I asked tilting her chin up to look her in the eye. Her face was tear streaked, and her eyelashes glittered, wet like her eyes.

"Yes," she said, laughing a little, wiping at her eyes.

"Good," I said. "I don't' like to see that. Especially when I can't fix it."

"You always can fix it," she said, smiling. "You just talk me down. It's easy. I just have to listen."

I stroked her cheek again, feeling the slightly damp residue of the tears and smiling back at her.

"You will be happy," I said. "If I have anything to say about it."

"You're the number one source of happiness in my life," she replied. "I think you have something to say."

I grinned and put my arms around her, giving her a tight hug.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too, James," she said, sighing happily and leaning against me. Falling onto my side, I pulled her with me. She wrapped her arms around me, nestling against my chest.

"Life is good," I told her.

"Yes it is," she agreed.

-CD-

James:

I sat up against the headboard, trying not to wake her. She remained curled up quietly, pressed against me, arms around my waist. Even sleeping she looked gorgeous, peaceful, beautiful. I bit my lip for a moment, stroking the curtain of damp red hair away from her face.

It was impossible for me to sleep. I had too much on my mind to sleep. I didn't want to live like this, and I didn't want her to have to. I didn't want her to worry. I wanted her to be able to have kids when she wanted them.

Maybe I worried too much. I worried that she wasn't happy, even though she insisted over and over again that she was. I didn't see how she could be, living in Sirius's house, not being able to see her parents very often… I knew it wasn't my fault, that it was a decision we made as a pair. But I still wanted her to have the life she wanted, and I wanted to be able to give it to her.

I stroked her cheek gently.

"James?" she questioned, stirring slightly.

"Go back to sleep," I whispered, cupping her cheek in my hand.

"Why are you still up?" she asked.

"I can't sleep," I said. "But don't worry about me. Just go back to sleep, love."

"No, it's fine," she said, sitting up. "I'll stay up with you. Do you want to go downstairs and have some tea maybe?"

"Don't worry about me,' I said, pushing her hair away from my face. "You were sleeping. I'm sorry I woke you."

"Oh come on," she said, sliding out of bed. She took my hand and pulled me after her, heading down the stairs.

"it's the middle of the night, Lily," I whispered as we tiptoed past Padfoot's room.

"Thank you, I hadn't realized," she said, smiling. She stopped in the kitchen, waving her wand to boil water quickly.

"Lily?" I said after a moment of silence.

"Yes?" she asked, looking up at me from watching the kettle.

"You would tell me if you were unhappy right?" I checked.

"I would," she said. "But you don't have to worry about that. Because I don't see myself ever being unhappy. Not in this marriage. Are you unhappy?"

"No," I said, shaking my head heavily.

"Then we're all happy," she said, smiling. She took my hand gently. "I love you James. I'm happy. I promise."

"Good," I said, kissing her fingers.

_Next Chapter: "What are you playing at?" I demanded of the elder sister. _


	50. The Man with the Mustache

Chapter 50:

Lily:

The news came by owl. It was a scruffy brown barn owl, with big yellow eyes, wide as dinner plates, It floated gracefully in through the window, massive wingspan outstretched fully, a great silhouette on a gray late spring sky. Its claws dug into the window sill of Padfoot's kitchen, digging out marks that would later be repaired by someone else, not me. I figured Sirius came across it one day and whipped out his wand to smooth out the white paint and make it look new again.

The letter the owl carried was addressed to me, jut my name, with no address. It was printed in my mother's usual script, pristine and perfect, but slightly loopy, a little fancier than they taught in grade school. The ink was blue, probably from a regular stick pen, or maybe the fancy one that sat on Dad's desk in his study. I used to envy that pen. I used to sneak in and use it when I was young, simply to draw a picture, or doodle out a poorly scripted letter. Petunia used to yell at me, tell me I wasn't allowed in Daddy's chair, to touch Daddy's pen.

He used to come find me there too. But he wouldn't yell. He would give me more paper, and tell me to write whatever I wanted. He never used the pen. He sometimes forgot it was there. Someone ought to use it.

And at the end of the letter, after I read it, I could picture my mother sitting in that high backed leather chair behind his desk. I saw her writing out the letter with his pen, smearing ink and tears on the blotter, grabbing tissues from the box to wipe at her eyes and blow her nose. I wondered how she kept her hand so steady, the stationary so free of water stains and smeared ink.

The letter said he died of a heart-attack. According to mum, it was quick, and it was powerful. It knocked him down while he was at work, and they couldn't get him to the hospital on time. She said she needed me, and she didn't care if it put her in danger.

James found the letter on the bed in Padfoot's guest room, almost torn from where I had gripped it too hard. Next to it was a wad of tissues, streaked with my mascara. Me… well he found me sitting on the shower floor, directly in the spray, knees brought up to my chest, trying to wash away the news. I didn't know what I thought I was accomplishing, and I didn't think I managed anything by it, but that was where he found me.

"Lily," he said, sliding the glass back. He ducked his head in, and spray from the shower splattered on his glasses.

I'd long since gotten to the point where the tears and the shower water seemed interchangeable to me; I couldn't tell which was which. I wondered if he could even tell if I was crying.

"Hi," I choked, wishing I was like him, wishing I could handle something like this in the way he had, quietly, less dramatically. Fewer tears.

"Come here, love," he said.

I scrambled slowly and slipped on the floor. Ignoring the fact that he was fully clothed, he stepped right into the shower, bending down to pull me onto his lap.

"Stupid, you're getting soaked," I said.

"I don't care," he said, rocking me gently. "I'm sorry, love."

As soon as he said, I started sobbing. Choked noises emitted from my mouth, wracking through me. I was thankful that it was the shower ruining his shirt, not my tears, which I was certain were mixing in with it at this point.

"Shh…" he said, squeezing me against his chest. "Lily…"

"All of a sudden," I said. "Right after your dad and your mum…"

He rocked me some more, like a child, and if anything that made me sob harder.

"I'm not ready for him to be gone, James," I said.

"We're never ready for them to be gone," he said, shaking his head. He reached behind me and turned the shower off, bring me closer to him. I started shiver as soon as the breeze came in around the glass.

"Come on," he said, picking me up in his arms. He carried me out of the shower and got me out a towel, wrapping me up in it. He pulled off his clothes and stripped down, pulling a towel out for himself too. "Let's get in bed love. Come get your pajamas on."

I sniffed and followed him blindly into the bedroom, pulling a nightgown out of the dresser. He dressed and climbed up on the bed, offering out his arms.

"Come here," he said, pulling me into his arms. I curled up against his chest, so thankful to have him there. I didn't know what I would do without him.

He stroked my wet hair and just shushed me gently, holding me close. He knew there was nothing to talk about—nothing I would talk about. And so he comforted me in the best way. The only way. He knew how to make me feel better, like the world wasn't crumbling around me, breaking into pieces as I stood by and watched.

Eventually, he lay down with me, pulling the sheet up over us and keeping his arms tight around me. I kept my face and tears against his comforting chest, and reminded myself that he was there. As long as he was there, I would be okay.

-CD-

James:

We walked up the front porch of her parents' house. Lily knocked, but pushed the door open before her mother actually answered. The house had changed since I was last there. A gloom had settled over the rooms, and the air felt heavy. The loss of Mr. Evans was reflected everywhere, even without intention.

Lily and I found Petunia, Vernon, and Lily's mother, all in the dining room. Mrs. Evans was pouring over some funeral things, tears flying from her eyes, unstoppable. Petunia kept trying to soothe her, but was sobbing herself. Vernon looked less haughty than usual, and seemingly powerless.

Upon seeing her mother and sister, Lily flung herself down into a chair and started sobbing with them. Petunia, shockingly, took her hand and Mrs. Evans put arms around both of them.

"Wait…" I said, leaning down. I touched Mrs. Evans on the back. "Eva, let me do this, okay?"

I started to slide the paper away from her. She was shocked for a moment, and then let it go.

"Okay…" she said, sniffling.

"You three, go into the living room, Vernon will bring you some tea, all right?" I said, giving a pointed look to the man who seemed to get heftier by the day. He obliged, despite the fact that I was bossing him around. I made sure Lily, Petunia and Eva were all seated in the sitting room, armed with soft tissues, and went into the kitchen to help Vernon, who was waiting on the kettle.

"I can speed this along," I said, drawing my wand. He flinched back, practically pressing himself against the refrigerator.

"Oh come off it, man!" I said, shaking my head. "Fine. We'll just let it take its time then." I stuck my wand back in the waistband of my jeans. "When you're done, you can give me a hand, I know nothing about non-magic funerals."

He snorted. "Who do you think you are?"

"Who do I think I am?" I asked. "I think I am the son-in-law of Eva and Henry, and my wife, whom I love very much, is in there suffering right now, and I would much like to ease any pain on her, or her mother. And even Petunia."

He let out a gust of air, which made his unattractive mustache ripple.

I headed into the dining room, pulling a list Eva had made toward me, as well as a handful of funeral brochures. With pictures that didn't move. Quite odd.

After the tea boiled and he took it out to the three women, Vernon joined me at the dining room table, sitting next to me, but making sure to slide his chair as far away as he possibly could. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I don't bite," I said, shaking my head. "Which casket?"

I shoved the pictures at him, and he contemplated for a moment. "I don't know"

"We'll go with this one then," I said. "It fits the requirements set out by Eva, so I hope she's okay with it. I will ask her opinion on everything in the end, then. Sound good?"

He nodded briskly.

"You know," I said. "We are sons-in-law, together. Does that make us brothers-in-law? I've never _quite _understood how that works… Either way. We're connected. Our wives will always be sisters."

He sniffed once.

"We should probably attempt to get along," I said ."Or I think, you should attempt to get along with me. I am attempting heartily here… you just choose not to reciprocate.'

"I chose not to, because I don't want to be associated with you. Or your wife. And I don't want you associated with any of our future children," he said.

I grinned. "Magic isn't catching, Vernon."

"It's freaky and unnatural," he asserted.

"It's born in you. I don't see how that isn't natural," I said. "You don't fall into some radioactive pond and catch magic."

He sighed. "Oh you don't, don't you?"

"No," I said. "And I think you're biggest problem is that you don't understand it, and therefore you are afraid of it. And you are so afraid of it, you don't want to try to understand it."

"Afraid, sir?" he demanded. "I can assure you, Potter, that I have _never _been afraid of anything in my life."

"I saw you flinch when I pulled out my wand to speed up the boiling of water," I said. "How is that not fear?"

"I only know that magic is evil," he said. "And it is wrong. And you're not normal. And nor is your freaky little wife."

I rose from my chair then. "You can insult me all you want, Dursley, but you cannot insult my wife."

He rose too, a little wary, however, because he knew I had an advantage. He tried to stand nose to nose with me, but I was considerably taller.

"Watch me," he said.

"I'd rather you didn't," I said, my hand twitching toward my waistband.

"James?" Lily's voice demanded. I turned around. She was standing in the doorway, face flushed, eyes wet and red, but she looked more angry.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, moving to stand by her. "I wouldn't argue with him if he wasn't so bloody annoying."

"Turn him into a frog for all I care," she sniffed. "And my blasted sister." She sniffed again, only this time it was teary. And then she was crying.

"What?" I said. "Lily…"

"She told me that my father was disappointed in me," she said. "That he couldn't believe that I rushed into a wedding with a man I barely knew, the first one to look at me twice, she said. And that he thought I was unnatural… And I don't believe it, but when she says it… it sounds so true, James…"

"Lily," I said. "He didn't believe that. He heartily approved. He told me."

"But what if he just said that?" she demanded. "Petunia said he was just too wary of our magic to say no, wanted me gone so he and Mum weren't at risk…"

"Oh Merlin, Lily, you don't believe any of that, do you?' I asked.

"I don't know…" she said. "My head's all screwed up."

'Just wait here," I said, dropping her hand.

I walked into the living room, and Petunia, who was getting reproved by Mrs Evans looked up.

"Eva, could you please give me a moment alone with Petunia?" I asked.

Mrs. Evans nodded and walked into the dining room.

"What are you playing at?" I demanded of the elder sister.

"Excuse me?" she demanded.

"I don't care that you're my wife's sister," I said. "I don't care that she loves you very much. I don't want to cause any problems here Petunia, this is a horrible enough day as it is. But that being said, there is no reason for you to treat Lily the way you do, or for you to say the things you say to her. I don't care if you're jealous, or what, but you take this day, where you both are miserable, and you tell her horrible things that we both know aren't true, but that she's too screwed up to process… and she believes you. She believes that the father she loved deeply, who just died, didn't love her. You are a _horrible _person. I will not stand for it. You cannot treat her like that, not while I'm around."

She sneered. "You're just as horrible as she is, coming in here, trying to instill fear in everyone."

"I'm not trying instill fear," I said. "I'm trying to help. And you're hurting. And I will no stand for anyone hurting Lily'

Vernon stormed into the room, an angry rhino sans the horn.

"Who do you think you are?" he demanded of me. "Telling my wife what to do?"

"I think I'm one of three people in this house who understands what it is to be a decent human being," I said. "Petunia, her whole life, Lily has nothing but loved you and idolized you, despite your differences. And you turned on her. That is perhaps the cruelest thing I have ever seen. She just wanted a big sister. Something you refused to give her. How do you think your relationship made your father feel? Think about that?'

It was a low blow, but it had to be said. I watched as it washed over her.

I walked back out of the room then, taking Lily's hand in the dining room.

"You shouldn't have done that," she said, but she wasn't really scolding.

"Yes, he should have," her mother said, shaking her head. "Everything he says is true, Lily."

"I know," Lily said. "But Petunia and Vernon will never hear of it."

"I'm sorry," I said, taking her other hand too.

She shrugged. "You tried."

_Next Chapter: "Good luck avoiding that. That's what girls do, mate. They nag." _


	51. Everything I Never Knew I Wanted

Chapter 51.

James:

"Another summer," Lily said thoughtfully as the sun shone through the window.

I sighed. "Yes."

"We need to go home," she said. "At least to air the place out. We've thrown the Death Eaters off long enough, don't you think? It's been six months!"

"Dumbledore says he thinks we should be okay," I said. "If you want to go back. And that if we ever really need to disappear, well we can make that happen right in our own home, he says."

"Really?" she said. "God. I want to go back. Let's go back. It pains me to think of our beautiful little house all covered in cobwebs and dust…"

"I think Padfoot will be damn happy to be rid of us, too," I said, chuckling a little and shaking my head.

"He probably will," she said. "Can I start packing."

"You're so excited," I said, laughing. I put my arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"I am," she said. "We've been away from our house for too long. It's our house."

"Yes, it is," I agreed, summoning her suitcase from the closet, following it with mine. "Let's start packing."

Packing for witches and wizards was quite simple. We moved all of our clothes in a matter of minutes, changed the sheets, and cleaned the bathroom and the carpet in twenty more.

"Are you guys leaving?" Sirius wondered, laughing from the doorway.

"Oh my…" Lily said. 'Looks like we got carried away and forgot to tell Sirius. Yes. We're leaving. We're going home."

"Is it safe?" he wondered, leaning against the doorframe.

"Dumbledore says so," I said. "And I don't know whose word is better than Dumbledore's."

"That is the truth," Sirius said. "Are you going tonight then."

"Yes," Lily said. "Though it might be a big settled cloud of dust, so we might have to come back for fear of actually giving ourselves asthma."

"Can you do that?" I asked.

"I wouldn't be surprised," she said, shrugging and zipping her suitcase finally.

"Well I can't say I won't miss you," Sirius said. "But…"

"You will enjoy having the house to yourself again, won't you?" I assumed.

"I like being a bachelor," he said. "It's hard to be a bachelor when your best mate and his wife live in the room next door."

"As if you'd have any ladies around here anyway," I said, rolling my eyes. "You're still hung up on Emmeline."

"Says you," Padfoot replied. "I'll have you know that I am quite fine without her nagging me all the time."

"Good luck avoiding that," I said. "That's what girls do, mate. They nag."

Lily hit me on the shoulder. "I don't nag!"

"No, of course you don't," I said quickly. "I mean all other girls. I was lucky. I got the one in the world that doesn't nag."

Padfoot snorted and I glared at him.

"So you think I'm a nag?" Lily demanded, trying to keep a straight face.

"Yes," I said. "But like I said, all women in the world are nags. It's your second profession."

She laughed. "That's because all men are lazy. And we have to nag them to get them to do what we want."

"You don't have to nag," Sirius said. "You can just sleep with us, and we'll do anything."

Lily stared at him. "What a charming mentality."

"You know me, Evans," he said. "I'm all about the charm."

"And some girl will eventually see the humor behind all of it, I assure you," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Some girl, someday," I seconded.

"Eventually," Lily enforced.

"I'm glad you two are moving out," Padfoot finally declared. "You aren't exactly… nice."

"We try," I said, putting an arm around Lily.

-CD-

Lily:

"Just wave your wand. It will go away," James said as I stared in horror at the dust that had accumulated on my dresser.

"I feel so bad for our house!" I moaned, waving my wand to send all of the windows in the master open, and blow the dust off of their screens.

He grinned at me. "It'll be okay Lily. It will forgive us."

"I don't know," I said, shaking my head. "Look at the state it's in."

We were shooting massive clouds of dust outside; it seemed as if the house had been abandoned for several years, and not just left to get stuffy for a half of one. It was frustrating, to say the least, and as much as our neighbors probably thought some odd sort of dust storm was occurring, well, it had to be done.

There was a loud knock on our door about an hour later, and I jumped, just barely avoiding knocking my head on the dining room table as I sucked the dust up from the rug underneath it.

"I'll get it," James said.

"Be careful!" I said.

"Oh, it's just Bathilda," he said.

In our short time of living there, we had met Bathilda Bagshot several times. The poor old woman was going senile day by day, and well, I wondered if she really had anyone to talk to. There were many people, witches and wizards, around, but most of them had jobs all day.

"Hello!" I said, heading out into the front hallway and shaking dust out of my hair.

"Hello, dear," Bathilda said cheerily, shuffling over to give me a hug, even though we barely knew each other.

"I'm afraid it's a bit dusty in here," I said. "But would you like to come in for a cup of tea, maybe?"

"That sounds wonderful," Bathilda said, shrugging out of the light jacket she was wearing. Under that she had a cardigan, even though it was the summer.

James took her coat from her and we headed as a trio into the kitchen.

"So you two are coming back then?" she asked, settling into a chair as I readied the tea.

"Yes," James said.

"I talk to Dumbledore you know," she said. "I've known him for a long time. He told me that you had to go away, and if I could craft some interesting story to cover it up to the neighbors, it would be very welcome. And so, I thought I ought to tell you what I came up with."

"That was nice of you," I said, smiling at her.

"Always here to help the Order of the Phoenix," she said. "And you know, I would be a member if I wasn't so useless. I don't think a fighter that takes five minutes to go up the stairs would be of any help. Anyway… I told the neighbors… especially those next door—_very _nosy—that you had a vacation home in spring, and that you spent your winters there. I tell you that made miss priss next door's feathers ruffle. She didn't think that it was in the least bit fair that you two, being so young, could have a vacation home."

James laughed. "If only they knew."

"Oh they already think you have more money than you know what to do with," Bathilda said, accepting the cup of tea I put in front of her. "Thank you, dear. They think you bathe in galleons and stuff your mattresses with sickles."

'Because that's the height of comfort," James said. I put his cup of tea in front of him. "Thank you, love. Mattresses stuffed with sickles."

"I'm just telling you what I heard, young man," Bathilda said. "People have no respect for others in these days. When I was young, money was everything. You could be twenty years some man's senior, and he would still be better than you if he had more money. You still had to respect him."

"I don't think James deserves to be respected because he has money,' I said. "And I don't want anyone to respect me because I have money—or I suppose my husband does…"

"Which means you do too," James said.

"But I want them to respect us because we're decent people," I said.

"Oh dear," Bathilda said patting my arm. "I'm sure if Abigail next door got to know you she would think better of you. She's very much a 'judge a book by its cover' sort. But then she gets to know you… I don't know. She's a bit of a simple girl, I suppose."

James just laughed and shook his head. "Don't worry about Lily, Bathilda. She just can't stand it if people don't like her."

"That's not true," I said.

He grinned. "Right."

-CD-

Lily:

"It's nice to be home," I said, running my finger over the clean duvet.

"It is," he agreed, toweling off his hair and dropping the towel on the floor. She waved her wand to send it to hang itself up in the bathroom, giving him a pointed look. He grinned and shrugged sheepishly.

"No more having sex in the shower," I said.

"At least, not all the time," he said.

"You started to like it, didn't you?" I inferred, chuckling.

"Maybe," he said. "There's something about it."

"I personally think we're better at it in the bed," I said.

"I think most people probably are," he said, chuckling now too.

"Oh Merlin James, listen to us," I said, giggling a little. "I can't believe we're sitting here talking about this."

"Why not?" he wondered. "It has to be healthy for our relationship.

"I suppose it probably is," I said, shaking my head. He settled next to me on the bed, up against the headboard, where I was sitting. He put an arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"So," he said. "All in all? Good day?"

"Moving home made it a good day," I said. "I'm glad to be here. I'm glad that we woke up this morning, and decided to end our day here. Because this is the place where we're supposed to be. We're grown up, and married and we should be living alone. In a blissful and permanent honeymoon state that should last until our first child is born. Not living with your best friend—a wonderful friend we're lucky to have. But we shouldn't be living with him. That's just… it's not right. We're better off this way. We're supposed to be this way. Self-sufficient, or at least, the two of us together are sufficient."

He smiled and kissed right above my ear. "I agree, you know. I agree love."

"Good," I said. "You should."

"You're beautiful, Lily," he said.

"You tell me that a lot," I said.

"Do you grasp it completely?" he asked.

"I don't know what there is to grasp," I said. "You think I'm pretty."

"Oh there's no thinking," he said. "You _are _pretty. Gorgeous, in fact. Ask anyone and they'll tell you the same thing. I promise you. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Kingsley…"

I blushed. "Oh James."

"You should see it," he said. "I think every girl in the world needs to find that guy who can make her see it. And that's what I'm trying to do."

"You do it perfectly," I said. "When I'm with you, I feel beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful, like I'm the only girl in the world. And that's the best feeling. To know that I'm pretty. Even if sometimes I doubt it. The only person whose opinion I care about is yours. If you think I'm pretty, then I'm pretty."

"You're beautiful," he said. "Not just pretty. Pretty's too plain a word, I think, The more it's said, the more I think so. You're too good for the word."

I laughed. "James Potter, you sure do know how to make me go nearly insane."

"I know," I said. "It is the goal after all."

He leaned to kiss me and I moved to sit on his lap, straddling him, kissing him.

"It's nice to have a big and comfortable bed," I informed him.

"Yes it is…" he agreed, laughing a little. But he took me by the waist anyway, drawing me close to him.

"It's weird," I said. "Loving a bed so much, and our house. I never thought about it until I started dating you, James, and since then, well I can see the appeal. It's everything I never knew I wanted. Including you."

He grinned. "Ah Lils…"

_Next Chapter: "I don't want to kill you, and I am _not _wasting my time." _


	52. Twice

**_A/N: Late update today... I suppose. I had a busy morning. _**

Chapter 52.

Lily:

"Potters! Longbottoms! Merlin it was so much easier when you had your _own _names!" Alastor growled.

The crowd of Order members behind us was the greatest I had ever seen. Some of the people I had never met before. Even Emmeline was back with us, standing awkwardly next to Sirius because Alastor had strategically lined us up. He was annoyed, annoyed that Dumbledore seemed to think we could do this mission without him, and so he was huffing loudly and muttering to himself that our great leader had "more important matters to attend to."

"If you don't all shut your gaping mouths now, we might as well curse each other to death," Alastor spat. "If you don't think they already know we're here, then you're sorely mistaken, I promise. They have just as many charms and enchantments to protect and alert them in their arsenal as we do. Which means they'll be ready. We want their secrets, maybe their lives. They just want our lives. This is not every man for himself. Protect each other, watch each other's back, but be vigilant. Don't depend on others to save your neck."

We all nodded.

"Okay," he said. "You know where you're supposed to go." We split off into groups. James and I were together—Moody had long since given up trying to separate us, claiming that James had attachment issues.

"Let's see," Simon, head of our group, muttered under his breath as we headed around the back with the second group. "Wands out, all."

"You didn't really have to say that," Kingsley said, chuckling a little. This was the current Death Eater headquarters. How the Order came to know of its location we weren't informed, but we knew it. We were the group destined for the second floor from the back, going up the servant stairs. With us was the other group, bound for the first floor, distracting the first floor Death Eaters long enough to let us get up the stairs, where most of the information, according to inside sources, was being kept.

Simon and Hestia, who was leading the other group, blew the back door open with their wands. We were instantly met with a group of Death Eaters, firing spells at us.

"Go, Simon!" Hestia yelled. James, Kingsley, Marlene, Padfoot and I darted after Simon, heading through the back kitchen, blasting a shocked Death Eater out of the way with four combined stunners. We hurried up the stairs.

"Groups of two, like we planned," Simon barked. I grabbed James by the hand, and we headed into the first room as the others headed down the hall.

"This room is not important," I declared, waving my wand to detect spells or enchantments. It was a bedroom, but it was stripped bare. Every dresser was hanging open, and it was empty.

"Across the hall, then," James said, darting across the hallway. The room we entered was a large library, filled with books that were stacked to the ceiling. A fire roared in the fireplace, despite the heat of the August evening. An empty armchair appeared recently vacated, as a glass of amber liquid sat on the table next to it, with ice that had not yet melted. Next to it was a stack of parchment and an open bottle of ink with a black quill.

I walked across the room carefully, with James taking the other side. I reached out for the pile of parchment, but my hand could not touch it. An orb of some protective magic kept my hand from reaching them. It felt like hitting jelly repeatedly. I lifted my wand, trying to bring down the barrier with the spells I knew. It was some sort of powerful magic, obviously, something they didn't teach us how to break down at Hogwarts. I started grumbling under my breath, spitting out all of the spells I knew, knowing most of them were futile. But I knew the parchment was what we were here for.

"Lily!" James shouted. I turned at the exact time to see Voldemort walk into the room.

"Ah, ah," he said coolly. "Don't touch, Mrs. Potter."

James made to start across the room, but Voldemort raised his wand. James slammed into an invisible barrier, which knocked him back against the bookshelf, sending books tumbling down onto his head. He regained his balanced and started shooting his own spells at it.

"It's useless, James," Voldemort said, shaking his head. "The more spells you cast the stronger it gets. A bit of my own invention. Clever, isn't it?"

I sneered. "What do you want with us? Our strongest aurors and fighters are down there. And yet you're focusing on us…? Why? What do you want?"

"Lovely Lily," Voldemort said. "I believe we've had this conversation now haven't we?" I raised my wand, leveling it fearlessly. Or at least I hoped I appeared to be fearless. James was pacing behind the barrier, contemplating. I could see Voldemort shooting the occasional glance at him from the corners of his slit-like eyes.

"I don't want to kill you, and I am not wasting my time," he said, shaking his head.

"Well, I think you are," I said. "If you're going to try to _recruit _me again, or James."

"You may have gotten away once, but I am not so foolish as to let it happen again," Voldemort hissed. "You don't see yourself as the strongest fighters? I do. I do. And Lord Voldemort recognizes strength and he knows how to use it."

"He's also a loony who refers to himself in the third person. Narcissistic snake!" I spat.

I could practically hear James hitting himself in the face when I said that. I didn't regret it, however, even though it earned me the following Cruciatus curse. It was pain. I knew that much, pain that took over my entire body, as if someone was taking a thousand stiletto knives and stabbing them into every inch of my skin, all at once, every sensitive area. I couldn't tell if I was screaming. All I could think, as I was there on the floor was James. I didn't want him watching this. I knew he would be beating himself up, hitting himself for being powerless. I wished him to be anywhere but there, because I could handle the pain, but I knew he couldn't handle watching it.

Voldemort let up after a moment, and I climbed quickly to my feet, brushing the dust off of my jeans as I did so. I cleared my throat.

"I assure there is more of that," he said. "And perhaps the most painful death you can imagine. You can't escape out of a window this time, and your husband can't protect you. It's your choice, Lily Potter, I am giving you the choice. You can join me, or you can die."

"I don't know why you offer this choice," I said. 'I would die a thousand times, in the thousand most painful ways you could think of, before I would fight for your side. And I know James would do the same thing. So if you're going to kill me, kill me." I turned to James. "Don't watch, James."

"Lily!" James shouted, throwing himself against the barrier. It wasn't as rubbery. It sounded like he collided with plastic.

"Don't watch," I told him again.

Voldemort smirked. "So you truly chose death? The option of the weak? The escape of the frail?"

"The exit of the brave. Those who hold fast to their beliefs," I said.

"You're just going to stand here and let me rip the life from you?" Voldemort demanded.

"No," I said. "I will fight you."

"You're going to _fight _me?" he said, laughing as he said the words.

"As best as I can," I replied strictly.

"Lily…" James said.

"Make yourself useful and figure out how not to die, would you?" I demanded of him, shooting him a glare.

I raised my wand in front of me and cleared my throat, thinking back to dueling in school, of learning how to fight against the members of my Defense class, as the forces of Voldemort rallied out beyond the safe walls of Hogwarts. I opened my brain to dig out the spells I had practiced and searched for one my own time, using my status and recognition among the faculty to peruse the Restricted Section of the library since fourth year.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James with his eyes closed. He wasn't trying to not see the scene in front of him. He was thinking.

"First we bow?" I offered to Voldemort.

"Of course," the Dark Lord said, bending very slightly. I did the same.

"One," I said. "Two,…. _Three."_

He shot the first spell, and I deflected it in time to return with my own, which he bounced off the ceiling. It made a massive crack through the plaster. I just had to distract him, keep him fighting, dodge his killing curses. That was it. That's what it was…

I shot a spell at him that managed to catch his robes on fire. He laughed and waved them out with his wand. I stole a glance for that moment over at James, who was no behind a wall so solid it looked like glass. No… it didn't look like glass. It was glass. And glass was easy for James to break. He'd shattered windows in my presence before.

I hexed Voldemort again, but it rebounded on me. I barely avoided my own stunner in that sense, but I was waiting for him to bring out the real spells. Maybe he was teasing me. Playing with his food, basically. Humoring me because I thought that _I _could duel with _him._

A shattering noise echoed through the room. The wall made by Voldemort had shattered into broken glass on the floor, which was slowly liquefying, into pools of _something _beneath James's feet. He Whipped his wand even harder, apparently breaking the dome that surrounded the parchment. It was in his arms before Voldemort could react.

"No!" Voldemort shouted, outraged. I shot the worst spell I knew at him as he ignored me, lunging for James. And suddenly, he was on fire. He screamed as James and I bolted for the room. I could hear him using every spell he knew to put himself out, and I knew he would find it shortly, because Voldemort had power I didn't even know about.

"Simon!" James shouted. "Simon get out of here now. Get everyone out. I have to go, now. Padfoot tell them to go downstairs! Lily come with me."

We went down the backstairs rapidly, running as fast as we could, knowing we wouldn't be able to disapparate inside the grounds and knowing easily that Voldemort was probably not on fire anymore.

Balls of fire were flying through the air at us as we ran, a wall building up. I pulled James and the parchment that he was still carrying through the final gap, and as soon as we jumped over the nearest fence, we disapparated.

We darted up the walk of Astor's house when we got there, and as soon as we were through the door. I turned to James, half grinning.

James however was grimacing. He dropped the parchment on the floor, leaning away from it.

"Oh shit…" he said. "Damn it that hurts…"

"What?" I demanded. It took me no time to realize what he was referring too. The parchment, where he had held it, had burned through his button down shirt and it seemed as if it was an acid, eating his skin, dissolving his shirt and burning his hand.

"James!" I said as he started swearing more loudly. I summoned Astor's dittany from the cupboard upstairs and emptied the bottle onto his skin, pushing him to the floor, it was doing nothing. It just continued to eat up around his chest, across his skin.

_Next Chapter: "Turned out all it wanted was blood..."_


	53. Some Spells I Know

**_A/N: Well I'm a little preoccupied. Midnight release tonight and all that. I just had a little freak attack of excitement. See, I have not been able to go to a midnight release before, and the insane Harry Potter fan in me has been crushed and held back for so long... I know. It is a traumatic tale. _**

Chapter 53.

James:

I blinked warily, eyelids fluttering. The room was blurry, and I instantly groped for my glasses. Someone pressed them gently into my hand and I slid them on. Lily's face, plastered with a strict glare, was right next to me, and we were not in our house, but in Astor's upstairs room again.

"James Potter," Lily said, staring at me.

"What did I do?" I wondered.

"Don't you dare terrify me like that again," she said, hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry?" I offered.

She leaned down and kissed me heatedly on the lips.

"Oh the parchment…" I said knowingly as I looked down to see my chest bare, but angry pink lines stretched across my abdomen.

"Yes," she said, shaking her head. "Thank Merlin for Dumbledore. He was just coming into Astor's on time to see you black out, and me, powerless and panicking. Had it not been for him and some quick thinking on his part and the part of Astor and Alastor, who showed up shortly thereafter…" she shuddered.

"And the parchment?" I asked. "Was it important?"

"Clearly, based on the spell around it," she said. "Dumbledore was working on getting the enchantments off of it, last I checked."

"Good," I said. "Good. Glad I helped."

"You did," she said. "Meanwhile proceeding to nearly die."

"I'm okay," I assured her.

"Did you see your stomach? It was some sort of acid spell or something…" she said, shaking her head. "You were giving me a heart attack, James Potter, and you cannot do that to me again."

"What about you, telling me not to watch… I thought you were going to die right there…" I said.

"Which is why I said to not look,' she replied, shaking her head.

"But we're both safe, and that's what counts," I said, stroking her cheek. "So what's the verdict? Am I going to have this awesome scar pattern on my stomach for the rest of my life?"

"Well…" she said. "They don't know yet. Dumbledore called a healer in to make sure the curse was contained and that you weren't going to die, and he said he hasn't seen the spell before, but that it was long gone, and you will be fine. But you might be permanently scarred from this type of magic. The stuff on your hands is gone, but that's mostly because by a point they had to start to regrow the skin, actually… But the stuff on your stomach they could just heal because it hadn't eaten too far down…"

"Charming," I said. "So what do you think?"

I climbed out of bed, and she watched me carefully.

"What do you mean?" she wondered.

"Of the scars," I said. "I'm sure they're a lovely addition… How hideous do you think it is?"

"I don't think it's hideous," she said. "I think it's kind of… devil-may-care. It's tough. It's attractive. It shows that you are brave. Even if it's just me that ever sees it."

I smiled at her. "Merlin, I love you.'

"I love you too," she said, wrapping her arms around me. "I love you so much. So let's try not to get in Voldemort's path anymore. Sound good?"

"Sounds wonderful," I said, kissing her happily on the cheek.

"We have to thank Alice and Frank," she said. "Voldemort was distracted by them. If not, we wouldn't have made it out of there."

"Are they all right?" I wondered.

"Oh yes," she said. "They gave him a good run for his money, though Moody had to help them get out of there, then everybody came back to headquarters while you were still lying on the floor in the entryway and I was fluttering around being more harm than help."

"Let go downstairs," I said. "I'm hungry."

"You'll have to go shirtless," she said. "Your shirt didn't fare very well."

"That's all right," I said, laughing a little. "No one down there will be offended by my shirtlessness."

We headed down the stairs together.

"He emerges!" Padfoot cheered upon seeing me. "With war wounds. How are you, mate?"

"I'm fine," I said. "Feel just as good as always."

"How are you hands?" Astor wondered, appearing behind him.

"They feel like my hands always feel, thankfully," I said, smiling. "I hear you played a good part saving my life there." I gave her a quick hug. "Thanks."

"Oh of course," she said. 'I didn't think anything of it, dear."

"Look at those scars," Marlene commented to Emmeline, who was still here, sitting on the counter with a plate of dinner in front of her. "He looks dangerous."

"Miss McKinnon, you are not a schoolgirl anymore," McGonagall said from the table where she was eating dinner with a few of the other older Order Members.

"And you have a boyfriend," Remus said, leaning against the counter next to her.

"Yes, and you look dangerous too," Marlene said, putting an arm around her.

"Do you want some food, James?" Astor asked, already piling a plate up for me. Lily already ate. Left your side for all of five minutes to get the food and then sent her plate back down by magic and knocked off Dedalus's top hat.

"Sheesh, Lil," I said. "I thought they told you I wasn't going to die."

"They did," she said.

"But she didn't believe us," Astor said. "She didn't even believe Dumbledore."

"Speak of the devil!" Marlene said. "Hi Professor!"

Dumbledore ducked his head to avoid hitting his pointed hat on the doorframe as he entered the kitchen.

"Hello," he said. "I thought I would stop in and say hello to Mr. Potter here."

He walked over to join Lily and I in front of the door that led to the laundry.

'How are you, James?" he wondered.

"I'm very well," I said. "Thank you. And thank you for saving me, sir. I'm sure that was… a sight."

He shook his head. "I'm glad you're all right. If there is anything I hate in this world, it is the sight of any of the members of the Order in that much peril… Too bad it scarred so horribly. Your hands are all right?"

"Yes," I said, looking at them, laughing a little. I shook my head.

"Well," he said. "I hope you know that your efforts were not in vain. I've managed to break the spell from around that bunch of parchment, with the help of a few defensive spell and enchantment experts that I know… They were quite helpful."

"What was on them, if you don't mind me asking, sir?" I said.

"I fear that's for you to find out with the other's in time," he said. When he noted how visibly curious I was, and how I was trying to hide it, he smiled. "You're wondering how long that's going to be. I'm sorry to say you might never know. It could be years. I'm hoping we won't have to share before the end of the war, that we won't need the information. But just the same, know that I am thankful you found it."

I frowned.

"I'm sorry," he said, laughing a little. "I know you're very curious. I just plead with you to be patient until then."

"All right," I said, nodding. "I suppose I can handle that."

-CD-

Lily:

"They don't look that bad," I said, putting my arms around him from behind as he stood in front of our full length mirror.

"They're just strange," he said.

"I don't find you any less attractive, if that's what you're worried about," I said, kissing his shoulder.

He looked down at me. "Really?"

"What did I say earlier?" I asked. "Bravery. It's more attractive than anything, James. Really. I promise. But I do have a couple of questions for you."

"Oh?" he said, turning around to look at me.

"How did you manage to get that wall down?" I asked. "That barrier he made. And the one around the parchment."

He grinned. "Just some spells I know."

"Care to share?" I asked.

"Well…" he said. "I was grasping at straws. Voldemort only really thinks about things in his own way. He assumes that all people in the world would face a problem the way he would. And I was just thinking… well… it got more solid every time a spell was sent to _destroy _it. Destroy. Not change. I could've changed it to liquid at that point, I thought, but I wasn't sure if that would work, or if the liquid would be impossible to walk through. So I kept shooting spells that would seem as if I was trying to break it down. And then it became solid. A solid that was shockingly easy to turn into a glass wall.

"But like I said, as he's Voldemort, he would only think about it in his way. His way is to attack it, destroy it. He assumed everyone would approach it in the same way. With force. And I used my long-held transfiguration skills."  
>I laughed. "It almost seems so simple."<p>

"I know," he said. "When it worked I was shocked for a moment. But then I had to get out of there, obvious—and why the glass started to liquefy when it broke… well your guess is as good as mine…"

"And the barrier around the parchment?" I wondered.

"Well… I wasn't sure if that was going to work," he said. "But I was prepared to do anything. Turned out all it wanted was blood."

"_Blood?" _I questioned, appalled.

"Well…" he said. "I cut my hand on some of the glass. So it just went through, and it felt like it was sucking at the cut… but I was so surprised that I could grab the scrolls… and then of course they started burning my hands, but I didn't want to bring that point up until we were gone…"

I stared at him. "Oh Merlin."

"But might I say that my wife did quite a wonderful job fighting against Voldemort. You set him on fire?"

"Well yes…" I said, glancing downward.

"And where did you get that spell from, I ask?" he wondered.

"Out of spell book that is locked in the back of the restricted section," I whispered, ashamed.

"Is it dark?" he wondered.

"Well… I suppose you could say so," I said. "While it puts fire all around you, your body is not harmed. I suppose it must be psychological. You feel as if you're on fire, but you're really not. So it's… dark, but it's not that bad… I suppose. It's almost like the cruciatus curse, but you can stop it once it's put on you. It's not that difficult to get off…"

"You don't have to defend it, Lily," he said. "Not if you used it on him. It wasn't as if you were using it on innocent people. I know. It was Voldemort. That changes things."

I nodded. "Good. Because I don't actually feel bad about it. I mean… he was going to kill me. And you."

"Exactly my point," he said, putting an arm around me. "I'm just happy you're safe. I don't care what you had to do to get here, what sinister evil book spells like that come out of. As long as you're sleeping beside me, I'm okay with it."

"I was just doing some reading," I said. "I've always been curious."

He glanced over his shoulder, as if looking for someone. "Who are you defending yourself to? It couldn't possibly be me, I know, because I've already said it doesn't matter."

I smiled. He knew exactly how to make me feel like everything in the world was perfect.

"Come on," I said. "Let's go to bed."

We left the bathroom and climbed into our bed, in our bedroom, in our house, together. I kissed him on the lips and then I kissed the scares from the spell.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too."

_Next Chapter: Lily and James's first anniversary! _


	54. An Anniversary

**_A/N: Okay so change of plans. Part three is going to be so short now. The fic is ending at the same time as I always said it would, October 30, 1981. However, it's taking me fewer chapters to get there than originally planned... Anyway. Yeah. It's a good thing, though, because it was going to get really boring for both writer and reader if I made it any longer... I promise. _**

Chapter 54.

James:

"Happy anniversary!" I declared, offering out a bouquet of autumn flowers. She stirred gently in the bed, looking up.

"Happy anniversary!" she replied, springing up quickly, as soon as she saw me. She jumped out of bed, nearly knocking the flowers out of my hand. She wrapped her arms around me and started to kiss me.

I laughed. "We have the day off, love. All to ourselves. Just you and me. Celebrating one year of mildly stressful but still amazing wedded bliss."

She grinned. "And it wasn't even mildly stressful because of each other."

"Nope," I said, kissing her again.

"Well your first anniversary gift is technically supposed to be something like paper… I don't know," she said, jumping up away from me excitedly and digging around in the drawer of her night stand, which I knew had an extension charm on it, and was in fact the only thing in Lily's life that was unorganized.

"And I think this counts," she said. "I spent a while thinking about what you like. I mean there are the obvious things you can get people, cuff-links, a tie, that sort of thing. But I got this instead. It's not much… but…"

She produced a thick, leather bound book, which weighted down my hands as I took it from her.

"Whoa," I said, running my hand over the cover. "One thousand extreme defensive spells."

"And we're not talking expelliarmus," she said. "Though I believe that's actually in there. This is real stuff, James."

"It's perfect!" I said. "I love it, Lily, thank you."

I leaned down to kiss her.

"Now your turn," I said, setting the book carefully on the bed. I pulled out the small box I had for her. "I wasn't sure if you would like this…"

"James, you've known me forever," she said. "How could you pick something out I wouldn't like."

She lifted the lid of the small box, revealing the intricate ruby necklace lying on the black velvet.

"It was my mother's," I said. "I found it when I was going through all of her stuff the other week. It's the most modern of her jewelry…"

"Oh my…" she said.

"You hate it?" I questioned.

"No, I love it," she said, shaking her head. "Merlin you would think we hadn't been married a year, the way you worry about things."

"So you actually like it?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "It's beautiful."

"I was hoping you would like it…" I grinned at her and put my arms around her, kissing her again.

"Happy anniversary," she said again, setting the box down gently and slinging her arms around my neck.

"We have a whole slew of cards down there," I said. "From everyone who felt the need to wish us happy anniversary. And there are waffles and eggs and bacon down there, keeping warm."

"Remind me again why we're standing up here then…" she said.

"Because we were kissing," I said.

"Kissing or breakfast…" she said. "Oh why is life filled with such difficult decisions?"

"How about I kiss you on the way to breakfast?" I offered.

"We might fall down the stairs, but oh well," she said, shaking her head and laughing. I swung her up into my arms and kissed her happily, walking out of the bedroom.

-CD-

James:

"I love you," I said, stroking her cheek gently. She smiled up at me, her green eyes bright and happy.

"I love you too," she said, twisting her fingers in mine.

We were taking a "midday nap" which in truth was just us being lazy and lying in bed because we could. We liked having the luxury of being lazy, if only for a day.

She rolled so that she was closer to me, more or less on top of me. I laughed and put my arms around her, kissing her again. She laughed a little, but kept kissing me. I flipped her onto her back, leaning over her. My hands slid up under her t-shirt, peeling it up and over her head. She lifted her arms obligingly and then moved to do the same with my t-shirt. I kissed around on her collarbone, down across her skin and over the very top, the lace, on her bra. She kept kissing me, happily, on top of my head, around my forehead, neck bent slightly. She slid her hands down my chest over my abs.

I started sucking on her neck then, breathing in her wonderful, fresh, Lily smell. She always smelled so good. It wasn't fair. It was always distracting, enticing… She kissed my neck too, however, arms latched around my neck holding me strictly to her, not even giving me room to budge.

After a moment, our lips met again, finding each other. She sucked on one of my lips, and I felt her teeth for a moment, before she let go and keep kissing me. Our tongues weren't so much battling as accepting mutual dominance and enjoying the ride.

I moved my hands to the waistband of her jeans, finding the button and undoing it easily. I did the zipper too, and managed to wriggle her out of them. More than a year—in fact almost two years—had made us more than experts on this action.

She worked at my jeans then, undoing the belt. She hated belts. She said they were just getting in her way. I told her if I didn't wear them, I would have to walk like a penguin with my pants around my ankles. She vowed to buy me smaller pants. But she never had.

I kissed around the top of her bra some more, reaching behind her with one hand to undo the clasp. It popped open, and I slid it off of her shoulders, tossing it off to the side, continuing to kiss her.

"I love you," I told her again, sliding her panties off her. I didn't even realize she'd taken off my boxers. I just knew all my blood was south.

"You are everything," she said simply, kissing me on the lips and putting her hands into my hair. I knotted my fingers into hers, at least one hand. The other hand I slid between her legs, spreading them apart for me to slid in between. I thrust inside of her with little warning, and she moaned, a little shocked but too content to truly gasp. The look of lost bliss on her face made me moan and pull out, before pushing in even farther. She whimpered again, and that, I wasn't sure if she knew, turned me on so much. I drove further inside of her, pulling back and pushing again. She continued to moan, and the fact that she was feeling good started to make me feel good, and go faster, harder, because I had to make her feel good, in order to feel good myself. In the end, it was all about her. I wanted her to feel good.

I felt her hands grip my hair, struggle for purchase on my back. She would probably end up clawing me again, but I never noticed until afterward, when she would apologize profusely. At the moment, however, her eyes were closed, and her mouth was open, around a perfect moan.

She made a small noise in the back of her throat and suddenly she had rolled us over. She ended up on top, rocking her hips back and forth, hands on my chest, a somewhat crazed but still exceptionally beautiful look in her eyes.

Eventually I ended up back on the top, but I wasn't quite sure how it happened. Her head hit the pillow though, and she was thrusting her hips upward.

I was quite proud of myself for hanging on so that she came first. But the feeling of her orgasm and the noise of absolute pleasure escaping her lips knocked me headfirst so that we came together instead. I came inside of her, her name on my lips.

She pushed me over so that we both collapsed, spent, on our sides.

"I love you," she panted, laughing and wiping at the sweat on her forehead. I pushed her hair, which had become slightly tangled, out of her eyes so that I could see her better.

"Happy anniversary," I said, leaning in to give her a careful, sweet kiss on the lips.

"You too," she said, leaning in to kiss me as well.

-CD-

Lily:

I brushed my hair out slowly, looking in the mirror. James came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, and stood behind me at my mirror.

"Do you just feel… _so good?" _He asked, laughing a little.

"Yeah," I said, laughing too and putting down my brush. "I feel _very _good. Happy. Different."

"Different?" he questioned.

"Wondering,' I replied.

"About what?"

"What the next year holds for us," I explained, shrugging. "What will the year 1980 hold for us?"

"A lot of good things," he said. "I can already tell."

"I think so too," I said. "No matter what happens, there will always be good things."

"Always," he agreed, kissing my forehead. "It would take quite a bit to ruin my happiness."

"This is what people always say," I said. "When they talk about how money and power and fame don't give you happiness. It's just the joy of being with you. Having this house. An good friends whom we love and who love us… That's what brings us happiness."

"Exactly," he said. "So like I said, there must be a lot of good things to come for us. Because we have each other. And those good friends."

I nodded, smiling a little. "True."

"True," he said, lifting me up and sitting down on the chair he just pulled me out of. He nestled me comfortably on his lap.

"Love, you are everything," he said.

"And so are you,' I replied, turning to kiss his cheek. "Can you believe we've been married for a year James?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "It seems like just yesterday I was on my knees begging for you to give me a chance and you were rolling your eyes, getting angry, and storming off after calling me a bunch of horrible names."

"Oh the good old days," I said, offering out a reminiscent sigh. He chuckled and kissed my cheek.

"The good old days," he said, shaking his head. "How about the days where all I wanted was you and I couldn't have you? That's how it was for me. Miserable."

"Oh yes," I said. "You were miserable all the way until our seventh year," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well I was a lot happier when we started dating," he said.

"Well so was I," I said. "But neither of us were miserable. You were deterred. I was trying to deter you. And now, look where we are, two years since we started dating."

"Two years," he said. "Goodness if I'd just given up being a prick, I could've had you long before that, couldn't i?"

"You'll never know," I said. "I don't think so. I don't think either of us was ready for the other until seventh year. We both had to remove our heads from our arses. Sometimes you just have to do that."

"Sometimes you just do," he agreed. "I guess it doesn't matter. As long as I get you now."

"And you do," I assured him.

"Really?" he said. "I didn't know…"

_Next Chapter: "Better start believing. It's happening." _


	55. Unexpected

**_A/N: So... as we wind down, i keep forgetting to point this out: I love canon. I only do canon. However, I don't know if any of you have noticed... my timing of death for non-main characters is never canon. It's not like I don't know when they're supposed to die... it's just the one thing i have decided, in the interest of this fic, to blatantly disregard. I hope no one is horribly disappointed by that. _**

Chapter 55.

James:

I sat down on the bed, looking toward the bathroom door. I was starting to get worried, but I wouldn't say anything. I just kept my mouth shut and kept staring. I'd knocked and asked if she was all right twice already, and I was certain she was annoyed at me. But if she was sick, I needed to know so I could go and fix her some potion to make her feel better. She wasn't sharing.

"I can hear you watching the door," she said. She laughed.

"I'm not!" I lied hurriedly, standing up and swearing she had x-ray vision. Pacing it was then. She'd already yelled at me for it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I demanded.

"I don't know," she said. "Give me a minute, I'll be out in a minute."

"Lily, you can't do this to me!" I declared. She'd disappeared into the bathroom this morning, after returning from Diagon Alley, about an hour ago, with a concerning look on her face. And I'd been left to wonder what was wrong.

"You are so impatient!" she complained. The door still didn't open.

"this is not fair," I said. "I'm worried. You're going to drive me insane, and then it will be your fault when they have to lock me up in St. Mungo's."

"That's not even funny," she said, pulling the door open, finally. She looked pale.

"You're pale!" I declared. "Are you sick?"

She shook her head, her lips becoming a thin and worrying line.

"Then what the hell is wrong?" I said, throwing my hands up in exasperation.

"Worry wart," she declared, not laughing anymore. She looked at me for a moment, as if thinking how to phrase something.

"Are you sure you aren't sick?" I asked.

"Well I did throw up this morning," she said thoughtfully.

"Then you're sick," I said. "Why did you go to Diagon Alley? You should've stayed home. I'll make you a potion, get in bed."

"Merlin, James," she said. "It's not the plague. I'm not even sick. I promise.'

"Lily, you're not helping. Why don't you just tell me, yeah?" I said, taking her hands.

Suddenly she was crying, tears spilling out of her eyes rapid fire.

"What…?" I demanded.

"I don't know what to do…" she said.

"Oh… love…" I said, putting my arms around her. "Lily, what's wrong?"

She sniffled against my shoulder. "I'm pregnant."

I froze. Froze solid.

"You're what?" I said, breathless.

"I know," she said. "I know… we weren't planning on it. We hadn't talked about it… and I think… I mean, we weren't going to try, I didn't think… because of the war…"

"Lily,' I said, pulling back to look at her face. I wiped away her tears. "Lily, why are you crying?"

"Because this wasn't supposed to happen," she said, trailing off.

"And?" I prompted.

"And I'm so glad it did…" she said, laughing a little. "We're going to have a baby James."

I laughed too, glad to see she was actually happy. "We are?"

"Well that is what I meant when I said I was pregnant, yes," she said, grinning at me. "I think… I think it was our anniversary, actually… When… when it happened."

"And you didn't know until now?" I asked. "Merlin, it's been about a month."

"Nearly four weeks," she argued, seeming to ignore the fact that most months were made up of four weeks. "Or thereabouts… And well I calculated it out and it was the right time of month to get pregnant… and then… well my period didn't come last week. Or this week… But I mean, that sort of thing has happened to me before. When I get stressed or something… I don't know. But then… I just decided to go to the apothecary this morning in Diagon to get a test… and it looks like I am. We are having a baby, James."

I laughed then, picking her up and swinging her around. "I can't believe it."

"Better start believing it," she said. "I'm going to get fat and round and happy."

"We're going to be so happy," I said. "He's going to grow up to be just like me."

"He? And oh dear I hope not," she said, laughing. "What if it's a girl?"

"Then she should be like me," I said, grinning.

"I'm really offended now," she said. "How about a mix?'

"Nah, I really hope, boy girl, whatever it is, I hope it's like you," I said, kissing her. "Merlin… I can't believe we're having a baby…"

"Better start believing," she said, smiling up at me. "It's happening. You and me, James… plus one."

"We need to get you to a healer, a midwife," I said. "Just to make sure everything is okay…"

"Yes," she said. "I suppose we ought to."

"I have a question though," I said. "If you were taking your potion, how did this happen?"

"The potion comes with a warning. It's only ninety-nine percent effective," she offered.

"So you're telling me this happened with one percent odds?"

"Yes," she said. "Which is why I know it's right. I don't believe in fate, but I do believe that coincidences, good things, happen."

"I believe that too," I said, stroking her hair. "Wow. I really can't believe this."

"I can't either," she said.

-CD-

Lily:

"Still don't say anything yet," I whispered to him, squeezing his hand.

"I know, you've already said," he said, shaking his head an grinning.

We walked up into headquarters several weeks later. The female healer at St. Mungos who had examined me said that the baby and I were both very healthy and, as she put it, perfect. I hadn't wanted to tell anyone just yet. It was just the beginning. There was a chance that things could still go wrong, and I didn't want to tell a lot of people, just in case something bad happened. We had to get past another month. Or at least, that was what I decided.

I was about two months now, but I was already starting to show just a little bit. My stomach was harder, and my belly stuck out just a little bit, instead of mostly flat like it used to be. It was still a secret between James, my mother, and me. We hadn't even told Padfoot, Moony or Wormtail, or even Alice and Frank, who had announced their own pregnancy a week before. I was still wary.

James thought I was being silly. I knew he did. But he was going along with it. Because I was making him. I knew we would break, and soon, but I had suddenly developed a fear of jinxing things and I was not about to take any risks.

And so much for a bunch of aurors. I was throwing up all of the time and they couldn't even deduce what was wrong with me. I was somewhat scared for our future.

"Hello everyone," I said cheerfully, sitting down in the kitchen with James. Hestia and Marlene were sitting at the table, finishing up their breakfast.

"Hello," Hestia said, laughing a little.

We hadn't had much action with the Death Eaters since we raided their headquarters in August. It was falling closer to the New Year and Dumbledore predicted any day now. In fact, today, we were bringing ourselves to them this afternoon.

"Are you guys ready for some Death Eater fun?" Marlene asked. "We hear that they're mighty pissed after what happened at their headquarters. So this should be fun."

James glanced at me. "Yeah…"

He took my hand for a moment, pulling me to the kitchen door and bowing his head against mine, his voice a hush.

"Do you think you ought to be doing this?" he whispered.

'James…" I said. "I have to."

"You don't _have _to do anything," he said. "I just want to make sure that you're safe… and so is…" His eyes darted down. Hestia and Marlene were trying to pretend that they weren't eavesdropping. I knew they were.

"James…" I said. "I'll be fine. You can't stop me from doing this."  
>"Alice isn't doing anything… but staying here," he said.<p>

"I'm not Alice," I said.

"I'm not saying you are," he said. "But anything could happen. You could fall, you could get cursed… I'm trying to save you pain as well, Lily."

I sighed. "I know you are."

"Please…" he said. "I just don't want you to get hurt…"

"What's the problem over there?" Hestia demanded.

"Nothing," I assured her, putting my hands on James's shoulders.

"Lily…" he said.

"I'll go," I said. "If it looks far too dangerous, I'll go, okay? Without an argument."

"All right…" he said, sighing.

"I'll be fine, James, don't worry,' I said, stretching up to kiss him.

"What's going on?" Marlene wondered.

I glanced at James, but he didn't say anything.

"Nothing," I said.

"Why were you talking about Alice?" Marlene continued.

"No reason, really," I said.

"Oh Merlin!" Marlene screeched.

"What?" I demanded, jumping away in shock.

"Oh _my goodness!" _she continued to freak out.

"Marlene…" I said.

"You're… you are… oh my!" she said, jumping up and down now. "You're _pregnant!"_

"_Marlene!" _I hissed.

"Oh my goodness!" Hestia said, standing up too.

"Who's pregnant?" Padfoot asked, poking his head in through the door.

"Oh now you've done it. Thank you, Marlene," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You're pregnant?" Sirius demanded gaping at me.

I groaned. "Fine. Yes. Fine. James and I are having a baby."

"Congratulations!" Sirius said, hugging both of us. Everyone else, who had overheard at this point, rushed to congratulate us as well.

"When are you due?" Alice asked excitedly.

"End of July," I said. "Just like you.'

She laughed. "Crazy. Have you been keeping it a secret this long?"

"Yes," I said. "I just got worried."

"Understandable," she said. "Frank just has a big mouth."

"Yes I'm surprised James could keep his shut," I said, shaking my head.

'Hey!" James said.

"Well I'm just saying, love," I said, shaking my head.

He grinned and put an arm around me.

"I really hate to break up the congratulations," Alastor said, interrupting us anyway. "But we do have a task to complete today."

James gave me a look.

"I'm not staying behind," I informed him.

"Oh no," Frank said. "Please… don't put any ideas in Alice's head."

"I'm going," I said strictly. "I'm going because I'm in not such a delicate condition that I can't fight for a cause still."

"We don't need you," Alastor said to the two of us. "I was going to ask people to stay behind, and I'm asking you."

I glared at him. "I have not fought my last fight this year, I tell you."

I sunk into a kitchen chair, glaring at all of them. They all disapparated on Alastor's orders after he briefed them. Finally, it was just Astor, Alice and I.

"So," Astor said cheerfully. "Do either of you know what you're having?"

"No," I said. "I can't find out for a month. It's better than muggle technology the wizard's way, but it's not quite precise."

"Obviously, the same goes for me," Alice said.

"I want to know though," I said. "James and I do."

"So do I," Alice said. "I hope it's a girl."

"I want a boy," I said. "I don't know why. I picture him looking a lot like James. Being a lot like James, actually. Brave. Maybe a little obnoxious."

She laughed. "I can see that."

I laughed a little. "Now I'm mad at Alastor though."

"I just gave up when Frank kept begging me to stay behind," Alice said. "It was easier that way."

I grinned. "Ha. I'm waiting for James to do the same thing."

"He'll probably give you what you want," she said, shrugging. "I don't see him not doing it."

"I know," I said. "I can use it to my advantage."

"You two are cruel," Astor said. "They're just worried about you. And your babies."

"I know," Alice said.

"But I don't want to just sit here," I said. "It stresses me out, not being there with him to make sure he isn't getting himself hurt."

"I'm sure he's always thinking about you too," Astor said. "I'm sure."

I just smiled a little, shaking my head.

_Next Chapter: "You could try to be nicer," she said. "He's never done anything to you." _


	56. The Order Fights

**_A/N: I'm almost done! I have one more chapter to write. Part three ended up being about 9 chapters long. Dunno... bad planning on my part... Life for Lily and James is going to start flying by soon. There are 69 chapters total! Yay! Maybe now I'll go read fanfic, which I never do... _**

Chapter 56.

James:

"Christmas shopping!" Lily exclaimed. "The day before Christmas…"

"The best time to do it," I said, gesturing to the crowded streets of Diagon Alley. People were bustling left and right, bumping into others.

"This is when I wish I was more pregnant," she said. "And my stomach would part the seas…"

I laughed. "Well maybe we should buy a ball and stuff it up your shirt. Besides, you look pregnant to me…"

"Lily," a voice sounded from behind us. We both turned quickly, to see Severus Snape stalking up from Knockturn Alley. I instantly put myself in between him and Lily.

"James," she said, digging her hand into my shoulder. "He's not going to do anything."

"I wouldn't hurt her," Snape spat. "How are you, Lily?"

"I'm well," Lily said.

"Married life is… treating you well, I see," he said, and I could see it was difficult for him to talk about. I still wanted to get out of there.

"Yes it is," Lily said. "How did you hear?"

"I just heard it around," he said, shrugging.

"From your master you mean," I said, sneering.

"James…" Lily said. "What are you doing here, Severus?"

"Last minute Christmas shopping," he said, shrugging. "You?"

"Christmas shopping," she said. "And clothes shopping. I need things that will fit better."

"Excuse me?" he said, raising an eyebrow so that it disappeared under his greasy hair. I wanted to pull Lily away so badly, my hand hooking tightly into hers.

"I'm… well… we're expecting," she said, smiling brightly as she did every time she said it.

Snape stared for a moment. His black eyes lit on fire, I could see it, narrowing into slits. He managed a simple "Congratulations."

"Thank you," I said.

He sneered at me. "Good-bye, Lily."

He turned back down the alley and Lily glared at me.

"You could try to be nicer," she said. 'He's never done anything to you."

"He's a Death Eater, Lily!" I said, appalled. That and the fact that he existed, but I knew not to say that to her anymore.

"You don't know that," she snapped.

I sighed. I hadn't wanted to tell her this. I was not a "told you so" sort of person, and I didn't want to hurt her.

"Yes, I do know that," I said.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyes widening.

"He was at the Headquarters," I said. "Simon was telling me… His hood fell off while they were fighting… He was dueling with Hestia, Simon said. He's a Death Eater, Lily. He's fighting with them. For Voldemort."

She stared at me for a moment. "I don't believe you. He wouldn't do that."

"Lily, believe me," I said. "I wouldn't lie to you."

"You think I love him!" she said. "Or you thought I used to. You want to make sure I don't."

Oh Merlin. She was pregnant. I had to remind myself that that was what was making her insane.

"Lily, I really hope you don't think I'm that much of an arsehole," I said. "I love you. You love me. I know that. You picked me."

"It' wasn't even a choice!" she said. "I love you! More than I could ever love anyone else."

"I know that," I said. "Lily, you married me. You are having my baby. And I know that. I tried to keep this from you because I didn't want to hurt you. I know he was your best friend…"

She sighed. "Are you sure? Is Simon sure? It was him?"

"It was him," I said, nodding. "I'm sorry Lily."

"I just thought there might be hope for him…" she said, shaking her head and pressing her face into my chest.

"I know," I said. "There might still be." I stroked her cheek gently and put my arms around her.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you," she said. "I know… I know you wouldn't have just said that because you thought I loved him or something… I don't know. I'm sorry."

"It's all right," I said, kissing her forehead. "Don't worry about it."  
>"I'm so horrible," she said. "I'm sorry. That was horrible of me."<p>

"Lily, come on let's go shopping," I said, taking one of her hands in mine. "Christmas. It's happy."

She sighed. "Yes. Happy."

Then she smiled. "I want some hot chocolate."

"Sounds good to me," I said, turning gently and setting off down the street with her.

It was easy to cheer Lily up. A big steaming mug of hot chocolate and several brown bags full of clothes and Christmas gifts later, she was bubbling and happy again, grinning from ear to ear. She looked beautiful in the nippy December air, her hair billowing about her face, cheeks and nose flushed from the cold. It didn't take much to cheer her up when in the Christmas spirit. After I went to fight with the Order and she didn't go, we decorated our tree together, joking about how bad we were at it, starting just days before Christmas.

Finally, we arrived home, a little chilly, but with our shopping complete, and our cloaks damp at the bottom. I started a fire in the fireplace while Lily got us tea in the kitchen. It was a nice December evening. Perfectly blustery, and yet, perfectly warm inside.

A loud crack emitted outside and the door swung open. Sirius stood there, a wild look in his eyes, hair blown into disarray.

"James, Lily," he said.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, springing up. Lily hurried to rise too.

"There's an attack… at Remus's…" he said. "They think he's spying… They're right, but he's in trouble. Everyone else is on their way over…"

"I'm not staying here," Lily told me before I even asked. "He's my friend too."

-CD-

Lily:

We apparated just outside Remus's house. From inside, jets of light illuminated the windows with different colors.

"Come on!" James shouted, darting up the walk. We followed through the snow behind him, not even noticing the cold.

I shoved past James into the house, meeting firstly with Bellatrix Lestrange, who I knew from her relations to Sirius. She caught me in a duel before I could get any deeper into the house.

"Oh look, it's the pretty little Evans girl," she said. "Or Potter, so I hear…"

She smirked at me, her heavily lidded eyes alight at the concept of a duel.

"Delicate little flower," she said. "Lily." She sneered, a grin lighting up her face as I blocked her jet of light easily.

"I used to pop the heads off of lilies as a child," she said thoughtfully, shooting a jet of green light at me. I dodged it, and hopped to the side, hitting her with a curse that sucked her very air out of her mouth. She gasped for a moment, spluttering to regain her breath as I shot another spell at her.

It was common sense that poking a snake would only get it angry. She shot her worst then, cruciatus curses, left and right. She didn't want to kill me anymore. She wanted to torture me first. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James dueling, coincidentally with her husband. But I couldn't let myself be distracted. Those sort of mistakes could be fatal.

Marlene pushed past me, jostling Bellatrix, who turned to shoot a curse at her in anger, giving me good access to aim another spell at her. She took my stunner hard, falling over flat. I rushed off to help Alice who was battling a particularly angry cloaked Death Eater, who was unidentifiable.

"Did you get her?" she asked, panting.

"Well she's just stunned," I said. "But everyone's too occupied to bring her back around." I shot a spell at the Death Eater, but was instantly sidetracked by one of his comrades who came to aid him. I nearly tripped poor Peter as I ducked a stunner and a killing curse gone astray from someone on the other side of the room.

James and I actually bumped into each other, and were dueling back to back.

"You all right love?" he asked.

"I'm wonderful," I said. "Just a little busy, you know."

"All in a day's work," he said, somehow managing to shrink his Death Eater down to the size of a small Barbie doll and seize his still full size wand, which he pocketed quickly. One of the Death Eater's friends came very near to stepping on him. He shrieked and ran for cover.

"I don't even know the reverse for that one," James mused as I whisked past him. "He's going to need Mungo's for that…'

I laughed and turned just in time to block a Death Eater who was aiming a curse at him.

"Watch your back please," I said, shaking my head.

We ended up dueling side by side, almost in perfect synchronization. It was an interesting grouping, but we managed it so that we were dueling almost back against the wall. As much as this was almost a bad thing, it had its pluses. It meant that no one could surprise us from behind.

"Have you even seen Remus?" I asked.

"No," he said, "You?"

"No," I said.

"Why are we having a conversation while dueling?" he asked, almost laughing.

"They all must think we're insane," I said.

"We are insane," he said. "That's the best part."

We continued our dueling, somehow pushing the Death Eaters to the center of the room. It was almost sensory overload. Bodies brushed against bodies, people running and shoving into each other, bumping arms and jostling wands. Jets of brightly colored light passed by faces, coming within inches of your nose, a filling the air with a blinding and dizzying scene. And then the noise. People were shouting curses if they couldn't bear to keep themselves quiet, or were accidently shatter the glass on the few dim portraits Remus had hanging on his walls. Someone managed to split his sofa completely in two, a resounding crunch of a crack that echoed throughout the entire sitting room, almost bringing the entire battle to a halt.

Remus himself was nowhere to be seen. His apparent absence was, for me, a cause of worry. I knew the full moon had been on the third and wasn't coming around again until the second, but I feared for him because a pack of angry werewolves who just discovered he was pilfering their secrets was probably out to get him, not to mention the Death Eaters who were the true holders of those secrets.

I knew there had been no Dark Mark above the house, up in the pitch black sky, when we arrived, but that didn't mean that there wasn't one now. Where my doom and gloom attitude had come from, I wasn't quite sure. But it had come, certainly, and I was afraid for one of my oldest and dearest friends. Occasionally James would meet my gaze, or Marlene or Sirius, and they all were wondering the same thing. Where was our wonderful werewolf friend?

The answer was not far off. What could've been minutes into the fight, or maybe hours, there was a resounding shout from above. Remus fell, body spread-eagled, over the banister from the top floor, apparently unconscious, possibly dead.

"No!" I shouted, lunging forward.

James beat me to it, cushioning his fall with a wave of his wand.

The moment of panic, of James, Sirius, Marlene and I all running forward, abandoning our positions, at once, was perhaps the most unintelligent move of the night. As soon as I had moved three steps to reach for Remus and check to make sure he was all right, a pair of rough hands grabbed me by the upper arm. I was just about to turn around and hex them when I felt as if I was being pushed through a straw, my feet were no longer on the floor in Remus's house.

_Next Chapter: "Kill me," I said. _


	57. Thrice

**_A/N: Double post day! I just finished writing this fanfic! It's 69 chapters long, plus one 1,000 word epilogue from the point of view of one of our other characters. So from September 1, 1977 to October 31, 1981, is this wonderful fic. I hope you enjoy the next 12 chapters and the epilogue! _**

Chapter 57

Lily:

James and Sirius appeared next to me, already fighting with the Death Eaters who had taken their wands. James was the only one who actually looked confident in his abilities. I wondered if that should put me off and decided that I probably ought to focus on matters at hand. Sirius was punching and kicking in such a violent manner I would've sworn he'd never learned to duel magically. With another crack a Death Eater who had a hold on Marlene was getting their ear sworn off as she proceeded to bite them on the arm.

I turned quickly and stomped on the foot of my captor, ripping at his mask to get better access to his face. It was hopeless for me without a wand. I had never been much of a physical fighter. The Death Eater pushed me to the ground so I fell with a thump on my arse.

"Lily!" James shouted.

"I'm fine," I said, aiming a kick at the groin of the Death Eater. He nearly caught my foot but I collided too hard. Which actually just made him angry. He slashed through the air with his wand, and I rolled and hopped up just in time for a slash to appear in the ground where I was.

I had a space of three seconds to determine where I was. We had been grabbed and apparated to a large open field, with tall grass and ugly wildflowers. It was dark here, and the stars glittered above, but were anything but beautiful. In the distance, a tall English farm house sat, rising up from the dark like a dilapidated beast. Inside, lights glimmered on the first floor. To the left of the house was a massive expanse of forest, with dark tall trees that didn't have gap between them, or so it appeared from where we were.

Another curse narrowly missed my shoulder. On my other side, Marlene was kicking her Death Eater, who was mostly humoring her, apparently made of stone.

Next to me there was a flash of blue light. The Death Eater James was fighting was flat on his back and James had proceeded to take his own wand, and the wand of that Death Eater back. He tossed one to Sirius and one other wand, which I realized had to be the wand he'd taken from the Death Eater back at Remus's, to me, taking his own wand for himself, before going to help Marlene.

The Death Eater who was charged with me was a little shocked. It gave me a good opportunity to duel him, and quickly overpower him. I took his wand too.

"Run, Lily!" James shouted at me, finally stunning the big Death Eater. The four of pelted toward the woods, instinct telling us to go for cover.

"How did you do that?" Sirius demanded.

"I stole a wand from a Death Eater back at Moony's. They assumed I'd only have one on me, the one I was dueling with," James explained, grabbing my hand. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said. "The grass was soft."

"But…" he said, stopping for a moment.

"James, let's just keep going,' I said.

"When you get to the woods, apparate," James instructed. I wondered how he became the leader of our quartet. But then I realized that I didn't care. He always had good ideas in times like this. Sirius and Marlene reached the woods before we did, because James had stopped briefly to make sure I was okay. They disappeared with a crack and James and I darted after them.

Before we reached the edge of the wood, a cloaked figure stepped out from behind one of the taller trees, tall, thin, with long fingers clutching a ghostly wand.

"Lily, James," Voldemort said coolly, dropping his hood. James and I practically skidded to a halt, with no chance to apparate.

"I thought I would deal with your little friends…" he said. "But that would give you time to apparate, and well… I'm more concerned with the two of you."

"We wouldn't apparate and abandon them," James growled.

'Then you are foolish," Voldemort replied, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe James could be so naïve. "It's interesting that we should come across you."

"How about we save you the trouble of asking," I said. "We will _not_ join your side."

"Dear Lily," he said, shaking his head as if I was stupid now too. "I'm not going to ask you to join the Death Eaters anymore."

I exchanged a look with James.

-CD-

James:

"What then?" I demanded.

"I'm going to kill you," Voldemort said. "I've met others like you: strong, powerful, talented. Young. Arrogant, perhaps. Not as afraid as you should be. But sadly, you are the sort that gives me the most trouble. It's not the old aurors, though they are certainly something to worry about. But it is the young, brought up on one strong idea, hearts filled with far too much passion, that are the greatest threats."

I glanced at Lily. We'd gotten away from him twice before. But it was Voldemort. He didn't make the same mistakes over again. Our chances this time were slim. I looked at her, standing tall, defiant. I could see from here, as she stood unwaveringly in the snow, she did look pregnant, if ever so slightly. I cringed at the thought of her dead, of our child dead.

"Kill me," I said.

Voldemort, had he had eyebrows, would've raised them. Lily whipped her head around to look at me, her expression incredulous.

"Kill me, but please," I said. "Don't kill her. Just let her live. If she promises… promises to stop fighting… just kill me, not her. Let her go. Please."

"James…" Lily said.

"How very noble of you," Voldemort sneered, laughing a little. "How very noble indeed. I suppose we can change this however. I was going to make you watch your wife die, but I am a merciful lord. I will kill you first Mr. Potter, and maybe you can die with the hope that I might choose to save the life of your beautiful wife."

"James!" Lily said. I could see her not only getting scared, but getting angry at me. I sighed, hoping she was coming up with some sort of a plan faster than I was, because my brain stopped functioning. I just had to give her every chance. I knew only that.

"Just give me a moment," I said to Voldemort, walking over to her. I took both of her hands in mine.

"What are you _doing?" _she demanded.

"You need every chance you can get," I said. "I don't see us getting out of this one."

She glared at me. "When I say that I love you… you need to start running. But don't turn your back. If we get separated, I will see you at headquarters."

She said this while making to kiss by my ear. Her voice was barely audible to me. She kissed me quickly on the lips.

"I love you both," I told her.

She managed a smile at that. "I love _you."_

I wasn't sure where we were running, but we took off. I went in one direction and she went in the other. Jets of light struck the trees next to me, solid green, other curses. I slammed across the snow and dirt of the forest floor, ducking behind trees to avoid the spells. Voldemort was in pursuit of me. I hoped Lily had a chance to apparate. If I had to duel him one on one… well I'd probably not survive, but at least I would have the comfort of knowing she was safe.

"Is she pregnant, James?" Voldemort's voice called after me. "That little mudblood… It's probably not even yours."

I rolled my eyes, still running but casting a spell to silence my feet.

"You can't trust mudbloods, James," he said. He was trying to turn me against her. It wasn't going to happen. "Too bad her scum of a child will have to grow up without a father."

I snorted to myself this time, trying to keep myself quiet. I kept running forward. The spells shot after me ceased. I stopped for a moment, leaning against a tall, cold pine, catching my breath, gaining my bearings.

As if falling from the sky, Voldemort appeared in front of me, wand raised in front of him.

"I believe this is some old muggle saying," he said, sneering at the word muggle. "You can run. But you can't hide. Not from Lord Voldemort."

I raised my wand too, leveling my gaze with his.

"We bow," he said.

"Let's skip the formalities, shall we?" I said, deciding instead to cast one of my more powerful curses. He waved his wand and sent the curse instead into the side of a nearby tree, which proceeded to collapse sideways. He cast his own spell at me, and I put up my strongest shield. The curse bounced off it, directly back at him. He waved his wand, and the spell seemed to dissolve in midair.

I wasn't sure how he got me the Cruciatus Curse, but he did. I fell to the floor of the forest, but it didn't feel hard or cold. The pain of the curse was stronger than anything else. Maybe I was screaming, or yelling. I wasn't even certain.

He let me up after a moment.

"You took that well," he said. "Not a word out of your mouth. Much better than some of the best aurors."

I stood up quickly, raising my wand again.

"Surrender now, or I fear I will have to do that again," he said.

"Surrender so you can kill me?" I said, waving my wand through the air. He deflected my spell easily. Behind him, I saw a flash of dark red in the night. Just as Voldemort raised his wand again, his arm was jerked upwards. Lily was behind him.

Voldemort whirled and started in on her, but before he could hex her, I was between them.

"Apparate," I hissed at her.

"Not without you," she muttered.

"I'll be fine," I said. "Just go."

Voldemort made to hex her as she disappeared, but I blocked his spell, the force of which, when it collided with my shield, thrust me hard against the nearest tree. I saw blurry dots for a moment, but I quickly regained composure, wand aloft, and shot another spell at Voldemort.

"The game is up, Potter," he said, shaking his head.

"The game has just begun," I said, the same dark wall that I had created in my parents' house almost a year before sprung up between us. I turned on my heel and disapparated.

Lily was standing, knee deep in snow in the front yard of Astor's house. She threw her arms around me when she saw me, and I hugged her close.

"Oh my god…" she said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said. "I'm fine. Are you okay?"

"I'm find now that I know you're fine," she said.

"We need to go to St. Mungo's," I said.

"Why?" she demanded. "Are you hurt?"

"No," I said. "I want to make sure that you're okay. That the baby's okay. With the stress… with the fight…"

"James…" she said. "We can go in the morning."

I hugged her closer to me. "We can't…"

"Let's go inside to make sure everyone's okay first," she said, soothing me gently.

I nodded and she pulled me toward the house.

"Wait…" she said, stopping. She turned to me, looking at me strictly. "James, you can't offer yourself to keep me alive."

"Why not?" I demanded. "I would do it again. Just like that."

"Because… I can't bear the thought of you dying…" she said.

"Lily," I said. "I would do it again. Because the thought of you dead is many times more terrifying than the thought of dying myself."

"You don't understand…" she said. "I would die for you in a heartbeat…"

"But you need to live," I said. "It's not just for you anymore… It's for the baby too…"

"How about no one dies?" she offered.

"Sounds good to me," I said, grinning. "Come on, let's make sure Remus is okay."

We pushed the door open and immediately, Marlene and Sirius were upon us.

"Are you okay?" Marlene demanded, practically shaking Lily.

"When you didn't follow us, we didn't know what to think," Padfoot said. "Did the Death Eaters get you?"

"No," I said. "Voldemort. He was a good five feet away from you when you disapparated."

"Why didn't he kill us?" he asked.

"Because he hates Lily and I much more than I think he could ever hate you," I said, shaking my head. "Is Moony okay?"

"He's fine," Marlene said. "He was just stunned."

"And everyone else?" Lily asked.

"Everyone made it out fine," Padfoot assured us.

"Thank Merlin," Lily said, leaning against me.

"Honestly, we were only waiting on you, to make sure you two were okay," Marlene said. "And you are. Thank Merlin"

_Next Chapter: It is a chapter made up of a bunch of drabbles. _


	58. The Mythical Glow

**_A/N: This is a chapter that is sort of drabble-y. It's a bunch of little sections all pasted together, pretty fluffy... yeah. _**

Chapter 58.

Lily:

He brushed his hand over my cheek, fingers across my cheekbones, trailing the fingertip gently.

"Morning," he whispered as my eyelids fluttered.

"Morning," I replied, reaching up to put my arms around his neck.

He lifted me up, laughing a little.

"You coming to headquarters today?" he asked, pulling me into his lap.

"I suppose yes," I said. "I can sit with Astor and Alice all day again.

"And me," he replied. "We haven't been told if we're doing anything yet."

I sighed. "I miss it already."

"It's only been since Christmas," he said, kissing my cheek. "By August you'll be back out fighting, love."

I'd been warned, when we went into St. Mungo's to make sure that everything was okay, that too much stress or strenuous activity, would be bad for the baby. And that meant no more jobs for the Order. Though I told James he ought to be sitting around too, because there was no way that him being out there while I was alone was going to cause me any less stress. He just grinned at that. I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean.

"Just let me shower," I said. "I'll come along with you."

-CD-

Lily:

I walked into St. Mungo's with James holding my hand, of course. I wondered if there had been a time since Christmas where we hadn't been touching. After a day of hanging around Headquarters, waiting for something to happen, we finally had the appointment with our healer that would reveal to us the sex of our baby. I was excited. I never wanted a surprise. I knew if the knowledge was accessible, I had to know it, and that was that.

We took the lift up to the appropriate floor, to the maternity hospital, which had some long unpronounceable name, and everyone just called it Mungo's anyway. Our healer was already waiting for us when we arrived, and we were ushered back into an exam room.

"So today's the day," Healer Cross said, beaming. She was a middle-aged witch, older than I was, but still younger than my mother. I thought she was about Hestia's age, personally. She had a round face which added to her youth, but a few laugh lines creased the skin around her baby blue eyes. A tangle of vibrant orange hair was knotted on top of her head, with the loose ends pinned in, probably by magic.

"Yes it is," I said, getting comfortable, or more like uncomfortable, on the exam table.

She smiled brightly and positioned herself on the same stool she occupied every time we came in, and James took my hand, already impatient, as always. Healer Cross talked, mostly to herself, and then would provide the real and actually important details to us when she was finished. She would do an exam, and manage to draw forth an image of all that was going on in my uterus with her wand. She showed the moving image to us, the heartbeat and the fact that resemblance was finally less like an alien and more like a human.

"Well," she said. "Looks like the baby is very healthy. Very healthy indeed."

"And?" I prompted, starting to get very excited.

"It's a boy," she said, beaming.

"Ah boy?" I said, clapping my hands together. "Oh my god… James…"

He laughed and squeezed my hand, putting his forehead against mine.

"A boy," he said. "Good. I wanted a boy. I mean, I would've been happy with a girl… but…"

"I know, it's perfect," I said, laughing too. He leaned down and kissed me quickly—or not so quickly, but we weren't really counting.

I didn't realize I was crying until James started to wipe the tears off of my cheek.

"Lily…" he said.

"I'm so happy," I said, laughing a little at my insanity.

"I'll give you two a minute," Healer Cross said, ducking out of the room.

"A boy!" I said. James put his hand on my stomach, grinning.

"What do we name him?" he asked.

"Oh no…" I said. "The next great challenge…"

-CD-

Lily:

"I heard if you play them classical music, they're much smarter," he said, rubbing his hands across my stomach.

"Must've been what your mum did with you," I said, smiling gently and taking his hand in mine.

"Classical music for our genius," he said. "He's going to have your brains."

"Bless him if he does," I said. "I think he'll be like you. He'll have the intelligence, but maybe not the motivation. Or maybe he'll be rubbish at school work, and find his true calling lies elsewhere."

"Like on the Quidditch pitch!" he said excitedly. "I can see it now. Potter, a chaser on the English National team…"

"Oh bloody hell," I said, laughing.

"What's so bad about Quidditch players, eh?" he wondered, kissing my hand.

"Nothing," I said. "He can grow up to be anything he wants to be, as long as he's a decent person."

"I think we'll have no problem with that," he said, kissing my forehead.

"So yea or nay to the classical music?" I asked.

"Nay," he said. "I never did care for Mozart."

I laughed and stretched up to kiss him on the lips.

-CD-

James:

I took her feet in my lap, rubbing them through the blanket.

"Are you warm?" I asked her.

"I'm perfect," she said, her bare arms sticking out over the blanket, sweat on her neck and shoulders, her hair a mess.

"You know," I said. "Sex when you're pregnant's pretty good."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," she said, shaking her head and laughing.

"Didn't you?" I wondered.

"James, I think that was the best sex we've ever had," she said, leaning against my shoulder and kissing it gently. She rested her head, closing her eyes.

"Really?" I said.

"I wouldn't lie to you love," she said. "I love you too much."

"Well I suppose I'll just have to believe you," I said, sliding an arm around her.

"Believe me," she said, sighing gently against my skin.

"I love you, I love you," I said, stroking her hair. She smiled again, gently, relaxing and molding herself to the curve of my body."

"I love you too," she whispered, starting to drift.

"Go to sleep, love," I said gently, kissing her cheek bone and waving my wand to turn off the lights.

-CD-

James:

"I hate shopping," I complained, ducking against the wind of late January.

"I do too," she said.

"No you don't," I said. "You're lying."

"Well," she said. "I thought you'd feel better if you were among someone with the same beliefs. I'm sorry, James, but we have to shop or our baby will have no clothes."

"I don't see why he can't just go around starkers," I said. "I think it's a good statement."

"You try explaining that one to the rest of the world," she said. "'Oh why doesn't your son wear clothes?' 'Well, I was too much of a stereotypical male to shop for him.'"

I laughed. "Stereotypical male?"

"Don't worry," she said. "It's a good thing that you're manly."

"Oh," I said, stopping for a moment. "Okay."

She grinned, shaking her head. She was starting to look pregnant now, three months, big enough bump, and that glow that I always thought was mythical.

I held open the door to another shop, and she pushed her way inside, shaking the freshly fallen snowflakes out of her hair. We'd exhausted the wizard shops and had moved into muggle territory, picking through onesies and bibs and clothes from newborn to two years old. I didn't bother questioning why we were shopping so far in advance. We just were. And I took that for what it was.

"What do you think?" she teased, holding up a shirt that said "I love my Daddy' on it.

"I think 'I Love My Mummy' is more appropriate, Mum," he said, laughing at me.

She put the shirt back down. "How about we just go home? My back is hurting. I'm going to be a miserable pregnant woman. I'll just warn you now. You've got six more months of fun Lily."

"I'll just remind myself that the hormones are screwing with your brain," I said. "Let's go home then, love, if you want to."

"I do," she said, yawning. "I need a nap."

We walked right back out of the shop, chuckling with each other.

-CD-

James:

"How are things on the home front?' Padfoot asked, raising his muggle beer to me.

"Quite good," I said, raising mine in turn. Despite it being bad manners, we clinked our bottles together, and each took a swig, grinning.

"So she's doing all right?" he said.

"Yep," I said. "And the baby. He's doing well."

"Picked any good names yet?" he asked.

"Not quite," I said. "She has a list a mile long and I think even she hates most of them."

"I'm sure you'll come across a decent one soon enough," he said.

"Or maybe we'll just name him Sirius," I said.

"I would be honored," he said. "But no. It's not really that great of name to have."

"We wouldn't anyway, I was just kidding," I said. "However, we do have a question for you. And we know it's really early to ask such things, but would you be the godfather? I think he needs a good guiding hand. Lily would kill me if I tried to get him into trouble… so that's where you come in. You'll be the good uncle sort of a guy who he likes more than us when he's a teenager…"

"Now that," he said, nodding and tipping his beer bottle toward me. "That I would be honored to do'

"Good," I said. "The job's yours then."

"Glad to take it," he said.

-CD-

James:

"Look at that up there," she said.

"What am I supposed to be seeing?" I asked. I followed her finger to the sky, which was scattered with glittering stars. The two of us stood on the back patio, staring up at the sky. She was bundled up for winter, and so was I, but not as much. She said she just wanted to breathe the nice night air. Winter evenings had the best freshness to them. All evenings did… but the coolness and clarity of the winter was the best.

"Did you actually take astronomy?" she wondered.

"I slept through most of that class…" I admitted.

"And you passed your O.W.L how?" she asked.

"I got an A," I said. "It wasn't exactly flying colors."

"But pretty good if you napped through it," she said. "I'm pointing to… Cassiopeia."

"Why?" I wondered.

"Because it's pretty," she said.

"It all looks like stars to me," I said.

"That's because it is," she said. "And stars are pretty."

"Is that really Cassiopeia?' I wondered.

"I have no idea," she said, shaking her head.

"Did you sleep during Astronomy?" I asked.

"Well I wasn't fully there, I suppose you could say," she said. "But I was pretty good at figuring it out eventually."

"Eventually," I said, putting an arm around her.

She grinned a little. "It took me a while, mind you. A lot of careful studying. But who really cares which star is where? The important thing is, they're pretty."

I laughed and she couldn't help but chuckle a little herself.

_Next Chapter: "The sooner we can do this, the safer you will be." _


	59. He Approaches

**_A/N: Despite still updating, I always feel so far away from the fanfic world when I finish a fic. _**

Chapter 59.

Lily:

It was February 16, 1980.

James and I walked up the steps to Astor's house, hand in hand, as usual. We were always hand in hand. The house was alive with a bustle of people, including our pointed hatted leader, Albus Dumbledore. He sat on the couch in the sitting room with a steaming cup of tea, having what was clearly an important and in depth conversation with Sirius and Alastor. The three of them looked up as we entered, and Sirius frowned instantly. Alastor shook his head, and Dumbledore turned.

"Lily, James," he said. "How are you?'

"We're wonderful," I said, even though I knew James and I had both noticed the strange looks.

"And the baby?" Dumbledore asked cordially.

"He's wonderful as well," I said, smiling gently.

"I need to talk to the both of you," Dumbledore said. "If you would be so kind as to come upstairs with me."

I exchanged a glance with James, who then turned to look at Sirius.

"What's going on?" he demanded of his best mate.

"Just go with him," Sirius said, frowning some more. He shook his head, and I heard him swear under his breath.

James squeezed my hand, and we followed Dumbledore up the stairs, into the empty spare bedroom.

He conjured up a chair for himself, leaving the bed for James and I to sit on.

"I have some very heavy news for the two of you," Dumbledore said, clearing his throat. "This is going to be difficult for both of you to hear."

I exchanged another look with James, and he put his arm around me.

"We can handle it," I said.

"I believe… that you are the target of Lord Voldemort. I know you know that he has anger toward you, but this is different. The next job for his Death Eaters is to find you, and to kill you both. Particularly your son."

"What?" I demanded, my hand moving protectively toward my stomach. "I don't understand…" James tightened his arm around me and quieted me.

"Why do you think this?" he asked, his voice very quiet.

"There was a prophecy," Dumbledore explained, shaking his head.

"A prophecy?" I interrupted. "Divination tosh?"

"It's not tosh, Lily," Dumbledore said gravely. "Not always. This was a true prophecy, speaking of a child. I heard of it just weeks ago, and I can remember it. 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born to parents who have thrice defied him. Born as the seventh month dies.' This child will supposedly have powers the Dark Lord himself can not even understand, but the child will be his equal, and one of them must kill the other. 'Neither can live while the other survives.'"

"So let me get this straight," James said. "According to this Prophecy our son has to be the one to kill Voldemort? Or Voldemort's going to kill him…?"

"Let me continue, James," Dumbledore said, shaking his head. "The prophecy could pertain to two boys. You have defied Voldemort three times. Your son is to be born at the end of July. Another child is due in July, another pair of parents who have three times defied Voldemort. Alice and Frank Longbottom."

"So it could be their son!" James said. "We might not be in any bit of danger."

"I fear that that is not the case," Dumbledore said, the grave tone not vanishing in the wake of the hopeful one of James. "I have it on a very reliable source that Voldemort has chosen you. He believes it is your son."

"What source is this?" James growled.

"I assure you. It is reliable," Dumbledore said, shaking his head. "I will not say more."

"But how does this source know…?" I wondered.

"Not even that matters," Dumbledore said with an air of finality that closed the subject. "The matter is, James, Lily, you are both in very real danger. And so is your son. Particularly your son, but as you would do anything, I know, to protect him, even now, long before his birth, that places you in danger. Voldemort will not be deterred. This seems to him to be the first very real threat of his life… And he is frightened."

"So what are we supposed to do?" James asked, putting his head in his hands. "Go into hiding? What until he's old enough to fight Voldemort himself."

"On the contrary," Dumbledore said. "You must go into hiding until Voldemort is dead."

"But the prophecy said our son has to kill him…" James said.

"James, most of the prophecies in this world do not come true. Half of those that do come true because people hear them, think their fate is set, and then live their lives in accordance to the prophecy so that there is no hope but for it to come true. Voldemort is in the last group. He believes that his future is set, that your son's future is set. I feel that if we can act efficiently, keep you safe, keep your son safe, then things will be different. It does not have to come true. Someone else can kill Voldemort before you son is even five. And that is, in fact, our hope."

"So we have to go into hiding?" I said.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "I think having a secret keeper with the fidelius charm is the safest choice."

"But what exactly does the rest of it entail?" I wondered. "Not leaving the house? Staying shut up for that long?"

Dumbledore sighed. "We will have to figure it out. It means leaving the house for a little as possible…"

I looked at James. "You can't do that. James, you'll go insane."

"Lily…" he said, touching my cheek. "If it keeps you safe, if it keeps our son safe, I could do anything. It could be months, or I could wait there for twenty years. I can't risk… it's not worth it."

He put his arms around me.

"The Order will help keep you safe," Dumbledore said. "But we need to get protection on your house as soon as possible. Choose your Secret Keeper wisely."

"Sirius," James said at once, and I nodded.

"Perfect," I said.

"A loyal friend," Dumbledore said. "A good choice. I know he will rise to the occasion. Let us go now, shall we? The sooner we can do this, the safer you will all be."

"We need to make sure he will be okay with it…" James said as we stood. We started down the stairs. Sirius was still on the sitting room couch, alone now.

"Padfoot," James said, sitting next to him. "Will you do something for us?"

"Yes," he said. "Mate… I'm sorry this happened."

"Let's not touch on that now," James said, patting the sofa next to him for me. I settled next to him. "Sirius, will you be our secret keeper?"

"Yes," he said instantly. "Whatever you need me to do for you guys…"

"Wait," I said. "You need to know… Sirius… you could get hurt doing this. If the other side finds out that you're our Secret Keeper, Voldemort will go after you… they would torture you to find out where we are."

He shook his head, reaching across James pat my hand soothingly. "I know, Lily. But there's no reason for them to find out… and if they do, I'll go into hiding with you! That will be fun. We could all live together in Godric's Hollow… but if they do try to torture me, Lily, well I wouldn't say anything. I would die first. I would die before I betrayed either of you. I promise you. I am more than willing to do this. James is my best mate… and well you, Evans… you're not that bad either."

"Evans," I scoffed.

"Well you know what I mean," he said. "I would do anything for you two."

"Thank you," James said, leaning back against the couch, sighing. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"It'll be okay," I told him.

-CD-

James:

I closed the door behind Padfoot as he left our house. I locked it and turned around. Lily sat on the couch in the living room, rubbing her stomach, leaning back with eyes closed.

I sighed and walked over to sit next to her, putting one arm around her, the other hand on her stomach.

"This is…" she said. "Surreal."

"It hasn't really sunk in," I said, shaking my head and kissing her on the cheek. She sighed, leaning against my side.

"No it hasn't," she said.

"We'll be okay," I said.

"I just… I don't…" she said.

"I know," I said.

"I don't understand," she said.

"I don't either," I said, stroking her hair. "We'll be okay, love."

"You're going to go insane," she said. "I think I'm going to go crazy, but you're going to go _insane."_

"He said we can't leave often," I said. "But he didn't say we couldn't ever leave."

"James, we can't very well even go into Diagon Alley because we could be killed by a Death Eater right there," she said, shaking her head. "Healer Cross is going to have to come here…"

"But I have my cloak," I said. "I can go out sometimes."

"Yes, but you better not be stupid," she warned me.

"Lily, I won't be stupid," he said. "I promise."

At this moment, she was the target. She was carrying our son, who was apparently some sort of challenger to Voldemort. Which meant they would try to kill her. I had to keep her safe. And then… when our son was born, we would do everything to protect him. I knew that.

:You can't tell me this isn't going to kill you," she said, sitting up and looking at me. "James, you aren't the sort of person who can sit still. You're going to be bored in an instant. You need your adventure. That's why you're a perfect member of the Order… You need your fun, your adrenalin. You're not going to get that sitting here with me for days on end as we play cards and watch Muggle sitcoms for fun."

"I'm not saying it sounds fun," I said. "But It's to protect you and to protect our son, and I will do it. If it means we have to have sex a lot, then so be it!"

She laughed, but it was half-hearted. "Voldemort is not going to die tomorrow. We're not going to get up and walk out of here today. And meanwhile, he's doing everything he can to find _us. _We're stuck here. It could be ten years, James."

"It's not going to be ten years," I said. "I have more faith in the Order."

"James," she said, shaking her head.

"Stop worrying about me, Lily," I said. "Please. I will be fine. You just worry about keeping yourself stress free, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay, okay… Stress free. Oh that's going to go well…"

I laughed a little at that. "How about some dinner. What would you like?"

It had taken a lot of work for Lily to get me to a moderately acceptable cook. I could make an array of three things that actually tasted decent, and ten things that were… a little interesting.

"Let's have… baked chicken and mashed potatoes," Lily said, listing one of the meals I was good at.

"All right," I said. "I'll get right on that. You just… stop being stressed. That's what you can do."

"Stop being stressed," she said, swinging her feet up and sitting comfortably on the sofa. I looked at her face, and I knew that she wasn't going to be unstressed for a long time.

-End Part Two-

_Next Chapter: "How did the name Harry end up on that list again?" _


	60. A Name

**_A/N: This is a much shorter chapter than usual. I just had a very hard time writing it for some reason, so I apologize for it's shortness. _**

Part Three:

Chapter 60.

Lily:

"It's warm," I informed him.

"Yes, I know," he said, looking across the kitchen table at me. He laughed after a moment, because I was fanning myself with the Daily Prophet.

"It shouldn't be this damn warm in May," I said.

"It's almost June," he informed me.

I looked at the Calendar. "Thank Merlin. Just two more months. And then this little kicker will actually be a tangible baby who will, I believe, be worth it. Worth the sweltering heat and the regular bathroom breaks."

"You love him already, don't deny it, Lily," he said, grinning.

"Oh I'm not saying I don't love him," I said. "I'm just wishing he would take his heel out of my ribcage."

I ran my hand over my stomach, feeling the bumps where he was choosing to stick out his feet for the day.

"We need to settle on a name," I declared.

"What do we have it down to?" he said.

I pulled my list out of the pocket of my expanding jeans. "We have of course, our father's names, Henry and Edward. We have Andrew, Christopher, Harry, William and Michael."

"How did Harry end up on that list again?" he asked.

"You put it there," I said. "And I liked it. You were talking about this semi-famous wizard who saved a town from a ghoul attack, and his name was Harold Jenkins, and I said that that was a horrible name, and you said you didn't mind Harold if it was shortened to Harry. I said why bother having the long name at all then. Remember?"

"Oh yes," he said, contemplating. We'd taken to telling each other a lot of stories to occupy our free time.

"I still like it,' I said.

"I do too," he said. "Take Michael off that list."

"I was waiting for you to say that," I said, taking the quill from the counter and scratching out the name.

He smiled at me. "Which one do you like?"

"I don't like Andrew," I said, crossing it off the list. "Andrew Potter?"

"Agreed," he said. "Did you know that Harry is actually a nickname for Henry? We'd actually sort of be naming him after your father."

"Okay so Henry Potter, Edward Potter, Christopher Potter—ew. That sounds horrible. Chris Potter?" I crossed that one off too, and he laughed. "Harry Potter or William Potter. Will Potter."

I looked at him, thoughtful.

"Which one sounded best to you?" I asked.

"Which did you like?" he countered.

"I don't want to say," I said. "That's why I asked you first."

He sighed, grinning a little. "I liked Harry."

"Me too," I said.

"Really?" he said, laughing. "I never thought… but I really do like it."

"I do too," I said. "Harry Potter."

"It has a good ring to it," he said.

"Harry James Potter," I said.

"James?" he questioned.

"Of course," I said. "I think that's appropriate."

He just shook his head. "Harry James Potter. It sounds good."

"It sounds wonderful," I said, rubbing my stomach happily. The baby kicked inside my stomach and I laughed, shaking my head.

"He seems to like it," I said.

"Well that's good," James said, getting up ad walking around the table. He knelt next to my chair and put his hands on my stomach through my loose blouse top.

"Is he kicking?" he asked, grinning a little.

"Yes is," I said, putting my hand over his.

"I think he wants out," he replied.

"I want him out," I said. "I won't say I'm miserable, but I think I'm going to enjoy him a lot more when I can hold him and play with him. He's going to be the cutest baby ever. I hope he looks like you."

"We'll just have to see," he said, smiling up at me.

-CD-

James:

"Have you gone loony yet?" Padfoot asked.

"Close," I admitted, rubbing my temples. "And we've only been here since February. And it's not even June."

"I'm sorry, mate," he said, shaking his head.

"So how is life in the real world, where people talk to other people and actually go out in public?" I wondered, stirring the stew I was making for dinner from afar. Lily was upstairs sleeping, feeling a little exhausted and, as she put it, like a big dirigible.

"It's not bad," he said. "Kind of dull, however."

"I doubt it is anywhere near as dull as this is," I replied, gesturing around my room. "Lily and I, thankfully, don't get sick of each other's company, and we don't fight, even when confined alone with only each other to talk to—at least not yet… But I'm getting bored. There's only so much to do in a little house, all alone. Because if we step outside, there are Death Eaters and they will attempt to kill us."

"Exactly," he said. "And I know they're watching this area too. Which leads me to my next question—can I borrow your cloak? I need it for my visits, because if they keep seeing me around here… well they know I'm your friend…" He trailed off for a moment. "Maybe it's better if I just stay away."

"Merlin, you can't do that!" I said. "I live for visits from all of you. You can borrow my cloak. It'll be fine."

He grinned. "All right. I'll send them all along at some point then. And as for the cloak, I'll also come as a dog from time to time at this point… it's just easier. So if you see the dog, well you know what I look like as a dog."  
>I sighed. "I'm so… well I'm going off the deep end already. I think it'll be better when our son is born, because he'll be a lot of excitement and entertainment… but until then… well Lily and I are running out of things to do."<p>

"How about each other?" he offered.

"Actually…" I said, laughing. "You have no idea how good this being in hiding has been for that particular aspect of our relationship."

"I can imagine," he said, laughing too. "Bet you must get bored a lot."

"So bored we've had to come up with new… Thank Merlin she's upstairs, she would kill me if she heard me saying _any _of this."

"You have to say it," he said. "It's a guy thing. I'll back you up."

"Oh she would love that," I said.

"I think Moony is going to ask Marlene to marry him," he said.

"Oh?" I said. "That will be weird. What about all of those rants he's gone on for the past… Merlin knows how many years… where he complains about how he can never have kids, because they'll probably all be like him…" I rolled my eyes.

"I think he loves her enough…" he said. "I know they're already doing married people things. He finally cracked and shared with me . As if we had any doubt before anyway. They've been together since school… I'm sure it's going to get interesting, though. They'll probably wait until this war slows down, maybe until Voldemort is dead…"

"We'll come to the wedding anyway," I said. "Lily and I will figure out how, no matter what is going on."

"Well like I said, I only think all of this stuff," he said. "I don't know any of it for sure."

"We'll see then," I said, laughing a little and waving my wand to stir the soup again. "Dinner's ready."

"I can't believe you cook," he said, snickering a little more.

"I have to," I said. "I'm learning. Lily is sleeping a lot and she hates standing up and cooking, so I'm cooking now. I'm going to go wake her up."

'All right," he said, yawning and kicking his chair back on two legs. I climbed the stairs up to our bedroom to wake Lily up, and she joined us downstairs.

"Why are we having soup in the summer?" she wondered again, laughing.

"Because you asked for it," I said, grinning.

"It is a tad warm for it, "Padfoot said, shaking his head. "But I'm just glad that it isn't like… poisonous or something… You never know, if James is cooking."  
>"Eat it," I said. "I promise you won't die."<p>

Lily grinned. "It looks good, James. You're getting very good at this. Maybe I'll never have to cook again."

"Good luck with that," I said. "Unlikely, love. Your cooking is much better than mine. You won't get away with that."

She sighed. "Says you. We'll just have to see."

_Next Chapter: "Scared me right to death, she did," He said. _


	61. Muggle Mail

Chapter 61

James:

When we went into hiding, we left Bathilda's address with Lily's mother for a way to reach us. Bathilda would regularly bring over letters from her family, and from others who were communicating with us. Professor McGonagall communicated weekly, knowing we were going a bit stir-crazy without entertainment. We needed regular communication from the outside world. Her mother sent letters frequently too, and Lily called her from our muggle land line telephone on regular occasions.

Bathilda came in one afternoon when Lily and I were playing Muggle war with Exploding Snap cards in late June.

"Hello dears," she said, bringing our traditional pile of mail to us. On top was a letter that was actually addressed with full addresses in muggle customs, with a muggle stamp on the side.

"That must be the first actual letter that's come to my muggle mailbox," Bathilda said, putting it down on the table. "I get muggle junk mail, of course, but usually I just set it on fire…"

She laughed a little.

"Would you like some tea?" Lily asked.

"I'm good, dear, thank you," Bathilda said. "My my, you're getting big aren't you? He must be a big boy."  
>"Our little Harry," I said, chuckling a little. "But then again, I was a big baby, and I ended up sort of scrawny."<p>

"Oh yes, James, you're a toothpick," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "You look thinner than you are."

"He'll probably end up that way," I said. "Beanpole-ish."

Bathilda laughed at that too.

"I'm just going to read this letter," Lily said. "But we'd love to sit here and chat with you, Bathilda, if you have time."

"Of course. What else am I going to do with myself?" the elderly woman replied, shaking her head.

Lily tore open the envelope, pulling the letter out carefully. She opened it up and started to read.

"Oh Merlin, it's from Petunia!" she said, laughing a little. She continued to read, but it only took a couple of seconds before she started sobbing.

"Lily!" I said, standing quickly and taking her hands. I ripped the letter out of her grasp and started skimming it. _Lily, I know you are shocked to get a letter from me of all people… Mum died last night. She was in a car crash. It was very odd, very coincidental, but I don't know… Vernon and I are at her house now, and I found your address. I know you haven't been out here in a while, and Mum says you have very important reasons. I suppose I can understand that, but I know you would want to be at her funeral. I know we've had arguments in the past… but…_

"Lily…" I said, putting my arms around her tightly, as best as I could with her protruding stomach. I stroked her hair.

"I fear I best leave…" Bathilda said, sliding away from the table and moving at her slow, crotchety old woman pace toward the door.

"Thank you for bringing us our mail, Bathilda," I said, rocking Lily back and forth.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Lily started crying harder.

"I haven't seen her in so long… and now I can't… I don't… I don't know what… I can't believe it. James…"

I kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, love."

"I just wish I could've seen her again, talked to her about real things… and now…" she said. "And we can't even go to her funeral."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because if we go, we'll be killed by Death Eaters, and so will Vernon and Petunia, and they're going to have a kid… we can't risk that, James," she said. "We can't risk them… or ourselves, or our son…"

I stroked her hair. "Lily, if you need to go, we can go. You can't just leave this hanging off there."

"I have to James! We have to!" she said, wiping furiously at her tears. "If we don't' just let it be, we'll be having our own funerals, or going to my sister's! We can't go. This is it. My mum's gone… and I don't even get to say… Oh god, James, I can't believe she's dead."

I brushed my fingers across her cheek, kissing her nose, rubbing her stomach.

"I just… it's not fair that this is happening," she said. "And I know that sounds stupid. I know it does. The whole 'why me' thing is so… obnoxious, but I have to ask it sometimes! Why do all of our parents die? Why? It's not right! Why are we the ones whose son is apparently some great challenger to Voldemort, who now thinks he has to destroy him, and us along the way! Why are we the ones that have to go into hiding and not even see any of our families… and then they die and we… it's not fair! I hate it, it's not fair."

I let her bury her nose in my neck and she cried into my skin, soaking it with her tears.

"Lily, I know this probably seems like the farthest thing from truth," I said. "But… it will be okay again. it has to be. It can't get worse, I promise you."

She nodded. "I need to go upstairs…"

I helped her stand carefully, but as soon as she stood, she doubled over, as best as she could in her condition, clutching at her stomach.

"Oh my god," she moaned.

"Lily!" I said, lunging forward just in time to catch her as she passed out in front of me.

-CD-

Lily:

"Bed rest?" I moaned. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Just for July!" Healer Cross said, patting my knee. I sighed and James sat down next to me, taking my hand.

"As if life wasn't boring enough already," I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Healer Cross said. "It's July second. Don't worry. He's due on the thirtieth."

"Four weeks," I said, sighing. "I can do it. I'm just not going to enjoy it."

"Well we just don't need you having any more incidents like that this morning," she said. "You're lucky James got my attention quickly enough, or you would've had your son today, I have no doubt. And that probably would not have been a good thing."

I sighed again, rubbing my hand over my stomach.

"Scared me right to death, she did," he said, putting his hand over mine.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, kissing him on the nose.

"So these are the rules," Healer Cross said. "You need to be in bed most of the day, or I suppose sitting, but no going up and down the stairs if it can be avoided, you obviously may go to the bathroom, and I recommend taking a couple of walks around the room, but no longer than five minutes. I know this is the last thing you want to do, Lily, but I promise, it's the best and safest option for you and the baby."

"We'll be fine," James said, looking at me pointedly.

"Says the man who gets to walk around all the time," I grumbled.

"And make you food—anything you want. Think of me as your personal slave for the next month, love."

Healer Cross chuckled a little, shaking her head. "Well I'm going to go. Now, to make this even easier so you don't have to go climbing through fireplaces to find me again, James, I'm going to give you this." She handed James a smooth green stone. "Just squeeze it very tightly if you need me in an emergency, okay? If _anything _feels off, call me straight away. I will be alerted if you squeeze the stone. Have a good day, you two, okay?"

"Okay," I said, nodding, even though I doubted a good day was possible at this point.

She disapparated, leaving James and I alone. He moved to the foot of the bed and took my feet in his lap, starting to rub them gently.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm all right," I said. "I need to write Petunia to tell her we can't come to the funeral…"

"Lily," he said. "Just relax, take a few deep breaths. You cannot get yourself worked up over things. I know it's hard, love, I know there are a lot of horrible things happening right now, but you need to be okay. You need to be careful and don't risk yourself or our son. I cannot lose you. I cannot lose either of you. Please focus on being healthy and staying safe and listening to Healer Cross, and it will be all right."

I leaned back against the pillows propped against the headboard. He looked up at me.

"Can you do that?" he asked.

"Focus on being careful," I said. "I think I can manage. I'm going to go insane but then you'll just have a crazy wife to deal with."

"I'll keep you in your right mind," he promised.

"You can try," I said, sighing.

"Cheer," he said. "Cheer up, Lils. Stress and anxiety isn't good…"

"I know," I sai.d "I'm trying."

He moved to sit up next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders. He kissed me carefully on the cheek, brushing his fingers of his free hand across my cheek. He stroked my hair too, and then kissed me on the lips. I sighed, wrapping my arms around him and pulling my massive self onto his lap. Despite the massive stomach that was making it hard to get too close, he was calming me down. I instantly felt better.

-CD_

Lily:

_Dear Petunia (And Vernon),_

_I cannot believe your last letter. I've been in and out of tears for the last day since I opened it. At the present, I'm quite large—as I'm sure you are too, Petunia, even more so than me, if you haven't already had your child—and I have been put on bed rest for the duration of my pregnancy._

_This is one of the reasons James and I cannot attend the funeral. I am on strict orders from my doctor not to be on my feet for more than five minutes, if possible. But that's not the only thing. At the present, James and I are in serious danger. It has to do with the cause we were telling you about. I cannot elaborate further without potentially putting you and your family at risk. I'm sorry. _

_This is what you need to know: In the wizarding world, there is a good side and a bad side—basically like the normal world. Obviously, James and I are on the good side. There is this Dark Lord named Voldemort who has gained power and is a major threat to both the wizard and muggle worlds. I say this in case anything ever happens to me, so you know why. I am, with James, fighting the war against this man, this powerful being._

_Please don't worry. Though I don't know if you will anyway. But… let me say… well… I love you a lot. I cannot believe that Mum is gone. I hope you know how truly upset I am, and how badly I feel that James and I cannot come to the funeral. But it is for the safety of all. You might be mad at me. You might never forgive me for not coming, for not helping you in this time. I'm sorry. _

_I hope we will see each other shortly, when it is okay for James and I to reemerge and show ourselves. Until then, know that I love you, I love Mum, and I will miss her. And I am so sorry. We both are. My words in this letter can't even begin to cover my sadness or my regret._

_I hope your son is healthy, and I hope you and Vernon are both well. _

_Love, _

_Lily (And James). _

_-CD-_

_Dear Potters,_

_I don't know who you think you are, or what you think you are doing by skipping Mum's funeral. This is horrible! What a disgrace! I hope you know that I am mad at you, and I don't care what your issues are, you should be here. It's our mother Lily._

_Over the past few years, I have struggled with our relationship. I'm not sure how to make things right—I don't know if you can. We can't change who we are, I know that, but there are days I wish I could change you. I do love you, deep down, I suppose, as Dad said before he died. But I find this almost unforgivable._

_That being said, I wish you and James, and your child well. We had a son last week, his name is Dudley. _

_Petunia_

_-_CD-

_Next Chapter: "I am miserable."_


	62. July 31, 1980

Chapter 62

James:

One downside of being in hiding was the fact that even going to the hospital was very likely a death trap. Strange as that sounded, it was true. Death Eaters, as Alastor put it all so wisely not too long ago, occasionally needed the hospital too… And if they saw Lily and I there, they would not hesitate to call their master, or just kill the us themselves.

And so it meant that Lily had to have our son at home, a thought that wouldn't be that horrifying to many people, but was vulgar to Lily. She moved herself into the guest room on the thirtieth, declaring that if any baby was to be born at home, it sure as hell wasn't going to be in our bed. So she plopped herself in all of her pregnant glory on the guest bed after performing an array of spells to, as she put it "protect the mattress."

"He better come today," she said. "I'm pretty ready for this."

"I'm ready too," I said. "I want to see him. Harry."

"Did you hear that?" Lily wondered, patting her stomach. "We're ready for you."

"Healer Cross is waiting for us to call her," I said, squeezing her hand and sitting up on the bed next to her.

"Hopefully it will be soon," Lily said, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Do you want something to eat? Drink?" I offered.

"Water sounds good," she said. "And maybe some… Oh I don't know… food."

I laughed. "I'll be right back with water and some… food."

"Okay," she said, leaning back and sighing.

Not only was she massive, but she was sweltering in this heat. Because we were stuck inside, she was taking to wearing things that most pregnant women would never think to wear in public. She didn't care what I thought and I didn't care what she wore. As long as she was somewhere near comfortable at this point.

-CD-

James:

I was making her a late, after dinner snack, after a day of sitting around waiting for her to go into labor. It was nearing nine o'clock. I was reminded horribly of the fact that many babies were not born on their due dates.

"I am miserable," she said when I brought her the turkey sandwich I had made. "Women are crazy. Saying that this is the best time of their lives, I mean, there are a lot of things that are wonderful. You know, feeling him kick, feeling him move in here… but I don't like that he's settled on my bladder, or that he makes me feel like a big beach ball… I think the best part of pregnancy is the final thing. When you actually have the baby in your arms. I know it will be more than worth it, and I already know I'll go through it again… willingly."

I grinned. "You want more already?"

"Well let's see how this one turns out," she said, patting her stomach.

"I'm sure he'll be wonderful," I said.

She finished her sandwich and I took the plate to take it back downstairs.

When I came back, she was sitting up in the bed, her eyes wide.

"What?' I asked.

"Where's that little rock thing?" she asked.

I pulled it out of my pocket. "Why, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she said. "My water broke."

I froze, staring at her.

"James?" she said.

"What?" I asked.

"I can see that you're freaking out, but if you would just squeeze that stone, it would be much appreciated," she said kindly.

"Right, right," I said, squeezing the stone. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said. "I'm fine right now."

She was using her wand to clean up the bed and she took a deep breath, leaning back against the headboard.

Healer Cross was here in matter of seconds.

"Is it time?" she asked.

"Oh yes," Lily said.

"And how are you?" she asked Lily.

"I'm fine…" Lily said.

"And James?" Healer Cross turned to me.

"He's a little dumbstruck," Lily explained.

"I'm fine," I said. "I'm fine. What can I do?"

"Go get me some ice, crush it into little chips with your wand, okay?" Healer Cross said.

I disappeared down the stairs, leaving them up there.

When I returned with the cup of ice, Lily was changed into hospital clothes, but apparently in a great amount of pain.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, walking over and taking her hand.

"It's just a contraction," Healer Cross assured me. "Don't worry."

Right. I knew what that was. I knew what all of this was. Of course. I knew it all. Okay. Yes.

-CD-

Lily:

It took just over fourteen hours. It was almost noon on the thirty-first of July when Harry was born. It was fourteen hours of intense pain, and fourteen hours of James fluttering about unsure what to do.

Healer Cross left the three of us together around three, after she was certain we were okay, with promises to come back and check on both of us in the morning.

James and I moved back into our bedroom for me to sleep, and for Harry to sleep. He fell asleep in James's arms as I drifted off next to the two of them.

The next morning I woke to the two of them already awake, but James was feeding him. We'd decided that formula was the route we were going to go with, because it meant I wouldn't have to get up all the time in the night. So far, it seemed, Harry was a very quiet baby.

"Morning," I said to James.  
>"Morning," he said, grinning at me.<p>

"Did you sleep at all?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," he said. "We've been napping on and off. Him more than me. I can't stop looking at him."

I leaned over to look into James's arms. Harry looked so small, breakable. He had been born with a mess of jet black hair that was so very obviously from James that it made me laugh.

"He's going to look just like you,' I said.

"No he's not," he said. "I can already see you in him."

"Do you see his hair?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "That means nothing. So he has black hair?"

"Your exact hair," I said.

"Yeah, well we'll see," he said. "How are you feeling?'

"I'm all right," I said. "I feel… well that wasn't the most pleasant thing ever, I'll just say that. But hey, Healer Cross said I'll stop feeling… uh… sensitive… shortly."

He kissed my forehead.

"So are you going to hog him, or do I get to hold him?" I asked.

"I suppose," he said, sighing. "We were having a good time. Were we not, Harry?"

I laughed and took my son in my arms. "Are you still hungry, Harry?"

"I can't believe we have a son," James said, laughing a little.

"I can't believe it either," I said. "But here he is. Harry James Potter."

"Yes. Here he is," James said, grinning. "We've got a family, Lily."

"Yes we do…" I said, smiling too. "I can't believe it."

"Nor can I," he said.

"So now that we're a family, what do we do?" I asked, laughing.

"Well," James said. "Let's see… we enjoy the time where he's young and probably a bit of a terror. And then, when he's about five, we have to decide how much of an education he needs to have. We can homes school him, or we can send him to muggle school. Most wizards home school though, I'm sure you know. It's easier on the kid, so he doesn't think he's a bit strange, and it's easier to teach him stuff about the wizarding world too."

"Oh good, so I get him for eleven years before he goes to Hogwarts," I said, touching Harry's nose. "Goodness, I can already picture him at Hogwarts. What house do you think he'll be in?'

"Oh Gryffindor of course," James said. "With parents like us…"

"I wonder what his best subject will be," I said, grinning. "Maybe… potions."

"Ha, how about Transfiguration," James offered.

I smiled. "I can't believe we're already talking about Hogwarts. Heavens he was born yesterday, we shouldn't be wishing his life away. In fact, I'd be quite all right if he remained small and soft and wonderful forever."

"I think he's going to remain wonderful," James said.

I nodded. "Of course he is. Because we're lucky."

"Yes we are," James said, chuckling. "I can already tell. Because he doesn't cry very much."

I smiled brightly. "I suppose he's all right though?"

"Yes, I asked Healer Cross before she left, because he was awfully quiet," he said. "She said she checked him out and he's fine, we're just lucky at this point."

I laughed. "I already knew that."

James put an arm around me. "Do you want breakfast, love?"

"Oh sure," I said.

"What would you like?" he asked.

"Surprise me," I said.

He smiled and got up and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Harry.

-CD-

James:

I couldn't keep the smile of my face as I headed into the kitchen to get Lily some breakfast. I had a son. It was quite surreal, actually. Lily and I were parents. Amusingly, I'd dreamed of this with her since our honeymoon. It was finally all coming true. I was, it was decided, the luckiest man alive. I had no doubt about it.

I cracked eggs into the frying pan, picturing her face as she looked down at our son. She was happy. I was happy too. Obviously. There was no reason for me not to be happy, obviously. Despite being in hiding, and all of the difficult things going on outside of the walls of our house, I was happy. It was impossible not to be. And the same went for Lily. No matter what had happened recently, she was just as happy as I was.

I smiled brightly as I scrambled the eggs in the pan. I added some cheese and peppers and onions, and put toast into the muggle toaster, because Lily didn't trust me to make toast with my want. I'd only burned it a couple times at this point.

As I cooked, the thought of the Prophecy wormed its way back into my head. I almost laughed at the concept. Harry, upstairs, being strong enough or powerful enough to challenge Voldemort. Maybe when he was older, but hopefully, if Dumbledore's wishes would come true, we would never have to know if he was the challenger. As long as we were in hiding, and Voldemort was kept from finding us, or finding Harry, he would never have to challenge the Dark Lord. In fact, there was an entire group of people out there, perhaps unknowingly, working to keep him from having to do just that.

I wished I could be out there again, fighting alongside the rest of them. If I didn't know that I would be the primary target if I ever went out with a group of Order members, I would go. But I knew I would be, and my family needed me. I couldn't do that to Lily. Or Harry.

I shook the thought out of my head and plated the eggs, starting to head upstairs.

_Next Chapter: "Any sign of trouble, head straight home." _


	63. In a Tizzy

Chapter 63.

Lily:

The big black dog padded his way into the house, shaking off rain in a very uncivilized manner.

"Ew," I complained under my breath. Despite the fact that he was still human underneath all that, the odor of wet dog was already in the house.

He swung himself up onto his back paws, becoming a human as he did so, Sirius in a dark rain-soaked cloak with his hair, which was quite long again, hanging in drenched tendrils down his face. He sighed and lifted his wand to clear away the water and dry himself off.

"Lovely day, isn't it?" he commented as rain hammered the windows.

"Charming," I said.

'Now, where is he?" he asked eagerly. "Where is the man that is going to challenge Voldemort. I'd like to begin my corruption now."

I rolled my eyes. "Talk like that, and he's never going near you."

Sirius sighed. "Lily, Lily, Lily. Who's all met him? Am I the first?"

"Dumbledore has met him, and so has Bathilda, but other than that, you are the first," I said.

"Dumbledore stopped by?" Sirius said, incredulous. "He very rarely even shows up at Headquarters."

"Come on," I said. "James is upstairs with him."

The two of us climbed the stairs up to our bedroom, where James was still giving Harry a lesson on Quidditch that had begun about an hour ago. But James insisted that he needed to start the education young if he was going to have a National Quidditch player on his hands.

"Hey mate," James said, stopping mid-conversation about the development of broomstick handles. I sometimes wondered, if there was so much to learn about it, why there wasn't a Quidditch NEWT. Of course James would've gotten an O.

"Hey," Sirius said, as James got out of the chair he was sitting in.

"This, mate, is Harry," James said. "Harry, this is Sirius… Padfoot… Snuffles… whatever works."

"You're allowed to hold him," I said.

"Gee thanks, Lily," Sirius said, offering his arms out. James put Harry in his arms very carefully.

"Damn he looks like James," Sirius said, laughing.

"I know," I said. "But I think James will deny it."

"He's got your eyes, Lily" Sirius said.

"Yes he does," James said.

"We need to get going to the church soon," I said.

"Right," James said. "Well this is the plan… I'm going to change to a stag and go through the back wood to get to the church. Padfoot, I want you to go with Lily and Harry in your dog form. They'll be under the cloak. I want someone with them though, and I can't very well just walk along the square as a massive deer, headed toward the church. The wizard who did our wedding will be at the church, and he'll let you three in the back door, and then the side door will be open for me. He said this should take no more than twenty minutes."

"Are you sure we should do this?" I asked, doing a classic worried wringing of my hands.

"I think we will be fine," James said, taking my hands.

"There are no Death Eaters out there," Sirius said. "I scoured the square."

"Okay…" I said, taking a deep breath. "We should do this."

"Yes, we should," James said. "Come on, let's get downstairs."

We reached the main floor and he gave me a hug and a kiss, handing me the cloak. "It will be fine. Just walk quick, but make sure you aren't see. I'll go as fast as I can, maybe I'll get there first. I love you."

"I love you too," I said, kissing him again. I took Harry back from Sirius, and James kissed him on the forehead.

"Any sign of trouble, head right home," James said. "Sirius make sure they get home, and then come back and find me, if you can."

"We'll be fine," I said.

I couldn't believe this much fuss was being made over a trip to the church. We just wanted to have a Christening; both James and I had been brought up in Christian households.

James nodded, gave us both one more look, and then headed to the back door. Sirius helped me get the cloak on while I held Harry, and then he turned into a dog.

"Ready?" I asked, even though I was invisible to him.

He nodded his big head and I opened the front door.

We hurried down the street and across the square in the direction of the church. My eyes darted around, but there was nothing amiss. Everyone was inside on such a dreary rainy day. I could almost hear Sirius grumbling as the rain drenched his fur. Harry made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. I got the feeling he wasn't comfortable with me running with him through the streets.

The wizard who had officiated my wedding to James pulled the door of the church open when he saw Sirius. We stepped inside and I was hesitant to pull my cloak off, until James appeared, hair soaked into wet points that clung to his forehead. He grinned as I pulled the cloak off to reveal Harry and myself. Sirius turned back into a dog and got his wand out again to dry himself off and then waved it at James too.

"Wonderful," The wizard said. "Are you all here?"

"Yes," James said.

"Wonderful," the wizard said again. "Let's go into the sanctuary.

The small church had a very open sanctuary, painted a light color with pale wooden beams stretching across the ceiling. A multitude of stained glass windows accented the walls, but were not lit by the damp, dark day outside.

"So let me see, "the wizard said. "This is Harry?"

"Yes," I said, offering him out.

"And you're his mother, and James is the father?"

"Of course," I said, laughing a little.

'Well sometimes you have to ask these things," the wizard said. "And Sirius Black here is your choice for godfather."

"Yes," Sirius said.

-CD-

James:

I ran through the woods, ignoring the scratch of branches across my skin. I arrived in the backyard, not quite aware when I breached the fidelius charm's barrier. I moved in the back door after changing back into my human form. It only took a few more minutes for Lily, Padfoot and Harry to come in the front door.

"Well that was much more stressful than the average Christening," I commented as Padfoot became human again.

"Yes, it was,' Lily agreed, rubbing her temples. She looked down at Harry.

"Are you staying for dinner?' I asked Padfoot.

"If I'm welcome, I won't pass it up," he replied. "You two are much better cooks than I am. Astor has been feeding me for most meals. She worries I'm going to become malnourished on my own food. I'm not going to protest, however. She's one good cook. But sometimes I feel as if I'm overstaying my welcome."

We moved into the kitchen, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Poor Astor. She never gets a moment alone. There is _always _someone at her house, always someone spending the night," Lily said.

"Yeah, but sometimes I think she likes it," I said. "She likes to be able to see others all the time, keep up on what's going on with the Order, especially if she hasn't seen Kingsley for a while. It's her way of doing her part without fighting, because she fees too old for that at this point."

"I suppose that is true," Lily said. "I miss everyone. I miss the fighting, but not as much as just sitting around the kitchen table at Astor's house as catching up on things and seeing different faces."

"Which, truthfully," I said, "she means she gets bored seeing my face every day."

"That's not true," Lily protested. "I just wish we could see everyone some more."

"I wish too," I said. "I would love to see them all again, as opposed to just sitting her."

"People understand though," Padfoot said. "When we fight the Death Eaters, they usually start off their fights saying 'they're not here.' We know they're talking about you. They've started getting up, and I get the impression that Voldemort is getting quite angry, actually. Because he knows that you all are in hiding, and he knows that Dumbledore would give you a good amount of help in hiding. Now it's just left for him to determine who your secret keeper is."

"You better be careful," Lily told him. "We need the godfather of our son to be alive, yeah?"

"Oh don't worry about me," Padfoot said. "The Death Eaters are in a bit of a… as Hestia calls it _tizzy. _Dumbledore, who was conveying this through Alastor, believes that it's because Voldemort is in a bit of a panic. He let something happen that he didn't want to happen. He knows your son was born, or he assumes. He never wanted Harry to be alive, even for a moment."

Lily looked down at her son. "He's a maniac."

"Oh I know it," Padfoot said, shaking his head. Lily passed Harry to him as she went to make dinner for the three of them. "But that means he's angry at most of the Death Eaters, and something we've realized is, when he starts to get angry, they start to get unorganized, until he starts killing his own men, and that is when they snap into line. At the moment, they don't have any idea what route to take."

"Well that's good," Lily said. "At least they have that to hold them away from you right now."

"I'm not worried," he said. "And besides, as much as it would kill me, if I had to stop fighting to keep myself out of their claws, I would do it. It's more important that the three of you don't have the _slightest _chance of being discovered. And I know they would have to take me right to Voldemort, because he wants to be the one to do it… But like I said, I could keep my mouth shut anyway. I'd die before I betrayed either of you. Or Harry at this point."

Lily smiled at him, and I nodded. Harry made a grumpy noise in Padfoot's arm.

"He's hungry," Lily contributed. "Feed him, will you, James?"

"I can do it," Sirius said. "We're bonding. Godfather-godson bonding."

"Makes you want your own kid, doesn't it?" I asked, getting the formula out and heating it to the exact temperature with my wand.

"I think I'd need a wife, first," Padfoot said, shaking his head.

"Is there really no one?" Lily asked.

"I've been too concerned with the Order to date," Padfoot said. "And outside the Order, it's hard to trust anyone in this day and age, even if it is, for instance, the prettiest girl I've ever met. You never know who's in disguise, who's been drinking polyjuice potion, or who just happens to be very pretty but also very evil."

"No one in the Order then, either?" Lily said. "There are girls that have come out of Hogwarts that aren't that much younger than you are, you know that."

"I know," he said. "But I don't know…"

He looked down at Harry and sighed once. "They are pretty cute."

"They also grow up to be teenagers like you and like me," I said, chuckling a little.

"I'm going to have such a hard time as a mother," Lily said. "I already know it. "How did your mother get through your early teens without murdering you?"

"She realized that deep down, Sirius and I were just quite amazing," I explained, laughing.

Lily shook her head. "Oh right. Sorry. My mistake."

"And you're still hoping Harry doesn't turn out like me," I said, grinning.

"No," Lily said. "I like you. I just don't know how your parents managed in your more annoying years."

"Did you hear that, Sirius?" I said. "She likes me. Boy do I feel special."

"How about love?" Lily offered.

_Next Chapter: "Dumbledore thinks there is a spy in the Order." _


	64. Of Spies, Weddings, and Angelic Faces

**_A/N: I apologize for getting off of my schedule... my brother and I decided spur of the moment to do a Lord of the Rings marathon and I completely forgot about my computer for 11 and 1/2 hours. Anyway... _**

Chapter 64,

Lily:

James and I sat comfortably on the couch, a sleeping Harry in a baby swing nearby. He moved around a lot when he slept, and it was almost entertaining to watch him sleep. But it wasn't that entertaining. SO James and I were still talking quite a bit about ourselves. I doubted there was a detail about him I didn't know at this point, and the same had to go for him.

Harry, thankfully, was a nice break from the monotony we had been experiencing since we had to go into hiding. He was spontaneous, even for a baby, so that was good. I just couldn't wait until he started speaking, because I imagined it would be sooner rather than later. And every time he grew, I thought he looked so much more like James. James was bent on his eyes, which were the exact shade of mine. He thought it was some sort of phenomenon, but in truth it was just genetics.

The doorbell rang, and as usual, James moved to his feet and pulled his wand out. He did that every time someone came to call, just in case. Even though if they rang the doorbell, it meant they probably weren't Death Eaters. I doubted Death Eaters had the manners for such formalities. Still, A lot of things were done just in case. We had bags packed in case of an emergency. If Sirius was ever captured by the Death Eaters, a member of the Order who knew where we were would be sent to bring us to headquarters. After that, if Sirius was okay, we would move back home. If, heaven forbid, he wasn't, we would find a new house and a new secret keeper.

James and I didn't like to think about things like that though. We tried to push them out of our heads, and just pretend we liked to stay inside a lot.

He pulled the door open to reveal Marlene, who was beaming at him.

"Hello!" she said. "It's me. I promise. Let'see… how to prove that… where's Lily?"

I appeared behind James in the doorway.

"Let's see…" Marelene said. "Your favorite pair of underwear in sixth year was the ones with the cherries all over them. Until Em pointed out how sexual that sort of was…"

James laughed loudly next to me.

"It's Marlene," I grumbled, elbowing him in the ribs. "But I'm not sure if I want to let her in."

He grinned and stood aside to let Marlene inside.

"How are you all?" she asked, hugging me tightly. "I feel as if I haven't seen you in the longest time, you have no idea."

"Well it's been a long time," i said. "What was it, my baby shower, when you dragged Emmeline home, and you, Em and Alice all crammed into my bedroom where I was confined and we had the tiniest baby shower in history?"

"Yes," Marlene said. "That's exactly it. "But now you're not pregnant. And I want to see the result."

"His name is Harry," Lily said. "But I told you that before he was born."

"Right…" Marlene said.

James and I led her into the house and I gestured to Harry.

"This is Harry. Please don't touch him, he's asleep. And he cries much less frequently than normal babies, but he definitely cries if you wake him up," I said.

Marlene laughed. "But look at him! He's so cute…"

"Yes," James said. "He is. But think of that little angelic face that looks quite a bit like mine, Lily says—'

"Save for the angelic part," I contributed.

"Think of it as a 'Do not disturb' sign," James said, cutting over me. He grinned.

"Right…" Marlene said, laughing a little again. "Do Not Disturb."

"So did you just come here to see Harry, or do you have more news?" I wondered. "Anything interesting happening in the world? In the Order?"

"Well…" Marlene said. "We're still fighting,. Of course. I doubt that's going to stop any time soon, hate to disappoint you all."

James sighed and I patted his shoulder.

"And well… as for the world…" Marlene said thoughtfully. "Well… a couple of the members of the Order have hooked up, if that surprises anyone, and well, Remus asked me to marry him."

"What?' I demanded, throwing my hands up in shock.

She ginned. "Yeah. He asked me to marry him. It took him forever to get around to it, because he's had this internal conflict thing because he's a werewolf, but he seems to be getting over that, and we will figure life out as it comes."

"So I'm taking it you said yes?" James questioned.

"Of course," Marlene said.

"When is the wedding?" I asked.

"Well…" Marlene said. "We're not sure. We're either going to elope… or have an actual wedding, but if we have an actual wedding we want the two of you to be there. We're willing to wait until you can come out of hiding, we are."

"That could be a really long time," James said sadly.

"We know," Marlene said. " But we're okay with it. We don't want to stress anyone out over this whole thing, and well, we don't want to stress ourselves out. It's sort of difficult to plan a wedding being so busy with the Order, and we're just going to see how it goes. It was more sort of to make things official than to rush right into a wedding."

"I can't believe it," I said. "This is wonderful!"

"Yes, we're very happy," Marlene said.

"What else is going on then?" James wondered. "Anything else equally exciting."

"Yes," Marlene said. "Dumbledore thinks there is some sort of spy in the Order."

"What?" I said. "Oh my goodness!"

"It's not truly a big deal, it just means things have become a lot more secretive," Marlene said. "We have a spy now, but we're not allowed to meet him. But we have someone within the Death Eaters, who the Death Eaters seem to think is working for them. But yes… he doesn't share much with all of us. He keeps private council with Alastor and McGonagall… and they share with the people they need to. They're ninety percent certain it's not me, or Sirius. They know it's not Sirius. Emmeline is away, so it doesn't really matter… and Peter is Peter. He doesn't have the guts to be a spy."

"What about Remus?" James wondered.

"Remus is a werewolf," Marlene said simply. "Dumbledore might trust him, but it's harder for a lot of the other members to do so. They hold old prejudices, as much as they would like to say they don't. I'm sure it will be okay though. We don't suspect him, obviously. I know he isn't the spy."

"Obviously not," I said, shaking my head. "He is one f the best people I know."

"Of course," James said. "We can all vouch for him of course."

"He should be fine," Marlene said, nodding. "Really. No one is going to kick him out of the Order. He's essential, and I think Alastor and Dumbledore know that, and they're in charge."

"Does Alastor ever impress any of you as a bit… crazy?" I asked finally.

"I thought that from the first moment I met him," Marlene said. "He's brave and devoted, but a little insane."

"Kind of suspicious," James said. "I mean, he is paranoid, not that his actions are of suspicious nature."

"Which leads me to believe sometimes that this supposed spy in the Order is just something he decided ought to be happening at this stage in the game," Marlene said. "It's almost as if he wants there to be a spy. Who knows."

"but at that same time," I said. "He's a very talented auror, and I know that Dumbledore trusts his matter on things such as these, and he has a better idea than many of us…"

"Exactly," James said. "So I guess we don't get to know until some spy is unearthed. Or not. Who knows."

"He's awake!" Marlene cheered, pointing at Harry. "Can I hold him now?"

"Yes, yes," I said, getting up off of the sofa and walking over to the swing. I unhooked Harry and pulled him out of the swing, bringing him over to Marlene. She took him carefully, and looked down at him.

"James, is this exactly what you looked like as a baby?" Marlene wondered, laughing.

"No," James said, laughing too. "Look at his eyes."

"I'm not talking about his eyes. Those are obviously Lily eyes," she said. "I'm talking about the hair and the face and all that."

"I still don't see it that much," James said, shaking his head.

"Just wait until he grows up, James," I said. "He's going to be your little doppelganger."

James:

Summer. Fall. Into winter. We waited. It was a quiet life, needless to say, waiting for the world to change, unable to determine our own fates. I was never the sort to sit by and let others fight for me.

We had never been luckier, in this the unluckiest hour, it seemed. Harry was… everything. He was exciting, and he was changing, and he was something that kept us sane. I would never get sick of Lily, and I never tired of her, but I did tire of just her. We had the occasional visitor, but Remus was underground again. Marlene was given tasks she couldn't elaborate to us, working hand in hand with her brother, and from what I heard, even her father. It was a McKinnon task. Padfoot came occasionally, when he could. Dumbledore's warnings hung over his head, heavy, and the Death Eaters were worming their way into the secrets of the Order, permeating the very skin of the secrets. They would never get deep enough, but Dumbledore always said, they could find Sirius. Peter was a regular, perhaps more regular than others, giving us our updates, and succeeding in being the most unassuming Order member and perhaps the lowest one of the target list of the Death Eaters.

And so it was really just the three of us and Bathilda. She would come and share stories of the old days, give us details of the present, from what she gathered from her own visitors. It was nice, despite how old she was, and how sometimes she wouldn't remember all the details, or would start in on a story she'd told us the day before. She was a change of face. She was someone else to talk to.

Lily was doing better than I was. On occasion, I would catch her staring out the window, or reading things out of the Prophet and saying she wanted to go to Quidditch matches—from the girl that didn't even like Quidditch that much. And in the fall, when we took Harry out in the crisp fall air, she went close to the edges of the boundaries of our charms, that I almost felt I had to remind her not to step off the grass, into the street. Instead I just walked up behind her and took her hand, pulling her back. A silent reminder.

I was worse. I left as a stag several times, unable to remain in bounds. I read the _Prophet _with more envy than she did, and communicating by letter with Padfoot. Lily wanted to write to him to tell him to stop taunting me, but I told her that the only thing keeping me sane was her, Harry, and living vicariously through my best friend.

We were slowly going to pieces. She would deny it, and so would I, to anyone who visited us. But when Christmas came, and we ate a small dinner alone at our kitchen table, exchanging gifts and showering Harry with presents he wasn't yet old enough to appreciate, it was a downer. We spoke of it together, of how the world seemed sort of far way, and we were in our own world, a little planet, encompassed in a protective orb.

We were, she said, surviving. But we tried not to let each other see it.

_Next Chapter: 1981. _


	65. Yesterday Evening

**_A/N: Update everyday until the end!_**

Chapter 65.

Lily:

1981. We were getting out this year. That was what I told him. I knew we would. I said it over and over again .To both James and Harry. We would be free and Voldemort would be dead, and there would be a chance for real happiness, and not just happiness within the walls of the house.

But the year dawned darkly. Not only did the world seem to have a dingy glow upon it, but news reached us. Deaths, and murders and suspicious circumstances flooded the headlines of the _Daily Prophet. _Letters from Padfoot and our friends poured in, bearing bad news. If James didn't want to be informed, I would've asked them to stop. Darkness didn't help when a family was confined.

I made breakfast for Harry and James one morning, waiting for Bathilda, as usual, to bring over our newspaper for the day. Even the _Prophet _had noticed the tinge of darkness in the atmosphere and scrounged for a daily headline to paste across the front page that wasn't about death or Voldemort. They sought out happiness and joyful titles, and came up with things that would never, in decent times, be front page news, but were truly all the world could look for in search of some sort of solace that life continued to be normal elsewhere.

I wanted to find elsewhere.

It had almost been a year, I realized, as I put the eggs and bacon in front of James, and sat down myself to feed Harry. He was half a year old. I had to admit, it did make time fly to have a child in the house, and that was another number on the list of a million reasons why Harry had saved James and I, and rescued our sanity.

Odd, that was, seeing that, had I never gotten pregnant, we never would've been in hiding, But yet, the thing that had put us in hiding was the thing that made it bearable.

And Harry certainly wasn't just a thing.

James got up to answer the door when Bathilda arrived. He let her in out of the blistering cold, and she shuffled into the kitchen, carrying our yesterday's post and the day's paper.

I took the paper from her as James tucked back into his eggs. The front page had some long article about wizard children enjoying the snow or something. I skipped past it, knowing it probably was worthless and very likely made up. Instead, I moved to the meatier things, the thoughts that kept us up at night, the worries that we felt. They had to block off more columns everyday to alert people to deaths and disappearances.

Today, however, a large block of text was devoted to the headline "WIZARD FAMILY SLAUGHTERED." I scrunched my brow together, scanning past the dateline and ignoring the name of the author. I did not read a line before I dropped the paper, my mouth falling open in horror.

"What is it?" James demanded, seizing the paper from where I'd dropped it in the oatmeal I was feeding Harry.

_Yesterday evening, in their home outside of London, the entirety of the McKinnon family was found dead. The Dark Mark had been cast over the premises, and the bodies of Weston McKinnon (60), Joanne McKinnon (58), Simon McKinnon (24) and Marlene McKinnon (20). The McKinnon family lost their other son, Andrew McKinnon at the age of 23 in December of 1977, under similar circumstances. The older Mr. McKinnon, and his children, Simon and Marlene, were working avidly in the fight against Lord Voldemort, which is likely a cause of their death. The McKinnon children leave behind their fiancés, Alaizabel Miller and Remus Lupin. _

"Marlene," I said, wiping at my eyes. I rose from the table in search of a tissue. "And poor Remus, he has to be devastated."

"I can't believe they put his name in the paper as being associated with someone working against Voldemort," James said. "It could ruin things for him."

My shoulders shook as I started to cry and thankfully Bathilda could tend to Harry while James comforted me.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," he said. "I know she was your best friend."

"James, it's everywhere," Lily said.

"I know," he said. "It's everywhere."

-CD-

Lily:

I got out of the bath and moved to the bedroom, drying my hair with my wand as I went.

James sat on the bed, and Harry was asleep in his bedroom. It was just the two of us, mourning the loss of a two good friends and their parents.

"How are you feeling?" James asked, putting his arms around me as I came down to sit next to him.

"I'm feeling better," I said, leaning in to kiss him. "I just love you."

He laughed. "I love you too, Lily." He hooked his hands under my arms and pulled me onto his lap. I nestled against his chest.

"Let's have another kid," I said.

He froze. "Huh?"

"Don't you want another one?" she said.

"Yes," he said. "I do. I didn't know you wanted one now. Harry's only seven months old."

"I know," I said, shaking my head. "I'm being silly."

"No," he said. "I just thought… you wouldn't… because he's so young at this point."

"I know," I said. "I just… I just do."

"Really?" he said. "I want one too."

"You do?" I said.

"Yes," he said. "A girl. A little girl. What do you think?"

"I'd love a girl," I said, laughing a little.

"So… we should probably get working on that," he said, putting a hand on the small of my back. He slid it down the outside, running it over the tank top I had just put on to sleep in.

"I just showered," I said, laughing as I leaned in to press my forehead against his.

"So what?" he said. "We'll shower again later."

"If you insist," I said, laughing.

"You say that like I'm making you," he said. He kissed me then.

"Oh no," I said. "You don't really have to ask."

He slid one hand up and the other down, pressing his lips against mine. He sucked on my lower lip, pressing me to his chest.

"I love you," he said. "Never forget any of that."  
>"I don't think I could," I said, refastening his lips to mine. He brushed his fingers across my neck and then tipped me onto my back so that he was leaning over me, kissing me. He pulled up my tank top and slid it up over my head. I didn't have a bra on underneath, and I knew that he knew that before he pulled the shirt over. He moved his lips down my neck, across my collarbone to my left breast. I tugged at his t-shirt, only briefly distracting him. He lifted his arms to let me pull off his t-shirt, and he ducked his head to kiss me some more, kissing with his tongue and teeth across my stomach. He pulled down the bottoms I was wearing, and once they got to my knees, I took over, shaking them off the rest of the way.<p>

I kissed his chest and he pulled his jeans off. I felt his erection pressed into my leg more strongly than I had before, and he kissed down my stomach, over my navel, and back up, dragging his tongue and teeth with his lips. We pulled off each other's underwear, and our lips met again, molding around each other strictly, tongues battling in the heat of the moment, one of his hands knotting in my hair, the other giving attention to my breasts.

He used his own thigh to spread my legs, parting them wide enough for him to put his body in between them. Without any hesitation or premeditation, it would seem, he pushed inside me, groaning as he did so, one hand tightening in my hair.

Magic. I didn't know how he did it, but sex with him never got old, never got boring, and never felt less intense, less amazing, or less emotional than the many times before. I moaned as he pulled out again, and on one of his first thrusts, I wrapped my legs around his middle.

"Lily…" he moaned, a response to a whimper in the back of my throat.

"I love you," I replied, my hands hooked behind his neck.

"I love you… too," he said, his pace quickening, then slowing again when he regained his head. If he thought about it, it was even more amazing, every time. I was lucky he managed to work his brain around a few things, even in times such as these.

"You're amazing," he informed me.

I silenced him with a kiss to the mouth. Our lips were sloppy with each other, but we didn't even notice or care as we wandered away from mouths to necks and chests.

When we both came, I lost my head, as usual. I often joked that he needed to make me forget my own name, but it was quite frequent that he actually did. In the end, it was just him and me, spiraling in bliss out of control, feeling better than we ever dreamed we could as war raged outside the walls of the little house in which we were trapped.

He collapsed on his side next to me, twisting his fingers into mine. I leaned on my side too, looking up at him. Without saying anything, he leaned in and kissed me on the nose, very carefully, and then on the lips. I met his eyes, his beautiful hazel eyes, and he smiled at me, a careful smile, nothing too brilliant, more lazy, genuinely happy, but a little dopey as well. In a very attractive way, nonetheless.

I reached out with one hand and carefully traced the scars that still crossed all over his stomach, a crazy pattern, that looked surreal, almost a natural, horrible work of art. As I brushed my fingers across his skin, he closed his eyes, a toothless smile gracing his features.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I said. "So much."

"Can you believe…" he said, 'that in spite of everything, I am still happy? So happy?"

"I hope you are," I said. "I am. I know I am. I'm glad you are."

"In fact, sometimes I think to myself that I have never been happier," he said, opening his eyes again. "Crazy as that sounds, right? Here we are, trapped. And yet… I have everything. I have you… I could never ask for anything more. I have the most beautiful, wonderful, loving wife a man could ask for, someone I know I will love forever. And then I have a son—a perfect, happy, healthy son, who is everything to both of us. I have a family. I have it made. So no matter what… I am happy. I'm not going to say I couldn't be happier, because when we can start walking freely, I will be happier. But until that day, this is close enough, that I don't even need it. I'm going stir-crazy, but I'll survive. I know I will."

I slid closer to him on the bed, leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

"I'm glad we're alive," I said. "It's everywhere, James. People are dying. Our friends are dying."

"I know," he said. "Everyday, Sirius is out there, risking his neck for us."

"And here we are… alive," I said.

"if we were out there, we would be dead," he said.

_New Chapter: "This is not a time to be risky!" _


	66. A Secret to be Kept

Chapter 66.

James:

I sat alone in the sitting room, reading, listening to the wizard radio as it jabbered about the war. There was only one light on, and I practiced the defensive spells in thin air, using the book Lily got me for our anniversary. The best part of the book was that it gave a description of the effects of the spell when used properly on inanimate objects, so that one didn't have to try on others.

Upstairs, Lily and Harry were asleep. It was just me up. I couldn't sleep again, too much life on my mind, and it was too hot upstairs, for some reason; a May day had turned into a hot May evening.

There was a loud crash and I jumped up, the book in my lap falling to the floor.

I bounded into the hallway, wand out, ready, flicking it to illuminate the hallway.

Just as I reached the door, Padfoot stumbled through the door, his hair long and matted to his face, and as he stepped into the light, I saw that it was matted with blood.

"Mate!" I said, waving my wand to close the door behind him.

"I'm fine," he said. "I'm fine, I just need someone who can fix cuts, and I didn't want to go back to headquarters… I don't want to go back…"

"All right,all right," I said. "I'll go get Lily… Just go in the kitchen, sit down, sit down."

I left him in the kitchen and hurried up the stairs. The light in our bedroom was on, and Lily was sitting up in bed, Harry in her arms, an expression of absolute love on her face.

"He woke up," she informed me, before looking up and catching the urgency on my face. "What's wrong?"

"Padfoot is here," I explained. "He's bleeding and I don't trust myself to do the repair…"

"Oh my goodness," she said, slinging her legs out of bed. "Here, take Harry."

I took Harry from her and took him to his room as she darted down the stairs into the kitchen.

I found her sitting there with Padfoot after putting Harry in his bassinet.

"What happened?" I asked Sirius, sitting down with them.

"Death Eaters," Sirius said. "they were targeting me, and Alastor told me to get out of there. I didn't want to go back to headquarters, I just had this… well I needed to talk to you…"

"They think you're our secret keeper…" Lily said, her hand over her mouth.

He nodded rigorously. "Yes they do. Obviously, they're right. And I'm worried. I don't doubt at all that I can keep your secret. Unless, however, they give me veritaserum… I don't know. I just worry… I worry that this isn't safe. And If I was no longer your secret keeper, if I could get out of their way for a while… I don't want to risk anything. There is always a chance… And I don't want to take that chance. For you, Lily, James, and of course, for Harry. This is not a time to be risky. So if I we can make them believe it's me, then we can switch the secret keeper to one of the others."

"Remus," I said instantly.

Sirius shook his head gravely. "I don't think so."

'What do you mean?" Lily wondered.

"There has been some stuff going around," Padfoot said, shaking his head. "I don't know what to believe. They think Remus is the spy, James."

"What?" I said.

"Well…" Padfoot said. "Sadly, the signs do point to him… because he's back with the werewolves, and we don't know how he got back in their good graces after that Death Eater attack. I don't' know what to think… especially because after Marlene died… he's been off."

"Remus wouldn't," Lily said, putting her hand to her mouth.

"I thought so too," Sirius said. "Things are getting hard, Lily. He might not be himself. He might be imperiused, he might just be moody and a very good spy…"

"I just don't think so," I said. "I refuse. He's our best mate, Padfoot. Him and Wormtail. If we can't trust them, we can't trust anyone."

"That's just it, Prongs," he said, shaking his head. "We can't."  
>"Then why should we switch secret keepers from you?" Lily said. "If we can't trust anyone else."<p>

"Wormy," Sirius said simply. "He's too cowardly to be a spy. And he wouldn't be the obvious choice. They won't suspect him. They'll keep going after me, and I won't be able to tell them anything. He actually came up with the plan. Can you believe that?"

I shook my head. "Peter? If they ever found out it was him, I doubt he could stand his ground at all…"

"But like I said," Sirius said. "They'll go after me."

"They'll kill you," Lily said.

"Lily," he said, shaking his head. "You still don't understand, do you?"  
>"What do you mean?" she wondered.<p>

"I would die for any one of you in a heartbeat," Sirius said. "if someone told me I had to die for any of you to live, I wouldn't think twice about it."

"Sirius…" she said.

"James is my best mate. He is my brother. And you are everything to him, and that makes you equally important to me, but in a different way, obviously. And then Harry… what can I say?" he sighed. I looked at him.

"We would do the same for you," James said.

"No you shouldn't, don't you even think about it," Sirius said. "It's different because I don't have people counting on me."

Lily stood up then and put her arms around him.

"If you die, I will never forgive you," she said.

"I'm not going to die," he said, patting her back.

"Thank you," I said to Padfoot. I gave him a look, and he nodded. He knew how grateful we were, how much his personal sacrifices meant to us.

"What are brothers for, Elvendork?" he said, laughing.

I sighed, taking Lily's hand. She smiled at me.

"So we switch it to Peter?' she said.

"I think that sounds like the best idea," I said, sighing. Remus would never be a spy. I knew it, truly. But if even Sirius was doubting him, then there was no way we could risk this.

"And I've been talking to Dumbledore," Sirius said. "I've been told to stay clear of this area for a while. To lead them far away. If I'm seen at all, even as a dog, they will focus on this area, and we can't have them doing that. So I won't be coming to visit you all for a while. I'm not sure how long it is going to be. Which is another reason I chose to come here. I wanted to tell you all of this myself. I wanted to make sure I could say goodbye for a while."

I nodded, sighing. "Things are getting hard out there, aren't they?"

"it's getting frightening," Padfoot said. "They've got so much power and they're gaining allies. They have managed to focus an entire team on tracking down your family, but they can't do it, obviously. They have ideas, and yet, they can't get to you."

Lily shook her head. "How is the Order fairing?"

"We're doing pretty well, but it's not without losses," he said. "Nothing so devastating as the McKinnons… that was… I've never seen headquarters so absolutely silent as it was when Dumbledore told us. He came away from Hogwarts to tell us. It was… shocking."

"I just can't believe it," Lily said. "I still can't believe it."

"Remus walked out of the room and no one saw him for three days," Sirius said. "he came to my house and he was a wreck. I've never seen him so upset and so angry."

"Angry?" I questioned.

"He said he didn't think anything was worth it," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Can you blame him?" I demanded. "Can you imagine… obviously, I'm not certain of the depth of his feelings for her, but at the same time… let's assume that he felt about Marlene the way I feel about Lily… I can't imagine what I would do if I ever lost her…."

"Well you don't have to worry about that," Lily told me, taking my hand.

"I love you so much…" I said. "And if Remus loved Marlene even half as much, he would be devastated beyond anything… he wouldn't be able to function properly for a long time."

"He was doing okay last time I saw him, but he was still bitter," Sirius said. "He's been kind of distant. Which is the only reason I have any sort of doubts about him… I hate that I think that these things could be right… but it seems possible, if anything. Maybe not probable, but possible."

I shook my head. I wouldn't believe it.

"So I'll tell Dumbledore and Peter, and they'll set up the switch. The Death Eaters will buy it," Padfoot said. "I'm sure they will."

There was a cry upstairs, and Lily stood up. "I'll go get him."

She left the two of us alone, waiting for her to bring Harry down.

"How bad is it?" I wondered.

"It's horrific," Sirius said. "Muggle families are dying left and right. We find a new one every other night, somewhere…"

"Merlin," I said, shaking my head.

"So how are things here?" he asked. "Have you grown crazy?"

"Not yet," I said. "We've focused our energy elsewhere. We're trying to have another baby."

"Really?" he said, laughing. "I guess I can't see why not. You have nothing else to do, and it would bring around some new entertainment. To have another kid running around, I mean…"

I nodded, laughing. "But so far, nothing. So we're being patient. Maybe it's just not time for another kid. Last time, we decided to let fate, which neither of us believe in, handle it."

Lily came back down the stairs then, holding Harry in her arms.

"Is there any kid that is loved as much as he is in this world?" he asked.

"No," Lily said, looking down at our almost one-year-old son. "I don't think he even gets it. I love you Harry. Mama loves you. Daddy loves you. Sirius loves you. We all love you so much."

She brought him up to her chest and I stood and put my arms around both of them.

Sirius sighed. "I wonder if you know how jealous I am."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, laughing.

"The three of you…" he said. "I want that."

"You'll have it," Lily assured him. "There's some girl out there who is perfect for you. We just got lucky, James and I. We found it young. But you're still young. You're twenty-one. You have a lot of time."

I kissed Lily on the cheek, and took Harry from her. He really didn't know how loved he was. He was too little to understand. I hoped it was something he would never question, and maybe he would realize it later, as we watched him grow up, get older, have his own family… He snuggled close to my chest, and I rubbed his back.

"Go to sleep, Harry," I said, rocking him back and forth.

"That's why we fight this war," Sirius said.

"That's why _you _fight this war," I said. "We don't get to fight anymore."

"It's a frightening world out there," he said. "I'd rather be in here."

_Next Chapter: "I hope Peter is doing well."_


	67. The Cloak of Invisibility

**_A/N: 2 Chapters more and then my sort-of epilogue, which is told from the point of view of someone who has been a regular since the beginning. :(_**

Chapter 67.

Lily:

"Lily."

"What?" I said. "We can't keep it," he said.

"Why not?" I demanded.

He seemed to think about it for a moment.

"Because it's a stray. We have a son, and we don't know what it'll do," he said.

"But James, he's so sweet…" I said, picking the kitty up and swinging him in my arms. "I've wanted a cat since we got married."

"And I told you we could get one," he said. "And then we went into hiding and that sort of went down the drain."

"But that was because it would've been stupid to walk out to Diagon Alley to buy a cat," I said. "But this one just landed conveniently on our back porch."

"Conveniently…" James mused. Then he had his wand out.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"It could be an animagus," James said.

"If our game was up, if Peter already caved as our secret keeper, don't you think it would be Voldemort here, not a cat?"

"You never know who Peter might have caved to," he said. "If it wasn't to Voldemort directly…"

"Then they would've killed Peter and that person he caved to would have been made one of many new secret keepers and then told Voldemort," I said.

"Logic," James said, narrowing his eyes eyes at me. He grinned though. "Just let me test."

"Fine," I said, holding the cat out. It looked at me sheepishly, but just let its legs dangle down, submissive. James waved his wand silently and the air seemed to ripple for a moment.

"Satisfied?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

"So can we keep him?" I wondered.

"You sound like a little kid," he said. "But yes. Yes we can keep him. If you're sure it's a him."

I lifted the cat up higher. "It's a him."

"What're you going to name him?" he asked.

"I'm so bad at names…" I said.

The cat had been wandering around our house for days. He wove in and out of our bushes and begged for food, which of course I gave to him. And now he was pretty much calling our place home. He was a fluffy orange tomcat with big ears and big paws that made me think he wasn't close to full grown.

"His name is… Winslow," I said.

"Winslow?" he echoed.

"Yes," I said.  
>He laughed. "All right then. I'll get everything we need."<p>

Our summoning skills and transfiguration skills had come in very handy in the last year. We had learned how to make almost everything we needed out of simple stuff.

Harry was upstairs for his nap, so I brought Winslow into the sitting room alone, setting him on his feet. He instantly set to sniffing everything. James joined me on the sofa after a moment, putting his arm around me.

"Maybe he'll find the box on his own," he said, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek.

"Maybe," I agreed.

He put pulled me closer, and I leaned against his side.

"We're doing all right," he said. "Aren't we?"

"Yes," I said. "I will admit that I am a little surprised at our abilities. I thought we would've long since gone crazy at this point…"

He pulled me onto his lap, bring me closer to him.

"But we haven't," he said. "And we'll make it. If we have to go twenty more years, we'll make it."

"We wont have to go twenty more years," I said. "They'll beat him by then. They have to."

"They will," he said, stroking my cheek. "I'm certain they will."

"In a perfect world, we would live without fear, raise our son happily, and our many other children, and send them all off to Hogwarts…" I said. "but this isn't a perfect world."

"No," he said. "This is. It's a different kind of perfect."

"I just wish… that Harry could have a normal life right now."

"It's normal to him," he said. "It'll be okay. I know he'll be okay."

I nodded, kissing his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said. "And we'll be okay. And so will Harry. And any future children we choose to have at this point. Many of them, I think you said."

The doorbell rang then, and James, as usual, got up wand out, ready, just in case something happened.

He moved to the door, leaving me waiting on the couch.

"Oh," he said, pulling open the door. "Hello Professor."

I stood up. Dumbledore?

"Good afternoon, James," the professor said, tipping his tall pointed hat at James. "And good afternoon to you, Lily."

"Thank you, Professor," I said, smiling. "What brings you here? I must admit that this is a bit of a surprise."

"I thought I would drop in to see how the three of you are holding up since the changes have been made," Dumbledore said.

"Well, we're doing just the same as ever," I said. "I hope Peter is just as well."

"Yes, he is," Dumbledore said.

"Well come in," James said, gesturing to the sitting room. "It's just nearing tea time and the end of Harry's nap."

"Ah I would love to see the young Mister Potter again," he said. "He gets larger every time I see him."

"I feel the same way, and I see quite a bit of him," I said, sitting down on the couch as James went upstairs to bring Harry down.

"How are things with the Order?" I asked.

"It is getting difficult out there," he said. "But I personally believe we are making great headway… I just have my worries and many of them are being confirmed. We're doing well, as a group, but I'm worried about some things."

"That all makes sense," I said as James came down. He offered Harry to Dumbledore.

"Children," Dumbledore said. "I enjoy teaching young minds quite a bit, but if you'll ask my brother, I never had much skill with those under the age of ten."

"Harry seems to like you," I commented as Harry twirled Dumbledore's puffy beard around in his fingers.

"Yes, I can see that he is going to be quite the intriguing young mind…" he said thoughtfully.

"Do you see it?" James wondered.

"Do I see what?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Do you see it in him, to be the one to… what was it… 'challenge the Dark Lord?'"

"I don't believe that is for me to decide," Dumbledore said, smiling slightly. He examined Harry thoughtfully with his blue eyes. "That is up to Lord Voldemort and to Harry himself."

James looked at me, and I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

"I came here not only to check up on all of you," Dumbledore said. "But to ask, with a great amount of apology, as I know that this will cut off one of your only connections to the outside world, to borrow for a short time, your invisibility cloak, James."

"My cloak?" James said. "What for?"

"Ah…" Dumbledore said. "I know you would ask that. This is another occasion, James, where I feel that it is probably best not to share this information with you until a later date. After I have it, at least. It is a curious cloak, is it not? As far as invisibility cloaks come, I mean… Resilient. A powerful charm despite being passed down through the years…?

"Yes," James said. "I didn't know that was special, though."

"Most invisibility cloaks lose their charms, or wear with age, as would any usual cloak… but yours…" Dumbledore said.

James's eyebrows knit together. I wondered if Dumbledore wanted to see if he could replicate the cloak for the Order so there was no worry of charms wearing off as the war wore on.

"You can borrow it, Professor," James said. "And keep it as long as you'd like. I can always go out into the world as a stag. But I'm finding home to be more comfortable as the days continue."

"Thank you, James," Dumbledore said as James rose from the sofa and walked briefly out of the room. He returned with the neatly folded cloak and traded it for Harry, taking our son in his arms.

Dumbledore looked at it over the tops of his half moon spectacles, down his crooked nose.

"Yes… thank you," he said.

"You're welcome," James said. "Anything else we can do for you, Professor?"

"No," Dumbledore said. "But it was a pleasure to see both of you. I do believe Harry's birthday is coming up?"

"Yes, at the end of the month," I said.

"Well happy birthday, then, Harry," Dumbledore said, smiling at him. He rose briskly, folding the cloack over his arm. "Only ten more years until you can come to Hogwarts!"

"Don't wish his life away," I said laughing a little.

"I must be off," Dumbledore said. "I am sorry I could not stay and catch up any longer, but I must meet Alastor and Minerva this afternoon. Good-day to both of you."

"Goodbye, Professor," I said. "Can you say goodbye to Professor Dumbledore, Harry? Bye-bye?"

"Bye-Bye," Harry repeated. It was one of the words he knew. Usually he said it to Bathilda.

"Goodbye, Harry," Dumbledore said, giving him a slight wave. "James, Lily."

"Bye, sir," James said.

"I will speak to you all soon,' Dumbledore said. James walked with him to the door.

Once he had left, James came back into the room.

"I wonder why he wanted the cloak," he commented, sitting down.

"I was thinking he maybe wanted to attempt to replicate the charm on it?" I offered.

"Perhaps," he said. "But I mean, the Order isn't poor. I'm sure we can… they can… get a lot of cloaks if they wanted to, even though they would all wear eventually… I mean it isn't as if they last only a day."

"I know," I said. 'But it's the only thing that makes sense. Dumbledore himself doesn't even need a cloak, so I don't know what he could be up to."

"He's Dumbledore," James said. "He could be up to anything. He always is up to something."

"I'm sure whatever it is will help in the fight against Voldemort," I said.

"And that certainly means I will let him borrow it. I would let him borrow the cloak for the rest of my life if I thought he could defeat Voldemort by having it. I want to get out of here, and I will certainly aid that fight," he said.

"Agreed," I said, looking down at Harry, who seemed to be thinking about Dumbledore. The man was a bit odd, that was for sure. Harry had never seen a man with as much hair as I had coming out of my head, coming out of his face. Save for Dumbledore, that is. And every time he saw Dumbledore he was greatly intrigued by the length of silver fluff.

"Did you know it's going to be your birthday?" I asked Harry.

He looked up at me, but didn't say anything, because he didn't really know the word birthday, and therefore was kind of confused. His mouth was set in a fine line, contemplating still. He blinked his eyes, the mirror of mine.

"He doesn't care," James said, laughing.

"I know," I said. "We'll shower him with gifts, and he'll just think it's any other day."

"I can't believe we've had him for almost a year…" he said.

"I know," I said. "He's just… he makes everything that much better. This year would've been a lot harder without him."

I looked over at James. I knew he still couldn't sleep at night. He told me once it was because we could never do anything. He felt as if he slept all day, he said, and therefore he felt as if he couldn't sleep at night. He was growing restless every single moment, and I was afraid for the moment when he would do something stupid. I didn't think it would be tomorrow, but if we had to go another year in this place, I had a feeling he would just walk out in broad daylight and have fun dueling the Death Eaters one on one.

Harry looked at the both of us, and he reached out one slightly chubby baby hand. I took it, laughing and he smiled and laughed back at us. I wasn't sure what we were laughing at, but James joined in too.

"Do you know?" James said to him, reaching over and pushing his hair out of his face. It grew like a weed and, like James's, it never laid flat. Harry looked at him, silent. "Do you know how much we love you?" Harry was quiet still. I wasn't sure he was talented enough to reply to that yet. "Of course you don't'… you would think it is impossible."

James settled down in front of the sofa so that he was leaning against it. He pulled Harry off and rested him on his knees, so that our son was looking down at him.

"We love you so much, Harry," he told him. "Mummy and I."

"So much," I said.

James let him slid off his knees, down his legs and into his lap. As Harry laughed, James hugged him for a moment.

_Next Chapter: "Yes you'll definitely be a seeker." _


	68. Happy Birthday, Harry Potter

**_A/N: Just thought I would share: I had a dream last night. It was from the point of view of Lily, but it was weird... I don't even want to go into detail, because Freudian dream analysis would probably have a lot to say about it. _**

Chapter 68.

James:

I darted down the hallway, nearly tripping over my own feet as I avoided the yowling cat. The tail of the toy broomstick whipped around the corner, back toward the sitting room, and I decided that they needed to put speed regulations on these things.

I scrambled in front of the broom, finally, bringing Harry to a stop , right where he started. Bathilda gave him a round of applause from the sofa. Lily set down the camera, grinning.

"I got pictures of that,' she said.

"Brilliant," I said, panting. Harry sort of glared at me, as if he didn't understand why I had made him stop.

"Go more," he said. "Broom from Pahfoot!"

"You can go more soon!" I said. "Just let your mum and I… pack a few things away."

Lily looked down at the shattered vase that had been Harry's first victim. It was stained glass and horrible, came in the mail last Christmas from Petunia, and Lily was certain it was some sort of joke.

"Yes, that is such a terrible loss," she said, clutching her hand to her heart. "I suppose I have forgotten how to repair things… what a shame…"

I let go of Harry's broomstick, finally, and it was a stupid choice. The toy shot forward again, and he expertly turned it around the sofa. I clapped a hand to my forehead.

"I'm going to kill Padfoot for sending this," I muttered. I summoned a box and some newspaper to wrap up the decorative ornaments we had, and I set Lily to the task and went to go follow our son to make sure no one was injured.

After about an hour, he decided it was okay to stop, as long as it was okay to go again soon. I sat with him on the couch, getting out one of my old albums from my Quidditch playing days at Hogwarts.

Bathilda was still here as I showed Harry the pictures of me zipping across the pitch with a quaffle under my arm. He was very enthralled.

Peter joined us to wish Harry a happy birthday, but he was sort of droopy. It was a little disheartening.

"How have things been going?" Lily asked him.

"It's… interesting," Peter said, shifting uncomfortably as I looked up from my Quidditch album. Harry looked up too, mimicking me. Peter didn't look at him.

"Interesting?" I said, laughing a little. "I didn't think it ever wasn't. I wish we could be out there. I want this war to be over."

"I think everyone does," Bathilda said.

I looked back at the album and pointed at one where I was playing in a lighting storm. "That's me." I pointed to myself. Harry looked up at me. "It was pretty rainy. It was dark and hard to see. But we kept playing. You can play one day, you know. What position do you think?"

Harry pointed in one of the pictures, which was of our sixth year team. In it, our team was lined up. The captain's badge was on my chest, and our seeker sat in the middle, holding out the golden snitch. He was the one Harry pointed to.

"You want to be seeker?" I said. "The glory stealer. I see."

I flipped to the next page to show him a picture of the snitch, fluttering it's wings carelessly in front of the quaffle. Harry grinned at it excitedly and pointed. I laughed.

"Yes, you'll definitely be a seeker," I said, chuckling.

"Oh no, you're already corrupting him, James?" Lily said, shaking her head.

"Seekers the position I would've played…" I said.

"Except you were too good of a chaser…" she rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, I know."

-CD-

James

"It's definitely time for another one," she said, leaning against the crib. She smiled down at Harry as he snoozed peacefully, tired out from the events of his birthday. "He needs a little brother or sister to play with."

"I never did much like being an only child," I said. "It was nice when Sirius came around."

She smiled. "Do you think that he's happy?" she wondered.

"I think he's spoiled rotten. But happy," he said. "Of course. I think he's very happy. He smiles all the time. He jabbers on… half of it's made up, but half of it's real words… he seems very happy."

"I'm glad," she said.

"I am too," I said, putting an arm around her.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too," I said, kissing her cheek. She reached down and touched Harry's cheek. The expression on her face was one of the utmost motherly love. I knew she adored him. We both did. Harry was the best thing in our lives… him and each other. We were going to be so happy. We already were.

I put both of my arms around her and she put hers around me, tearing her gaze away from Harry. She buried her face in my chest, and I hugged her.

"I was really mad," she said. "When I found out that Voldemort was targeting us… was targeting Harry… I wanted to know why the world had picked us, what we had done to deserve this… But now… I mean, we have it all, James. We have everything."

I looked down at Harry for a moment, over her shoulder.

"Yes we do," I agreed, kissing her on the cheek, and then on the lips.

"Come on," she said. "Let's let him sleep."

"Okay," I said, chuckling. We walked down the hall to our bedroom, hands swinging in between us.

"I love you," she said again.

I picked her up then and she wrapped her legs around me.

"I love you too," I said. "So much."

I set her on her feet and started to dance with her. She laughed and kissed me quickly before twirling out and back in against my chest. I whirled the two of us in a circle, laughing, remembering our wedding day when we danced across the floor of my aunt's castle. We were so young then, a little crazy, a little quick. Hell, we were still young. We were only twenty-one. I couldn't believe it was nearly five years to the month when we started dating each other. On one hand I felt as if I'd been with her forever, because it was just so _right. _But on the other, the days had almost flown by.

I pulled her closer and put my arms around her.

"I love you," I whispered, picking her up and tipping her onto her back on the bed.

She looked up at me, her emerald eyes glimmering through her smoky eyelashes. She smiled gently and I leaned down to kiss her, pressing my lips against hers. She reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

-CD-

James;

I traced my hand down her side, over the curve of her thin shoulders, down the smooth skin. My fingers arced up over her slim hips, the creamy white skin perfect under my hands. Her eyelids fluttered as she looked t me, completely silent.

I smiled lightly at her. Her dark hair spilled over her shoulders, the red contrasting boldly from the color of her skin. Her lips parted a little in a gentle smile, rose lips pulled apart over white teeth. She was so beautiful it hurt. Every time. It hurt.

She took a deep breath, reaching out and twisting her fingers with mine. She propped her head up with the other hand and looked carefully at me. We both remained silent. The air was permeated only with the gentle sounds of breathing, and the beating of my own heart. I met her eyes with mine, hazel against green. I could almost see myself reflected back from the perfect emeralds.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, finally breaking the gentle silence.

She just smiled and shook her head.

"You can't tell me you don't believe me after all this time…" I murmured.

"I believe you," she replied quietly.

"Then why did you shake your head?" I wondered.

"Because even after five years you still tell me that all the time," she said gently, sliding her hand out of mine and brushing her fingers across my cheek.

"Of course," I said. "It didn't stop being true."

She slid closer to me and I wrapped my arms around her. I stroked her hair, holding her to me. She kissed my chest. The she reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling herself, if possible closer.

"Merlin, James," she said, her voice tight.

"What?" I said, one hand in her hair, the other on the small of her back.

"Don't ever let me go," she said, kissing me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I just… don't ever leave me," she said.

"Why… Lily, what… why would I do that?" I said, bewildered.

"I don't know," she said. "Just… don't. Because I know now that I can't live without you. I couldn't exist without you. In the last year… I would've gone off the deep end without you. You are what holds me here, holds me steady… James… I need you."

"Lily…" I said, squeezing her in a hug. "I need you too. You know that. I would never even think of leaving you…"

"I don't mean by choice…" she said. 'But you can't ever let anything happen to yourself, James. For my sake, James, and for Harry's."

"I would never," I said. "I have too much to live for. You don't understand…"

"I understand," she said. "it is exactly how I feel."

"You are everything," I said.

She squeezed me tightly in a hug.

"James Edward Potter…" she said.

"Yes?" I questioned.

"I just want you to know that no matter what, no matter how long we live, no matter what happens in our lives, how many children we have, how many grandchildren we have, whatever they do… I will be happy because I will have had at least five wonderful, amazing, years with you. At least. I could never be unhappy. I don't have the right to be unhappy at this point. I've gotten five years of bliss, and if the world gives me a hundred more, I'll be lucky, and if it only gives me five more, I'll still be lucky."

"It's going to give us a hundred," I said. "Five hundred…"

"And many children and wonderful grandchildren who are all amazing and wonderful people," she said.

"Without a doubt," I said, kissing her on the cheek gently. "I don't doubt it at all."

"We'll get through this war," she said. "I know we will…"

I held her close to me then. As she drifted off to sleep, I looked at her relaxed face, beautiful, in an almost unreal way. A world that would deny her a hundred more years would be a very cruel world indeed. She deserved it all. She deserved everything. She was everything.

_Next Chapter: Halloween. _


	69. Halloween

**_A/N: This is the final chapter. I'm uploading th epilogue right away, because it's really short. _**

Chapter 69.

Lily:

Autumn again. The leaves turned crimson, and golden and the color of butternut squash or sweet potatoes. The air became crisp as the leaves fell from the sky, carried away on breezes that were scented with spice and pumpkin, punctuated with the tang of dead leaves.

On the twenty-first of October, James and I celebrated our third anniversary. We gave each other nothing. We decided we already had enough. We had to decided to try our luck with the date. I told him I wouldn't mind another baby born at the end of July, as long as there was no bed rest this time. He said we would give it a try, and so we did.

On the morning of the thirty-first, I watched out the front window. The fidelius charm didn't prevent me from watching the early morning preparations for Halloween in the Muggle world. I thought for a moment of Hogwarts, of massive feasts, and floating pumpkins that hung over the heads of the students in the Great Hall.

A leave drifted down outside the window, floating down in a whirling arc, landing on the top of the bushes. It was bright orange, streaked with gold and red, a brilliant testament to the time of the season.

"Halloween!" James cheered excitedly, coming down the stairs. His hair was tousled from sleep, and he was rubbing his eyes behind the lenses of his glasses.

"Yes, Halloween, dear," I said, grinning at him.

"My favorite holiday," he said.

"Is is quite a good one," I said. "Though I think we might just be going with stereotypes here in the wizarding world, honestly."

"What's not to love?" he asked. "Mounds of ice cream and chocolate and candied apples, and cotton candy…"

I laughed. "Yes. All about the sweets."

"And all these muggles get is a pillowcase full of stale candy from the old biddies who just saved it all from last year…" he said. "I truly pity them. Truly."

I smiled at him and got up off the window seat, walking over to kiss him.

"Good morning,," I said.

"Good morning," he said. "Goodness, it really is a beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Yes," I said. "I wish we could go out and take a walk around the neighborhood in that breeze. Do you see it? It's just blowing through the leaves…"

He kept one arm around me. "Someday soon. Our poor kid will be pale his whole life. He never gets any sun!"

"Soon," I said.

He smiled and took a deep breath. "Did you open every window in the house?"

"Not every window," I said, sniffing the wonderful autumn air myself. 'Just most of them."

"I can tell," he said. "The whole place smells like October."

"My favorite month of the year!" I cheered.

"Hopefully it won't snow tonight," he teased.

"It would never," I said. "Not on Halloween."

"That's a lie," he said, chuckling.

"Well it thundered last year," I said. "Do you remember?'

"Yes," he said. "Spooky in a perfect Halloween way."

"Yes, yes," I said. "Well I should probably go and get Harry up."

"Okay," he said. "I'll go start breakfast."

"Okay," I said, heading upstairs. Harry was already awake and sitting up his crib, waiting for me. He always knew when I was going to wake him up.

"Good morning, Harry," I said, leaning down.

"Mama," he said, reaching up and letting me hoist him into my arms.

"Come here, my big man," I said, kissing him on the nose. "Let's go downstairs for breakfast, shall we handsome?"

I carried him down the stairs, even though he was already walking. I didn't, obviously, trust him on the stairs at this point in his life.

"Morning," James said to harry when we came into the kitchen. He kissed him on the forehead as he made eggs and bacon. I got out a bowl for cereal for Harry and sat down at the table with him.

"It's Halloween," I explained to him.

He gave me a look that clearly informed me that he didn't know what that meant and nor was he particularly interested. He fisted a few O's of his cereal and shoved them into his mouth.

"Yes, I can see you care deeply," I said, shaking my head.

"Hawoween," Harry repeated after he had swallowed.

"Yes, exactly," I said, knowing that was the best he was going to have at that point.

"It's pretty much the best day of the year," James told him. "Except… for your birthday and Christmas."

He put eggs and bacon and some toast on a plate for me.

"Thank you," I said.

"You're very welcome," he said.

"What are we going to do with ourselves today?" I wondered.

"Hmm…" he said. "How about the usual."

"Sit around and watch muggle sitcoms so that you can be entertained by their helplessness, eat some food, probably more unhealthy because it's Halloween. And then it will be about nine o'clock… so then we'll listen to the radio and Bathilda will bring over the _Daily Prophet. _And we'll take it from there."

Harry looked at the cereal on the tray of his high chair. He blew at them thoughtfully. They shot outward, spiraling wildly like simple leaves on the wind, not at all as they out to do. He giggle loudly. James and I stared.

"Well I suppose he is a wizard then," James said, laughing.

I laughed too. "I guess so." We'd seen other signs, on top of it, and well, he was our child. It seemed unlikely that he wouldn't have wizard talents. Highly, highly unlikely.

-CD-

James:

Bathilda settled in the armchair, handing me the _Daily Prophet. _Lily was on the floor with Harry, teaching him his colors by turning a ball different colors with his wand.

"What's this one?" she asked him, pointing to the red ball.

He looked up at her. "Red."

"What about this one?" she asked, turning it green.

"Red," he said.

She put a hand on her forehead, laughing. "No, honey… That's green."

"Gree!" he said.

"Yes," she said, laughing.

I looked over the paper. Nothing shocking about the war on the front page, but then again, they had gotten to the point where they liked to really hide it under the cheerful texts, a tiny paragraph tucked under a block about enlarged pumpkin patches and a Halloween celebration this evening in Diagon Alley.

"Anything new?" Lily asked, looking up from Harry, who was bouncing the ball, which was bewitched to bounce very high, but never go all over the place, out of control.

"Nothing horrible," I said. "A few attacks, and one break in at a shop, but it didn't really look like Death Eaters…"

"Yes, yes," Bathilda said. "but Dumbledore is worried. He has written me a couple of times, and one letter just came in yesterday. He seems to think that the Death Eaters are gaining ground rapidly this month. He hopes that they will quell their forces in November, and he has a plan, but he's worried. Albus doesn't tend to convey worry, you know him... But he's got a lot buried under that powerful exterior, I tell you."

"Yes, you've told us," Lily said, rolling onto her back. Harry situated himself so that he was sitting mostly on her stomach. She bounced him up and down, causing him to laugh.

Bathilda had shared quite a bit of the past of Dumbledore. He had grown up right here in Godric's Hollow, and her stories of his younger days, when she was younger too, were quite a bit to hear.

"I just think he's worried," Bathilda said.

"What do you think about al of it Bathilda?" I asked.

'I think that there's a change coming," she said. "You know, I've got all that seer blood deep down within me." She rolled her eyes.

"But do you really feel that way?" Lily asked.

"Yes I do," Bathilda said. "Strange as that sounds."

"It doesn't sound strange," I said. "Lily and I get gut feelings all the time."

"But we don't want to cling to any false hope," Lily contributed strictly.

"Yes, I know that," I said, folding up the paper and throwing it onto the sofa next to me. I wasn't going to bother with the pointless stuff.

Bathilda nodded. "Well, anyway, I must go. I need to clean the leaves up in my yard. Blasted autumn. Good for nothing but the smell."

Lily laughed. "It's not that bad. The leaves are pretty."

"Pretty until they decay into muddy sloppy slimy nothing underneath the snow and glob up the lawns in the spring…"

"Well thank you for bringing over the paper," I said, walking her to the door.

"Of course," she said. "Anytime for you two. You're such a cute family."

"Thanks," I said, laughing a little.

She smiled at me, and ducked out of the house.

"See you tomorrow, Bathilda," I said, giving her a wave.

"Good-bye, James," she said, waving back and shuffling down the walk.

I closed the door behind her and turned back into the sitting room.

"She brought a letter from Padfoot too," I said, tossing the note at Lily. "He is coming to visit tonight."

"Nice of him to give advanced warning for the first time ever in his life," she said, laughing. "Did you hear that Harry? Sirius is coming. Padfoot."

"Pafoot!" Harry said, his face lighting up.

"He says he's bringing sweets. He doesn't want to deny Harry his first Halloween just because we're stuck in," I said.

"Yes," Lily said. "Of course. Any chance to corrupt our child and ruin his teeth."

"What can you say, he loves the kid," I said.

"I know," Lily said, smiling. "He's so good with him… Certainly the right choice for godfather."

"We haven't seen him in so long," I said. "Not since… well I guess it's been since we switched secret keepers…"

"I know," she said. "It's a little dark without him in our lives, I think. I will be very happy to see him…"

'Me too," I said. "I've missed him. And you can tell Harry has."

I sat down on the floor with them, and Harry climbed off of her and climbed into my lap. I picked him up and flew him in the air. He smiled and laughed in delight.

"Happy Halloween," I told him.

"Hawoween," he said back, laughing some more.

Lily stole him out of the air and tickled his stomach. He laughed, squirming away, and then she held him up in the air, looking up at him… I laid on my back next to her, looking up at him too. I put a hand up to hold him, and the other hand twisted with her now free hand.

"We love you, Harry," I told him.

"Yes we do," she said.

"Happy Halloween."


	70. Epilogue: Padfoot

**_Quick A/N: Before I push the complete button on this fic, I'm changing the title to what it has been since about the midway mark. "Those Who Have Thrice Defied Him" Another A/N At the end. _**

Epilogue:

Sirius:

I roared to a stop on my motorcycle, outside the church in Godric's Hollow, turning into a dog as soon as my feet hit the ground. No one seemed to notice the noise. Children darted through the streets, laughing and giggling, screaming with each other as they ran up the walks to the various houses to demand a trick or a treat and usually receive candy.

I picked up my pace, weaving in between their scurrying feet. Some silly child dressed as a clown reached out and tried to pat him on the head, despite common sense that one should not pet a stray dog. My claws clicked on the pavement, my tongue hung out of my mouth. I was excited to see them. I hadn't see Lily and James, or my wonderful godson in so long.

I rounded the corner and my feet skidded to a halt on the sidewalk. The house… The entire roof was caved in on a section. It looked as if it had been blown up from the inside out. I picked up the pace again, pushing through the fence and running toward the front door. I changed into a human midway up the sidewalk, scrambling for my wand.

"Lily!" I shouted. "James! _Harry!... _James…_"_

I scrambled over a piece of wood and pushed open the front door, which hung off of the hinges.

"James!" I shouted, falling to the ground next to my best friend. He lay with his face down in the rubble, glasses askew. I reached out and rolled him over. His eyes stared blankly up at me, hazel with wide ever staring pupils. A noise caught in my throat. I held my hand to my mouth, closing his eyes. I moved to my feet, leaning against the doorframe, starting to cry. My brother…

But there was hope… Lily and Harry. There was still a chance they made it out alive. I shook my head, shaking the hair out of my face, wiping away the tears. Hands shaking, I walked into the sitting room, which was completely destroyed. Except, James's wand was lying on the sofa, untouched, in perfect condition. He must've left it there, thinking it had to be me approaching… but I had come too late. If I'd come just seconds before, I could've helped them,,,

I passed into the empty, undisturbed kitchen. The only thing that happened there was a pan fell off of the counter, landing upside down in the floor, the remnants of dinner in it. Then a loud cry jerked me out of the trance.

"Harry!' I shouted, running for the stairs.

I hurried up the stairs, one of which was caved in. I followed the cries down the hallway, and to the bedroom, I knew to be Harry's.

"Lily," I said, my voice falling silent again. She was splayed on her back on the floor, her face still wet with tears, green eyes shimmering in the yellow light. Behind her, there was Harry, sitting still, hands at his sides, tears pouring out of his eyes as he screamed and cried. Across his forehead was a torn up looking scar, in the exact shape of a lightning bolt. At the sight of him, I began to cry too. I reached out and picked him up, pulling him into my arms. He wailed against my shoulder as I rocked him back and forth, as the world shattered around the both of us.

"What happened? Where did Voldemort go?" I demanded. He just screamed into my side. "It's okay… Harry." Even though it wasn't. "I'll take care of you, Harry. I'll take care of you." I rocked him back and forth, unsure of what to do. And then it crashed on me.

Peter.

Anger clenched its fist around my stomach, locking tight as iron around the organ. I nearly vomited. He had betrayed them. He had sold them out to Voldemort. His best friend. James. He had always been… when we were in school. I had no idea… how he could've done this.

"Oh Merlin!" I heard from downstairs. And then there was more wailing.

I turned around and headed down the stairs, leaving Lily on the floor, because all I could do was hold Harry, he was all that there was. Why hadn't Voldemort killed him? He was what he had been after all along. I knew… of all the things in this world, I had to protect him.

Rubeus Hagrid was standing in the entryway of the Potter's house, crying puddles out of his eyes, which he blotted with a handkerchief the size of a table cloth.

"Lily an' James…" he said, sobbing loudly.

"Hagrid…" I said, patting him on the arm.

"Black, yeh need ter give Harry ter me," he commanded through the sobs.

"I can't…' I said. If he took him from me, I would find Peter. I could find him. I knew I could. Sniff him out like the rat he was.

"Yeh got to," Hagrid said. "Dumbledore said so. Bathilda Bagshot told him what happened."

"But… Voldemort…" I said, clinging to the child in my arms who had finally grown silent, though tears still were streaming out of his eyes.

"He's gone," Hagrid said. "Vanished. Somethin' happened when he tried ter curse Harry. He… He tried ter kill Harry, an' Harry survived…"

"He survived a killing curse?' I demanded, incredulous. "How does Dumbledore know…?"

"I dunno, don't ask me," Hagrid said. "Dumbledore has his reasons. All I know is he said ter give Harry ter me, and I'm suppose ter meet him in Little Whinging, in Surrey…"

"Right…" I said. Thoughts running through my head. Peter. He had to… I had to find him. I realized I would probably kill him. "Take my motorbike. It's parked outside of the church. I won't be needing it… I don't think"

"All righ' then," Hagrid said, slightly confused and taking Harry from me. The baby fit in one of his hands. I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

I watched them walk out of the house, Hagrid carefully stepping over the body of my best mate. I looked down at James.

"I'm sorry James," I said. "I should have never suggested the change. I'll make sure Harry is safe… But I need to get to _him_… first…"

I scrambled over James as well and ran out into the dark. I apparated before I reached the road.

-CD-

The end.

Completed July 18, 2011

_**My Long and Rambling Final A/N:**_

_**First, I want to say thank you if you have sat down and read this whole fic from the beginning. **_

_**To my amazing reviewers, an extra thank you! To lynnnyl, PureAwesomeness13, Mehghla, kiayame-san, and ilikepie2013 for constant feedback! It was much appreciated!**_

_**I hope you enjoyed this, and as usual I'm going to do a little advertising for myself: Check out After a Storm if you haven't read it (it's a RoseXScorp fic and I finished it a while ago), and The Summer is my current wip, a HarryXGinny fic, but I'm having trouble writing it, so it's a slow process and irregular updating, unlike this fic. But keep an eye on me, I have a special project a-working around in my brain. Some of you will hate it. Some may like it. We'll see. **_

_**Thank you and good day!**_

_**caputdraconis14**_


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